Long Distance Relationships

iheartyou10

Has anyone ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, did it last? Are you and your BF still together? If y'all were talking about marriage, did it happen? Are engaged now?

I'm new to all this internet 'posting things' so I'm going to start over and do it right..

So, i've only been with my bf 3 years. We've been seperated a year because i moved 800 miles away with my family. We're not engaged yet, and earlier I have gotten advice to just wait and enjoy him as a BF and enjoy dating. So i put away my "marriage book" and started to focus on us now as BF/GF. One thing I'm afraid of is: Which one of us will get tired of waiting first?

AudgiePodge

If either one of you 'gets tired of waiting', the relationship isn't strong enough to turn into a marriage.

nottheonlydreamer44

Didn't we already DO this? Oh my God.

He doesn't love you. You are crazy. The end.

coastiegrl25

You.  Because obviously you have a problem with being patient. 

PaigeMcC

I did LD.  I am now marrying that man.  We're cool like that.  If you're in the right relationship then you don't "get tired" of it.

nottheonlydreamer44

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:f3c9b696-cacb-42a4-9657-e2fabdc5e262">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]You.  Because obviously you have a problem with being patient. 
Posted by coastiegrl25[/QUOTE]

I will second that and also that you have a problem with comprehension failure overall. You have got to be a Troll because I will not accept that this type of stupidity actually exists.

iheartyou10

Ok I Can understand that. I am very Patient . I really just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced a long distance relationship.?

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:93d4e146-8d53-44ea-b218-07d24d6b3625">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok I Can understand that. I am very Patient . I really just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced a long distance relationship.?
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]
No. No one else in the history of the world has experienced a LDR.

TheMutleys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:132618cc-bbe9-4b0c-b0a9-3d63b71e632b">Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Has anyone ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, did it last? Are you and your BF still together? If y'all were talking about marriage, did it happen? Are engaged now? I'm new to all this internet 'posting things' so I'm going to start over and do it right.. So, i've only been with my bf 3 years. We've been seperated a year because i moved 800 miles away with my family. We're not engaged yet, and earlier I have gotten advice to just wait and enjoy him as a BF and enjoy dating. So i put away my "marriage book" and started to focus on us now as BF/GF. One thing I'm afraid of is: Which one of us will get tired of waiting first?
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]

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I give you points for persistence.  Then again, those points are outweighed 10 times over by your points for annoying behavior. 


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You are way to effing insecure about your relationship.  Seriously.  This is what is going to kill your LDR.  You are too worried about what is going to happen.  You are going to smother him with your insecurity.  Live your life.  Have fun.  If the two of you grow together, great.  If you don't, then that is what is to be. 

Please come back with the same exact post next week.  Please.  It is really awesome. 

nottheonlydreamer44

Obviously you understand nothing because you've gotten about 15 responses previously from ladies that did or are in LDR's. That has nothing to do with it. You lack the patience and the fortitude to actually make this relationship work if you are honestly asking, 'Which one of us will get tired of waiting first?"

ETA: Agree with Mutley.

iheartyou10

Ok. Thank You.

TheMutleys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:93d4e146-8d53-44ea-b218-07d24d6b3625">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok I Can understand that. I am very Patient . I really just wanted to know if anyone else had experienced a long distance relationship.?
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]

You are not patient.  You are stupid and annoying.  If you act like this towards your bf, it is no wonder that you are not engaged.  It is even more amazing that he hasn't left your ass.  FFS.

I experienced a long distance relationship.  For a LONG freaking time.  And that distance often included him going on deployments where our communication was very limited.  We did NOT get married.  However, it had nothing to do with the distance.  It was because we were not a good fit. 

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:08b61562-ca2b-4794-b8b2-df1cce20966e">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Thank You.
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]
No problem.

iheartyou10

Ok. Then I'll ask. How did you all handle it the distance and did it have an effect on your relationship?

nottheonlydreamer44

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:08b61562-ca2b-4794-b8b2-df1cce20966e">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Thank You.
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]

Huh? You're welcome, I guess.

[Deleted User]

You should call him right now and ask him which one of you HE thinks will get tired of the only LDR in the history of the WORLD!

If he doesn't answer you it's because he's laid up with some chick that he's already bought a ring for!!

iheartyou10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:47223721-11c1-4951-a532-7933de66ab2b">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Obviously you understand nothing because you've gotten about 15 responses previously from ladies that did or are in LDR's.</strong> That has nothing to do with it. You lack the patience and the fortitude to actually make this relationship work if you are honestly asking, 'Which one of us will get tired of waiting first?" ETA: Agree with Mutley.
Posted by nottheonlydreamer44[/QUOTE]


~ Didn't know that, that is why I asked for advice.

SenoritaCupcake

My last relationship was 3,000 miles away for 3 years. (We met when I lived in Ireland)  Needless to say, it sucked, and I would never want to do long distance again. However, the simple truth is that when your two options are being with that person long distance, or not being with them at all, if you love them then it’s kind of a no-brainer.

 

It took me along time to understand that my ex and I weren’t meant to be together, but once I did, I was able to meet new people (like my current Rockstar BF). Distance had nothing to do with our breakup. Your relationship is either made of long-lasting material or it’s not. Distance won’t change that.

TheMutleys

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:7e8f3a68-64e3-4dfe-8d20-91beda1a8d7b">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Then I'll ask. How did you all handle it the distance and did it have an effect on your relationship?
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]


Lots of phone sex.

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:4da94bfe-0310-4855-9475-07c5bce256c3">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]If either one of you 'gets tired of waiting', the relationship isn't strong enough to turn into a marriage.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

THIS.

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:7e8f3a68-64e3-4dfe-8d20-91beda1a8d7b">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Then I'll ask. How did you all handle it the distance and did it have an effect on your relationship?
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]
Now that is a question that perhaps people could answer without flaming you for being an impatient, needy, insecure person. Wish you'd posted that first, eh?<div>
</div><div>I've never don'e LDR, except when FI was traveling for work. He'd come home on the weekends, so not really an LDR, but FWIW, it made us closer, I think because we really valued our time together. </div>

nottheonlydreamer44

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:7e8f3a68-64e3-4dfe-8d20-91beda1a8d7b">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Then I'll ask. How did you all handle it the distance and did it have an effect on your relationship?
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]

Well, I have done a semi LDR before actually twice and while it was difficult at times we made time for one another and made sure to communicate our feelings and about our daily lives. I married one of them and got divorced. The other relationship ended because (Like Mutley's) we weren't a good fit.

None of this matters, however, because you are so completely insecure and desperate that your BF will "get tired" of you before you get tired of waiting.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:7e8f3a68-64e3-4dfe-8d20-91beda1a8d7b">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Then I'll ask. How did you all handle it the distance and did it have an effect on your relationship?
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]

<div>Skype.  It's a godsend.  We got it the last year we were LD (we were LD for almost 3 years) and it was such a help.  I think if you're dedicated to the relationship, you're patient and you have good communication then you can work through a LDR.  HOWEVER, some people just can't do it.  I know a few friends that couldn't handle it.  </div><div>
</div><div> Previous questions you've asked make me think that you're insecure about your LDR.  Being insecure in ANY relationship is not good.  You need to have trust and faith in your partner.  I see some big red flags from your posts and I think you and BF/FBD/BD need to sit down (or skype or phone or whatever) and really talk this out.  Is it the right thing for you and for your relationship?  Only you two can answer that.</div>

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:94e545ce-c0b4-49fb-b2d2-01c6fdd6d8bd">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Long Distance Relationships : Lots of phone sex.
Posted by TheMutleys[/QUOTE]
And this.

iheartyou10

Lyz... um.. We talked about that .. maybeI shouldn't have quoted it like that, but we have discussed our good and bad sides. Also, if there is anything we wanted to change about each other. So, we're pretty good honestly.

and from my last quote: I wanted to know how did you ladies or whoever handle the LDRs??

nottheonlydreamer44

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:f21ba667-6a51-466a-9d00-b8218455e76d">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Long Distance Relationships : ~ Didn't know that, that is why I asked for advice.
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]

Memory FAIL. You had this exact same post about a week ago. You got a ton of responses about being in LDR's you just chose to ignore them.

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:d6921c4b-4b99-48a9-8c45-29ea1632f0e8">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Long Distance Relationships : Skype.  It's a godsend.  We got it the last year we were LD (we were LD for almost 3 years) and it was such a help.  I think if you're dedicated to the relationship, you're patient and you have good communication then you can work through a LDR.  HOWEVER, some people just can't do it.  I know a few friends that couldn't handle it.    Previous questions you've asked make me think that you're insecure about your LDR.  Being insecure in ANY relationship is not good.  You need to have trust and faith in your partner.  I see some big red flags from your posts and I think you and BF/FBD/BD need to sit down (or skype or phone or whatever) and really talk this out.  Is it the right thing for you and for your relationship?  <strong>Only you two can answer that.</strong>
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]<div>Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires. 

</div>

misikes

I've known my BF for several years now, and we've been dating for a year and a few months. He currently lives on the west coast, I live on the east coast. Because of the distance, we realized that a "surprise proposal" wasn't going to suit us, which was fine with us. The last time we were together, we decided that getting engaged at that time was a bit early, so we're currently waiting. We already have a ring, but we're waiting a bit longer, for both of our sakes, to make sure that we're REALLY ready (financially speaking) to start planning a wedding.

Long story short, it's possible. But not for everyone.

nottheonlydreamer44

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:8cc5fd56-d6f3-4a2e-b7f3-58ab378a9df7">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Lyz... um.. We talked about that .. maybeI shouldn't have quoted it like that, but we have discussed our good and bad sides. Also, if there is anything we wanted to change about each other. So, we're pretty good honestly. and from my last quote: I wanted to know how did you ladies or whoever handle the LDRs??
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]

Hold on: that is not what you asked in your first post, you asked who would get tired of waiting first. Two totally different things. Handling a LDR is hard and it's not all rainbows and sugarplums. You need to stop worrying about "who will give up first" and actually DEAL with your relationship.

Skype, Phone sex, trips back and forth whenever possible, communication.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_long-distance-relationships?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:7ee72d88-f456-4d91-b566-6d70a98dd1dfPost:8cc5fd56-d6f3-4a2e-b7f3-58ab378a9df7">Re: Long Distance Relationships</a>:
[QUOTE]Lyz... um.. We talked about that .. maybeI shouldn't have quoted it like that, but we have discussed our good and bad sides. <strong>Also, if there is anything we wanted to change about each other</strong>. So, we're pretty good honestly. and from my last quote: I wanted to know how did you ladies or whoever handle the LDRs??
Posted by iheartyou10[/QUOTE]

What? This just makes it sound like you are both terribly insecure about yourself individually and as a couple. Learn to love and appreciate yourself before you try loving someone else. (And I mean in the long term, not just having a bad day).

iheartyou10

lol . phone sex.. yeah he said that it helps him.
Ok. LOVE the answers, I do not want to come off as insecure and impatient because i promise im the most humble and sweetest person. Yes we trust each other and Yes we have faith and believe that God put us together. He has also made me a better communicator.. We have good communication..

[AND yes i Should have posted that question first. My apologies : still learning.. ]