Ugh...

deburnin

Warning the following article might make you queasy or extremely pissed off... I know it sure got to me. A FB friend of mine just posted a link to this article.

WTH is wrong with people? I don't get it. I've heard of a lot of crappy things in rape defenses over the years. There was one where the judge ruled that skinny jeans were too tight for the man to get off himself so the girl had to help and therefore didn't get raped. There was a girl who I went to school with who was told that she couldn't have been raped because she was dating the boy. Or the whole she was "asking for it" because of how she was dressed. Uh, no. No one asks to be raped. The whole thing just pisses me off.

/rant

bakes218

Wow, there are some seriously messed up people in this world.

SeaTea02

That is some BS. Why didn's she get a restraining order? Then he would have had to switch schools and she never would have had to see him. That whole thing makes little since to me.

stemms8810

That is scary that there are judges out there who will defend a rapist...Niiiice.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:38ddefc0-7565-49a7-8ece-dbb3137b971bPost:e5ab5055-c357-4830-8dca-7771a1fc46be">Ugh...</a>:
[QUOTE]Warning the following article might make you queasy or extremely pissed off... I know it sure got to me. A FB friend of mine just posted a link to  this article . WTH is wrong with people? I don't get it. I've heard of a lot of crappy things in rape defenses over the years. <strong>There was one where the judge ruled that skinny jeans were too tight for the man to get off himself so the girl had to help and therefore didn't get raped. </strong>There was a girl who I went to school with who was told that she couldn't have been raped because she was dating the boy. Or the whole she was "asking for it" because of how she was dressed. Uh, no. No one asks to be raped. The whole thing just pisses me off. /rant
Posted by deburnin[/QUOTE]
My friend told me about that case and it still makes me sick.
The thing is, if she can get the jeans off, then surely he can, too. How can the judge not see that simple logic? I mean, yes, we have all be the victim of tight jeans that take muscle to get on and off (And a lot of sucking in to get them buttoned) but in the end... we can get them on and off. So if we can do it, surely a stronger, determined rapist can.

loopy82

This article just upsets me. That is ridiculous. It does kind of seem to not make full sense in that everyon is so against the girl that got raped. If this article is in fact 100% accurate there is something just wrong with that school and judge. I did kind of wonder though why the girl would remain a cheerleader knowing she would have to see/ be around her rapist more.

I really don't like the argument that if you are dating you can't be raped. My personal opinion is that when sex ed is taught in school, they should also teach about date rape. Well maybe it is now, but I know it was not when I was in school (which I graduated 10 years ago.) My first sexual experience I was date raped, only I didn't know that at the time because as I had been under the understanding that getting raped was by someone you didn't know and was an overall abusive situation.  

leia1979

I always worry about a bias in reporting, but if this is completely true, that school's administrators are insensitive idiots. Since the boy did plead guilty (even if it was to assault), he should not be allowed to participate in extracurricular activities like sports.

It seems like a no-brainer to punish the criminal, not the victim.

deburnin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:38ddefc0-7565-49a7-8ece-dbb3137b971bPost:a520015a-580b-43f8-8947-19fa0d5109c1">Re: Ugh...</a>:
[QUOTE]I always worry about a bias in reporting, but if this is completely true, that school's administrators are insensitive idiots. Since the boy did plead guilty (even if it was to assault), he should not be allowed to participate in extracurricular activities like sports. <strong>It seems like a no-brainer to punish the criminal, not the victim.</strong>
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

<div>It seems like a no-brainer, but that's not how it goes down when rape is involved, especially when the rapist is a popular boy. It's more of why do you (the victim) want to ruin his life. For some reason, it's deemed as ok (by some people) to blame the victim when it comes to rape. And in HS, people like to think you cry rape because you regret giving up your virginity.</div>

bethsmiles

This really pisses me off. We already have a problem with getting rape victims to come forward. This girl did an incredibly brave thing, that many ADULTS, can't handle after such a horrific experience by naming her attacker and reporting him to the police.

Everything about this story just sickens me. Who the hell cares if the high school basketball team goes to state if to get there they ignore the pain of a teenage rape victim and make her rapist out to be a hero. The administration and coaches that allowed this to happen should be fired and the judge who supported their decision should be thrown off the bench.

But I do feel like something is missing in this story. I know rape is hard to prosecute but it seems like he pled guilty to a much lesser charge so I assume that the evidence wasn't exactly piled up against him. But even with just the assault (especially since the victim was another student) she shouldn't have been allowed on the basketball team. Also a restraining order should have been put in place. The boy should have switched schools.

Elle1036

I also feel like there's got to be something either missing from or incorrect in this article.  If the situation really is exactly as described, then...  I have no words.

purplepeopleeater11

And this is a clear example of why cases of rape aren't reported as often as they should be.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:38ddefc0-7565-49a7-8ece-dbb3137b971bPost:9494f5bb-42ce-4f6f-8170-fbb71548cd5e">Re: Ugh...</a>:
[QUOTE]I also feel like there's got to be something either missing from or incorrect in this article.  If the situation really is exactly as described, then...  I have no words.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

leia1979

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:38ddefc0-7565-49a7-8ece-dbb3137b971bPost:9cc7c167-bba1-4f1d-b5d0-235dcfefa5a5">Re: Ugh...</a>:
[QUOTE]... But I do feel like something is missing in this story. I know rape is hard to prosecute but it seems like he pled guilty to a much lesser charge so I assume that the evidence wasn't exactly piled up against him. But even with just the assault (especially since the victim was another student) she shouldn't have been allowed on the basketball team. Also a restraining order should have been put in place. The boy should have switched schools.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

FI said the same thing. Maybe there was a lack of concrete evidence. I'm sure when someone is traumatized like that, her first thought isn't necessarily "I should go to the hospital for a rape kit."

People get kicked off school sports teams for a lot less. Pleading guilty to assault (or any similar crime) should immediately equal no extra curricular activities, no matter how good you are.

And then the rest of the team can make your life hell for letting them down, in addition to the scorn you've already earned by attacking someone.

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ugh-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:38ddefc0-7565-49a7-8ece-dbb3137b971bPost:57b222f0-6758-48e0-82a7-4df22c6bbe84">Re: Ugh...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh... : FI said the same thing. Maybe there was a lack of concrete evidence. I'm sure when someone is traumatized like that, her first thought isn't necessarily "I should go to the hospital for a rape kit." People get kicked off school sports teams for a lot less.<strong> Pleading guilty to assault (or any similar crime) should immediately equal no extra curricular activities, no matter how good you are</strong>. And then the rest of the team can make your life hell for letting them down, in addition to the scorn you've already earned by attacking someone.
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

This, regardless of whether or not he was convicted of the original charge of rape due to lack of evidence, he still plead guilty to assault. What kind of message is it showing to other atheletes that he was kept on the basketball team. "Well, Johnny beat that girl and he still played on the team, it must be ok for me to do it." He still plead guilty, he should still be off the team.