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Not Engaged Yet
Shabar09
member
Engagement Envy rears its ugly head
Tonight, BF and I were hosting a small party for two close friends who got engaged on Sunday. I was and have been super excited for them, they make a great couple. It's definitely hard though, since BF and I have been together for more than a year longer than them and while I realistically know that everyone works on their own timeline, there is always a part of me saying "It's not fair!"
Any of you lovely ladies been through this same thing? In my head, this jealously doesn't make sense for many, many reasons, but it doesn't make it go away.
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Re: Engagement Envy rears its ugly head
I know why BF and I are waiting and I'm glad that we are waiting until it's right for us but every once in awhile I do feel a twinge of jealousy when I see friends of mine getting engaged and married while I'm not. But I'm still extremely happy for them.
I think as long as you don't let your jealousy consume you and you let it go quickly then it's really not a big deal. Obviously, you are happy for your friends and being a bit jealous doesn't make you any less happy for them. Just make sure you let it go and focus on all of the good things about your relationship and the way it's moving.
Anyhow. Don't let it consume you. Be happy from them and if you hang out with them too much and it really gets to be too much for you, just back off a bit.
Good luck.
As long as you guys have spoken about marriage, the future and have a time line you have nothing to worry about. Your day will come and when it happens it will be really special. I told BF I wanted it to be a surprise so it does give me something to look forward to. I know it will be the perfect time for us.
Right now I try to enjoy the relationship as it is, without the added stress of wedding planning or buying a house. I also revel in the fact that my dating days are done, I've been dating for so long the search for the most amazing guy in the world is over and I have him!!!! Once you are engaged the dating period is over and once he proposed that excitment and anticipation is gone too. I try to enjoy the now as much as possible, keep very active and try to give us lots of other things to look forward to in our relationship besides the pending engagement.
Sorry didn't mean to ramble for so long!
You know what cures engagement envy?
A good dose of SYTTD and wine.
Looking back now though, I must admit i'm glad we waited. We truly know each other's families and our wedding is going to be even more fun because of that! We've received so many engagement cards & phone calls, all of our friends have one by one taken us out to dinner or done something special with us recently to celebrate. It's been wonderful and I don't think it would have been as exciting if we hadn't been together so long. Everyone is truly anticipating our wedding and it makes the entire process so much more exciting.
Try to be patient. Focus on your career, your home, your financial goals...anything but marriage. Not only will they help to take your mind off of an engagement, you'll be completely ready in all other aspects of your life to "take the leap" when the time actually comes.
Good luck! Stick around the board too...it has definitely helped me the past couple years!
I usually let myself feel jealous for a minute but then remind myself how great my relationship is. Who cares if we aren't engaged, we are still the most supermegafoxyawesomehot couple in world!
[QUOTE]Definitely been there before. This month BF and I will have our 7 year anniversary. We have friends getting married who dated for less than a year before getting engaged. I'm just like you, it definitely makes me want to scream, "why isn't it my turn yet?!" Even though realistically I know it isn't a race. I usually let myself feel jealous for a minute but then remind myself how great my relationship is. Who cares if we aren't engaged, we are still the most <strong>supermegafoxyawesomehot </strong>couple in world!
Posted by lovelyheather[/QUOTE]
Love that!
[QUOTE]Definitely been there before. This month BF and I will have our 7 year anniversary. We have friends getting married who dated for less than a year before getting engaged. I'm just like you, it definitely makes me want to scream, "why isn't it my turn yet?!" Even though realistically I know it isn't a race. I usually let myself feel jealous for a minute but then remind myself how great my relationship is. Who cares if we aren't engaged, we are still the most <strong>supermegafoxyawesomehot</strong> couple in world!
Posted by lovelyheather[/QUOTE]
WHAT?!?!? Is there another AVPM fan around here? Please say yes!
[QUOTE]I completely understand your feelings BF & I have been together almost 3 years now and<strong> we are in our 30's</strong>. There have been quite a few friends ours lately who have gotten engaged recently who are younger and have been together a shorter period of time. It can get frustrating. As long as you guys have spoken about marriage, the future and have a time line you have nothing to worry about. Your day will come and when it happens it will be really special. I told BF I wanted it to be a surprise so it does give me something to look forward to. I know it will be the perfect time for us. Right now I try to enjoy the relationship as it is, without the added stress of wedding planning or buying a house. I also revel in the fact that my dating days are done, I've been dating for so long the search for the most amazing guy in the world is over and I have him!!!! Once you are engaged the dating period is over and once he proposed that excitment and anticipation is gone too. I try to enjoy the now as much as possible, keep very active and try to give us lots of other things to look forward to in our relationship besides the pending engagement. Sorry didn't mean to ramble for so long!
Posted by danser55[/QUOTE]
I'm in my 30's as well, never been married, (big hug)
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement Envy rears its ugly head : WHAT?!?!? Is there another AVPM fan around here? Please say yes!
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
YES!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement Envy rears its ugly head : YES!
Posted by lovelyheather[/QUOTE]
Squeeee!
Now everyone I know is already married and pregnant... so sometimes I feel left behind. But God works in his own time, and it will happen when it happens. If life went according to my plan I would have probably been divorced by 25.. so Thank God he has a better plan for me. Just keep your head up!!! And dont feel bad for feeling this way. It's completely normal, and possible to be happy for your friends while dealing with your own feelings
[QUOTE]You know what cures engagement envy? <strong>A good dose of SYTTD</strong> and wine. :)
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]
Works every time.. except sometimes it makes me jealous of their bodies!!!
My heart hurts constantly.
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
[QUOTE]You know what cures engagement envy? A good dose of SYTTD and wine. :)
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]
<div>that does help :) </div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engagement Envy rears its ugly head : Works every time.. except sometimes it makes me jealous of their bodies!!!
Posted by abwatts[/QUOTE]
That's why you drink the wine. Eventually, you just turn into a cold hearted biiiitch. It's a fun game.
[QUOTE]You know what cures engagement envy? A good dose of SYTTD and wine. :)
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]
I totally agree. Every time I start to feel jealous, I watch SYTTD or "Four Weddings", and I immediately think, "Eff that. I'm so glad I don't have to plan that ish yet."
Besides, I don't usually get Engagement Envy, I get Baby Envy which in my mind is equally if not more irrational in my mind cause BF and I are no where near prepared for a little one!
I totally understand what you're going through too! The other day a friend of a friend changed her status to "engaged" on facebook (& she's been dating her SO for not even HALF as long as I've been dating mine), & it put me in a foul mood for the next few hours. You are definitely not alone!
*edited for grammar