New to all this

AlyssaTucker

Hi my names Alyssa,

Im from Texas and DF and I have been engaged for a 14 months, and have decided to get married after his next upcoming deployment. We're thinking September but that is subject to change.

I am going to be doing all of this myself, and we just want a simple, yet traditional church ceremony. He's non-denominationl christian and I'm catholic. I wont be doing a reception or any of that...just the basics. (Originally we were going to the courthouse.) He'll be absent most of the planning due to deployment and I don't really know where to start..

I've gathered some numbers of a few churches around the area and will talk to them about if they'll marry us, hopefully DF and I can meet with some pastors this weekend..

I'd love any advice or tips to help me get started in the right direction..

Thank you

crownsuperstar

Holy first and last name Bat Man!

Please change your screen name first.  I would suggest just starting a new account on TK.  You do not want to give out your first and last name or your first name with your FI first name.  Safety is always first and most important. 

Are you doing to do a dinner with family or just the service? 

amh04

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:ff616b59-d6b1-4b5d-8abb-f60ca65b92dfPost:70ab85cc-27a5-4fe0-994c-b4a7b027792a">Re: New to all this</a>:
[QUOTE]Holy first and last name Bat Man! Please change your screen name first.  I would suggest just starting a new account on TK.  You do not want to give out your first and last name or your first name with your FI first name.  Safety is always first and most important.  Are you doing to do a dinner with family or just the service? 
Posted by crownsuperstar[/QUOTE]

Second this. Persec is important!

Good Luck with everything and we'd love to hear more about your plans! My FI is catholic and I'm in the process of becoming Catholic now :) There are a couple other catholic military brides here as well.

divinemsbee

Yes, just create a new sn and get TK to delete this one.

In my time lurking on the E board, I will say that the reception is considered the "Thank You" to your guests for coming to celebrate your marriage with you, so maybe something small, like just cake and punch, would be good to do. Of course, if you're just having family, doing a dinner for them would be lovely.

As far as the Catholic thing goes, I'm sure you've already put a lot of thought into your life with your FI, but if you are married outside of the Church, you won't be able to take sacraments. Are you guys going to have an interfaith ceremony with the pastor and the priest at the church? I've seen this done several times and it always seems like a really good way to start an interfaith marriage out. Most priests will totally work with you on things like Pre-Cana if your FI is going to be away.

Good Luck! And welcome!

SamiJoeB

When you make a new sn, make sure you re-introduce yourself!!

Welcome to the board!! Congrats on your engagement. 

• Make sure you're get Military clauses in any and all of your vendor contracts, and to be on the safe side, I wouldn't plan for anything within the first few months (4-5 honestly) he's scheduled to return from a deployment. Things can always get pushed up, or back or delayed, it's just the nature of the beast with the military. 
• Also, Someone on the board will have a Military Newlywed FAQ button that has tons of great info on OPSEC & PERSEC, or you can just google it!  It's super important to keep yourself, your FI, and all of our FI/H's safe as well!! 

Tell us more about yourself!! What do you do? What branch is your FI in? Do you have a dress yet?

firsttimersluck

It sounds like you have already gotten yourself started in the right direction!
Congratulations and welcome to the military bride board
You pretty much have the advice already so I won't be redundant, but please feel free to share pics (*cough cough dress cough cough*  ) of wedding stuff with us, more information about yourself (how did you guys meet? ) and ask any questions, opinion, help you need/want!

Zimsgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:ff616b59-d6b1-4b5d-8abb-f60ca65b92dfPost:c4bc2f35-4820-4c0b-83a1-8303f3b0b714">Re: New to all this</a>:
[QUOTE]It sounds like you have already gotten yourself started in the right direction! Congratulations and welcome to the military bride board :) You pretty much have the advice already so I won't be redundant, but <strong>please feel free to share pics (*cough cough dress cough cough*  ;) ) </strong>of wedding stuff with us, more information about yourself (how did you guys meet? ) and ask any questions, opinion, help you need/want!
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]
HAHA Yes! Also Welcome! I'm a Catholic Military Bride as well. My church is being slow with info I need so I'm not entirely sure of the process yet either :/

prettyirishgirl

I'm with zimsgilr - another catholic military bride.

You will want to look into your areas process for this if you try a catholic church: If you aren't both catholic to be married in a catholic church you need permission (signed letter) from you bishop. It is only a sacrament if you are both baptized, If one of you isn't baptized its only a natural marriage (basically your priest just serves the same roll as a judge in a JOP).

I don't know what you have to do for other Christian churches.

Random facts of life: on a nose note I lived in Dallas/Ft. Forth area for a while. Which churches are you looking into? They have some very nice ones around there.

If you want to do something a little more flexable in a catholic church I'd look for one that is separate from a parish. Where I am having my ceremony doesn't have a parish and falls under another group, so they are a lot more forgiving or helpful in terms of allowing me to pick whatever priest or deacon I want, and that means it is up to the priest/deacon what we have to complete before the ceremony. As an example it is up to the church what music you play. Most catholic churches will only let you play religious music, but the sisters in charge of my church are ok as long as it is tasteful and we all agree on it.

Stuff to ask when you meet with them: Some will also require that you use their musicians, alter servers, priests etc. so make sure to ask questions like that. And not that you need to worry about this now, but a lot of churches (any denomination) will not let you remove flowers from the sanctuary or allow photographers(and other vendors or people) in the sanctuary while you are being married or flash at any time during the ceremony. This can limit flexibility of video or photos which is sometimes a big deal if you want a specific shot.