Not Engaged Yet

new here - hey ya'll

Just wanted to say hi. I occasionally lurk here.  I'm not engaged yet, but my bf and i have had  the serious talk about marriage.  I would being lying if i said i havent given my wedding any thought, but im definitely not planning it without a ring. 

i seem to be getting pressure from married friends and neighbors to get hurry up and get married.  They like my bf so much, they dont see why we arent just getting on with it, but it hasnt even been a year. i'm happy to enjoy our time togethe as bf/gf.  i know our time will come, so i'm not too worried.  i poke around these boards sometimes just seeing whats out there in the wedding world.  honestly, the more i read about some of these horror stories on the other boards, the less of a wedding i want! :-)  we'll see though. 
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Re: new here - hey ya'll

  • Hi Mindy! Welcome. 

    It sounds like you have a good approach to things. It's frustrating when all the pressure of your loved ones is on you taking a step that you may not be ready for or in a place to take. Just keep reminding them that you and bf are doing what's best for you guys right now and that they should be happy with that. 

    So, tell me more about yourself:

    Did you go to/are you in college? Where?
    Favorite place you've traveled?
    Who's your favorite poster?
    --------------------------------------------------------------


     
    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • MindyerbizMindyerbiz member
    Knottie Warrior 10 Comments
    edited October 2012
    I live in Philadelphia.  I dont really have a favorite poster, but i like reading some of the funny comments you folks give.  It also makes me laugh when i see how seriously some people take the little details of their weddings. I guess im just not like that. I know im not wedding planning yet, but i can't imagine ill be the girl who agonizes over matching cake colors to her invitations.  haha. ive been a bridesmaid several times and i have seen my friends turn into bridezillas. I really dont want to be like that.

    I like just learning from other people's mistakes on these boards.  It's a real eye opener to see what folks go through for their perfect day. 
  • Welcome Mindy! You sound very grounded and realistic...which is awesome. FI and I were together for more than 5 years before he proposed, so I understand how it is when friends and family are constantly asking why you're not getting married yet. If you are happy with where you and your guy are at then just tell them that. That's all they really need to know!

    What is your favorite comfort food?
    It's happy hour - what drink do your order?
    Any good books to recommend?
  • i'm a mac and cheese girl, i like mojitos, and i'm not a reader.  ive tried to get into some of the popular books, but just can't get into them. I dont know, i guess i dont really enjoy reading.  never did.  my friends and family always give me books they say i just have to read and i never get through them.  :-)

    the pressure is a little much sometimes, but it comes more from friends than it does family. my family is great. its all my married neighbors that always want to know whats going on with us.  *sigh*
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_new-here-hey-yall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:737ba87c-bfd9-4b26-b1ec-b06f316035adPost:cbf5f6f6-5a85-4d5f-a6f5-5df5bea4ca87">Re: new here - hey ya'll</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>i'm a mac and cheese girl, i like mojitos, and i'm not a reader. </strong> ive tried to get into some of the popular books, but just can't get into them. I dont know, i guess i dont really enjoy reading.  never did.  my friends and family always give me books they say i just have to read and i never get through them.  :-) the pressure is a little much sometimes, but it comes more from friends than it does family. my family is great. its all my married neighbors that always want to know whats going on with us.  *sigh*
    Posted by Mindyerbiz[/QUOTE]

    Hi! I was reading the bolded part thinking we were so alike and then you said you're not a reader :( oh well, you sound sane and normal so I'll like you anyway!

    I can understand feeling pressure from people to get married. My mom wanted BF to propose 2 years ago! Just remember that they probably aren't trying to pressure as much as they are interested in your life and want you to be happy :)


  • Welcome!

    Funniest thing that's happened to you lately?
  • yeah, im pretty normal. i just cant get into reading. so many people told me i just HAD to read "the help" and i got about half way through and put it down. i didnt care what happened to the characters. everyone said i quit reading right when it gets good, but i just had no desire to pick up and read it again. i just dont enjoy sitting down with a book and reading. whenever i go on vacation i bring a book and never even open it. got through 1 page of the kite runner on a long trip. never opened it again. ha! weirdo, i know.
  • Mac n cheese is the best! Welcome :)
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  • Hi Mindy
    I love mojitos too. I had one on a rooftop bar in Manhattan a couple of years ago that was so good. I think it had something unusual in it because I've never had one like it.
    Did you/will you wear a costume for Halloween? What as? Or if not this time, what about last time?

  • i love real fresh mojitos. not that mixed stuff. i like them when they arent too sweet.  i prefer the classic ones too. the flavored ones sometimes just take like syrup.  yuck.

    no halloween party happening this year. i will be at my bf's tomorrow night, so i wont be here to give out candy. 

    ive been stuck at home cuz of the hurricane and have been spending lots of time on pinterest. tons of wedding stuff on there. very overwhelming! my friends that have been known to put the pressure on when it comes to wedding stuff, have been sending me links to things they found on pinterest they think i would like. i look at it, but sometimes i feel like i shouldn't. its like, if something was to go bad between the boyfriend and i, i feel like looking at wedding stuff would emotionally scar me. not that i think things are going to go bad, but i dont want to be like one of those girls you see on "say yes to the dress" that go dress shopping with no ring. that freaks me out.  i just love how its fine for my neighbors to have dated their husbands for years before they got married, but for me, i should be married in less than a year.  i guess they are just excited for me cuz they know this is serious, but i dont want to get all wrapped up in talking about a wedding that isnt even real, know what i mean? 
  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    Welcome!  

    Do you like horses?  

    What did/are you majoring in college?
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • no, im not into horses.

    im out of college. my major was marketing. 
  • You sound sane. I like that.

    Ya the worst presure for us is definitely my friends. I've been dealing with the link sending for about a year now as well! Just tell them you two are happy and in no rush.

    What's your favorite season and why?
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  • Hi welcome to the board!  I'm new on here as well, it seems like you have a good head on your shoulders when it comes to your relationship.  My DBF and I get asked all the time  (we were asked after only being together for five month by my friend's husband!) when we are getting married, but we just want to enjoy our time together, you know? 

    So any vacation plans for next year?  What's one place you would want to travel to anywhere in the world?  When you're on vacation do you like to relax or do you like to go out and do lots of different things?  How did you weather Hurricane Sandy down there in Philly?

    I have vacation on the brain, forgive me!

    Welcome!

     Wedding Countdown Ticker




    image 59 Invited
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  • we survived fine here in Philadelphia.  Most of the real damage was at the jersey shore and md/de beaches.  we were lucky here.  some areas are still without electricity, but I never lost it.  NYC really got hit bad.  the damage done to the infrastructure there is HUGE.  So many people commute into work and now have no way of getting there. 

    We did some fun day trips this past summer but not any real vacations. we did go home to visit his family for a week. they live half way across the US from us (sorry, i dont like to get into specifics online) so that was our big trip. we are going back for christmas.  this will be hte first time ill be away from my family at christmas, but they are fine with it.  i think its a pretty serious sign that he is taking me home with him. paid for the plane ticket and everything. he brought up marriage about 4 months into the relationship. we had a big long talk about everytihng and i said it would be nice to meet his family before we got married so the next day he put the wheels in motion for a trip home. they all liked me and now we are going back for christmas.  everyone seems to think he will propose before christmas, so he can take me home as his fiance instead of his girlfriend, but we'll see!  i honestly have no clue.  we havent talked about marriage in awhile. we talk about the future, and know we will be together but not more specific marriage talk. we already did that.  so it may be coming soon, may not!  ill keep you posted. 

    i love caribbean vacations.  bf has never been so i'd love to take him
  • Beanbot would like you to know that you spelled y'all wrong.

     

  • Beanbot would like you to know that you spelled y'all wrong.

    I grew up in Upper Bucks County, so we're like neighbors.  My parents and some other friends and relatives don't have power and water right now.  I'm glad Philly survived without too much damage, though.  

    Are you an Eagles fan?  Phillies?  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_new-here-hey-yall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:737ba87c-bfd9-4b26-b1ec-b06f316035adPost:e4dc04b9-0fa5-401f-97fd-5010027647ce">Re: new here - hey ya'll</a>:
    [QUOTE]Beanbot would like you to know that you spelled y'all wrong. I grew up in Upper Bucks County, so we're like neighbors.  My parents and some other friends and relatives don't have power and water right now.  I'm glad Philly survived without too much damage, though. <strong>  Are you an Eagles fan?  Phillies?</strong>  
    Posted by K Everdeen12[/QUOTE]

    There are proper responses to these questions.



    Just Saying
  • i dont think i'm totally following here...guess im just new to this whole message board thing.  beanbot?  what is that?

    I don't watch sports at all, so i'm not a Phillies fan or Eagles fan.  I don't want them to lose or anything, i could just care less if they win.  Not my thing.
  • Beanbot is one of our regular posters. She's unable to post right now, but wanted there is a standing PSA that y'all is y'all, not ya'll or ya'all. It's a common mistake... and definitely not one of the more egregious ones.
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    "You are made of win." -SopChick
    Still here and still fabulous!

  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY mod
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    Soooo.... you don't like reading, you're not into horses, and you're not a sports fan.

    Also, it seems as though your shift key is broken. It only works sometimes.

    I don't think we're going to be friends.



    *******************************************************************************************




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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_new-here-hey-yall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:737ba87c-bfd9-4b26-b1ec-b06f316035adPost:0e138965-e1d5-41b5-bb91-25f83a6bac79">Re: new here - hey ya'll</a>:
    [QUOTE]Soooo.... you don't like reading, you're not into horses, and you're not a sports fan. Also, it seems as though your shift key is broken. It only works sometimes. I don't think we're going to be friends.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    I'm glad we're friends <3
  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_new-here-hey-yall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:737ba87c-bfd9-4b26-b1ec-b06f316035adPost:0e138965-e1d5-41b5-bb91-25f83a6bac79">Re: new here - hey ya'll</a>:
    [QUOTE]Soooo.... you don't like reading, you're not into horses, and you're not a sports fan. Also, it seems as though your shift key is broken. It only works sometimes. I don't think we're going to be friends.
    Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

    <div>
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    </div>
    I french with my man
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  • Hmm.  So what DO you like to do in your free time?
  • Ok this is getting kinda strange.  I'm pretty sure I don't like doing this in my free time.  I just wanted to come say hi. 

    Have a nice day, ladies. 

  • Well, the way to make friends is to find common interests with those on the board.  So far you shut down everything we asked about, so I'm trying to find out what your hobbies are.  Do you craft?  Knit?  Paint?  Watch TV?  Etc.
  • I like cooking, day trips, running, current events, cruising, going out to eat and entertaining.  I'm not artsy, but I do have a slight obsession with looking at crafty stuff on Pinterest.  I never make anything I see on there, but I have tried lots of recipes.  I hate to bake, but I'll do it sometimes.  I prefer to cook. 
  • I love cooking and I'm getting into baking.  I'm about to make some pumpkin cream cheese snickerdoodles since I just found out I can't go back to work this week.  (Thanks Sandy.)  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_new-here-hey-yall?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:737ba87c-bfd9-4b26-b1ec-b06f316035adPost:5d743224-aaef-4629-8788-8a5e73cb72ef">Re: new here - hey ya'll</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love cooking and I'm getting into baking.  I'm about to make some pumpkin cream cheese snickerdoodles since I just found out I can't go back to work this week.  (Thanks Sandy.)  
    Posted by K Everdeen12[/QUOTE]

    You mail some to me?

     

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