Not Engaged Yet

Hi, I'm new here.

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Re: Hi, I'm new here.

  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hi-im-new-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:6a465560-f67c-442a-b698-15512f9358daPost:3501670c-2e3d-4532-b96c-0727f8ab9490">Re: Hi, I'm new here.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well. He refers to me as family, his family refers to me as family, last week he put a $500 deposit on the venue we've talked about, and is getting a Family Share Plan on Verizon for me and him now that Verizon has the iPhone (his idea). So I'm going with the "engaged but no ring yet" phrase. :-)
    Posted by kevinandkerry2011[/QUOTE]

    We've considered each other "family" for awhile now - we live together, we have joint bank accounts, we have shared a Verizon family plan for 2 years now, are on the same car insurance plan, he's even on my company's dental insurance as my 'domestic partner'...  and yet we're still not engaged.   I call it "being in a serious committed relationship".  Or "that guy who I sleep next to who steals my covers".

    If your guy is ready to start putting money down for venues, I think it's time to talk about what you both need to consider yourselves "engaged".  Do you both want him to propose? What's he waiting for, if he's got the money to already deposit for a venue?

    I think it's kind of premature to put down money on a venue that you "talked about" - do you know your budget?  Your guest list?  Those are kind of the most important things, and it's kind of hard to do those things when you're not engaged.  Your venue has to be chosen with your budget and guest list in mind.

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    Anniversary

  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We went to see BFs nephew last night, Did I mention that? 

    BF's sister-in-law refered to me as 'Aunt Holly'.  So, I bought him a onsie that says 'I like hanging with my Aunt'.

    BFs Mom calls me her someday-future daughter-in-law.

    BF is still my BF.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yes actually, we do know our budget and have talked guest list.

    I think we know where we're at - we talked a lot after I posted the original thing, so I think I'm good now. :-)
  • mana8503mana8503 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm in my BF's calling circle, does that count?!
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    Amanda's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (2012 shelf)
  • edited December 2011
    Being on the same phone plan is a huge committment in my mind. My ex and I were on a family share plan. Once we broke up, I didn't want to pay the $175 to break the plan, so we stayed on the same phone plan for like a year. It was the worst. He said he would pay his portion, but he never did. I should have paid the $175 and removed him. The best day ever was when I disconnected his phone, without telling him :) If he had paid his portion of the bill, I would have been willing to communicate with him that our contract was up.
    ~~December 3, 2011~~
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hi-im-new-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:6a465560-f67c-442a-b698-15512f9358daPost:cd01cf03-c65f-48d4-86a8-87cc9610a5ff">Re: Hi, I'm new here.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes actually, we do know our budget and have talked guest list. I think we know where we're at - we talked a lot after I posted the original thing, so I think I'm good now. :-)
    Posted by kevinandkerry2011[/QUOTE]

    Another concern that is easily solved by the advice "Talk to him, not us".  It's generally good advice. 

    Glad you're on the same page - now don't rush, k?  Enjoy this time - it's exciting in its own right!  I know, I'm right there with you - I can get impatient at times, but overall I am just loving every day I have with him.  He makes me smile.

    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hi-im-new-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:6a465560-f67c-442a-b698-15512f9358daPost:2eb2690c-b986-478f-84fc-5b89ba727c7b">Re: Hi, I'm new here.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Being on the same phone plan is a huge committment in my mind. My ex and I were on a family share plan. Once we broke up, I didn't want to pay the $175 to break the plan, so we stayed on the same phone plan for like a year. It was the worst. He said he would pay his portion, but he never did. I should have paid the $175 and removed him. The best day ever was when I disconnected his phone, without telling him :) If he had paid his portion of the bill, I would have been willing to communicate with him that our contract was up.
    Posted by Ember01[/QUOTE]

    The bigger commitment for me was car insurance - he can cancel it without telling me (since it's through USAA, the military car insurance, so I can't be on a policy unless it's joint) and I'd be SOL if I got in an accident.  When we signed the contract, the guy warned me about it and I gotta say, it made me realize what a big step it actually was.  That's a lot of trust!

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    Anniversary

  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Cali, I sold my car last March and have been in ZERO rush to buy another.

    BF drives his company van during the day, and I drive his Jeep.  If something happened, I wouldn't have wheels at all...lol.
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