Ring Shopping!

lavender_fairy

Hi Knotties,

I'm not engaged yet, but I'm looking around at rings online to (hopefully!) make ring shopping easier when it's the right time for it. We've talked about our future together before, so I'm not totally jumping the gun, hah.

Well, I like simple jewelry and would only like one diamond on my ring. I have never bought diamond jewelry before, though, so I don't know much about the buying process. Obviously I have looked at the basics and know a little about the four Cs but that is about it. Oh, and people have suggested getting a grading report (is that the correct term?) from a lab and that having one is the only way to find out the 4 Cs of each stone. Is that true? If so, which lab should I get a report from? Are there big differences between any of them?

If you have any tips for shopping for diamonds, please share them! Thanks for your help!

paintgirl

How do you view a ring? What in the world do you need lab reports for?

I sent my BF to Overstock. I look at a ring as a symbol of marriage, not as a financial investment, so as long as it's pretty I couldn't care less about the Cs and the other stuff. I told him to take the extra money and put it in our retirement fund. By the time we retire, it would be worth almost a year of living expenses.

So I guess I'm saying I'm the wrong person to ask...

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:87be3807-6137-4ac2-b082-5bc9685fcf50">Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Knotties, I'm not engaged yet, but I'm looking around at rings online to (hopefully!) make ring shopping easier when it's the right time for it. We've talked about our future together before, so I'm not totally jumping the gun, hah. Well, I like simple jewelry and would only like one diamond on my ring. I have never bought diamond jewelry before, though, so I don't know much about the buying process. Obviously I have looked at the basics and know a little about the four Cs but that is about it. Oh, and people have suggested getting a grading report (is that the correct term?) from a lab and that having one is the only way to find out the 4 Cs of each stone. Is that true? If so, which lab should I get a report from? Are there big differences between any of them? If you have any tips for shopping for diamonds, please share them! Thanks for your help! :)
Posted by lavender_fairy[/QUOTE]

Does your bf want you involved in the ring buying process?

Some guys want help, others do not.  You do not mention what he wants in all of this.

jeanacorina

You sound like you should talk to Norway.

Anyway, my FI went to Zales Outlet and bought one out of the case. He took like 8 hours to decide (I know because I was at home alone and thought he was grocery shopping and getting a birthday present for me), but still. No reports, no certifications. Just a beautiful ring.

We did some research online, and decided not to even get a diamond. I wanted a moissanite instead. But when he went to look at rings that changed because he felt more comfortable with a diamond (he's a bit traditional).

He also went for better color but sacrificed clarity. My diamond is near colorless but had two inclusions (I like to call them freckles) that can be seen with the naked eye if you know where to look.

It's just a rock, though. Made from highly compressed dead dinosaurs and space dust.

sapphirebaby926

Yeah I'm with Mutley here - what does your BF say about all this? He may want to pick it out without any help from you.

I don't know anything about the 4 C's so I'm no help there

katanne9

Please stop looking at rings. This is something that your BF should be researching when he is ready to propose to you. Not for you to use as intellectual leverage.

That being said, there are enormous differences between the 4Cs, so yes, it matters. That's why some diamonds cost $500, and others cost $10,000. My FI said he would never buy a non-certified stone, which gives you the reports and mapping of your diamond. If you get anything over 1ct, you get a map of the diamond that shows exactly where the cuts and angles are inside the diamond. This will help when you need appraisals or insurance.

That being said, he and I looked at ZERO rings together nor did I do ANY diamond researching. When he was ready, he asked what styles I like, I showed him a few pictures online, and lo and behold a year and a half later we were engaged with a perfectly beautiful ring.

Acrosthec

<div>[QUOTE]I'm not engaged yet, but I'm looking around at rings online to (hopefully!) make ring shopping easier when it's the right time for it. We've talked about our future together before, so I'm not totally jumping the gun, hah.[/QUOTE]

Does your BF even know you're looking at rings?  You admit it's not the time yet for shopping, and that you are (at least somewhat) jumping the gun.  Talking about your future does not = ready to be engaged.  Your BF may not be ready for years after the initial talks about your future happen (ask anyone on this board - for me, FI started talking about our "future" in May 2008.  He even got the ring in May 2008.  He didn't propose until Oct. 2009.)

I agree with Mutley.  Your post, whether you intended it to or not, comes off very..."I'm looking at rings so I can tell my BF what I want, but he knows nothing about it" which isn't a good thing.  You need to communicate with your BF, and if he wants you involved in the ring shopping experience, do your research together when you're BOTH ready to look and the timing IS right.</div>

oceana919

Amen to everything previously stated...

You really need to sit down and have a serious adult conversation with your BF about this...namely, get an idea (a rough one even) as to when he might want get engaged, whether you'll look at rings together or he wants no input from you, etc. If you are not ready to sit down and have this conversation with him, you're definitely not ready to get engaged or married.

In terms of ring shopping, you have to honestly decide what is most important to you - shape, clarity, color, setting, etc. and find a ring that matches that. When FI and I looked at rings, we already knew what we were looking for because we had sat down and discussed it beforehand. Something I strongly encourage you to do.

Ana_2985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:64bdff0d-2993-4ea1-9d53-a5e979ce8cf0">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]It's just a rock, though. Made from highly compressed dead dinosaurs and space dust.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

Careful Jeana- there are a few scientists on this board ;)

Everyone else addressed the big issues (what does you BF think etc..) so I'll just say: no you do not NEED a lab report.  The only reason you would want one is if a jeweler was trying to sell you a colorless, flawless ring for thousands of dollars but had no way to prove that you were in fact getting a flawless diamond without a report.  But if you just want a beautiful ring regardless of its stats and feel comfortable with the price than it does not NEED to be certified.  And you can always go to an appraiser if you need information for jewelry insurance.

KD+BC

My FI, then bf, started "talking about our future" the summer of 2005. We got engaged this past Christmas. Does he know you're looking at rings? My FI and I knew we would get married at some point but I needed to be ready and he DEFINITELY needed to be ready before we took the plunge. Don't put any pressure on him. Let him look at rings. If he wants your input, he'll ask.

hetshup

Everyone else has answered the should I be looking question.

I do happen to know a lot about cuts etc etc. A better color with more inclusions should sparkle more than a better diamond at a lower color. My diamond is an I color, which is colorless to the human eye, and VS1. Above all you want a better cut b\c that needs to be excellent for maximum sparkle. If you guys are really talking, what I would do based on where you live is send him to the diamond district, have him buy a loose diamond and have it set later, that way you aren't paying a markup for advertising. You don't need a gem report, but you do need an appraisal for insurance purposes and if you wind up with a larger stone you want to make sure that you have info about that particular stone.


That being said, I personally don't take issue with you looking at rings, I did it, it's fun to look. Like going to Gucci, window shop a bit. If you go in and try on rings, we will have to have another conversation.

Jeana--- Dino dust? C'mon now

pinkpinot

Everyone who posted above me is a HOAR.

And that is all I have to say about that :-)

hetshup

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:5f3b43df-0c84-413c-ad4a-d3b5c3165d96">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone who posted above me is a HOAR. And that is all I have to say about that :-)
Posted by pinkpinot[/QUOTE]

Takes one to know one.

jeanacorina

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:000630ae-dd9d-4ee2-8e07-d29f27b922e8">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring Shopping! : Careful Jeana- there are a few scientists on this board ;)
Posted by Ana_2985[/QUOTE]

HEY!

I learned my my Intro to Astronomy class that EVERYTHING is made from dead star guts.

ANDPLUSALSO I know that diamonds are made of carbon molecules, and carbon is found most abundantly in coal deposits, and coal is made from peat which is compressed for lots and lots of years...... AND......... peat is made from dead plants from ages and ages ago. I may have just been trying to be dramatic and slightly gross with the dinosaur part because I think too much value is placed on diamonds. BUT you know I bet some dinosaurs fell into those swamps and died.... so..... maybe that's what the "freckles" in my ring are. Bits of dead dinosaur that DIDN'T turn into diamond.

<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

(Yes I know that's not what it is. Let me have my fun!)

babybchbum

If you are so concerned about the 4Cs and having a lab report, I feel you are too shallow to get married.

your BF should know what his budget is and should stay under that. You shouldn't be getting a ring to try and compete with others (which is how I am reading your original post)

Please let your BF do the shopping and if he asks for your opinion that is when you give it to him.

JenniferB27

I wouldn't worry about ring shopping unless your BF asks your opinion. Guys have sneaky ways of finding out what you like (ie: asking your best friend or mom or someone). Plus, I know when my friend's FI went ring shopping, the salesperson told him all about the 4 C's and all that other good stuff. IMO, jewelry can be pretty no matter what some little report says.

Ana_2985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:e3d1374f-e44d-4245-9221-a89452248f14">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring Shopping! : HEY! I learned my my Intro to Astronomy class that EVERYTHING is made from dead star guts.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

Sorry!  I know.  That part is true.  But diamonds are way older than dinosaurs!

honeybee724

I love dinosaurs so personally, I'd be thrilled to find out that my ring was once a dinosaur.  But thats just me.

jnish

you should check out pricescope.com they are all about diamonds there and have very usefull information. Depending on what your bf wants to spend an engagement iring s an investment. I personally would not spend thousands of dollars on something without some research.

Norway_T

My diamond, (which I have net to see) is an SI2, L color, excellent cut. we went down in clarity and color to get a better cut. Go as low as you can possible stand with color and clarity. The only way to do this is actually go luck at the diamonds and see what you actually liked. I fell in love with diamonds that have a slight yellow tint, which are much cheaper. Some people however prefer icey white.

lavender_fairy

Whoa! I think the point of my post got lost somewhere.

@Katanne9: Thanks for the info. I do know a little about the 4 Cs and the differences between each one. I was mostly looking for information on the differences between grading labs, though.

lavender_fairy

also, to everyone else: I am looking at rings and diamonds to inform myself, and NOT to tell my bf exactly what I want or what he should get me. I guess that was an assumption most people made, but I just want to clarify that I am looking to educate myself and not boss my bf around. I'm doing my research because an ER is an investment that is supposed to last forever, and sentimental value aside, I just think it is smart to get as much information as I can about an investment. Plus, it's kind of fun looking at designs and such tbh.

Anyway, I'm concerned about grading reports because they are supposed to tell you about diamonds, and each one is different. To my understanding, people buy diamonds with lab reports to make sure they know everything about the stones. And, purely from a consumer's standpoint, if I am going to make a purchase as important as a diamond (and in this case an engagement ring), I want to make sure that I am getting the best quality I can that fits under my budget.

lavender_fairy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:74908162-c89f-494b-b985-ddcdb9931b3f">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]you should check out pricescope.com they are all about diamonds there and have very usefull information. Depending on what your bf wants to spend an engagement iring s an investment. I personally would not spend thousands of dollars on something without some research.
Posted by jnish[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the website.
I don't want my bf to spend a lot, but ultimately it's up to him, and I do know that setting a budget is the first step. I definitely agree with your last sentence, which is why I thought I would ask for advice/information here...although my efforts have been fruitless <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

Acrosthec

If you just want to look and research to educate yourself, I think that's fine.  I love learning new things, and strive to do so every day. 

But you have to understand that on this board we deal with a TON of girls that do "want to do research, wink wink nudge nudge" so that they *can* tell their BF's what kind of ring to buy them and pester them about it, so it's only natural for us to make that assumption until you clarify that we're not correct.

For general knowledge, I have heard the pricescope is the best.  Unfortunately, that's about the best help I can give, as we knew from the start we were going to use my grandma's ring, so neither of us ever did any research on diamonds because we weren't going to buy any.

Ana_2985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:0599e34d-9563-4985-aaf9-6f06c11b05cf">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring Shopping! : Thanks for the website. I don't want my bf to spend a lot, but ultimately it's up to him, and I do know that setting a budget is the first step. I definitely agree with your last sentence, which is why I thought I would ask for advice/information here...although my efforts have been fruitless
Posted by lavender_fairy[/QUOTE]

I did give you advice and so did others.  You said people told you that you needed to have one to determine what the diamonds properties were.  I told you, no you don't NEED one.  You can go to an appraiser. 

But okay, if you want one the best are GIA and AGS.  I'm sure you can find that on any diamond information site more easily than a "not engaged yet" site.  The pricescope site would be much better suited to your needs than this forum.  Not that people here don't like to help when they can.

EDIT:  Also, in my opinion, diamonds really aren't an investment.  Do you plan on selling your diamond someday?  Probably not.

And if your biggest concern is saving your BF money than you really shouldn't put so much emphasis on the 4Cs.  They just give jewelers a reason to jack up prices.  The easiest way to find something is to know your budget and find something you love in that price range regardless of what a report would say.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:3326f694-fa8d-4194-8904-f8641ec3b99f">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]If you are so concerned about the 4Cs and having a lab report, I feel you are too shallow to get married.
Posted by babybchbum[/QUOTE]

Um...shallow people are allowed to get married, too.

I don't see anything wrong with educating yourself about the C's and the various labs out there.

Unless you're really into jewelry, I think you're fine going with any of the major labs (GIA, AGS, EGL).

My then BF and I set a budget together, I did research, then gave him an idea of what to look for for each C along with a few pictures of styles I liked, and he shopped. Worked great for us.

Pretty sure our marriage won't be any less valid b/c of the e-ring, how we shopped for, or what it looks like.

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:bdfef03c-cd8b-4b42-a835-85c4c71333ed">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]also, to everyone else: I am looking at rings and diamonds to inform myself, and NOT to tell my bf exactly what I want or what he should get me. I guess that was an assumption most people made, but I just want to clarify that I am looking to educate myself and not boss my bf around. I'm doing my research because<strong> an ER is an investment that is supposed to last forever, and sentimental value aside, I just think it is smart to get as much information as I can about an investment</strong>. Plus, it's kind of fun looking at designs and such tbh. Anyway, I'm concerned about grading reports because they are supposed to tell you about diamonds, and each one is different. To my understanding, people buy diamonds with lab reports to make sure they know everything about the stones. And, purely from a consumer's standpoint, <strong>if I am going to make a purchase as important as a diamond (and in this case an engagement ring), I want to make sure that I am getting the best quality I can that fits under my budget.</strong>
Posted by lavender_fairy[/QUOTE]

They aren't "an investment" at all, thats just a gimick that jewelers use.  Trust me if you try to sell a diamond you get no where near it's value even with paperwork... been there (I'm divorced and sold my e-ring for half of what he paid which was nearly a third of the "value" because he got it on sale and had earned Santa bucks at Kay by purchasing the diamond then goinq back and building a custom setting and using the bucks to save a few hundred dollars)!.

Also, If you are getting married with the intention of it lasting forever then the value of the investment should not matter. 

Something pretty and the sentiment behind it matters more than anything else!


Ummm, wait are you purchasing your own engagement ring or what?  You refer to educating yourself and your budget etc. ... thats odd I thought that the budget would be determined by the boyfriend who was purchasing a ring within his budget to give his girlfriend and ask her to marry him?! 

jeanacorina

It's not an investment. Unless, you plan to get divorced and sell it someday....

But even than, as PP said, you don't get MORE for it, you get LESS. So, I dunno, that doesn't sound like "investing" to me.

Go go gadget marketing!

noelle24

Unless you've talked to your BF, which you say you haven't, and have agreed to purchase the ring *together*, it isn't YOUR budget or YOUR investment.  It's his.

There's nothing wrong with researching things just because you want to know more about them just for the heck of it. 

But color me skeptical about your true motives on posting here.

future-mrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:658db47e-b049-43bb-bc90-de45d302fd16">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]They aren't "an investment" at all, thats just a gimick that jewelers use.  Trust me if you try to sell a diamond you get no where near it's value even with paperwork... been there (I'm divorced and sold my e-ring for half of what he paid which was nearly a third of the "value" because he got it on sale and had earned Santa bucks at Kay by purchasing the diamond then goinq back and building a custom setting and using the bucks to save a few hundred dollars)!.[/QUOTE]

This.  Seriously.  I, too, came from a similar situation with my ex-fiance...The best offer I got on a $6K ring was $1,500....yeah.  My now FI and I got lucky because we were able to trade in my old e-ring and get it's value for a new one.... but we had to trade up.  Don't buy into the malarky about investments and you have to have this and that.  The only thing paperwork might be good for, is to insure your ring and you'll have to have an appraisal for that as well. 

Let b/f find your ring for you.  If he approaches you and wants you to pick it out, fine, start looking then. 

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-shopping-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:8110b6d1-8fe8-43cc-8a5c-79078d58c988Post:7bfe7bab-7911-4637-9f77-8377cee73731">Re: Ring Shopping!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ring Shopping! : This.  Seriously.  I, too, came from a similar situation with my ex-fiance...The best offer I got on a $6K ring was $1,500....yeah.  My now FI and I got lucky because we were able to trade in my old e-ring and get it's value for a new one.... but we had to trade up.  Don't buy into the malarky about investments and you have to have this and that.  The only thing paperwork might be good for, is to insure your ring and you'll have to have an appraisal for that as well.  Let b/f find your ring for you.  If he approaches you and wants you to pick it out, fine, start looking then. 
Posted by future-mrs[/QUOTE]

Are you the former Future-Mrs.-Ray? 

NM - Supposedly the two of you have different names.  However, your timeline of when you got together with your FI (and out of a complicated situation) was somewhere around the time she disappeared.  And add in the ginormous e-ring...