Fake License?? Already Married!

NOLAbridealmost

While I do not condone what the OP did, lying for 9 months pretty much means that the bed has been made: at this point they can either move forward with the charade and POSSIBLY (even VERY possibly) get caught and hurt everyone. Or they can man up and say they've been lying and DEFINITELY hurt everyone.

Call me the minority on this, but I'd just not tell anyone and move forward with the fake wedding.   It's tacky and horrible, but it's kind of too late to go back in time and not be tacky and horrible.  

Of course, that being said, OP might mitigate some of the hurt feelings by fessing up before everyone travels, buys gifts, etc.  But if you insist on going forward with the farce, why not just not sign the license during the ceremony??

I was MOH in a Catholic wedding and the license was signed privately the night before with me, the priest, and the BM as witnesses. The license wasn't present at all during the religious ceremony.

Good luck, OP.  Sounds like you reallllly need it. 

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:a10131ac-587b-4d42-a937-b67cc1d257a6">Re: Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fake License?? Already Married! : I know that who signs and what you get back varies from state to state.  But aren't they both "legal documents", since the certificate is issued by the state as well?  That was my point since the pp had suggested looking for a certificate instead, since they aren't actual legal documents. Now, I also know that there are some states that allow you to purchase a pretty "souvenier" certificate in addition to the official one.  But as a general rule, <strong>I thought marriage certificates were legal documents.
</strong>Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

They are.  And in Pennsylvania, it is the officiant who files the certificate.  What are you going to do OP if it is the same in your state? 

murphb

I don't understand why everyone is being so incredibly hateful to this person. My fiancé's sister did just this. A few months before she and her husband had their ceremony they got married at the courthouse with only the bride and groom's parents present. They did this so that she could be covered under his insurance. Later, they had the ceremony and reception with their friends and family. It was beautiful, and even though the wording in the ceremony was very slightly different, no on noticed. Not even the couple's grandparents know about this to this day. People do this all the time and it's no big deal. 

OP, perhaps you could make your own marriage certificate to sign and have it printed on nice paper. Looky here!

 http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.calistogachristiancenter.org/marriage-certificate.gif&imgrefurl=http://www.calistogachristiancenter.org/church-marriage-certificate.html&usg=__sgM9u4xRTcPE0asuXF_grti0jFQ=&h=768&w=594&sz=62&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=fSi_8WfTh-gj4M:&tbnh=159&tbnw=123&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmarriage%2Bcertificate%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1133%26bih%3D590%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=279&vpy=230&dur=9&hovh=255&hovw=197&tx=125&ty=261&ei=0ZkKTaW_KcKC8gb5ncSgAQ&oei=0ZkKTaW_KcKC8gb5ncSgAQ&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:6,s:0

Just an example. I agree with the couple of people above me when I say do not tell a soul about this. You've waited this long, telling everyone now would just create unnecessary drama. Hope you have a beautiful wedding!!

peaceistheway

Wow, silly, silly women.

I swear these message boards are for pms rants to lash out on other women for no freakin reason.

Point of the matter is this. its not your wedding. It may seem wrong to you, but being demeaning, or saying this must be a joke, or whatever the case, is just absurd.

I'm planning my wedding, which is in October of next year. My fiancee, who is in Afghanistan currently, and I are planning to make everything official when he gets home in April. My parents are in talks of getting a divorce, and my whole world is about to turn upside down, and I can't see a better time to make everything official between us once he gets home. So im covered under his insurance, so we can put our money towards helping my parents with the wedding costs and not towards rent, or health insurance for me, etc. It just makes sense. All of my bridesmaids know about our plans, and not a single person really cares. Even my parents know about our plans, and its really not as big of a deal as any of you are making it seem.

And for the record... anyone who would be willing to throw a friendship to the curb because of such a scenario is clearly not a true friend at all. 

So many weddings occur for the wrong reasons, but the actual day is a mere celebration of union. Who cares when the papers were signed?! Youre getting a nice meal, some free drinks, and an overall good evening out, filled with happiness, love, and some entertainment. ANYONE in attendance should bring just that. Happiness and love. If someone attending thinks theyre nothing but another gift on the table should likely not attend, because if you feel that way, then youre not bringing the best of luck and intention for the wedded couple. 

overall point im trying to make... it is what it is. no need to get your hair in a fluff over a situation that isnt concerning you. no need to lose faith in humanity... at least not for this case. i mean, sweet bajeebus, you all swear the institution of marriage is held in high regard. divorce rates are at an all time him. simply wish the best for the couple taking the jump, regardless of a future date or past, and let it be.

MY BEST WORDS OF ADVICE... FOR EVERY SINGLE HUMAND BEING:

LIVE AND LET LIVE. 

rosesarefree

Wow. I am very surprised how people feel about this situation, troll or not. On another board, people demeaned a woman who was looking for ways to include her 2yo, telling her that a marriage was only about the 2 consenting adults. Here it seems the wedding is all about the family and friends of the two consenting adults.

I am speaking from experience, I did the same thing, except we have told immediate family that we are married. We got legally married in August and had our daughter in September. We wanted it to be official (we were engaged before the baby) so I would be covered under his insurance and he would be able to make medical decisions for me in case her birth was less than ideal. At the time we had no money to pay for even our immediate family to come and celebrate with us. We did not get married in a courthouse, but we did not get married in a church either which is very important to my husband. He is Catholic, and until we are married in a church his religion doesn't recognize the marriage. If circumstances would have been different, we would have just had a small wedding with all important members in attendance but our budget didn't even allow for that. So we are going ahead with our "wedding" so that all the friends and family who weren't able to be there can witness us exchange our vows.

As far as the "gift grab" goes, does anyone actually come out ahead financially after a wedding? We are paying for the entire thing ourselves, and I can pretty much guarantee that we will end up spending much more than we receive. Saying someone is throwing a wedding just to get gifts is ridiculous, we would be much better off financially if we just bought ourselves the gifts instead. I am very excited to be spending the rest of my life with this man, and I want to celebrate it! Our immediate family understands and is not upset about it at all. I have another friend who did the same for military reasons and considers her actual wedding day their "paperwork day" and the wedding with all their friends and family as their anniversary. I don't think it's as uncommon as people think. Our family knows us both well enough to know that we're not extra selfish people out to swindle them for gifts and lie to them for fun. We just want them to be a part of it all, and should any of them find out, I will hope they will see the bigger picture and realize we were trying to do what was right for our daughter but include our family and friends in our celebration as well.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:6ecba5be-613d-4474-a4d6-6ca167217c43">Re: Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow. I am very surprised how people feel about this situation, troll or not. On another board, people demeaned a woman who was looking for ways to include her 2yo, telling her that a marriage was only about the 2 consenting adults. Here it seems the wedding is all about the family and friends of the two consenting adults. I am speaking from experience, I did the same thing, except we have told immediate family that we are married. We got legally married in August and had our daughter in September. We wanted it to be official (we were engaged before the baby) so I would be covered under his insurance and he would be able to make medical decisions for me in case her birth was less than ideal. At the time we had no money to pay for even our immediate family to come and celebrate with us. We did not get married in a courthouse, but we did not get married in a church either which is very important to my husband. He is Catholic, and until we are married in a church his religion doesn't recognize the marriage. If circumstances would have been different, we would have just had a small wedding with all important members in attendance but our budget didn't even allow for that. So we are going ahead with our "wedding" so that all the friends and family who weren't able to be there can witness us exchange our vows. As far as the "gift grab" goes, does anyone actually come out ahead financially after a wedding? We are paying for the entire thing ourselves, and I can pretty much guarantee that we will end up spending much more than we receive. Saying someone is throwing a wedding just to get gifts is ridiculous, we would be much better off financially if we just bought ourselves the gifts instead. I am very excited to be spending the rest of my life with this man, and I want to celebrate it! Our immediate family understands and is not upset about it at all. I have another friend who did the same for military reasons<strong> and considers her actual wedding day their "paperwork day" </strong>and the wedding with all their friends and family as their anniversary. I don't think it's as uncommon as people think. Our family knows us both well enough to know that we're not extra selfish people out to swindle them for gifts and lie to them for fun. We just want them to be a part of it all, and should any of them find out, I will hope they will see the bigger picture and realize we were trying to do what was right for our daughter but include our family and friends in our celebration as well.
Posted by rosesarefree[/QUOTE]

they can call it whatever precious name they like.  The fact is, it IS their wedding day.  And your wedding in August was your wedding.  You wanted all the rights of being married:  insurance, medical decisions, your daughter having married parents, but you don't want to acknowledge that those choices results in consequences.

You have a little girl.  I'd think the $$ you'll be spending on a PPD might be much better used for your little girl:  put it into a college fund now, and in 18 years, you may well have her college, or at the very least, a couple of years, already paid for.

For me, it's all about priorities.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fake-license-already-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:beff7908-fcf8-4248-a1b0-8ba3cb3d43dePost:6ecba5be-613d-4474-a4d6-6ca167217c43">Re: Fake License?? Already Married!</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow. I am very surprised how people feel about this situation, troll or not. On another board, <strong>people demeaned a woman who was looking for ways to include her 2yo, telling her that a marriage was only about the 2 consenting adults</strong>. Here it seems the wedding is all about the family and friends of the two consenting adults. I am speaking from experience, I did the same thing, except we have told immediate family that we are married. We got legally married in August and had our daughter in September. We wanted it to be official (we were engaged before the baby) so I would be covered under his insurance and he would be able to make medical decisions for me in case her birth was less than ideal. At the time we had no money to pay for even our immediate family to come and celebrate with us. We did not get married in a courthouse, but we did not get married in a church either which is very important to my husband. He is Catholic, and until we are married in a church his religion doesn't recognize the marriage. If circumstances would have been different, we would have just had a small wedding with all important members in attendance but our budget didn't even allow for that. So we are going ahead with our "wedding" so that all the friends and family who weren't able to be there can witness us exchange our vows. As far as the "gift grab" goes, does anyone actually come out ahead financially after a wedding? We are paying for the entire thing ourselves, and I can pretty much guarantee that we will end up spending much more than we receive. Saying someone is throwing a wedding just to get gifts is ridiculous, we would be much better off financially if we just bought ourselves the gifts instead. I am very excited to be spending the rest of my life with this man, and I want to celebrate it! Our immediate family understands and is not upset about it at all. I have another friend who did the same for military reasons and considers her actual wedding day their "paperwork day" and the wedding with all their friends and family as their anniversary. I don't think it's as uncommon as people think. Our family knows us both well enough to know that we're not extra selfish people out to swindle them for gifts and lie to them for fun. We just want them to be a part of it all, and should any of them find out, I will hope they will see the bigger picture and realize we were trying to do what was right for our daughter but include our family and friends in our celebration as well.
Posted by rosesarefree[/QUOTE]


Get your facts straight before you throw around examples.  I was one of the responders to that thread and nobody demeaned her in any way shape or form.  She flipped out for no reason and is likely banned for what she said to two of us.

aerinpegadrak

It's all about honesty.  You don't lie to a 2 year old and let them believe that they're marrying Mommy, and you don't lie to your guests and let them believe that you're not legally married.  Why is this so difficult to understand?

banana468

Roses, which family says that they want you to still have a wedding? By your post above, you're lying by omission to most of your guest list.