Because I know you ladies pin, a confession...

calindi

I soooo did not want to get out of bed today.  Sami, I totally understand why you didn't go to class!  

Seems that staying in bed would have been a good decision for me, too.  I got stuck in 1.5 hours of traffic for what usually takes me 20 minutes to get to work.  I then promptly smacked my head against the cabinet above my desk.  Then that awful meeting where I felt like I was between a rock and a hard place, and could hardly speak my mind while being asked to confirm the lies my boss was spitting out (that I think he actually believes).  I mean, I know this guy has 4 kids and has declared bankruptsy twice and is hanging by a string, so I feel bad in any way helping the process to have him fired, but seriously he sucks at his job.  And it makes my whole life here at work impossible because he sees anything I do well as a direct challenge to his authority and tries to take credit for it all. 

So now I have a pounding headache from hitting my head and a stomach ache from the stress, and still tense from driving for so long in such awful traffic in the pouring rain.  I just want to crawl back into bed and go to sleep until it's tomorrow.  Or Saturday.  Or 39 weeks from now.

Irishcurls

Ugh I have a hacking cough and laryngitis bad and wish i had just stayed home. But no, I'm all trying to earn a gold star at work, so here I am. AND I had a gyn appointment this morning, which was just barrels of fun....

firsttimersluck

booo Irish I'm sorry That's crappy.

Slacker Samij :P I don't have math classes on Wednesdays so I... don't have class at all today. Love it. Although I meant to get my butt up for Stepclass and I just feel freakin exhausted from a twoadays gym day yesterday... I'm so sore.. So I'll just make it to the evening crossfit class. Oh well.

KendallR10

I have 2 confessions:

1. I wish I hadn't screwed up on here.

and 

2. I miss my best friend. I never thought I could miss someone so much. With all of this wedding planning its making it really hard not to cry at night. 

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_because-ladies-pin-confession?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f3d32d16-8f20-4d83-a805-7086e68af08bPost:a580c7c7-d7ef-447b-93dd-1b3d4489bd35">Re: Because I know you ladies pin, a confession...</a>:
[QUOTE]I have 2 confessions: 1. I wish I hadn't screwed up on here. and  2. I miss my best friend. I never thought I could miss someone so much. With all of this wedding planning its making it really hard not to cry at night. 
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

Confession: this kind of breaks my heart.  I feel like you drive me crazy and you frustrate me unbelievably, and I do often think you're making naive choices, but I can't imagine how it feels to be excluded and picked on and yet still want to come back day after day.  I feel like I'm going to try to put it behind me and not make your life harder going forward.  I was bullied as a kid, and it's never fun.  I'll still be honest, but I won't pick on you.

I'm really sorry about losing your best friend.  Have you talked to a therapist about it at all?  I went through a particularly tough few years where it seemed like I went to a funeral every other month, and I kind of pushed it aside and it took a few years for me to realize that I was still hurting.  Because I had taken so long to address my pain, it had grown and become nearly overwhelming at times.  I was diagnosed with PTSD, and ended up in therapy for over a year to deal with it.  It's so key to focus on moving forward and doing what's best for you, because loss is never easy but unfortunately it's a part of life.

KendallR10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_because-ladies-pin-confession?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f3d32d16-8f20-4d83-a805-7086e68af08bPost:31609940-335f-4fb3-b594-c31acdb59b9c">Re: Because I know you ladies pin, a confession...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Because I know you ladies pin, a confession... : Confession: this kind of breaks my heart.  I feel like you drive me crazy and you frustrate me unbelievably, and I do often think you're making naive choices, but I can't imagine how it feels to be excluded and picked on and yet still want to come back day after day.  I feel like I'm going to try to put it behind me and not make your life harder going forward. <strong> I was bullied as a kid, and it's never fun</strong>.  I'll still be honest, but I won't pick on you. I'm really sorry about losing your best friend.  Have you talked to a therapist about it at all?  I went through a particularly tough few years where it seemed like I went to a funeral every other month, and I kind of pushed it aside and it took a few years for me to realize that I was still hurting.  Because I had taken so long to address my pain, it had grown and become nearly overwhelming at times.  I was diagnosed with PTSD, and ended up in therapy for over a year to deal with it.  It's so key to focus on moving forward and doing what's best for you, because loss is never easy but unfortunately it's a part of life.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]
I've been bullied my whole life. Its made me stronger. Nothing you guys have said has even come close to some of the things that have been said to me over the years.<div>
</div><div>I went and saw a theripst right after it happened by forcing of my parents. I spent 8 sessions sitting and staring at a wall or crying. I didn't want to talk about it. I'll probably go back after the wedding. I have a lot of guilt right now and I think that is a lot of it. </div>

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_because-ladies-pin-confession?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f3d32d16-8f20-4d83-a805-7086e68af08bPost:b3895696-dc45-4434-9388-e4a39a8c0ae6">Re: Because I know you ladies pin, a confession...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Because I know you ladies pin, a confession... : I've been bullied my whole life. Its made me stronger. Nothing you guys have said has even come close to some of the things that have been said to me over the years. I went and saw a theripst right after it happened by forcing of my parents. I spent 8 sessions sitting and staring at a wall or crying. I didn't want to talk about it. I'll probably go back after the wedding. I have a lot of guilt right now and I think that is a lot of it. 
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

People are cruel to one another far too often.  I've been snotty with you occasionally, and I feel like we have definitely gotten some common sense beat into your head, but that doesn't make bullying right.  Like I said, I'll continue to be honest and direct, but I'll try to avoid picking on you.

As far as grief goes, yep, it is in stages.  I don't think I was ready to talk about what happened until 2 years later, and I didn't lose a best friend.  Just do what you can.  Writing about it can help, too, like a journal.  Crying is a good thing.

I compare it to cleaning out a wound.  If you don't tend to it and just hope it gets better, it will usually get infected.  And then you have to scrape off the scab to scrub out the infection.  It HURTS!  But it gets a little better.  So you scrape off the scab again and pour peroxide on the wound again, and it stings!  But it gets a little bit better.  And over time, it heals and forms a scar.  The better you take care of it, the less likely it is to overflow into other aspects of your life and make you sick.  It'll always be a part of you, but it's key to make sure it doesn't take over who you are and what you want to do.  Your friend would never want that, I'm sure.

tyleet87

I love Pinterest! I have used a handful of recipes so far that I found on there. It's amazing.

My work blocked it but I suppose that's a good thing or else I would do NOTHING all day. Haha