New Here!! JOP wedding question.... courthouse and metal detectors

AliceDavis112088

We just got engaged Friday, and I was totally surprised!!! Bigger surprise, he made an appointment at the courthouse for The 19th!!!! 4 more days until I get married!!!!!

Question. My fh says he's going to wear jeans to the courthouse Friday because he doesn't want to deal with the metal detectors and his charlies. His shirt stays have metal and he said they are gonna have him pull them off(because of a bad airport expeience) has anybody had any experience with this?

firsttimersluck

Nope. Can't say that I have. Totally depends on the metal detector being used there so... I don't blame him for not wanting to mess with the shirt stays. Those are a total pain. I take it you don't want him in jeans?

AliceDavis112088

he doesn't even own a nice pair of jeans.  he ruined his nice pair at a concert a couple of weeks ago jumping over a railing... I am wearing a wedding dress, and I want him in dressier attire... Not like his alphas or anything, but even dress pants would work, which of course he doesn't own, and after purchasing our rings he doesn't have the money for, and I didn't know I was going to be getting married until after I went shopping Friday afternoon....

AliceDavis112088

oh and I am going to call/go down to the courthouse tomorrow and talk to someone in charge of security... see if i can't get this figured out....

firsttimersluck

Well, you don't HAVE to get married at the courthouse in a few days. If you don't like how it's going to turn out, whether it's attire or anything else, ask him to cancel the appointment. If it's just the messy pants holding you back, plan it when he CAN afford a pair of dress pants (Ross has dress pants for men.. for super cheap? ).

If not, ask him to suck it up for you... Just.. don't wear the shirt stays for a couple hours while at the courthouse? They aren't required regs, so he doesn't HAVE to, although I know it definitely helps keep the appearance looking crisp.

EDIT: That may work, but don't have too high of hopes. It's a courthouse and so they are going to have relatively high security. Although I suppose if you give them the heads up, he may not have to take them off. It seems strange that the airport made him..

firsttimersluck

wait... I'm confused.. Why does the knot say your wedding is August 19, 2012 if you're getting married this week?

AliceDavis112088

We are getting married sooner because of orders, which is funny because i was moving with him either way, but he wanted to marry me, and asked me, and when I said yes, he told me he wanted to make it official before we leave.  We will be in transit for a month before arriving at our new duty station... so we won't recieve any mail.  We need to have our hard copy of our marriage license and I need to change my sscard before we can get my id.  we need me enrolled in deers before we move to make it a little easier at the new duty station.  we have exactly 3 weeks before we move once we get married tack on 3 days for the time remaining before our wedding... it is gonna take most of that time to get everything in order....

I will suggest to him not using his shirt stays at the courthouse, that is a great idea, hes really really really picky about his uniforms, and will probably say no, but its worth a shot.  Unfortunately we can't change much else.  We are looking at getting someone to officiate but it would be same day and almost immediately after we get our license.

kyrgyzstan

Enh, I just got my marriage license at one of the SD courthouses, and there was no metal detector. I was pretty horrified at what people were wearing. Like club dresses and 5 inch platforms. Of course, most eveyone there was young. We were by far the oldest couple there. And the only ones not actually getting married, lol.

As for all the other stuff, FI leaves 5 days after the wedding to go TAD for a month, and I already have Special POAs in place to enroll myself in DEERS, register my POV, etc. I also wouldn't want to get married right this second if you guys are not in a financial place to buy him a pair of dress pants. 

firsttimersluck

eek.. That sounds like a huge headache >_<
I wish you luck with the move and paperwork.
It's worth a shot, but you're probably right that he'll refuse (my FI would too. He hates them but would never wear his khakis without them).
GL I hope you get it figured out. Let me know how it goes and what he decides to do. Don't forget about bringing the witness :P

firsttimersluck

Ummmm rude Stan... I always wear my stilletos when I go to the courthouse :P

kyrgyzstan

Also, does he have $$ for the license/ceremony fee, etc.?

AliceDavis112088

Because I am planning my vow renewal not my wedding. Don't really have much time to plan a wedding. If you look at my counter it says vow renewal.

AliceDavis112088

Yes, the only reason we don't have the money this second is because he spent the majority of his last two checks on my ring his ring things we have done gas food storage unit po box paying bills etc. It's not like we are always broke. Second, yeah we have the money for the license and ceremony and to get us to payday, but new pants aren't in the budget. He said he will try to find plastic clips for his shirt stays when I told him I was asking questions to people!

ggirl2001

Can he borrow a pair of dress pants from someone??

Definitely call the courthouse you are going to. The place I went to apply for marriage license did not require me to go through metal detectors (and they did the marriages in a room there that was not through metal detectors), however the different court building I went to to file it, did require metal detectors just to get anywhere.

SamiJoeB

If you only have 3 weeks, chances are his orders are already cut, and you're probably not on them. I'm not trying to be snarky at all, but if you're not on the orders in the first place, he'll more than likely have to move without you and then come back for you.. It would all be reimbursed by the military, but at the time it would be on your dime.

As for the shirt stay issue, I just don't see any courthouse security giving a man in uniform a hard time about setting off a metal detector.  Is your FI in the Marine Corps? I'm just wondering, it kind of sounded like it..

amberg017

Hey, welcome I'm new too, and still spend most of my time reading the awesome advice these ladies give...they're very helpful! My FI wonders where I keep coming up with this random info that I read on here, lol.

I don't have any advice for your current situation, but I do want to suggest you get a new SN. Yours looks like your full name plus your birthdate...that's a loooot of information to have out there for random internet strangers to read. Good luck with everything!

calindi

Alice - congratulations and good luck!  I go to courthouses regularly (no, I'm not a deviant - my FI is a soon-to-be lawyer) and honestly, the security isn't that great.  Nothing compared to airports.  He should be just fine.  If he's really worried, couldn't he bring his uniform in a suitbag and change once he's inside?  He can slide the suitbag straight through the x-ray machine and walk through the metal detector normally.

I definitely wouldn't let FI wear ripped jeans to a wedding, let along our OWN wedding!  As it was, the only pair of jeans he owned prior to our engagement photos had a giant hole in the crotch.  I bought him a new pair at Kohl's for $35 and it was worth every penny.  Khakis and dress pants are sold there, too, for similar prices.

Sammy0709

There was no metal detector at the court house we went to. It was more comparable to a DMV TBH...lots of shady people waiting in line for something.

LetsHikeToday

Hi Alice.

I live in an area with high security at our courthouse so I'd probably talk to them before hand.

What were your plans for moving etc. before you got engaged?

AliceDavis112088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-here-jop-wedding-question-courthouse-metal-detectors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:958e6fd8-8b69-459c-b2b6-de715f68b7ffPost:acedc619-7a78-4b0c-86f4-620b2aac6d57">Re: New Here!! JOP wedding question.... courthouse and metal detectors</a>:
[QUOTE]If you only have 3 weeks, chances are his orders are already cut, and you're probably not on them. I'm not trying to be snarky at all, but if you're not on the orders in the first place, he'll more than likely have to move without you and then come back for you.. It would all be reimbursed by the military, but at the time it would be on your dime. As for the shirt stay issue, I just don't see any courthouse security giving a man in uniform a hard time about setting off a metal detector.  Is your FI in the Marine Corps? I'm just wondering, it kind of sounded like it..
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

Sami just FYI orders can be rewritten to include a new spouse. My fh is admin and works in ipac and has worked in the Id center. Yes he is marine corps. I never thought there would be a problem either. Like I said he was just concerned bc of an issue at the airport he had when he was traveling in uniform. Stupid tsa!!!

AliceDavis112088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-here-jop-wedding-question-courthouse-metal-detectors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:958e6fd8-8b69-459c-b2b6-de715f68b7ffPost:6521f026-4ca9-48a8-b0f4-7b8d59ef6060">Re: New Here!! JOP wedding question.... courthouse and metal detectors</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Alice. I live in an area with high security at our courthouse so I'd probably talk to them before hand. What were your plans for moving etc. before you got engaged?
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

We were going to move me anyway, either live in off base housing like we currently do, or get a waiver from his command for military housing.  My FI has three kids, so we were going to go for a caregiver waiver since he was a single dad with full custody.  all we had to do was get his new command to sign off on it. 

firsttimersluck

Well I hope it all gets worked out smoothly so you can move with him as an included dependant. I know that whole situation can be a big PITA!

AliceDavis112088

Called the courthouse and they said good to go!!!

firsttimersluck

oh good! Glad it's figured out!

SamiJoeB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-here-jop-wedding-question-courthouse-metal-detectors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:958e6fd8-8b69-459c-b2b6-de715f68b7ffPost:810c9950-f800-4c45-8969-d72b4ef678d7">Re: New Here!! JOP wedding question.... courthouse and metal detectors</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New Here!! JOP wedding question.... courthouse and metal detectors : Sami just FYI orders can be rewritten to include a new spouse. My fh is admin and works in ipac and has worked in the Id center. Yes he is marine corps. I never thought there would be a problem either. Like I said he was just concerned bc of an issue at the airport he had when he was traveling in uniform. Stupid tsa!!!
Posted by AliceDavis112088[/QUOTE]

I know that they can be rewritten (I'm prior service myself), but not everyone's FI's work in IPAC.  I was saying that it CAN be a pain.

Also, total pet peeve of mine, always capitalize the branch of service &/or SM you're talking about (Marine Corps, Marine, Army, Soildier, ect).. I think I forgot to put "Marine" in a text once and my H was like "Umm.. <strong>M</strong>arine.. thanks."  It's just a sign of respect  and we're all about respect here!!<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

Ditto what PP said about PERSEC/OPSEC.. You can email TK to delete your account, but since you don't have that many posts just make a new one!

kyrgyzstan

Lol. I so want to know if your FI works in IPAC at FI's base. If so, raaaaahhhhhrrr! J/K

AliceDavis112088

Omg seriously? I know opsec and persec. And as long as I'm not giving out my home of record current base and military movements I'm fine. There's more info on Facebook and myspace about most people. Get over it. My fi is fine with my name and trusts my judgement. Secondly omg I didn't capitalize Marine get over it. I'm typing on my phone it's not like I'm disrespectful of the corps at all. I was actually planning on going a few years back and my med waiver was denied. I have the highest respect for all military personal their spouses and their families. I don't nag people about their preferences or errors or tell people that maybe you should wait if you're broke. I actually have felt very unwelcome by this group in the past 24 hours. This is supposed to be the happiest week of my life. You ladies should understand that more than anyone. This is saddening to me that adult women can't just answer a question without reading into every little detail. Wow...

firsttimersluck

Wait what the heck?! How have I been unwelcoming??
I wasn't trying to tell you to "wait if you're broke" . I was just trying to give you a couple different options as suggestions so that your fi doesn't have to wear jean you don't seem to want him in.
Rude.

AliceDavis112088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-here-jop-wedding-question-courthouse-metal-detectors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:958e6fd8-8b69-459c-b2b6-de715f68b7ffPost:f7b6e4ae-1dd4-454a-8742-9e887754db79">Re: New Here!! JOP wedding question.... courthouse and metal detectors</a>:
[QUOTE]Wait what the heck?! How have I been unwelcoming?? I wasn't trying to tell you to "wait if you're broke" . I was just trying to give you a couple different options as suggestions so that your fi doesn't have to wear jean you don't seem to want him in. Rude.
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

Not you. It's not everyone but specific people. And I'm appalled. Actually because of people like you I'm still on here. Otherwise I would have deleted my account. Oh and just so everyone knows my an that I use on my knot app was unavailable on here and they have two ifferent registration processes unless I missed something which wouldn't surprise me. And I would love to use that an here but it's unavailable.

SamiJoeB

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-here-jop-wedding-question-courthouse-metal-detectors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:958e6fd8-8b69-459c-b2b6-de715f68b7ffPost:95b8dd11-e39b-481a-af15-a301928e46e1">New Here!! JOP wedding question.... courthouse and metal detectors</a>:
[QUOTE]We just got engaged Friday, and I was totally surprised!!! Bigger surprise, he made an appointment at the courthouse for The 19th!!!! 4 more days until I get married!!!!! Question. My fh says he's going to wear jeans to the courthouse Friday because he doesn't want to deal with the metal detectors and his charlies. His shirt stays have metal and he said they are gonna have him pull them off(because of a bad airport expeience) has anybody had any experience with this?
Posted by AliceDavis112088[/QUOTE]

Seriously? Based on this intro, how am I supposed to know if you're familiar with the military at all?!  From this all I gather is that you got engaged on friday and you're getting married on the 19th and that your FI wants to wear jeans.  I am very sorry if you took offense to what I said to you, because my intention was not to be snarky, but to clarify for other brides who maybe have your same question but just lurk on the boards.  Not everyone has a hookup in IPAC like he obviously does. So if a newb was in a similar situation and did the exact same thing you're doing, it might not work out as perfectly as is apparently will for you.

 Generally I assume that people with even a slight knowledge of OPSEC/PERSEC wouldn't have their full name and birthdate as thier sn, but hey I guess that's what you get when you assume the best of people. Sorry that I'm so unwelcoming.

ggirl2001

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-here-jop-wedding-question-courthouse-metal-detectors?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:958e6fd8-8b69-459c-b2b6-de715f68b7ffPost:2a1fdf93-38a6-422d-b7d3-399e66ff44e9">Re: New Here!! JOP wedding question.... courthouse and metal detectors</a>:
[QUOTE]Omg seriously? I know opsec and persec. And as long as I'm not giving out my home of record current base and military movements I'm fine. There's more info on Facebook and myspace about most people. Get over it. My fi is fine with my name and trusts my judgement. Secondly omg I didn't capitalize Marine get over it. I'm typing on my phone it's not like I'm disrespectful of the corps at all. I was actually planning on going a few years back and my med waiver was denied. I have the highest respect for all military personal their spouses and their families. I don't nag people about their preferences or errors or tell people that maybe you should wait if you're broke. I actually have felt very unwelcome by this group in the past 24 hours. This is supposed to be the happiest week of my life. You ladies should understand that more than anyone. This is saddening to me that adult women can't just answer a question without reading into every little detail. Wow...
Posted by AliceDavis112088[/QUOTE]
 Actually, no one was being unwelcoming. Yes, you might know that, but not everyone reading this post would and that is the whole point of internet forums, specifically those who like to lurk. All we have to go on is what you are saying here. So yes, orders can be rewritten, but it can be a pain. What Sami was saying that it might be more difficult than a person might expect. How the heck is anyone supposed to know your FI works in IPAC?  Secondly, the reminder to capitalize was  not nitpicky at all, but you got your panties in a bunch over it. It was a friendly reminder, again, for anyone else that might also be lurking. No one was rude to you, yes they asked questions, but again, thats because all we have to go in is your posts.  So when someone says they are getting married in 19 days but doesn't have money to buy dress pants, and offers up no further details, people are going to question and be concerned so they can get the full story.