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Re: I

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    edited December 2011
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    Beads921Beads921 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Grow.TheFvck.Up.

    Kthx. Now I'll try being nice.

    I think PPs have covered most of this, but I'm going to say it anyway: 
    1. You contradict yourself A LOT. 
    2. 9 months is NOT a long time, no matter who you are or what your situation is. I've been with BF nearly 3.5 years, and trust me, the first 9 months were nothing. We're also still not ready to get married, but different strokes for different folks. 
    3. If you are, in fact, ready to marry this man, you should be able to TALK TO HIM. It's a novel concept, I know, but communication is, as it turns out, kind of important to a marriage and relationship (who knew?!). So instead of asking us what we think, try asking him. 
    4. It kind of seems fairly clear to me that he's not ready for marriage (knowing you want to marry someone, and actually being ready to do it are two, very, VERY different things), since he knows that you won't live with him until you're married and he's looking at houses with his brother. You don't usually look at houses with someone when you're planning to marry and live with someone else in the near future. But I could be mis-interpreting this. In order to figure that out, you'll need to try out #3. 

    Good luck!
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    PolkaDotBellaPolkaDotBella member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Everyone has really good advice for you! Talk to him. Sit down and discuss your goals for 2, 5, 10 etc years. 9 months is really quick to be thinking of getting engaged, but then again I've been with my bf for a little over 6.5 years so maybe we just move slower than average. We always sit down at least once or twice a year to make sure we're both still on the same page goal-wise though. Regardless if we're slow though... 9 months does seem really fast!

    You say he's your best friend which means you should be able to talk to him. You said he's brought it up before, so therefore, I assume, he is comfortable discussing it. Therefore you should be fine discussing the future and future goals with him.

    Good Luck!!
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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-womanly-advice-let-him-im-ready-engement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:238f2a3d-e0b3-43ab-ad79-0eb72498b830Post:594f2843-dbdc-4023-bee8-8d84fa176f04">Re: I need womanly advice on how to let him know im ready for engement!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Facebook Updates: SenoritaCupcake and Wrkn are now Friends. SenoritaCupcake and Lyz are now Friends. 5 similar stories.   There you go, it’s not official til it’s Facebook Official.
    Posted by SenoritaCupcake[/QUOTE]

    Whoa, where's my friend request?

    Ya hurt me real bad, Cupcake...
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    AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-womanly-advice-let-him-im-ready-engement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:238f2a3d-e0b3-43ab-ad79-0eb72498b830Post:623fcee5-ee9e-4014-b919-8a121ce26368">Re: I need womanly advice on how to let him know im ready for engement!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I need womanly advice on how to let him know im ready for engement! : Whoa, where's my friend request? Ya hurt me real bad, Cupcake...
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    I know, right?
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
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    MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm hoping to be one of the 5 similar stories....



    ....or else!
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    edited December 2011

    Jeez guys, all you had to do was click 5 similar stories... Yeesh.
    Here ya go,

     

    Senoria Cupcake is now friends with Elle because she makes epic radish earings.

     

    SenoritaCupcake is now friends with Podge because she’s a kickaass mod.

     

    Senorita Cupcake is now friends with Kathleen because she smells nice… I mean.. umm….

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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_need-womanly-advice-let-him-im-ready-engement?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:238f2a3d-e0b3-43ab-ad79-0eb72498b830Post:52719729-ca04-4557-b767-ebd6d15d38d5">Re: I need womanly advice on how to let him know im ready for engement!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jeez guys, all you had to do was click 5 similar stories... Yeesh. Here ya go,   Senoria Cupcake is now friends with Elle because she makes epic radish earings.   SenoritaCupcake is now friends with Podge because she’s a kickaass mod.   Senorita Cupcake is now friends with Kathleen because she smells nice… I mean.. umm….
    Posted by SenoritaCupcake[/QUOTE]

    That's more like it.
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    luvdncn90luvdncn90 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Being able to talk to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with about engagement and marriage should be the easiest thing in the world. And if it's not, you might want to take a step back and cool your jets. You shouldn't be scared to talk to him.
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    loopy82loopy82 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Geez, you girls shouldn't have been so mean. You scared her away. All she wants to do is get engaged. I mean c'mon now. They have already been together for 9 long months. They should be married by now.
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    orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    loopy's right! 9 months is forever!

    My advice is to keep giving him conflicting stories about what you want to do to keep him interested. Keep us posted.
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    DanielleZZDanielleZZ member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just tell him.  Like you said you have a very honest and open relationship, if you are ready for marriage than this is no exception.
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    amylo84amylo84 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    He is looking to buy a house with his brother?  That should be your #1 hint that maybe wedding bells aren't in his near future.  Although, you are proabably like sooo in luuuvv with himm.  But if it is true love, then it will be strong enough to wait until the time is right.  Love doesn't have a timeline.  Wanting to get married and being ready to get married are 2 TOTALLY different things. You have to be able to communicate your feelings about the relationship to him.   Trust me, FI and I were together almost 9 YEARS before we got engaged, will be almost 11 when we actually tie the knot.  I never knew I could be so comfortable with somebody.
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