Last night FI got into a total blow up fight with his parents regarding our wedding budget and our reception plans. I unfortunately was there and I ended up in tears.
First, FFIL outright says that he's "not looking forward to contributing" to the wedding, but he's going to do it anyway. He then again mentioned that my mother should be contributing because the bride's family has an obligation to pay for everything because "that's how it's done". He accuses my mother of having a problem with FI and says he knows she's "not destitute". He and my FMIL made a huge point of saying how they've welcomed me with open arms and they love me like their own, but the same does not seem to apply with my side of the family (which is not true).
They want me to call my mother and outright ask her if she plans on contributing and if she doesn't contribute, he doesn't want to see her at the wedding, which really hurt me to hear. "Obviously, I can't ban her from the wedding because she's your mother, but if I had the option, I would," he said. My grandparents are already giving a great sum, why should it matter if my mother contributes? But I felt so bullied and ganged up on (by the way, FI agrees with his father on this).
Then, FFIL starts in on how he can't believe we're not planning on serving alcohol. "Have you ever been to a wedding where there wasn't alcohol?" He said it was "rude" not to have alcohol and guests "expect it". He kept harping on this point the entire night. He also mentioned that he hated the idea of us not having a DJ and using an iPod instead. He said there are certain things about weddings that happen no matter what, because that's how it always is.
Prior to this meeting, he asked us to budget everything down to the dollar, but we had to guess on some things because frankly, we had no clue. So I estimated $600 for my dress, veil and alterations (I'm short and chubby with big boobs, the dress is going to need alterations no matter where I get it). He said, "You don't need that much for a dress, [FSIL]'s dress was less than $100."
I wanted to yell, Well, guess what? FSIL is tall and skinny and got married on a f*cking beach in the tropics, so of course her dress was less! But all I said was that it was an estimate and it will more than likely be less than that.
It was awful. I had to excuse myself so I could cry in the bathroom and I heard FI yelling at his father about how this is our wedding and we were trying to be budget concious and why couldn't he respect that? FI stood up, said, "We're going home" and we left. I cried the entire way home and said I didn't want a wedding anymore and FI said, "Don't be silly."
Guys, I have no clue what to do. Anyone have any kind words or advice for me?
170 Invited (holy crap!)
98 are coming to party!
29 have other plans
43 need to respond!
"Bside - You're just too sexy for your own good" ~ leia1979
"True love = I still love you even though we hang out all the time and most other people would be tired of each other already" ~ flygirlmeg