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Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!

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Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!

  • tinajones1012tinajones1012 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Uggggh, this is getting annoying I don't know why I have to defend myself here. I KNOW we are getting married, and its not like I'm going behind his back to do all of this... we openly talk about what we want our wedding to be like. Its not that I think my room mates ring is ugly. Its pretty for her. But for me its too small and I don't think there is nything wrong with wanting a big ring. And as far as the one year goes, there are plenty of people who get married after less than a year together, so why is everyone jumping on my back? 
    SeaTea- thank you for posting the link. 
    wintek- No, im not. I'm from MS (originally), and live in MN, and FI is from Madison, WI area. We can't decide if we want the wedding in MS or WI and when I selected WI it put down Milwaukee. 
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  • wintek10wintek10 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:3a9f3b1a-e468-47ef-b974-a29d923d7eed">Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help! : Darn. I was hoping this was a ROOMATE WARRRR!
    Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Nope, sorry to disappoint! :-) Although that would be pretty hilarious! </div>
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:65da382d-e29b-456c-91e4-510e869eaf7b">Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Uggggh, this is getting annoying I don't know why I have to defend myself here. I KNOW we are getting married, and its not like I'm going behind his back to do all of this... we openly talk about what we want our wedding to be like. Its not that I think my room mates ring is ugly. Its pretty for her. But for me its too small and I don't think there is nything wrong with wanting a big ring. And as far as the one year goes, there are plenty of people who get married after less than a year together, so why is everyone jumping on my back?  SeaTea- thank you for posting the link.  wintek- No, im not. I'm from MS (originally), and live in MN, and FI is from Madison, WI area. We can't decide if we want the wedding in MS or WI and when I selected WI it put down Milwaukee. 
    Posted by tinajones1012[/QUOTE]

    1) Yes, people get married before 1 year.  You aren't getting married yet.  You don't plan to get married within the next 12-16 months.  So you will be waiting longer to get married than you have been dating him thus far.  At this point, talking about how you envision your wedding someday is great - but right now it's still hypothetical.  Yes, it sounds like it will probably happen.  But if you were to ask him straight to his face, "Are we engaged?" - what would his answer be?  If it's "Not yet", then that should be the same answer you should take to "Should I plan yet?". Again, talking about it together is great.  Actually planning is a little early.  Once his answer is "Yes", then you can start planning.

    2) Can he afford a big ring?  Will he have to go into debt?  Will you both be able to put a downpayment on a house, or at least a month's deposit on an apartment?  Will you be able to buy a car together?  Basically, will buying you this big ring compromise his financial stability?  If so, then it's a bad choice.  Think of your future together, not something shiny for your finger.  You can get something you'll love that won't break the bank - promise!

    3) The idea that you're perfectly okay with competing makes me shake my head.  This is NOT a race, this is NOT a competition!  You can BOTH win - by being happy with your OWN relationship!  Or you can both lose, by focusing on 'beating' the other.  Get over it and grow up.

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  • SeaTea02SeaTea02
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No one said you wouldn't get married. In all I have been here and lurked (prob since June) I have NEVER seen anyone on here tell another NEY poster that they are not going to marry their BF.

    Some mentioned it was a bit early to think about planning a wedding, which for some it might be and that was their opinion. Those people who do get married knowing one another less than a year are taking a huge risk at a step toward divorce and you are smart in waiting until 2012 to get married after you have been together three years.

    You asked for opinions and you got a very wide range of them. I do commend you on taking the criticism fairly well. The exchange between yourself and other posters has been civil.

    We have all been bitten by the pre-planning bug.  Don't scratch, it will only make it itch more.

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  • deburnindeburnin member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:b0e8b81d-2ee6-4b83-9503-15bbe1ec22db">Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My BF and I are having our one year anniversary. We have talked about marriage since about 3 months into our relationship, and are pretty much unofficially engaged. We want to get married in October of 2012. I know what dress I want, the engagement ring I want (its a pretty Tocari ring!!!), where we want it, my BM dresses, basically everything. I am just waiting for my ring!  My roommate just got engaged this summer to her BF after about 4.5 years of ebing together. My issue is that because she is engaged and I am not she thinks she is way better than me! She always tells me that its not smart to have my wedding planned out. But I say I know we will be together and I know what I want, so why wait? She also says that I shouldnt call my BF my hubby and his family my inlaws because thats a lie, but I do it because its easier than saying my BF's family or my BF. Am I right? <strong> I basically think she is jealous of me... </strong>I lived with my BF this summer for a bit and she has never lived with her BF. She tells me it doesnt matter if you live together before marriage but I think it does. Her parents are just old school and won't let them live together. I can't imagine NOT living together before getting married. And I showed her my ring a couple times and she said its pretty but that I can find the same thing cheaper at a local jewler,But her BF just got her some .5 carat stone (.75 total( and <strong>I think she is kind of jealous because the one I am getting is a 1.5 Tocari 3-diamond engagement ring.</strong>  I don't even think she and her BF love eachother. I know they say they are busy with school and work, but they only see eachother like 2 times a week. But they live about 15 minutes apart! I go home every weekend to see my hubby (we live about 2 hours apart while I am in school).  LOL, well basically this has turned into a rant about my crazy roommate, but how can I tell this bia to back off?????? THANKS! 
    Posted by tinajones1012[/QUOTE]

    <div>I think you need to get over yourself. Your roommate is the one that's engaged for one thing. I doubt she's jealous of your pre-planning dreams. For another, not everyone cares about the size of their diamond. And who are you to judge whether or not her and her BF love each other? Your post makes you come off like a massive snob...</div>
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  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:3a9f3b1a-e468-47ef-b974-a29d923d7eed">Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help! : Darn. I was hoping this was a ROOMATE WARRRR!
    Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]


    I did think the roommate sounded like someone who's been to NEY before.

    OP, don't plan before you're engaged. By the time you are engaged, you're going to be sick of wedding crap, and it will be a chore rather than something fun. Your roommate is right.<div>
    </div><div>And regarding "some 0.51 carat stone," is that perhaps what she wanted? Not everyone wants a ring that costs as much as a car. I don't even have a diamond! *gasp* Not only that, but I thought the 1-carat non-diamond was too big, so I went for a 0.75 carat stone instead.</div>

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  • wintek10wintek10 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:28f37b76-cbdb-4c08-95b6-dc7e2ad130df">Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help! : I did think the roommate sounded like someone who's been to NEY before. OP, don't plan before you're engaged. By the time you are engaged, you're going to be sick of wedding crap, and it will be a chore rather than something fun. Your roommate is right. And regarding "some 0.51 carat stone," is that perhaps what she wanted? Not everyone wants a ring that costs as much as a car. I don't even have a diamond! *gasp* Not only that, but I thought the 1-carat non-diamond was too big, so I went for a 0.75 carat stone instead.
    Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]

    <div>Are you referring to me  (as the room mate who has been on NEY) in this post? If you are, I think you may have me mistaken for someone else. I do not know this woman; I was just commenting on some similarities between the OP and my room mate, and that we are listed in the same area. If you were not, well then I am sorry for jumping the gun here and making assumptions! </div>
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  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Nope, not referring to you. I'm just making the comment that the OP's roommate has said many of the same things as the ladies on NEY tell those who are putting cart before horse.

    I can see how my statement was misinterpreted, though. 

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  • oceana919oceana919
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:65da382d-e29b-456c-91e4-510e869eaf7b">Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Uggggh, this is getting annoying I don't know why I have to defend myself here. I KNOW we are getting married, and its not like I'm going behind his back to do all of this... we openly talk about what we want our wedding to be like. Its not that I think my room mates ring is ugly. Its pretty for her. But for me its too small and I don't think there is nything wrong with wanting a big ring. And as far as the one year goes, there are plenty of people who get married after less than a year together, so why is everyone jumping on my back?  SeaTea- thank you for posting the link.  wintek- No, im not. I'm from MS (originally), and live in MN, and FI is from Madison, WI area. We can't decide if we want the wedding in MS or WI and when I selected WI it put down Milwaukee. 
    Posted by tinajones1012[/QUOTE]

    For starters...

    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/7/47fcbbf5-53a2-444e-97ff-cebf9829263b.large.bmp" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '47fcbbf5-53a2-444e-97ff-cebf9829263b', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/7/47fcbbf5-53a2-444e-97ff-cebf9829263b.medium.bmp" alt="" /></a>

    Not to mention...

    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/15/34ef2214-67a6-4314-8f5e-0df93e7dec67.large.bmp" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '34ef2214-67a6-4314-8f5e-0df93e7dec67', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/15/34ef2214-67a6-4314-8f5e-0df93e7dec67.medium.bmp" alt="" /></a>

    Lastly, <em>paragraphs are your friend. As are proper punctuation, capitalization and basic grammatical skills.</em>
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help![QUOTE]My BF and I are having our one year anniversary. We have talked about marriage since about 3 months into our relationship, and are pretty much unofficially engaged. [/QUOTE] No such thing. You’re engaged or you’re not. An engagement is an agreement to get married...not a big show with a ring. [QUOTE] We want to get married in October of 2012. I know what dress I want, the engagement ring I want (its a pretty Tocari ring!!!), where we want it, my BM dresses, basically everything. I am just waiting for my ring.[/QUOTE] It's nice to dream, isn’t it? [QUOTE]My roommate just got engaged this summer to her BF after about 4.5 years of ebing together. [/QUOTE] Congratulations to her! [QUOTE]My issue is that because she is engaged and I am not she thinks she is way better than me! [/QUOTE] Did she tell you this? Cause I'd smack a bitch. [QUOTE]She always tells me that its not smart to have my wedding planned out. But I say I know we will be together and I know what I want, so why wait? [/QUOTE] She's a smart lady. You're tastes will change. Stop planning. Stop being so foolish and whiny. [QUOTE] She also says that I shouldnt call my BF my hubby and his family my inlaws because thats a lie, but I do it because its easier than saying my BF's family or my BF. Am I right?[/QUOTE] Nope. She's right. You're wrong. He's your boyfriend and they're your boyfriend's family not your in laws. [QUOTE]I basically think she is jealous of me[/QUOTE] Why? She's the one with the ring. [QUOTE]... I lived with my BF this summer for a bit and she has never lived with her BF. She tells me it doesnt matter if you live together before marriage but I think it does. Her parents are just old school and won't let them live together. I can't imagine NOT living together before getting married. And I showed her my ring a couple times and she said its pretty but that I can find the same thing cheaper at a local jewler[/QUOTE] Not your ring. You don't own it. And she's right. You probably can. Local jewellers can usually re-create something for much less. [QUOTE],But her BF just got her some .5 carat stone (.75 total( and I think she is kind of jealous because the one I am getting is a 1.5 Tocari 3-diamond engagement ring. [/QUOTE] My ring is only .8 ct. I love it. It's beautiful. Size doesn't matter. It's the symbolism and who it's from that matter. Also it's Tacori. [QUOTE]I don't even think she and her BF love eachother. I know they say they are busy with school and work, but they only see eachother like 2 times a week. But they live about 15 minutes apart! [/QUOTE] Loving someone doesn't mean crushing them with your over-bearing presence every day. I only see FBD at night after work...does that mean we don’t love each other because we don't spend all day together? Nope. Just means we have lives. [QUOTE]I go home every weekend to see my hubby[/QUOTE] He's your boyfriend. Try again. [QUOTE] (we live about 2 hours apart while I am in school. LOL, well basically this has turned into a rant about my crazy roommate, but how can I tell this bia to back off?????? THANKS!& Posted by tinajones1012[/QUOTE] I think you're the crazy one. She seems pretty normal.

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  • noelle24noelle24
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Wow, I think she pulled out every troll cliche in the book (planning before engaged, materialistic about ring size, calling BF hubby, unofficially engaged.... I lost count).

    There's too much in here for me to respond to, but OP, if you AREN'T a troll, your roommate is RIGHT, in EVERY way.  You are WRONG.  I think you need to look in  a mirror when you tell a bia to back off...

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  • oceana919oceana919
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:b0e8b81d-2ee6-4b83-9503-15bbe1ec22db">Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My BF and I are having our one year anniversary. We have talked about marriage since about 3 months into our relationship, and are pretty much unofficially engaged.

    <strong>No. You're dating. Either you are engaged, or you're not engaged. There is no such thing as "unofficially engaged". Kind like there's no such thing as "unofficially pregnant", or "unofficially dead." Or "unofficially divorced", for that matter.

    My FI and I started talking marriage about three months in as well. We were engaged a year later. Until that point, I was his <em>girlfriend. </em>
    </strong>
    We want to get married in October of 2012. I know what dress I want, the engagement ring I want (its a pretty Tocari ring!!!), where we want it, my BM dresses, basically everything. I am just waiting for my ring! 

    <strong>It is lovely to dream, but frankly, that's all it is - dreaming. If you actually go to the extent of planning your entire wedding before you're actually, "officially" engaged, you're totally robbing yourself of the experience and giving the impressing to everyone around you that you are bat sh*t crazy.</strong>

    My roommate just got engaged this summer to her BF after about 4.5 years of ebing together. My issue is that because she is engaged and I am not she thinks she is way better than me!

    <strong>I'm sorry, but shouldn't you be...oh, I don't know...<em>happy</em> for your friend, instead of finger snapping and bitching about how she's just a jealous?</strong>

    She always tells me that its not smart to have my wedding planned out. But I say I know we will be together and I know what I want, so why wait?

    <strong>She's right, you shouldn't. THINGS WILL CHANGE. Believe me, they do. What you think you want now will change once you begin to factor in your BF's wishes, and your family's wishes, and the parameters of time and budget, into your fairytale fantasy.</strong>

    She also says that I shouldnt call my BF my hubby and his family my inlaws because thats a lie, but I do it because its easier than saying my BF's family or my BF. Am I right? 

    <strong>No, you're wrong. Your BF is your boyfriend, and his family is your boyfriend's family. Until you actually sign a legal contract, that is what they are. Period.</strong>

    I basically think she is jealous of me...

    <strong>Actually, cupcake, pretty sure <em>you</em> are the one who is jealous. This entire post reeks of jealousy and temper tantrum.</strong>

    I lived with my BF this summer for a bit and she has never lived with her BF. She tells me it doesnt matter if you live together before marriage but I think it does. Her parents are just old school and won't let them live together. I can't imagine NOT living together before getting married.

    <strong>You may feel that way, but not every person on the planet does. Just because she doesn't see things your way does not make her any more or less ready for marriage than you.

    BTW, what gave you the idea that your friend has no capability to think for herself? Did you ever consider that perhaps there are moral/religious/economical reasons behind her decision not to live together prior to marriage. There are girls on this board that are happily married that did not live together prior to marriage. </strong>

    And I showed her my ring a couple times and she said its pretty but that I can find the same thing cheaper at a local jewler,

    <strong>1.) It's not your ring until you actually purchase it. Period.
    </strong>
    <strong>2.) She's absolutely right. It's very probable that by going through a local/private jeweler or a company that does not use a middle man (such as Blue Nile, etc.), you can score a similar, if not identical, ring at a much more affordable rate.

    3.) A smaller price tag =/= cheap. A smaller price tag = a responsible, adult decision.</strong>

    But her BF just got her some .5 carat stone

    <strong>I'm sorry, but there are some girls on this board that are perfectly satisfied and content with gorgeous 0.5 carat stones. Myself included.</strong>

    I think she is kind of jealous because the one I am getting is a 1.5 Tocari 3-diamond engagement ring. 

    <strong>Why should she be jealous? She's got a diamond ring, and you've got a made-up term to define your relationship.

    A bigger carat stone or a namebrand ring doesn't make the ring special. It just makes it expensive. The meaning/symbolism/love behind the gesture that the bling is associated with is what makes it special.
    </strong>
    I don't even think she and her BF love eachother. I know they say they are busy with school and work, but they only see eachother like 2 times a week. But they live about 15 minutes apart!

    <strong>Unless you are privy to their private relationship, you have no right to judge whether or not they truly love each other, merely based on the amount of time they spend together.

    My FI and I live together. Between two full time jobs (each), two full time lab schedules, graduate courseloads, wedding planning and everyday life, I think we spend a total of about 10-12 hours together on any given week. We make the most of that time, and we undoubtably love each other.
    </strong>
    I go home every weekend to see my hubby (we live about 2 hours apart while I am in school). 

    <strong>Congrats, that's a sweet commitment. That doesn't necessarily mean you love your BF any more or less than your friend or I love our FIs. Hell, I'd drive two hours to see U2, and I don't love them as much as my FI.</strong>

    LOL, well basically this has turned into a rant about my crazy roommate, but how can I tell this bia to back off?????? THANKS! 

    <strong>Frankly, you need to back off and chillax. Gain some maturity and insight, and be genuinely happy for your friend, instead of turning into a jealous whiny brat. I'm sure you'd appreciate the same when your time comes, wouldn't you?</strong>

    Posted by tinajones1012[/QUOTE]
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  • CASK85CASK85 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    ZOMG!! You guys need to stop being so critical of this girl -- she is so totally not in the wrong and should be excited to have found her hubby!  Plan that wedding, girl!  

    ::stops laughing hysterically::

    What I actually meant to say was Paige and Oceana FTW!! I know I'm tardy to the party, but this girl is the definition of BSC.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Dude, this is total MUD.  For realz.
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  • loves2shop4shoesloves2shop4shoes member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Paige and Oceana FTW!



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  • whereyatwhereyat
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    On the (off) chance you're not a troll, pls listen to Paige, Oceana, and others.  These ladies give good advice, you just have to be receptive to hearing it.
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:a3415048-16a9-415a-80c9-652aba645c24">Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]On the (off) chance you're not a troll, pls listen to Paige, Oceana, and others.  These ladies give good advice, you just have to be receptive to hearing it.
    Posted by whereyat[/QUOTE]

    <div>I like you, new kid.  Please stick around and play.</div><div>
    </div><div>Also, what's up with the name?  We say "Where ya'at, by?!"  When we're asking people where they are, or "Whadda at?!" When we want to know what they're doin'. That's what your s/n reminds me of. </div>

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  • figment23figment23 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:65da382d-e29b-456c-91e4-510e869eaf7b">Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Uggggh, this is getting annoying I don't know why I have to defend myself here. I KNOW we are getting married, and its not like I'm going behind his back to do all of this... we openly talk about what we want our wedding to be like. Its not that I think my room mates ring is ugly. Its pretty for her. But for me its too small and I don't think there is nything wrong with wanting a big ring.
    Posted by tinajones1012[/QUOTE]

    1. Have you talked about actually BEING married as opposed to GETTING married? My now FI and I talked about GETTING married a lot, even from the beginning but when we started talking about BEING married, buying a house, having kids, whether we wanted a joint checking account, that's when I knew we would actually BE married someday.

    A MARRIAGE is about a whole lot more than a WEDDING.

    2. There is something wrong with a big ring if that is not what he picks for you and you are a brat because it's not bigger than your roommate's. Despite all the advertising, the size of the ring doesn't actually tell you how much he loves you. Let him know what you like, but I seriously doubt your roommate is jealous of your nonexistent diamond and is perfectly fine with her very existent one, and probably her future husband too.

    3. He isn't your hubby, and they are not your in laws, and I would stow both monikers for the holiday season less you full advertise your BSC gene to your entire future extended family.
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  • mizzicantwaitmizzicantwait member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    WOW!!!! First off I NEED to say oceana got this right.. no one can say it better!
    Another thing... just in case you are a bit challenged in the math area.. but as far as I know.... 0.5 carat > NO carat
    What type of job does your bf have anyway that you ASSUME he can afford a 1.5 carat ring. Plus 0.5 carat is nothing to hate one... haven't you learned for Cs for diamonds. Carat is not the only thing that matters. 
    Second the size of the diamond or whichever stone you choose on using is not what defines your relationship.
    I have a 0.5 carat ring that I absolutely love! So shut it! 
    Unofficially engaged does not exist.. sorry to burst your bubble. At age 22, how many other SERIOUS LTR could you possibly have had? (I am 22 too and the only serious LTR I have had is with my FI) 
    Did you just make this account to say that?! 
    Until you get that ring anything he has said to you regarding the "wedding" is just words. YOU can book your venue and buy your dress.. knock yourself out... but unless he signs a contract, gives you the ring and talks about getting married... you might just end up marrying yourself. 
    and just to end this.. you are the bia that needs to back off (your words not mine) 
    Report Reply
  • MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_unofficial-engagement-roommate-issue-need?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:3aab488c-2563-45b5-abba-7a3a45d92de6Post:e2260044-7408-4f78-89b2-34b1c263d77b">Re: Unofficial Engagement and Roommate Issue.. Need help!</a>:
    [QUOTE]WOW!!!! First off I NEED to say oceana got this right.. no one can say it better! Another thing... just in case you are a bit challenged in the math area.. but as far as I know.... 0.5 carat /> NO carat What type of job does your bf have anyway that you ASSUME he can afford a 1.5 carat ring. Plus 0.5 carat is nothing to hate one... haven't you learned for Cs for diamonds. Carat is not the only thing that matters.  Second the size of the diamond or whichever stone you choose on using is not what defines your relationship. I have a 0.5 carat ring that I absolutely love! So shut it!  Unofficially engaged does not exist.. sorry to burst your bubble. At age 22, how many other SERIOUS LTR could you possibly have had? (I am 22 too and the only serious LTR I have had is with my FI)  Did you just make this account to say that?!  <strong>Until you get that ring anything he has said to you regarding the "wedding" is just words. YOU can book your venue and buy your dress.. knock yourself out... but unless he signs a contract, gives you the ring and talks about getting married... you might just end up marrying yourself.</strong>  and just to end this.. you are the bia that needs to back off (your words not mine) 
    Posted by mizzicantwait[/QUOTE]

    I like you.
    Report Reply
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