Poll: Contributing to your ring

classyashley918

Hi all,

Poll question for you: would you ever contribute money to your own engagement ring?

Although I will love anything BF gets me, I have fallen in love with a Kirk Kara ring that is above what BF wants to spend. I make more money than BF and have a bit of inheretance money such that I could afford the ring or could make up the difference between what BF wants to spend and the price of the ring.

Before I make the suggestion to BF I want to get opinions on this. I don't want to offend him, but if I can afford what I want, why should I not get it?

babybchbum

By you contributing to what you want may take away the sentimental value your BF was hoping for. He may have something else in mind and wants to completely blow you away with his choice.

If you are truly in love with the ring why not considering it for a right hand ring after the wedding or later on when he can afford it and might want to upgrade the stone or replace your inital ring.

sapphirebaby926

I contributed to my e-ring but mostly because we already had joint accounts. Like babybchbum said it may take away from some of the sentimental value he was looking for. Just talk to your BF about it and see what he thinks about it.

Have you thought about getting something custom designed that is a similar style to the one you like? It may be an option to keep the price of the ring in the range he feels comfortable paying

desertsun

Personally, I don't think designer rings like Kirk Kara or Tacori are worth the price. Local jewelers can often do a custom ring that looks similar but costs less. Why not give your BF a picture of the ring you love and trust him to find something you will love just as much?

jeanacorina

We already had a joint account, so it was kind of moot- the money was all mish-mashed in the same place.

That said, this is something only you and your BF can decide. We can't tell you whether he'd be okay with you contributing. However, the suggestions to either get a custom ring similar to the designer one, or to let him get something similar but cheaper are both very good ideas.

Do some ring research and talk to your BF.

**Mutley**

Talk to him about it.  No one here can tell you what your bf might be comfortable with.  If the two of you go on to get engaged and then married, it will only be the first of MANY conversations about money.  It is a subject you need to be comfortable talking to him about. 

I would keep yourself open to the possibility that he may want to do this on his own, and may not want any help financially.  If that is the case, you need to ask yourself what is more important (a ring or his feelings.)

notquiteblushing

I didn't for mine but I don't think there's anything wrong if you choose to do that.  It depends on a lot of things.  We did not live together or have any joint accounts before we got engaged.  Helll we live together now and still have mostly separate finances but I think if you guys are already sharing finances then like PPs said it's not a big deal to take into account your income when selecting a ring.  Do what works for you.

Hazel_B

I think it depends on what kind of individuals you are and what kind of couple you are.

I know for me, my BF has no problem splitting costs for things. However, deep down he is really traditional and probably wouldn't want me to contribute money for a ring.

And, pps have a point if you are financial entwined already it'd be easier to suggest that.

mromag1

I had a family setting and my Fi had an heirloom diamond so my ering is a contribution of both sides

swim1011

I paid for half of my ring, and it didn't decrease the sentimentality of it. At all.  It was a lot more than we were planning on spending (over $1500 more, in fact), but there was no way I was going to leave the jewelry store without it!  It wasn't a designer ring, though.  I agree with the PPs- go see if a local jeweler can design it, possibly for a lot cheaper than the one you want.

The hardest part was waiting 6 months for him to propose, bc the exact timing and place of the proposal were a complete surprise. 

honeybee724

I suggested, he refused.  He eventually agreed to let me buy our furniture on my own instead of splitting the cost like we had originally decided.