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My tonight......

GIBLER72587GIBLER72587 member
10 Comments
in Not Engaged Yet
So I started cramping for my period today, yay! right? not. Well I was suppose to go home and pack and clean tonight after work because I moved in two weeks for Denver. Then at 8 I am suppose to drive to Des Moines to pick something up for a friend, I sell Pure Romance and she wanted something I didn't have in stock and so I am trading another consultant. But since I am going to Des Moines I won't get home until around 10 which means close to 10:30 to bed and I have to get up at 6 for work. I know it's not terrible but I just don't want to do any of it.

On a side note my day started out great. Ben, my BF, told me this morning he has figured out a way to pay for our wedding without borrowing more money from his folks and going into more debt. Which is amazing because that means we can have the wedding we want and as quickly as we want. We are actually talking about the end of the summer. You may all think that's fast, but I have A LOT planned already. He told me a long time ago, well a few months ago, that it was up to me how fast we had it after he proposed. So I was allowed to plan even though we weren't officially engaged. So we've unofficially set a date for August 7. We'll see if it happens.

So tell me about your night's plans.
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Re: My tonight......

  • chickadeedeedeechickadeedeedee
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ...Why wouldn't you just get engaged if you have everything planned already?
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  • GIBLER72587GIBLER72587 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Because one we know we've only been together for a year, two we were waiting to get and find a ring, three I was waiting for him to be ready, and four supposedly he has a ring and a plan and a day picked up but he wants it to be a surprise. So for a little while longer we're waiting.
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  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tonight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:77d6fe03-56ee-4d26-822d-9a351260f15fPost:19107335-5f75-4450-8168-2c3db4f9a4f6">Re: My tonight......</a>:
    [QUOTE]...Why wouldn't you just get engaged if you have everything planned already?
    Posted by chickadeedeedee[/QUOTE]

    My thoughts, too.... but I guess whatever floats your boat. I don't understand how being engaged would actually be any different.

    Tonight, FI's best friend is coming to visit. He lives in Alabama, so we don't see him terribly often. Right now, I am cleaning our apartment like a crazy woman. Then, I need to go to PetSmart and clean the adoption center (I do that once a week).

    THEN, I will come back and hopefully we will eat something. Because I'm already hungry!

    Finally, I'm sure the guys will be talking and hanging out playing video games or something, so I will break out my art project and work on that while watching them play something cool.

    Maybe FI will actually get out one of the 5 board games he bought a few months ago that we have NEVER played.
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tonight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:77d6fe03-56ee-4d26-822d-9a351260f15fPost:8f9c1a32-4562-4c39-8815-dcd426195ff9">My tonight......</a>:
    [QUOTE] So we've unofficially set a date for August 7. We'll see if it happens
    Posted by GIBLER72587[/QUOTE]

    I don't understand this.  It's not that I think pressuring a guy to propose is a good idea, but I'm all for taking an active role in plans for your own life.  A wedding isn't going to happen if you just wait and see.
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  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you're already planning and looking at dates, you're engaged, whether there has been a formal announcement or not. Or at least, that's how I see it. You basically are.
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  • GIBLER72587GIBLER72587 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I guess we are unofficially engaged. We aren't making an official announcement because he hasn't officially asked and he wants to. He wants it to be a surprise. I said we will wait and see if it happens because it depends on when he asks and if it works for the people we think "have" to be there. There are a few people that we would like to be there and we want to check it with their schedules. We haven't done this because he wants to make it official first and I'm not allowed to propose because he wants to do it, which I'm fine with. We have discussed this date for several reasons. The person he wants to be the best is in a wedding the beginning of September and so we like not to do it the end of August, he also has finals the beginning of September so he would like plenty of time to study, it also is before school starts for most schools so the teachers in my family should be able to come, my finals will be over, and many many other reasons we've discussed. If this date ends up not working, we'll adjust and find another date. Yes it's a life changing event but I have faith that it will happen, I would like it to happen sooner rather than later but my life will be just fine him as my bf rather than my fiancé or husband. I also plan, it's what I do, I see things I like and I stick them in back of my mind as something I would like to do. I play with ideas. I actually my centerpiece ideas because I had a dream about them. I'm crazy I admit but I accept it.
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  • MidniteRaeMidniteRae member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Tonight I am pretty much doing laundry. We are going to watch Flash Forward and for dinner we are having Kung Pao Shrimp Quesadillas
    "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you." -Ray Bradbury 
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  • KD+BCKD+BC
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    How do you plan a wedding if you don't know the date yet? Just out of curiosity. Especially during peak wedding season and since it's so soon?

    Oh, and tonight I went and saw my sister who had surgery on her ankle to remove scar tissue. She's doing great and looping on Vicodin.
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  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Yay for Vicodin! Was anyone else totally thrown by the first sentence of OP? Maybe I'm modest or backward or something, but ... did we need to know? A simple, "not feeling well and don't feel like running this errand" would have done it for me.
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  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Paint it made me want to type go get some midol but I wasn't sure if it was pertinent to the post and after that didn't want to read anymore after that so I just let it be.
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I've come to this post a few times and can't get past that sentence. No idea what the rest of the thing is about.

    I've been gone a week - has anyone asked OP why she joined so long ago? Something boring like "my sister was getting married" or something juicy like a 19 year old ice rink?
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  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I never care enough to ask those questions, I'm not even sluthey enough to notice stuff like that. IF someone did I'm too scared to read to find out. I only came in here b/c I saw you were the most recent poster.
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm a little worried about what that says about me, Buttons. I'm off my normal game tonight.
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  • tafft1tafft1 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Tonight i am trying to overcome the frustration of a shitty day mixed with a bad emotional day for me that comes every year and dosent get easier but such is life.

    As far as the other half of the post - Being together just a year is not a good "excuse" not to be engaged , who cares ? FI and I started talking marriage ( note NOT the wedding) on our second visit together. We were engaged at about 9 months together , there is no official timeline things have to followe - this isn't to say you need to rush things either - do what you both feel comfotrable with. Personally I JUST started planning - choosing/reserving the venue and photographer set up as well as just now getting ideas with FI what we want together - i tried getting ideas before and was overwhelmed , i just don't see how anyone can plan things in advance like that because things will always come up.

    You don't have to have a ring to be engaged - you do need a mutual commitment between the both of you about the marriage - not the wedding. Just take things slow and dont count on anything.
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  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Well I'm KUI so I haven't noticed if you are or not.

    I hate that everytime I open this post I can't help but read the 1st line no matter how hard I try. WTF?!?!?!

    And seriously that user picture am I going crazy or does she have fangs?
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Careful with the KUI! I've regretted that in the morning. Something about veils are ugly and I don't know why people were crying over Baby Mutley's heartbeat. :)
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  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Psssh, I remember that, I thought it was hilarious! So what if you've got good fashion sense and don't care about someone elses womb critter?
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • sapphirebaby926sapphirebaby926
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tonight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:77d6fe03-56ee-4d26-822d-9a351260f15fPost:f6b8b8eb-ce80-4bab-9b97-88d3fcef73bb">Re: My tonight......</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well I'm KUI so I haven't noticed if you are or not. I hate that everytime I open this post I can't help but read the 1st line no matter how hard I try. WTF?!?!?! And seriously that user picture am I going crazy or does she have fangs?
    Posted by Button5807[/QUOTE]

    I thought the exact same thing! That picture kinda creeps me out...

    Also I love your new sig quote : )
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  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tonight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:77d6fe03-56ee-4d26-822d-9a351260f15fPost:04f61555-e27d-4c9c-afca-895371fbbe48">Re: My tonight......</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My tonight...... : I thought the exact same thing! That picture kinda creeps me out... Also I love your new sig quote : )
    Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]

    Glad to know it's not just me, I was nervous b/c there was a big pause after I posted that, I was wondering who I offended. lol

    I couldn't resist with the quote, something about that phrase raises my blood pressure.
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • sapphirebaby926sapphirebaby926
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tonight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:77d6fe03-56ee-4d26-822d-9a351260f15fPost:90086392-9d31-4bc7-a389-3a497a505308">Re: My tonight......</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My tonight...... : Glad to know it's not just me, I was nervous b/c there was a big pause after I posted that, I was wondering who I offended. lol I couldn't resist with the quote, something about that phrase raises my blood pressure.
    Posted by Button5807[/QUOTE]

    I would have responded earlier but I was in class : (

    And yes I can't stand that phrase either - it drives me up the walls. I'm of the opinion you're either engaged or you're not - there is no inbetween for me
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  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tonight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:77d6fe03-56ee-4d26-822d-9a351260f15fPost:4525834d-0cf1-4e9b-9268-b724134b25ce">Re: My tonight......</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My tonight...... : I would have responded earlier but I was in class : ( And yes I can't stand that phrase either - it drives me up the walls. I'm of the opinion you're either engaged or you're not - there is no inbetween for me
    Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]

    And I figure the kitten thing is a lot less offense than "i hope you choke on your promise ring" <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-embarassed.gif" border="0" alt="Embarassed" title="Embarassed" />
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • sapphirebaby926sapphirebaby926
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tonight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:77d6fe03-56ee-4d26-822d-9a351260f15fPost:13c0c84d-5c94-49c2-9f3a-ae5b262b081a">Re: My tonight......</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My tonight...... : And I figure the kitten thing is a lot less offense than "i hope you choke on your promise ring"
    Posted by Button5807[/QUOTE]


    ~lol~ it'd be funnier though
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  • NarwhalNarwhal
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I choked on a ring once.  It wasn't a promise ring, just a nice ring i got from my parents for christmas one year.  I had it in my mouth for some reason and it slipped down my throat.  I was home alone and on all fours on the floor trying to hack it back up.  I thought for sure I was going to die that day, and my parents would come home from work and trip over my carcass by the front door.
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  • GIBLER72587GIBLER72587 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ok sorry I shard TMI right of way. Guess I'm blunt and at the point of writing this I was really really in a lot of pain and was trying to distract myself. I did take a midol. I guess I was complaining but more I was venting and trying to make conversation and get to know you ladies a little.

    I can plan a wedding without date because I plan little details. Things like little details. Like my bf and I would like to wear converses. What roles we would like our siblings to play. Where abouts we want to have, Iowa where we're from or Denver where we are moving. Not exact locations but little details. But also could change.

    Ok why I've been on here so long. I guess it started two relationships ago. I thought I had met the "one", I was dumb and young, and it entertained me. I dated him while a senior in high school and a freshmen in college. The relationship after that I was engaged, after a two and a half relationship, I figured out I was in love with the idea of my bf. He fit the mold of everything I thought I wanted. I no longer stood on my own feet and didn't have my own life. I broke it off and started putting my life back together. I dated yes, but nothing serious. After six months of being single I started dating my current bf, I didn't think it was serious, I thought it was over after two weeks because he was moving, I went to visit him that summer before I started my job, I then thought it was over when I came back but yet again he surprised me, he was moving back to Iowa, not because of me but for other reasons, so relationship continued. In the next few months we overcame several things.

    Also I know the fact of only being together a year is not a good reason not to be engaged, but as I said above I have been engaged before. Both of us have been through some screwy relationships. We wanted to make sure we were both ready. In my mind I wanted to make we weren't just in a honeymooner stage. I wanted to make sure I could have a relationship and still be me, not lose who I was. We had discussed marriage, to be bluntly he told me that he was going to marry my "butt" and I didn't get a choice.

    I'm glad having to defend myself. I never insulted any of you. I'm sorry if offended you with my OP sentence. Oh and sorry if you don't like my teeth.
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  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    maybe i'll make a new button.... ;-)


    Narwhal - that's a really bizzare story.

    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • NarwhalNarwhal
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I don't know why I shared that.

    ...I may or may not be KUI.
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  • NarwhalNarwhal
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Gibler.

    I honestly don't think that a guy who says you don't have a choice in marrying him or not is a very good idea
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  • Button5807Button5807
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad you shared it made my KUI experience that much better. ;-)
    image image image image 
    "but you're SO FUNNY, button! you're so funny i kind of want to crawl into your skin and wear it as my own. " - NarwhalYou, my dear, are the Queen of the Beebees. Here's a tiara - Oceana 
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  • sapphirebaby926sapphirebaby926
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think the picture is just a little distorted is what makes it look like you have fangs

    Being careful about being sure you're really with 'the one' is important and I can see why you might not want to be engaged so soon considering your past engagement. But if you're planning your wedding and setting a date you are essentially engaged - just because you haven't announced anything to anyone yet doesn't make it any less official IMO.
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  • GIBLER72587GIBLER72587 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's a joke. He's completely kidding, sarcasm. As he says it I'm marrying your a$$, get over it. Or I'm your a$$, whether you like it or not. It's his way of telling me he loves and is going to fight for me. He knows I get a choice and I want to be with him.
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