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Musicmajor

Hi everyone! I'm hoping for some advice from those who have already started the wedding planning process. My boyfriend and I have been together for two wonderful years, and we will be getting married in late May or early June 2010 (basically as soon as we're out of school for the summer). We have been very open and honest with each other, and we're 100% on the same page. The only issue is that we won't be "officially engaged" until possibly the end of October, because it's very important to him to take his time picking out the perfect ring and planning the perfect proposal. We have already told our families and close friends, but I feel like I shouldn't start asking my attendants until I'm actually engaged. BF doesn't mind planning as much as we need to ahead of time, but I'd rather wait if it's possible. So what do you ladies think; can we plan a wedding in 7 months while we're both full-time students and working?

notquiteblushing

Hi and yes I think you can definitely plan a wedding in 7 months.  I mean you're already sort of planning one now, right?  You don't need to ask bridesmaids so early, as long as they have time to order their dress.

jeanacorina

Don't ask your bridesmaids yet, but you should do some things like look into venues and see what dates are available. You can do it all in 7 months, but it wouldn't hurt (as long as BF is on board) to get some logistics out of the way.

sapphirebaby926

It is entirely possible to plan a wedding in 7 months - I am planning mine in 5. At this point though you may want to go ahead and look at venues because in some areas places will book a year or more in advance. As long as you and your BF are on the same page about looking before you are engaged then I wouldn't worry what anyone else says.Also do not pick your bridesmaids too early - check out the wedding party board and you will see tons of posts about people who picked their wedding party early and regret it now. Wait until about 6-8 months before the wedding to ask your attendants.

salt78

It's possible, but why the rush? Is the world going to end in 7 months? Why not wait until after you graduate and things calm down a little? If he's the perfect guy, which I'm not questioning he is or not, then he will still be there later on.

jeanacorina

Pfftbbt, Salt!I want to get married before I graduate.... because.... okay, I don't have a good answer. But if the girl's willing to go through the extra stress (and I am too!) then I say they should go for it!Of course, nothing wrong with taking some time to consider--- do you really want to put that stress on yourself while in school? I sat down and thought about that, and came up with "Well, I want to be his wife, like, today... but planning a wedding sounds like a PITA, so... we'll just go get married somewhere exotic and not do the whole "centerpieces/favors/invites" shabang."I wouldn't have time for that if I WASN'T a full-time student and working. :P

Musicmajor

The venue, at least, won't be a problem. We've agreed to get married in my hometown church, and we're having a low-key reception in another building in the church (no caterers or DJs). I'm not sure how far in advance we'll need to talk to photographer and florists, though. I've heard as much as 12 months in advance for a dress, but I visited David's with one of my girlfriends (and yes, BF knew about it) and they said it won't take that long as long as you don't order a custom-made gown.

salt78

[i]"Well, I want to be his wife, like, today... but planning a wedding sounds like a PITA, so... we'll just go get married somewhere exotic and not do the whole "centerpieces/favors/invites" shabang."[/i] You are kind of an exception because you are sort of eloping. I get the feeling that she wants a more elaborate wedding then that.

Musicmajor

We're fairly traditional, and we won't be living together, having sex, or even sharing a bank account before we're Mr. And Mrs. No judgments; it's just our personal decision. We're really ready to start our life together, and it'll be another three or four years before we're finished with grad school anyway. He graduates in May 2010, and I graduate in May 2011. It'll be tough, but we're willing to work a little harder for the next couple years.

salt78

I'm beginning to see what the rush is.

jeanacorina

Oh, Salt! You're such a negative Nelly! ;)But................. I can see where you're coming from there.

twinkie757

It's possible to plan a wedding in 7 months, but depending on the size of town you live in it could get difficult. I just started looking at reception halls for July 2010 and I've already been told that 1 out of the 2 options in my hometown is booked for the entire month. Just so you know, if you are telling friends and family you're engaged then you are officially engaged.

AnneAndJJ

Is it possible? Definitely. Would I want to do it? NO!! I'm a full time student, and I work, and I can't imagine trying to get a wedding planned at the same time. Maybe with a year or more to do it in, but not 7 months. If you're both ok with planning before you're engaged, I say, go for it, save yourself some stress!! I can understand that you'd rather wait, and if you want to, then go for it. And, don't choose your attendants until you're engaged. My friend went out and told me who she was choosing a year and a half before their wedding date, and before they were engaged. At the time, there was a possibility (yes, she told me this, she was choosing between me and another) that I would be a BM. Well, she chose the other girl, who she barely talks to, and it hurt my feelings (now me and another friend are doing readings though). Anyway, it's not nice to hurt people's feelings if you change your mind, so just leave that until you get engaged.

Musicmajor

Salt, I can see where you're coming from too, but if waiting to have sex was a big enough issue to push us into marriage before we were ready, we wouldn't be waiting. Thanks for the advice, everyone! I was pretty sure it was a no-no to start asking attendants before we're engaged, but I don't know much about wedding ettiquette/rules either.

salt78

Fair enough. You would be surprised at the amount of girls that it IS a motivating factor for. Scary and sad.

karenttrouble

If I were you, I would stop planning the wedding until you're actually engaged.  Otherwise, becoming engaged will be meaningless. 

jeanacorina

I don't think it would be "meaningless" to her.