hopeful holiday engagements

laurae29

I know that I can't be the only one who gets her hopes up around every holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc. It's just so hard not to! I have been with my BF for 8 years--since we were juniors in HS. Now, at 24 we've been through a lot and certainly seen our fair share of holidays, and i'm familiar with the feeling of the "let down", if you will.

Of course, the bright side is that it's exciting and fun to imagine what it would be like if... Im trying to keep my cool and simply enjoy the holidays for what they are and not what they might be.

Can anyone else relate? Or am I totally crazy, lol?

motoLyn

I felt like that when my bday came along, and it didn'thappen.  I knew I was being ridiculous dwelling on him proposing on my bday.  I really didn't like the idea of holiday proposal, at least not for me.  Just focus on your family, the holidays and keep yourself busy.

MissOwl

Most waiting ladies feel like that from time to time. The best advice I've gotten on these boards is to keep yourself busy. cooking, running, reading, taking classes, whatever works for you.
In my head I have a little rule that keeps me from talking about wedding things too much: Every time you talk about it, it gets delayed one month.
Helps me keep my mouth shut about wedding/engagement talk and enjoy my relationship now.

PaigeMcC

I think it's normal to get excited around holidays -thinking that "it" might happen.  But really, the best advice I can give you, is to stop thinking about it as much as possible.  Focus on other things, let it happen, let it be a surprise and enjoy what you've got now.  These things happen on their own time.  Enjoy your holidays and if it happens it's a bonus.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hopeful-holiday-engagements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9caefb35-a8e3-4ac8-870f-543132068b26Post:b0513daf-67d8-4fef-b79e-c28b13e7f76b">hopeful holiday engagements</a>:
[QUOTE]I know that I can't be the only one who gets her hopes up around every holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc. It's just so hard not to! I have been with my BF for 8 years--since we were juniors in HS. Now, at 24 we've been through a lot and certainly seen our fair share of holidays, and i'm familiar with the feeling of the "let down", if you will. Of course, the bright side is that it's exciting and fun to imagine what it would be like if...<strong> Im trying to keep my cool and simply enjoy the holidays for what they are and not what they might be.</strong> Can anyone else relate? Or am I totally crazy, lol?
Posted by laurae29[/QUOTE]

Do this. Follow your own idea. Focusing on it won't do you any good.

jemmini6

Neither FI or I liked the idea of a holiday proposal, just because literally everyone we both know that got engaged recently (last 5 years) has been on either Christmas, New Years, Easter, 4th of July, anniversary, or birthday.  Nothing against getting engaged then, but it's just so...'predictible' for our group.

Needless to say, I wasn't hoping or expecting it last Christmas (we'd also only been together just over a year, and I knew he wouldn't propose that soon anyways).  I did sort of hope for it on our trip to Puerto Rico in May, but he said "vacations are too predictible too".  So when we went to Hawaii in September, I wasn't expecting it, but lo and behold....  he was just trying to throw me off, and it worked, I was completely surprised when he proposed and it was perfect.

Long story short, it can happen anytime and it felt better because I wasn't 'expecting it'.  So try to put it out of your mind because if it does happen, it adds to the surprise and if it doesn't happen, you won't be disappointed.

laurae29

I agree with what everyone is saying. I know what I should be doing and I am keeping busy! I think catching myself feeling this way is an improvement from other years. I also agree that holidays can be too predictable or cliche for engagements, but I won't be complaining if it happens. =] MissOwl, I like your idea of not talking about it or thining about it. I think that might help! Anyway, thanks for the support ladies. And engaged, married or not I hope you all have happy holidays!

marleylikeair

For awhile this summer, my friends and I all thought BF would propose by this Xmas. Now, things have slowed down a little. I've been dreaming of a Christmas proposal, maybe with all my family there. Maybe next year. As PPs have suggested, I'm just trying to keep busy. Miss Owl--I like your rule. I'll remember that one.

StarGazingHiker

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hopeful-holiday-engagements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9caefb35-a8e3-4ac8-870f-543132068b26Post:3732d93f-d367-425e-ba3a-becaa07f1e47">Re: hopeful holiday engagements</a>:
[QUOTE] In my head I have a little rule that keeps me from talking about wedding things too much: Every time you talk about it, it gets delayed one month. Helps me keep my mouth shut about wedding/engagement talk and enjoy my relationship now.
Posted by MissOwl[/QUOTE]

Love it! I'm going to remember this one!

OP-  I've felt this way before, but he's told me that holidays and anniversaries are predictable and he wants it to be a complete surprise, so fortunately around holidays I don't think about it. Good luck and PP have good advice, do something else to distract you! Especially around the holidays, you can distract yourself with baking... mmmm cookies... so going to bake some cookies/fudge now...

Edited for grammer

Ana_2985

Yes, I think you are totally normal.

If you weren't excited about it what would be the point? Maybe I'm a freak, but every time I thought it might happen but didn't just added to the excitement. I don't see why thinking about it will take away from the enjoyment, surprise, or anything really. Thinking about it is not the same as bugging your BF about it.

Of course, thinking about it and obsessing are two different things. It sounds like you're just thinking about it which, IMO, is totally fine. To me it's only a problem is someone is upset when it doesn't happen.

tiffk10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hopeful-holiday-engagements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9caefb35-a8e3-4ac8-870f-543132068b26Post:b0513daf-67d8-4fef-b79e-c28b13e7f76b">hopeful holiday engagements</a>:
[QUOTE]I know that I can't be the only one who gets her hopes up around every holiday, birthday, anniversary, etc. It's just so hard not to! I have been with my BF for 8 years--since we were juniors in HS. Now, at 24 we've been through a lot and certainly seen our fair share of holidays, and i'm familiar with the feeling of the "let down", if you will. Of course, the bright side is that it's exciting and fun to imagine what it would be like if... Im trying to keep my cool and simply enjoy the holidays for what they are and not what they might be. Can anyone else relate? Or am I totally crazy, lol?
Posted by laurae29[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm right there with you! BF and I had our 7 year anniversary about 2 weeks ago and though I will admit I was a little disappointed that it didn't happen I was really proud of myself that I shrugged it off and didn't dwell on it. But, I wont lie and say that I am not hoping just a little bit that he will propose while we are both at home for break. </div><div>
</div><div>Do some reading or something really fun to keep your mind off it. I plan on doing some leisure reading over the break and spending as much time as I can with friends and family to try and keep my mind preoccupied. I can be your sanity buddy if you need one!

</div>

DeereGal41

Nope, not crazy! Along with the holidays, my birthday and our anniversary is right away in January...so there's definetly a few times it could happen. But for right now I'll just keep myself busy. A lot of reading and I've become slightly obsessed with cooking different things (if anyone has any amazing recipes PM me!) so hopefully it will help. Just waiting for "perfect time" like he said!

mattycam

I know how you feel. I knew that my FI was going to propose soon (because we booked our hall last year) but I didn't know when or how. So New Years passed, nothing. Valentine's day passed, nothing. Trip to Montreal passed, nothing. I thought he would maybe do it on our anniversary (Aug 17th - since that was the next "big" day) but instead he surprised me with a trip to Niagara Falls the night of June 12th and proposed there. So my dear, my point is you don't know when your proposal is coming but when it comes it will be beyond your expectation

kdwyer4

Im hopeful, but wont be heart broken if it doesnt happen. I am just excited to spend time with both of our families. I just realized today is only 10 days until Christmas, and I have somthing going on all but one of those days! Not much time to think about anything other than work =/

Miss Owl...your rule is one that I need to adopt myself!

laurae29

I am pretty sure it won't be this christmas (which it totally ok with me!). Christmas is more about family and I don't want to be the center of attention, nor do I want to play it down because it's Christmas. but maybe it would be nice for our 8 year anniversary in Feb. I think he's waiting for me to be done with grad school (which will be September) so maybe then i can start crossing my fingers! =]

calindi

The idea of expecting a proposal on a major holiday never really crossed my mind, so I don't get anxious leading up to big events.

Besides, I know it's not coming yet.  The diamond is still sitting in my drawer.  But still, I would bet that it'll happen on an otherwise ordinary day.  Or maybe our anniversary.  But it's more likely to happen while we're traveling somewhere together than on a holiday.

GreenPepperBurger

Yesterday, BF and I went to see the tree at Rockefeller Center (actually, we went to my father's office, and it was on the way). Of course, I felt very magical and asked BF if would ever consider proposing to me by the tree. His response? "Hell no! That's so cliche."

Sometimes I wish for a holiday proposal, but I know that no matter WHEN we get engaged, the day will automatically be made special.

joiner521

I got thr proposal when my now fiance came with me to my national pageant this past july. He did it while overlooking the St Louis arch. It is more precious when it is unexpected. Be patient.

bethsmiles

I know its not coming for at the very absolute least 4 months. But I'm kind of expecting the proposal next fall, but we'll see. I know he won't do it around the holidays though - its just not his style.

[Deleted User]

My Mom told me a couple times she thinks BF will propose on my birthday in March. I told him and he laughed. He's saving for the ring and won't have anywhere near what he wants to spend by then. My current fantasy is that he'll whisk me away for a trip to the outer banks and propose there. But who knows. He told me he has a few ideas.

calindi

Owl, that's a great rule!  I'll have to keep that in mind.

We drove past the jewelry store where we looked at rings today, and BF turned and said, "Did they ever find another of the ring you liked that was discontinued?"  And I said, "Uh, no - they gave you that information, that's in your hands now."  And so sparked the engagement talk...

I know the source of income he's using to pay for the ring won't come until this summer, so it calms the nerves.  Even if he puts it on his credit card a few months before, it won't be until the end of spring semester.

Last summer, I thought it would be on the trip we took in October.  But as the trip approached, I knew it wasn't the right time and that it wasn't going to happen, so I wasn't disappointed.  Right now, I figure before our trip to Costa Rica in October - or during.  I wouldn't object if it was during the trip!

bryantkm

My boyfriend and I picked out the ring a couple months ago, and I know he picked it up recently...now it's just the waiting game...when will be the right time for him to propose? Ahhh it's driving me up a wall, but I really want it to go just like he wants it to, so I'm not bringing it up at all anymore. I know this sounds overly hopefully, but I'm crossing my fingers for this weekend...

Simply Fated

I don't get excited like that during the holidays for an engagement. An engagement, to me, isn't a present. It's more like a question followed by an answer and, if all goes well, a promise to be married.

Someone want to explain to me why there is engagement on the brain more so during the holiday season than the rest of the year?

mzm153

My BF met my folks and talked to my father alone one-on-one. But the talk was too short, so I am not expecting anything yet and besides, we can't afford a wedding or moving in together anytime soon. It could be in a Christmas, New Years, any Holiday, or even any ordinary day. No matter what day it will be the best day of my life.

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hopeful-holiday-engagements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9caefb35-a8e3-4ac8-870f-543132068b26Post:512b3a1c-950d-4fc4-80c2-86a2e76069ef">Re: hopeful holiday engagements</a>:
[QUOTE]My BF met my folks and talked to my father alone one-on-one. <strong>But the talk was too short</strong>, so I am not expecting anything yet and besides, we can't afford a wedding or moving in together anytime soon. It could be in a Christmas, New Years, any Holiday, or even any ordinary day. No matter what day it will be the best day of my life.
Posted by mzm153[/QUOTE]

I'm not saying that is was "the talk" but FI's talk with my dad went like this
FI: Can I ask Emily to marry me?
Dad: Can you support her?
FI: yea
Dad: ok.
..and that's it. Neither of them are really talkers.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hopeful-holiday-engagements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9caefb35-a8e3-4ac8-870f-543132068b26Post:0d277338-ac63-4014-8a98-9f4214709060">Re: hopeful holiday engagements</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: hopeful holiday engagements : I'm not saying that is was "the talk" but FI's talk with my dad went like this FI: Can I ask Emily to marry me? Dad: Can you support her? FI: yea Dad: ok. ..and that's it. Neither of them are really talkers.
Posted by MLekathLEEN[/QUOTE]
Sounds like FBD and Dad's conversation.<div>
</div><div>FBD: I'm going to ask Paige to marry me.</div><div>Dad: I think that's a good idea. Congratulations.</div><div>FBD: Thanks.  </div><div>Dad : Let's have a beer.</div><div>
</div><div>The end.</div>

GreenPepperBurger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hopeful-holiday-engagements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:9caefb35-a8e3-4ac8-870f-543132068b26Post:d51e3036-71ac-47ee-9507-7e3000267ebb">Re: hopeful holiday engagements</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: hopeful holiday engagements : Sounds like FBD and Dad's conversation. FBD: I'm going to ask Paige to marry me. Dad: I think that's a good idea. Congratulations. FBD: Thanks.   Dad : Let's have a beer. The end.
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]


Hahaha. I can imagine the convo between BF and my father.

BF: I'm going to propose to your daughter.
Dad: Cool! So who do you like in the Giants game?

coastiegrl25

Soo I am just going to make FI re-propose around Christmas when we go to NYC. I feel  that it would be so much better at the Rockefeller Center under the big tree.  Of course that's not going to happen sillies. But its a freakin sweet idea to think of.

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_hopeful-holiday-engagements?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:9caefb35-a8e3-4ac8-870f-543132068b26Post:5b35597d-9e0e-4813-a6d0-9576de8c7383">Re: hopeful holiday engagements</a>:
[QUOTE]Soo I am just going to make FI re-propose around Christmas when we go to NYC. I feel  that it would be so much better at the Rockefeller Center under the big tree.  Of course that's not going to happen sillies. But its a freakin sweet idea to think of.
Posted by coastiegrl25[/QUOTE]

It would only count if you were both wearing ice skates and a I <3 NY scarf.

[Deleted User]

I actually hate the idea of a "Holiday" proposal... like ON Christmas, Valentine's Day, etc.... and BF has mentioned a few times that he wants to do it on my birthday (NYEve) which made me cringe...

Although, I've pretty much convinced myself that he's not in any position to propose with how things are going with his job... So, I'm not 'getting my hopes up' for a holiday proposal... Which is so much better for my state of mind... At this point, whatever happens, happens...

heyimbren

My friend hated the idea of a Valentine's Day proposal. Guess when her FI proposed? February 15th ahah. She tried to "drop hints" that she didn't want a Valentine's proposal, so he just waited an extra day.

I love Christmas (as I'm sure most of you know by now haha) but I could care less about the day of a proposal. Holiday or not, I'm just not picky about that.