HI my name is Amber and my boyfriend is currently in his last week of BCT. He hasn't asked to marry me yet but he told me he bought a ring. (kinda ruined the surprise). but I wanted to ask is best to get married before deployment or after? His possible 1st depolyment is july, so that would be really soon. And also have any of you done a longer engagement? I wanted to wait 1 and 1/2 years so we can save up some money.
Re: Intro
[QUOTE]I feel like a hypocrite when I tell people to wait until after at least one deployment because we didn't go through our first deployment until after we were married. However H was on shore duty when we met so we were together almost 2 years when we got married. Also I was 26 at our wedding with my degrees already and knew way more about myself than I did a few years ago and knew that I would make it through the deployments. However, if you are at all questioning it, then you should definitely wait it out through one. It is perfectly fine and actually a great idea to be engaged for a year and a half to save up money and go through a deployment. As Kara said deployments can make or break a couple, and it's much better to find that out before you get married.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It's my personal opinion that it's a bit different when the service member has been in a while. He knew what kind of service member he was before you got married. Very different IMO.
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[QUOTE]Thanks for the advice, Id like to wait to save money and he wants it as soon as possible haha. We talk alot about it since i know its going to happen already. I know a bunch of girls that got married on the family weekend. i thought they were nuts but i want a full blown wedding maybe thats why.
Posted by twiztedxdreams[/QUOTE]
<div>No, your gut is right. They were nuts, and not because they eloped. Getting married on family day, post boot/basic leave, etc. is insane. Completely. It's the same as getting married right after a deployment. Let the service member adjust and come down from the insanity.</div>
We're also doing a long engagament, not because of deployment but because I'm in school. Not gonna lie, it's very nice to not be feeling pressured about getting everything ready all at once! I'm enjoying being able to work on it in my spare time - it keeps it fun for me.
As far as I'm concerned, there's not a single bad thing that could happen if a couple decides to wait to get married. If you get married super fast it might work out, it might not... but why risk it when you could be developing your relationship as a dating/engaged couple instead of a married one??
Long engagements are just fine if they work for YOU. every couple is different. Save the money, get to know him even more while he's deployed, feel out the military community as you will be stuck married to it as well for a few years, and worry about the planning when he comes back to harrass