My boyfriend proposed!!!

sgarless

But I didn't give him an answer.....

I'm still wearing the ring, of course. It's an 1950s heirloom from his great-grandmother. I appreciate it because he wanted to give me something very special for a very long time and it's a very pretty ring.

As for the engagement, I did not feel it was real. For one, I wasn't excited at all about it. I pictured I would always cry or jump up and down when I get asked. I actually said "are we really engaged" and he nodded. Another thing I'm confused about is we had a fight the day before but forgave each other hours later. I don't think he fully believes we're ok.

I'm taking this as a "pre-engagement" ring. I figure he needs to change more (he was involved with drugs before and is still addicted to pills) and he can ask me again.

I don't really have a question. I just needed to explain this because I'm confused

melizabethp

I think if it were me, I wouldn't be wearing the ring until I gave him an answer. Did he treat the ring like an engagement ring? Then, by wearing what he gave you as an engagement ring, aren't you essentially saying one thing with your hand & another with your mouth? Especially when you don't think it was a real engagement because it didn't live up to your expectations? I think you two need to get on the same page about this, particularly if you have had problems in your relationship. Either you're engaged or you're not.

Also, while we're on the subject, I personally don't see the logic in a "pre-engagement ring" or a "promise ring." (But that's mostly from personal experience, having gotten a promise ring in college from a boy who dumped me two months later.)

cu97tiger

There are so many red flags in that post, I can hardly count... but here's my two cents.

He asked you to marry him and offered you the ring as a sign of engagement. If you didn't feel it was real, you shouldn't have accepted the ring. Give it back, regardless of how pretty it is, or how much you like wearing it, and work on the stuff you two need to work on for you to feel like you are 'excited' about marrying him.

sgarless

He didn't say whether or not it was an engagment ring. He did say it was a gift for me, though. I guess I could keep it somewhere and not wear it

GoldenPenguin

eirwyn

 

melizabethp

eirwyn, the Picard facepalm is always a nice touch. I salute you.

LaSak87

lavenderfields13

Dude, you're wearing his grandmother's heirloom ring. Give it back. This is just wrong on so many levels.

prbright

Oh Sundays.

Chelseaclayy

You should give the ring back if you don't consider yourself engaged. Maybe spend sometime focusing on the problems in your relationship. Red flags everywhere.

Also- you don't have to jump up and down or cry or get the holy gost when he proposes. This isn't the movies, FFS

Chelseaclayy

BriSox- where is that girl from? I see that picture everywhere. It's hilarious!

LilTexasGal

Wow... just wow. You are on a whole other level of BSC. You seriously aren't daft enough to think that it is just a gift. Are you wearing the ring on your left ring finger? "Pre-engagement" gah, you're nuts. Goodness me, you sound like a selfish spoiled girl. The proposal wasn't what you wanted but you still took the ring? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

I have so many things I want to say, and most of them aren't very nice, so I won't say those things. However, I second the notion that you making him repropose while you are wearing his grandma's ring makes you win the douchette award of the year. Give the ring back.

Seriously. -_-'


**Snark level unusually high today... perhaps my DTV antena falling across my fence has something to do with it.... and we don't even have DTV anymore. RAWR!**

lavenderfields13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_my-boyfriend-proposed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:87abfdd9-69a1-4d6b-bfd3-3db5460ddb2aPost:bcd6a5b9-5e32-435d-8c29-442dc7012285">Re: My boyfriend proposed!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]BriSox- where is that girl from? I see that picture everywhere. It's hilarious!
Posted by Chelseaclayy[/QUOTE]

She does Youtube videos- Jenna Marbles. I think she's hilarious!

LilTexasGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_my-boyfriend-proposed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:87abfdd9-69a1-4d6b-bfd3-3db5460ddb2aPost:ad1c6f46-407f-4bf4-8da2-39e12782290c">Re: My boyfriend proposed!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My boyfriend proposed!!! : She does Youtube videos- Jenna Marbles. I think she's hilarious!
Posted by leese19[/QUOTE]

Isn't she the girl who did the "How to make an ugly girl look hot" video? Or something along those lines?

Chelseaclayy

Hmm. I've never heard of her! Looks like I'll go waste some time on YouTube

melizabethp

Watching some Jenna Marbles now. OH MY GOD I DIE.

eirwyn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_my-boyfriend-proposed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:87abfdd9-69a1-4d6b-bfd3-3db5460ddb2aPost:5e3125d4-f671-441d-ac8f-583b89e8cbb1">Re: My boyfriend proposed!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]eirwyn, the Picard facepalm is always a nice touch. I salute you.
Posted by melizabethp[/QUOTE]
It has a way of saying so much without using actual words. :-D

lavenderfields13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_my-boyfriend-proposed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:87abfdd9-69a1-4d6b-bfd3-3db5460ddb2aPost:498bf067-4085-446c-babc-602c8866fb0f">Re: My boyfriend proposed!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My boyfriend proposed!!! : Isn't she the girl who did the "How to make an ugly girl look hot" video? Or something along those lines?
Posted by LilTexasGal[/QUOTE]

That's her- the video where she does that face that Bri posted is the first one i saw and got me hooked

LilTexasGal

Well I've spent the last 10 minutes or so watching her vids. LOL. Awesome stuff.

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_my-boyfriend-proposed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:87abfdd9-69a1-4d6b-bfd3-3db5460ddb2aPost:98192733-43c7-4e23-a31a-4e543f8c2218">My boyfriend proposed!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]But I didn't give him an answer..... I'm still wearing the ring, of course. It's an 1950s heirloom from his great-grandmother. I appreciate it because he wanted to give me something very special for a very long time and it's a very pretty ring. As for the engagement, I did not feel it was real. For one, I wasn't excited at all about it. I pictured I would always cry or jump up and down when I get asked. I actually said "are we really engaged" and he nodded. Another thing I'm confused about is we had a fight the day before but forgave each other hours later. I don't think he fully believes we're ok. I'm taking this as a "pre-engagement" ring. I figure he needs to change more (he was involved with drugs before and is still addicted to pills) and he can ask me again. I don't really have a question. I just needed to explain this because I'm confused
Posted by sgarless[/QUOTE]
<span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:115%;font-family:'Calibri','sans-serif';">How old are you again?

Look if he has problems with drugs that you want fixed why did you say yes?  Also a proposal doesn't have to feel real.  I didn't cry or jump up and down (I did scream but that was later after the shock had worn off)

HE clearly thinks you are engaged.  You need to set him straight.  Give him the ring back.  Tell him you're not ready.  I don't think unlike others here that wanting him to have the drug thing under control is bad but have you talked to him about this???  You need to communicate with the poor guy. 

BTW there is no such thing as a pre engagement ring that just sounds stupid.</span>

kellyt89

I wouldn't jump up and down if my BF who was addicted to pills proposed to me either...then again I probably would have said no to so what do I know?

*headdeask*

Elle1036

I am just so confused.

SKP82

You're almost 30... are you still living with your parents (from one of your previous posts)?

You're wearing an HEIRLOOM ring that you don't consider an "engagement ring," even though your boyfriend proposed when giving it to you.  It's not  "gift."  It's an ENGAGEMENT ring and you have no right to keep and/or wear it if you are not going to accept his proposal. 

WHY IN THE HELL do you have three exclamation points after your subject if you didn't give him an answer and don't consider yourself engaged??

You said, "I'm still wearing the ring, of course," right after you said you didn't give him an answer.  NO ONE in their right mind would expect you to be wearing a ring your boyfriend gave you when he proposed unless you said YES!

You asked him if you were engaged, he nodded yes, and you're still not considering yourself engaged?  You need help.  Seriously.

Give the ring back to him if you aren't ready to marry him, for Christ's sake.

eirwyn

I had to look her up. I love the "Drunk Makeup Tutorial".

Peaseblossom55

We need RDR to post her prince icon...

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_my-boyfriend-proposed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:87abfdd9-69a1-4d6b-bfd3-3db5460ddb2aPost:326e3c8f-cc59-4ec3-816a-6e2eef7bb6a1">Re: My boyfriend proposed!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]We need RDR to post her prince icon...
Posted by danser55[/QUOTE]

I can help you there.


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mymissingpuzzlepiece

WTF man... 

eirwyn

mymissingpuzzlepiece

lol that's so perfect 

RWS2011

Maybe he's a pill popper, but you're pulling a Winona Ryder.  You get to keep the pretty heirloom ring after you say yes to his proposal.  Work on the relationship until you are both in the right frame of mind to make this commitment.