Ring question

kris0614

Okay I need some honest opinions. I am not yet engaged but my boyfriend and I are very serious and we've put money down on the place we want our wedding to take place next Oct. We've made our list and I've even bought my dress. To give you a back story on us...we're both starting over in a sense and never in our lives though we would find a love like this. My boyfriend went through a horrific event about a year before we met that ruined him financially. He is really stressing out about the ring because he wants me to have exactly what I want. I would never in a million years ask him to go into debt for me. I don't have an issue with going the simulated route for now. He is not so sure. Honestly, I dont' care if the ring cost $10 but I do want one for the symbol of what it stands for. What does everyone think of wearing a simulated ring or would you go without? Thanks!!!

HobokensFury

I think you should do whatever makes you happy.  If a ring from Claire's will make you happy then do it!

loves2shop4shoes

Ok...first of all, you don't need a ring to be engaged.  Seeing as you have a date, a venue, and a dress, I think you fall into that category.

As for a ring, you can get a lab created diamond for less money.  You can also get moissanite or another precious gemstone.  Also, if you really wanted to, you could look into a diamond whose 4C's are not so stellar. 

My mom's diamond was I3, I think.  It had many visible inclusions.  I'd be shocked if my dad paid more than $500 for it.  You could also get one that's lower on the color scale.  Or you should just get a smaller stone.  There's no reason you NEED a ROCK.  I've seen some really stunning engagement rings that were 0.3 or 0.4 carat.

It all depends on what you're willing to sacrifice.  (And trust me, unless they've got a diamond that costs tens of thousands, most people sacrificed at least a LITTLE bit on something.)

Ana_2985

I don't think it matters if she calls herself engaged or not.  She's clearly an adult making decisions with her BF.  It's not like she got all over-eager the first time marriage was mentioned, has a wedding planned, and is impatiently waiting for the ring her BF hadn't planned on getting yet.  But anyway...

I agree with you, the ring isn't most important and you don't need it, but I really like having a physical reminder of our commitment/love.  If I were you, I would pick out a nice setting that you really love and use a simulated diamond, synthetic diamond, or other affordable gemstone for now.  Late on in life when you are more financially stable, you can get a diamond.  This is what I would choose because I'm sentimental and I wouldn't want a completely different ring than the one my FI proposed with.  I'd want the original setting at least.

forrma7

i think it's very considerate of you to be wary of your BFs financial situation. 

when my FI and I were picking out rings, we fell in love with a stone and put money on it, then we started to pick out bands. i found one by tacori that was spectacular, but with all the customizations we would have to get on it (pear shaped stone), the bill was waayyyyy over his budget. he would never say no to me, but i knew that it was hurting him, so we went back the next day, and picked out a very simple band that was a lotttt less that the tacori one.

my point is, have him make a firm decision about a budget, go to the jeweler, and be honest. stay within your means, and then you won't have to deal with the heartbreak later. i wouldn't advise dreaming up with you want in your head, then trying to find that within your price budget.

if you want a real diamond, get one, but get one you can afford. there are many affordable rings out there, but you have to know what price point you're working with.

so start with the money first, then pick a ring.

good luck!!

Beads921

My suggestion would be to first set a reasonable budget, like forrma said. Before you can really decide what you can get/what you even want, you need to know what you can spend.

I feel like you might feel silly with a $10 Claire's ring - I know I would, and I'd probably forgo a ring if that was going to be the case, but that's just me.

Within your budget, you might be able to pick out a nice setting, and then get a CZ or some other cheap stone in place of the diamond (still doesn't have to be huge!), or even pick out a smaller/lower quality diamond ring (I have a $250 ring that I wear on my ring finger [promise ring *gag* I hate that term] and I'm forever being asked if I'm engaged...something like that might be nice and less likely to break the bank). If you go the CZ route (or something similar) you can always switch out the stone later and put a real diamond in when you can afford it. You'd still have the same ring, the one he proposed with, just upgraded kind of.  

Whatever you do, make sure you are comfortable with it, and it is within everybody's financial means.

lindsayrae1986

if you're into vintage styles, check out estate sales, ebay, etc.  you can get a beautiful ring that's unique, but not overpriced.  check out etsy.com for rings.  and don't just look in the "engagement" ring section.  look at ALL the rings...  you can find beautiful rings in the fashion section or in the promise ring section.

http://www.zales.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2109181

http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/CategoryProductsView?storeId=10101&catalogId=10001&langId=-1&categoryId=20789&topCatId=15064&bcCatIds=15064.20789&N=0&Ne=1&Ntk=Category&Ntt=20789

http://www.etsy.com/listing/57789052/rustic-14k-gold-fill-renaissance-wedding?ref=cat3_gallery_5

http://www.etsy.com/listing/58326829/sterling-silver-wedding-twig-rings-set?ref=cat3_gallery_35

http://www.etsy.com/listing/56656550/hammered-14k-white-gold-wedding-band-set?ref=cat3_gallery_21

http://www.etsy.com/listing/55310156/pearls-of-alice-collection-oval?ref=cat3_gallery_37

http://www.etsy.com/listing/45260789/art-deco-antique-vintage-wedding-band?ref=cat3_gallery_16

http://www.etsy.com/listing/36916729/stacked-urban-twist-custom?ref=v1_other_1

if you don't mind, get a ring that won't "hurt" you financially right now and save up for one later.  and if you do enjoy unique and/or vintage styles, you can find a lot of options.  however, if you want a traditional looking engagement ring, try estate sales, ebay, classifieds in your newspaper, promise rings, fashion rings, etsy...  good luck! 

CWill16

Just because it is a diamond or a nice ring doesn't mean it has to be expensive.

I have a promise ring with two 1/8 ct. diamonds, but they each look more like a 1/4ct. because of the bypass setting. This ring was about $400 with insurance from our local jeweler.

The ring my bf and I have decided on is an enhanced moissanite 1ct. center stone ($400) with a setting that includes diamonds (about $600).

Decide on a budget and see what works. I loved working with moissaniteco.com

calindi

Check out Overstock.com - they've got some very pretty rings for a low cost.  You can always get a small diamond with a simple band - you can upgrade either or both later if you're both okay with that.

Some I found that were nice (click on the name to see them):

White Sapphire ring
Three diamond setting
Solitaire

kris0614

thanks for all the responses....

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4b3a5ac8-1a44-479a-a152-63f368caf9d7Post:5605dfab-c7f8-46f0-b3d2-662102971812">Ring question</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay I need some honest opinions. I am not yet engaged but my boyfriend and I are very serious and we've put money down on the place we want our wedding to take place next Oct. We've made our list and I've even bought my dress. To give you a back story on us...we're both starting over in a sense and never in our lives though we would find a love like this. My boyfriend went through a horrific event about a year before we met that ruined him financially. He is really stressing out about the ring because he wants me to have exactly what I want. I would never in a million years ask him to go into debt for me. I don't have an issue with going the simulated route for now. He is not so sure. Honestly, I dont' care if the ring cost $10 but<strong> I do want one for the symbol of what it stands for.</strong> What does everyone think of wearing a simulated ring or would you go without? Thanks!!!
Posted by kris0614[/QUOTE]

I hate to be nitpicky, but "engaged" really is just an agreement or pledge, and the ring is symbolic. But I think you understand that already.

E-rings definitely do not have to be diamonds or expensive. Lots of girls get sim rings, and I can also understand wanting one for the symbol- because again, that's really all an e-ring is, a symbol of your engagement. There's no rule that it has to be a diamond, or even a ring with stones (although without stones it will admittedly look like a wedding band if it's just a really plain band).

lindsayrae1986

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4b3a5ac8-1a44-479a-a152-63f368caf9d7Post:79239bfa-ebf5-42c0-932e-8d029e8d71fd">Re: Ring question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Ring question : I hate to be nitpicky, but "engaged" really is just an agreement or pledge, and the ring is symbolic. But I think you understand that already. E-rings definitely do not have to be diamonds or expensive. Lots of girls get sim rings, and I can also understand wanting one for the symbol- because again, that's really all an e-ring is, a symbol of your engagement. There's no rule that it has to be a diamond, or even a ring with stones (although without stones it will admittedly look like a wedding band if it's just a really plain band).
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

from what i understand, i think the "symbol of what it stands for" means a physical representation of the agreement of engagement.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4b3a5ac8-1a44-479a-a152-63f368caf9d7Post:c237a90e-e6d2-4dc9-973f-57c6fd03d06e">Re: Ring question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring question : from what i understand, i think the "symbol of what it stands for" means a physical representation of the agreement of engagement.
Posted by lindsayrae1986[/QUOTE]

That's what I was saying, and what I was saying the OP also understood.

CWill16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4b3a5ac8-1a44-479a-a152-63f368caf9d7Post:79239bfa-ebf5-42c0-932e-8d029e8d71fd">Re: Ring question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Ring question : <strong>I hate to be nitpicky, but "engaged" really is just an agreement or pledge, and the ring is symbolic</strong>. But I think you understand that already. E-rings definitely do not have to be diamonds or expensive. Lots of girls get sim rings, and I can also understand wanting one for the symbol- because again, that's really all an e-ring is, a symbol of your engagement. There's no rule that it has to be a diamond, or even a ring with stones (although without stones it will admittedly look like a wedding band if it's just a really plain band).
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]


I think we are all getting tired of saying this over and over again to new posters, so I just bypassed it. I am tempted to save a generic paragraph in a word document.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4b3a5ac8-1a44-479a-a152-63f368caf9d7Post:7d8df44f-ecf9-446b-956a-1c9a35971662">Re: Ring question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring question : I think we are all getting tired of saying this over and over again to new posters, so I just bypassed it. I am tempted to save a generic paragraph in a word document.
Posted by CWill16[/QUOTE]

Meh, it's going to keep happening but I honestly think the OP might understand this. I just threw it in there for any lurkers or people who might read this later really.

EDIT: Oh and yes, I always feel like I need a word document to C&P from.

artbyallie

My fiancé insisted on buying white gold, but I would have been okay with sterling silver. These are the two shops I was looking at. The first features precious/semiprecious stones in sterling; the second is where he ended up finding and purchasing my ring and focuses more on gold (yellow, white, and rose). Both have excellent prices, IMO, and even sterling is durable enough to be worn every day.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/cavaliercreations

http://www.etsy.com/shop/mastergoldcraft

mellimel19

artbyallie, I LOVE all the jewelry in your second link! Thanks for sharing!

lindsayrae1986

very pretty arty!

artbyallie

You're welcome! The seller will set the stones in any setting/color/size you like as well, I'm sooo happy with mine!

ki10

I'm a big fan of saving money, but I think you do need to make sure you're getting quality for something you want to keep forever. I would recommend going with nontraditional but extremely strong materials like sapphire over diamond (sapphires are the second hardest precious stone and are very durable) and titanium or tungsten for the metal. Yes, they're making small, feminine rings in those materials now. They save a LOT of money, depending on where you purchase them, but won't corrode or get broken like the (still perfectly awesome, but not durable) Cracker Jack ring.