Not Engaged Yet

Re: Wow...

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    becunning2becunning2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Shoes, you get the best comment of all of 'em:  "You don't come with a goat!"

    *Snort*
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    leia1979leia1979 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    There was a similar one on Budget Weddings earlier this week:
    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_budget-weddings_ex-husband-wont-pay-wedding-expenses

    The crazies (or trolls) are out in full force. Though the one above says she's the MOB, so her daughter is the crazy.

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    edited December 2011
    Everyone knows that if your parents don't pay for your wedding, the marriage is doomed.
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    leia1979leia1979 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wow-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:89bcabfe-769a-4896-b0b6-22e2d2b74d3dPost:71021b5e-52ae-41b7-b58c-7f1d8e1fae10">Re: Wow...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Everyone knows that if your parents don't pay for your wedding, the marriage is doomed.
    Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

    I'm DOOMED!!

    Seriously, Shoes, I snorted at your comment. That has to be MUD, though. If someone's dad was nearing retirement and working overtime to make ends meet, no sane person would ask him for money. And yeah, I know the qualifier here is "sane," but you only need to be kind of sane to recognize that.
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    caitlin.cavecaitlin.cave member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Bluh.  My parents will most likely help a bit when the time comes, but never would I ask them to let my new husband and I shack up in their basement or whatever.  For that matter, I don't plan on my SO ever living in my parents' house.  If you can't support yourself, you don't get married.
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    cu97tigercu97tiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Seriously... she barely makes enough to pay the bills but wants 120-200 people at a country club wedding? If I were her, I'd take that $10-15k she's planning on spending, spend $500 of it on renting a pavilion, hot dogs and potato chips, and spend the rest on getting the heck out of her mom's house. But that's just me.

    On a side note, and I may get flamed for this: Both my parents are retired. I do not EXPECT anything from them, but I will honestly be disappointed if they don't contribute. The only reason is that I know they gave my sister five figures for her wedding. I'm the eldest daughter, and 35 years old, so it's not like they didn't know I'd get married some day. They've always tried to treat my sister and I equally, but from some comments my dad has been making, it will probably be significantly less than they gave her.

    I will NOT stomp my feet or ever say anything like this to my parents. I willl, however, have a little knot in my stomach. However, I do not sit around worrying about it, since 1) they don't HAVE to give us anything, and it is generous of them to give us anything at all. 2) My sister had a $45,000 wedding, and I don't want to come in anywhere near that (without having fleshed it all out, BF and I are thinking under $15k). 3) Ok, flame away and tell me what a terrible person I am for even remotely thinking this!
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    jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I don't think you are a horrible person cu...it's one thing to expect money out of the blue, but it's another when they've already given one sibling a significant amount of money and then could possibly leave you high and dry.

    My parents did that with my sister's college.  They paid her tuition, paid her rent, bought her books, etc...but when I started college (only a year later), I had a pretty significant scholarship, so my parents told me "well you don't need as much help"  which was true, but it still sucked that they paid for everything for her and paid literally $0 for me.  Don't get me wrong, I'm proud that I was able to do it on my own, but the biggest thing that really pisses me off about the situation is that my sister dropped out of college with ONE class left to go.  ONE FREAKING CLASS!  It just makes me mad that she basically threw all of their money away and essentially spit in my face because I had to do it all on my own.  It still pisses me off, but honestly, I'm mad at my sister, not my parents.
    Anniversary
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    motoLynmotoLyn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Cu97Tiger no one is going to flame you.  Its not the fact that you want money from your parents, but that you're parents treat you and your sister the same way.  Unfortunately life isn't like that and no matter how parents say they love their children all equally they don't show it that way.  My younger brother, the baby of the family they bought a Lexus for as his first car.  WHEN HE WAS A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL.  I got my my first car when I graduated from college (Toyota Matrix) and parents only put a down on it.  I made monthly payments till I finished out the loan.  So let's say I was resentful for a while.  But I learned that its something I can't do anything about.  They helped me in other ways.  And so I think acknowledging it now and coming to terms with it will help you with it later. 
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    cu97tigercu97tiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies! It might also help if I think of it in percentages, rather than numbers. My parents paid for about 20% of my sister's wedding, and since mine will be much less expensive, it will probably come out to roughly the same, if not more. Plus, we'd be getting married in AZ instead of my hometown, so they'll have extra expenses that they didn't have for her. All in all, it will work out just fine as long as my dad is there to walk me down the aisle! (PS Considering having both my parents walk me down. My mom has always felt that we were more 'daddy's girls' so I kind of like the gesture).
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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    "You are made of win." -SopChick
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