Military Brides

random question

If FI and I we're both in the military, we're to have a baby and decide not to get married, but still be living together. Would that make us single parents and undeployable?


*Disclaimer: this is not us. We do plan on getting married at some point. We do not have a kid or even one on the way. It is just a random question
Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

Re: random question

  • edited December 2011
    Umm.. I don't know the full answer to this so I will defer.. BUT I will say that

    1. I know plenty of single parents that have deployed. Child doesn't always =nondeployable, unfortunately.  

    2. I'm guessing they would HAVE to know that the child belongs to both parents as well, so the military would easily use that as an excuse to make deploying possible.

    3. Two people living together but not married, I hope they are both e/e or o/o or they are going to get in some serious trouble there. 


    Other than that, I'm sure other knotties know websites that make this question clear.
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_random-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:da73fdd0-af42-44ca-b3d6-4f6d5565ed2cPost:86233830-19a2-44a0-8637-0c238acd6afd">random question</a>:
    [QUOTE]If FI and I we're both in the military, we're to have a baby and decide not to get married, but still be living together. Would that make us single parents and undeployable? *Disclaimer: this is not us. We do plan on getting married at some point. We do not have a kid or even one on the way. It is just a random question
    Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

    <div>I also know of plenty of single parents that have been deployed.  </div><div>
    </div><div>However I can pretty much guarantee that this wouldn't work.  Even if just for that fact that someone in the unit or department would find out and be pissed that you were working the system for the benefits and not deploying, and would turn you in.  </div>
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_random-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:da73fdd0-af42-44ca-b3d6-4f6d5565ed2cPost:dd495889-0350-49ae-82c9-339641e22f08">Re: random question</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to random question : I also know of plenty of single parents that have been deployed.   However I can pretty much guarantee that this wouldn't work.  Even if just for that fact that someone in the unit or department would find out and be pissed that you were working the system for the benefits and not deploying, and would turn you in.  
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
    I would hope so. I just wondered. I would never do this. I picked a job that is pretty deployable. I think if you think you aren't going to deploy you're silly
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
  • LuluP82LuluP82 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I know truly single moms who've been deployed (ie dad not in the picture, not paying child support, etc). So I really doubt that your scenario would make the couple undeployable.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yeah I actually had friends growing up that would go live with their aunt for a year, or some family member would come live with them, while the single mom deployed.. messy situation, but that's part of the military anyway..

    What you described is fraud and abuse  of the military benefits.. It would be sooo easy for them to catch it, and kick both out with serious knocks on the record. Not good at all.
  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    A single parent can and will get deployed.  They have to have a family care plan at all times.  If not, you can be kicked out of the military.  Also, both parents can be deployed at the same time, so a back up care giver has to be listed on the family care plan. 
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't like these hypotheticals.  When the hypothetical involves hypothetically cheating the system, it just makes my skin crawl.  If it's not you, then either someone you know is considering this or it really is you and you're just trying one of those "oh, it's just a friend...".  Either way, I don't like it.

    Short answer: I think someone would find out.  I know being a single parent doesn't exempt you from deploying.  And I really don't like people who try to think up ways to cheat the system.

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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto Stan. One of my best friends in the Navy was in Iraq, found out she was preggo, came home, had the baby, stayed with the baby for a year, and then went back to Iraq. Baby daddy was AD, and her eventual H is also AD. At one point, all the 3 of them were deployed. That is why it is pretty imparitive that SM with children have updated Child Care Plans.

    random question K.. very random.
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  • Sammy0709Sammy0709 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If these hypothetical people don't want to deploy they should get out of the military. I hate when people cheat the system. Maybe I'm just bitter cause I follow the rules and still get screwed sometimes lol.
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I promise it was completely random. I was thinking about it. Like if it was me what would happen. But its not me nor anyone I know. I have a friend, single dad, the mom isn't around, and he volunteered to deploy. I think if you don't want to deploy, don't enlist. It happens. oh well. 

    To be honest this wouldn't be me, I want to deploy and I want to be married. I already know who my child would go to if FI and I we're to both be deployed
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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