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Unfairness. *sigh*

Elle1036Elle1036 member
Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
in Not Engaged Yet
So my boyfriend's 21-year-old sister is, as of Sunday, engaged.  To the guy she's been seeing, off and on, for about a year.Really?  Really?!Hello, by the way.  I'm new here and thought perhaps you guys could share my frustration or help me vent.It's not that I'm in a huge hurry...  It would just be nice to know that it's headed there eventually, I guess.
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Re: Unfairness. *sigh*

  • jagore08jagore08 member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    A 21 y.o. who's been in an on and off again relationship for a year is nothing to be jealous about.
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • cocitygirlcocitygirl
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, no reason to be jealous.  Very unlikely that is going to end well.
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  • noelle24noelle24
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't really see it as "unfair" that a 21 year old in an unstable relationship is engaged.  Thank your lucky stars that this isn't you. As for knowing if it's heading there eventually for you, well, that's only something you and your BF can figure out.  If it's bugging you, talk to him about it.
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  • mermadisonmermadison member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Um, hello jealous lady. Nice to meet you. I know that 21 is young-ish, but I know a lot of long-term (and married!) couples who have be in the "on-again, off-again" category at one time. Suck it up and be happy for them.
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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I don't mean to sound jealous or to sound like I'm not happy for her (I am, and I wish her the best).  It's just a nagging reminder whenever I talk to her.  Oh well...
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  • Button5807Button5807
    Fourth Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It would just be nice to know that it's headed there eventually, I guess.Sounds to me like you haven't even had a discussion about marriage yet, maybe you should work on that before you go off feeling sorry for yourself for not being engaged yet.
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • cocitygirlcocitygirl
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Elle, how old are you and your BF, out of curiosity?
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  • tiana531tiana531 member
    Eighth Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    jealousy is a normal feeling, dont feel bad especially when your waiting for an engagement...but for all you know the on again off again relationship could have had been a forced engagement, like she could have said "if you want this to work then ask me to marry you"  who knows...
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  • fletch102483fletch102483 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know what you mean, and now everyone is asking you when you're getting engaged right? You're just going to have to put on a happy face...
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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Button:  We have talked about it, a lot actually.  We have talked about where would like to get married, what type of wedding, where we should spend our honeymoon, etc.  So I guess I should feel that it's headed there, but all of our talk has been very hypothetical in nature.  Again, I'm really just venting some frustration that I'm almost ashamed to even feel.Cocitygirl:  We are 25 and 24, respectively.  We're young, too, and I know that.
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  • Lacey BarnettLacey Barnett
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm 21 myself, and I can definitely tell you that this is nothing to be jealous about. Anyone together off-and-on, especially this young, for only a year and engaged is clearly not thinking with their head on straight. Just let her enjoy basking in her newly-engaged spotlight for a while, knowing that when your time comes it will be for all the right reasons.
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  • chicka_bonita9chicka_bonita9
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm with missy i'm also 21 & BF & I have had the marriage talks. The age or "relationship status" of close people around you when they get engaged is not that important as long as you guys have already spoken about marriage. Maybe you guys should revise this conversation in a more "real" way as in planning a reasonable timeline together or asking him when he sees himself getting married. It's tough to see other people around you getting engaged & you're wondering "hmm i wonder when that's going to happen to me" but just be patient & be happy with your current relationship until your day comes.
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  • AmberjgAmberjg
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well if you're saying that you are just sick of people all around you getting engaged and not you then i understand what you're saying. I have been seeing it all around too... o well.. my day will come... and yours will too
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  • AnneAndJJAnneAndJJ
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I completely understand where you're coming from.
    He pretty much had me at "hello".
    -- PS I agree with whatever Jeana said --
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  • cutypie953cutypie953 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I totally understand that feeling, I had it a few times myself before I got engaged.  Just some thoughts from this side...there is nothing to be jealous about, every guy and every relationship has its own timeline, for all you know your bf may have engagement plans of his own in the works.  I would get jealous of the people around me getting engaged and it would affect my mood until one day my guy's best friend (now best man) said "If you want it to happen, it will!  Have faith in your own relationship and stop concentrating on everyone else's.  Your bf wants to see you happy in what you two have, not upset at other people."  So, I listened (who knew a guy could give advice like that!) and it happened!  if it is meant to be, it WILL happen and let your guy feel like he can do it freely, not like he is pressured or obligated because if he knows you well, he can sense all that jealousy...I think guys have a radar for that sometimes! 
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  • prettypixyprettypixy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    my boyfriend and I have been together for four years, and we're JUST starting to think wedding thoughts. I found out a few weeks ago that my cousin who has barely been with his gf for over a year is saving money to buy a ring.... It's wicked frusturating and it sucks, but just think... you might not be married first, but they'll probably make it to divorce first!trust me, I feel your pain sister! ;-)
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