random question

KendallR10

If FI and I we're both in the military, we're to have a baby and decide not to get married, but still be living together. Would that make us single parents and undeployable?

*Disclaimer: this is not us. We do plan on getting married at some point. We do not have a kid or even one on the way. It is just a random question

firsttimersluck

Umm.. I don't know the full answer to this so I will defer.. BUT I will say that

1. I know plenty of single parents that have deployed. Child doesn't always =nondeployable, unfortunately.  

2. I'm guessing they would HAVE to know that the child belongs to both parents as well, so the military would easily use that as an excuse to make deploying possible.

3. Two people living together but not married, I hope they are both e/e or o/o or they are going to get in some serious trouble there. 


Other than that, I'm sure other knotties know websites that make this question clear.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_random-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:da73fdd0-af42-44ca-b3d6-4f6d5565ed2cPost:86233830-19a2-44a0-8637-0c238acd6afd">random question</a>:
[QUOTE]If FI and I we're both in the military, we're to have a baby and decide not to get married, but still be living together. Would that make us single parents and undeployable? *Disclaimer: this is not us. We do plan on getting married at some point. We do not have a kid or even one on the way. It is just a random question
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

<div>I also know of plenty of single parents that have been deployed.  </div><div>
</div><div>However I can pretty much guarantee that this wouldn't work.  Even if just for that fact that someone in the unit or department would find out and be pissed that you were working the system for the benefits and not deploying, and would turn you in.  </div>

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_random-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:da73fdd0-af42-44ca-b3d6-4f6d5565ed2cPost:dd495889-0350-49ae-82c9-339641e22f08">Re: random question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to random question : I also know of plenty of single parents that have been deployed.   However I can pretty much guarantee that this wouldn't work.  Even if just for that fact that someone in the unit or department would find out and be pissed that you were working the system for the benefits and not deploying, and would turn you in.  
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
I would hope so. I just wondered. I would never do this. I picked a job that is pretty deployable. I think if you think you aren't going to deploy you're silly

LuluP82

I know truly single moms who've been deployed (ie dad not in the picture, not paying child support, etc). So I really doubt that your scenario would make the couple undeployable.

firsttimersluck

Yeah I actually had friends growing up that would go live with their aunt for a year, or some family member would come live with them, while the single mom deployed.. messy situation, but that's part of the military anyway..

What you described is fraud and abuse  of the military benefits.. It would be sooo easy for them to catch it, and kick both out with serious knocks on the record. Not good at all.

kyrgyzstan

No, no, no. 

Every service member with children (single or married) needs to have an updated and viable Family Care Plan at all times.

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:TwO0y_XOm1QJ:www.dtic.mil/whs/directives/corres/pdf/134219p.pdf+family+care+plan&hl=en&gl=us&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEEShv3ImacfuzCmKbz4IYaNmIiuHs64zm1wRIF5j_nYQHzGgWQPvz6uuBAxUoFuv_2zIQPp-1Tm04rkdl7gpaSnVJBQXekRlPE4zIbrdpa7PiFLcvyWRa98hCFzkSj5oF8nOlx_t0&sig=AHIEtbRBCtA9xOMDTolycL0upNBEwqIuUQ&pli=1

iluvmytxrgr

A single parent can and will get deployed.  They have to have a family care plan at all times.  If not, you can be kicked out of the military.  Also, both parents can be deployed at the same time, so a back up care giver has to be listed on the family care plan. 

calindi

I don't like these hypotheticals.  When the hypothetical involves hypothetically cheating the system, it just makes my skin crawl.  If it's not you, then either someone you know is considering this or it really is you and you're just trying one of those "oh, it's just a friend...".  Either way, I don't like it.

Short answer: I think someone would find out.  I know being a single parent doesn't exempt you from deploying.  And I really don't like people who try to think up ways to cheat the system.

SamiJoeB

Ditto Stan. One of my best friends in the Navy was in Iraq, found out she was preggo, came home, had the baby, stayed with the baby for a year, and then went back to Iraq. Baby daddy was AD, and her eventual H is also AD. At one point, all the 3 of them were deployed. That is why it is pretty imparitive that SM with children have updated Child Care Plans.

random question K.. very random.

Sammy0709

If these hypothetical people don't want to deploy they should get out of the military. I hate when people cheat the system. Maybe I'm just bitter cause I follow the rules and still get screwed sometimes lol.

KendallR10

I promise it was completely random. I was thinking about it. Like if it was me what would happen. But its not me nor anyone I know. I have a friend, single dad, the mom isn't around, and he volunteered to deploy. I think if you don't want to deploy, don't enlist. It happens. oh well. 

To be honest this wouldn't be me, I want to deploy and I want to be married. I already know who my child would go to if FI and I we're to both be deployed