My fiance has been in the Air Force for 14 years and is an A-10 crew chief. Since the day I met him, he had been an instructor and had a pretty calm job. He wrote curriculum and oversaw the instruction of new airman, but the hours were great (7-3, Fridays he left at 1 and some weekdays he left earlier than 3), he could come and go as needed if he had appointments or whatever, and the job's biggest demand was writing EPRs. He did it for 6 years, which is a long time, and just recently went back out to the flight line.
He's a TSgt, so he's supervising. He's REALLY happy to be back out there; he's always told me that he's heart is in turning a wrench. His shift changed and now he is working swings, so he leaves our house at 12:30 pm and doesn't get home until 11:00 or 11:30 pm.
Now, for the whining. I was so spoiled before and I do NOT like this swing shift nonsense! He's told me that this is the real military experience, and I totally know that's true but that doesn't make me like this any less. I see him on the weekends only, we're both sleeping horribly because we wake each other up when he goes to bed and when I get up, we hardly speak, and it's kind of putting a strain on our relationship. We're bickering about stupid things that we normally wouldn't, and we're both on edge.
He has a son who is with us half time (almost 7 years old) who has been behaving pretty poorly because of this adjustment, and I'm not his primary caregiver in our home so I am the lucky one that gets to deal with all of that behavior. When FDH is home, his son is crazy clingy. I understand the reasons, but it's been gradually getting irritating because he's trying to separate us when we are sitting together, talking, etc.
We are doing everything right (at least I think so). We are making time for us, he and his son have one-on-one time, we are making sure that we get solo time (like he relaxes alone and I relax alone). It's not like we can talk about what's happening that much because there's nothing we can do about the shift, and I don't even know where to begin with what bothers me the most about his absence. I'm also struggling because he is so proud of his career and being in the military and I don't want to say anything that will make him feel poorly.
Any of you ever experienced anything like this? (Sorry this was so whiny, by the way...but I warned you in the title!