Do you wear jewelry from previous SO's?

DanieKA

BF has given me nice jewelry. I like it and wear it because he was thoughtful enough to get it for me. To tell you the truth, it's not exactly my style, but I'm pretty creative when it comes to accessories and it works. 

An ex of mine, from years ago, bought me a gorgeous necklace from Tiffany that I love. The relationship wasn't anything close to what I have with BF. I was young and he was, quite frankly, way too old for me. He was nice, and showed me what it was like to be treated well, not monetarily, but he was a very sweet man. Just not for me.

I've worn the necklace since then, even recently, just never around BF. Well we're going to a wedding this weekend and I pulled out my dress and the first thing I thought of was, "oh, that necklace would look nice with this dress." But then I hesitated. 

Is it weird to wear things from previous BF's? I clearly haven't given or sold the necklace since we started dating, but the thought of wearing it to this wedding with BF gave me pause. 

Do you wear things given to you from other guys? 

jilld82

I don't think it's weird.  It's weird if you make it weird.

I have lots of jewelry from exes that came from tiffany's(I'm obsessed with the store) and I still wear it on occasion because I love the jewelry and not because it has anything to do with the fact that it came from my ex.

McKenna2012

Yes, I wear jewelry from exes.

marleylikeair

To me, personally, it's weird. I don't do it. I'm absolutely not making a judgement about what someone should or shouldn't do about this, but that's my personal opinion.

Ember01

Personally, I feel weird in jewelry from my ex. I sold it all a couple months back, and walked away with a couple hundred dollars. It felt a lot better spending that money than wearing the jewelry.

bakes218

No. I sold it all for the cash.

DanieKA

Sweet. I don't know why I was weirded out by it. I think I'm just making more out of this than there is. It's two hearts, one gold, one silver and I just got a little bit awkward with myself. Too much symbolism in my head!

Those two hearts now stand for mac and cheese. My ultimate food love! Seriously though, every time I look at that necklace now I'll think of mac and cheese. 

EDIT! Crap, more responses! Thanks guys! Yeah, I know some of my friends don't do it for various reasons, but I've never had a problem with it until now. Maybe the fact that I paused should tell me not to do it. I don't want to get rid of it, but wearing it to this particular occasion just might not be right for me. 

Then again, maybe the necklace has more meaning than I thought. Maybe I should give it away for that reason. Now I'm all confused again. 

heyimbren

I don't, but I don't have any nice jewellery from them either.

I guess to me, it's more sentimental. I do have my own taste, and while BF has bought me some stuff that isn't my style, I still wear that more than anything else because it reminds me of him and the thought he put into it.

calindi

Clearly if you haven't worn it around your BF yet, then it doesn't feel right.  I don't think I'd mind wearing jewelry that someone else gave me around my guy, because I wouldn't put that kind of emotional attachment on it.  But if it feels wrong, then perhaps it's time to trade it in for something that doesn't hold that emotional attachment so you can wear it whenever.

For what it's worth, my grandma has gotten jewelry from tons of men over the years (she's a total pimp).  And she wears it all with no qualms.  At the end of the day, unless it has a personalized engraving with "TM JD" on it, then it's just a piece of jewelry.  The significance is applied by the owner, not the piece of jewelry.

Also, how would your BF feel if he knew it was given by someone else?  I mean that literally - is he the type to be bothered by it?  I know my guy wouldn't care at all, so I think that's part of why I wouldn't mind wearing jewelry around him that was given by someone else.  If he's the type to be bothered by it, then even more reason to trade in the necklace.

DanieKA

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wear-jewelry-previous-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a004648b-aea3-4173-ae4c-6acd83cd13b7Post:f9bdca52-1762-46cd-93b4-c81bf9054bac">Re: Do you wear jewelry from previous SO's?</a>:
[QUOTE]Clearly if you haven't worn it around your BF yet, then it doesn't feel right.  I don't think I'd mind wearing jewelry that someone else gave me around my guy, because I wouldn't put that kind of emotional attachment on it.  But if it feels wrong, then perhaps it's time to trade it in for something that doesn't hold that emotional attachment so you can wear it whenever. For what it's worth, my grandma has gotten jewelry from tons of men over the years (she's a total pimp).  And she wears it all with no qualms.  At the end of the day, unless it has a personalized engraving with "TM <3 JD" on it, then it's just a piece of jewelry.  The significance is applied by the owner, not the piece of jewelry. Also, how would your BF feel if he knew it was given by someone else?  I mean that literally - is he the type to be bothered by it?  I know my guy wouldn't care at all, so I think that's part of why I wouldn't mind wearing jewelry around him that was given by someone else.  If he's the type to be bothered by it, then even more reason to trade in the necklace.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I think it's awesome that your grandma is such a pimp! That story made me smile. BF doesn't know about this necklace. He hasn't ever seen it (since I don't wear it around him...red flag number one, I guess) </div><div>
</div><div>I have this gold love knot ring I wear sometimes. He asked about it once and wondered if a guy had given it to me? It was a little bit in a curious/fishing nature. Turns out I bought that at some jewelry party for myself, so no scandal there. </div><div>
</div><div>I think I know in my gut that he might be uncomfortable with it. I don't think he'd ever tell me not to wear it, but I wouldn't want to knowing he wouldn't like it. </div><div>
</div><div>Now I need to figure out what to do with a piece of jewelry I love. I guess I'll sell it and get something else. I have been checking out a few things on the tiffany website. Maybe it's time to get myself something new that I'll love even more. </div><div>
</div>

Wrkn925

No. 

My jewelery from past SOs:
-gold, marquis shape diamond cluster ring. -sold.
-gold, heart shaped pendant with some random jewel on it. (bottom of a box somewhere.)
-gold, heart-shaped stud birthstone earrings-wrong birthstone, from Ex's Mom. (Somewhere at my Mom's, I find them every once in awhile and go 'eww'.)

IF I had something worth wearing, I probably would.

What does your BF think about it?  What do you think would happen if you asked him?

Wrkn925

C alindi, your grandma sounds like mine.

She's awesome.  She lends me jewellry all the time.  The woman has more gold than Fort Knox. 

She once broke up with a man because he called her a 'jewellry freak.'

She's been married 6 times.  She married/divorced  two of her husbands twice.

If I wanted a gold wedding band, she has a few to choose from.

Hazel_B

i think it is a little strange how you are making it weird.

If the necklace is your style then I don't see a problem with it. If it were a piece that wasn't your style and your BF could clearly see that, then there would be a problem.

Essentially, the piece is what you make of it. If you are really sentimental with physical items, probably not a good idea, but if you get past that easily, then not an issue.  

hannahnola

I don't think it weird, its not like its an engagement ring you are wearing (i.e. Emily from Bachelor). Just think of it this way, its a nice piece of jewelry, you have no attachment to him anymore so why let a designer piece of jewelry go to waste?

DanieKA

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wear-jewelry-previous-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a004648b-aea3-4173-ae4c-6acd83cd13b7Post:66a51d26-4234-4d1f-afdd-b2ffc742af1a">Re: Do you wear jewelry from previous SO's?</a>:
[QUOTE]i think it is a little strange how you are making it weird. If the necklace is your style then I don't see a problem with it. If it were a piece that wasn't your style and your BF could clearly see that, then there would be a problem. Essentially, the piece is what you make of it. If you are really sentimental with physical items, probably not a good idea, but if you get past that easily, then not an issue.  
Posted by Hazel_B[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Yeah, I hear you. I guess I just didn't realize I had any significance attached to this particular piece until now. I have other stuff from previous SO that's just sort of there. This, I guess, is different. I'm making more of this piece than the others, I guess because it meant more than the others. I don't know why. I still think about this guy occasionally and talked to him off and on for years after we broke up. I genuinely wish him the best, but didn't love him. I suppose you could say he was my best relationship before now, and this is the symbol of my first real, grownup relationship. Which was, thankfully, with a nice guy. </div><div>
</div><div>But it's time to move on. What I have now is better. And if the necklace gives me pause, even though it might not give others pause, I should let it go.  </div>

skyler1108

The only piece of jewelry I have from an ex are a pair of earrings. They were not my style but I wore them to be nice. When we broke up I never wore them again because I was not crazy about them to being with. I still have them but I am not sure where they are. I may sell them if I find them since I doubt I would ever wear them again.

oceana919

I think if I had a piece of jewelry from an ex that I was still on good terms with (I can think of one or two off-hand), I would wear it. If FI asked where it came from, I'd be 100% honest about it.

I have an aquamarine necklace that an ex gave me, and our breakup was pretty nasty. I've been debating whether or not to keep it...I'm pretty sure FI and I are going to pawn it and put whatever money we get from it towards the wedding.

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wear-jewelry-previous-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a004648b-aea3-4173-ae4c-6acd83cd13b7Post:de1e22c9-e542-4c0d-b8b3-f7868f729dbc">Re: Do you wear jewelry from previous SO's?</a>:
[QUOTE]C alindi, your grandma sounds like mine. She's awesome.  She lends me jewellry all the time.  The woman has more gold than Fort Knox.  She once broke up with a man because he called her a 'jewellry freak.' She's been married 6 times.  She married/divorced  two of her husbands twice. If I wanted a gold wedding band, she has a few to choose from.
Posted by Wrkn925[/QUOTE]

My grandma's not so cool.  She's manipulative and selfish, which is probably why she's been married so many times.  I'm actually not "allowed" (per my Mother's request) to tell my Grandma that my diamond is from her Mom's ring because she was pretty bitter that my Great-Grandma gave it to my Mom in her will instead of to my Grandma.  She'd throw a fit and demand I give her the diamond as it's "rightful owner".

And my Grandma would loan me her jewelry on a cold day in hell - she says I get it all in her will, but I couldn't care less - I don't want it.  Chances are she's giving everything to my brother anyway as I truly believe he's the only male she's ever loved - she's a bit creepy with my brother, and is trying to chase his girlfriend away.  Like I said, creepy!

loves2shop4shoes

No.  I still have jewelry from my exes, but that's because I haven't gotten around to selling it yet.

Wrkn925

Wow.

And I didn't talk to my Grandma for two weeks when she called me fat.

You win the BSC grandma award.

NurseyK

Nope! My sister and I have this pact that we give each other jewelry from exes. It's awesome for me, because she goes through way more boyfriends than I ever have. 

loves2shop4shoes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wear-jewelry-previous-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:a004648b-aea3-4173-ae4c-6acd83cd13b7Post:6066bf77-7e25-456d-bbba-f299c393a6e1">Re: Do you wear jewelry from previous SO's?</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope! My sister and I have this pact that we give each other jewelry from exes. It's awesome for me, because she goes through way more boyfriends than I ever have. 
Posted by NurseyK[/QUOTE]


LOL!  That's awesome!

NurseyK

I know! It's perfect because I can always say, oooh my sister gave it to me!

DanieKA

Aw man, Calindi! I wish your grandma was cooler. Pimpin' ain't easy, you know. Maybe the years have just worn on her. 

NurseryK, I also have a friend who gave all her ex-related jewelry to her sister. The sister made out like a bandit! Really nice stuff and recipient sister's husband is like, "Awesome! I don't have to get stuff for a while!" He likes it just as much as she does. 

cu97tiger

DanielKA - I'm with other posters on here... it would be fine for you to wear the jewelry if you felt ok with it. Since you're feeling a little 'off' about it, that probably says you should sell it, and buy yourself something else from Tiffany's that has no exes attached.

The only thing I have from an ex is a diamond and gold bracelet from my last HS BF. I have NO qualms about wearing it  

PS- I found some pictures of me and an ex from a New Years party a few years ago. Do I just throw them away and act like they never happened? Or leave them in the box with the hundreds of other pictures that I only look at once every two years?

kibo8

My BF's opinion on jewelry given to me from an ex is that it's just a piece of jewelry I like, so why wouldn't i wear it? I'm not getting rid of my IPOD just because it was a gift, so why would jewelry be different.

Elle1036

This thread makes me wish I had some jewelry from a previous relationship.  I have none, but would love the opportunity to sell some.

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wear-jewelry-previous-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a004648b-aea3-4173-ae4c-6acd83cd13b7Post:7789b64a-e58d-40a9-ba9b-3c4304b4e404">Re: Do you wear jewelry from previous SO's?</a>:
[QUOTE]Aw man, Calindi! I wish your grandma was cooler. Pimpin' ain't easy, you know. Maybe the years have just worn on her. 
Posted by DanieKA[/QUOTE]

Wish it were true, but she's always been this nuts!  I've told my Mom several times that the only reason I have a relationship with her at all is because it would break my Mom's heart otherwise (and my Grandma would drive her nuts). 

Not to threadjack, but Wrkn, about the being called fat - my Grandma already asked if she could go dress shopping with me and I politely told her no, it will just be me and my Mom since I have 3 grandmas and my FMIL and FSILs, so it would be too many cooks in the kitchen.  She got all moody and grumpy, so I told her that she could come see me for a fitting once I buy it, which seemed to mollify her.  Except my guy pointed out that she's going to hate the dress no matter what I pick and say what areas need to be taken in to "hide my imperfections" and tell me how unflattering it is.  He's totally right, and now I'm dreading it. 

LizzyTish88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wear-jewelry-previous-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:a004648b-aea3-4173-ae4c-6acd83cd13b7Post:d872360f-3f8d-496a-9ff1-26b854a57ff9">Re: Do you wear jewelry from previous SO's?</a>:
[QUOTE]This thread makes me wish I had some jewelry from a previous relationship.  I have none, but would love the opportunity to sell some.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

Same.

Wrkn925

Accidently forget to tell her?

Schedule the fitting when she has an important drs appt? 

peekaboo2011

Actually, funny story about this.  I was once crowned "Vice President of Diamond Rings After One Week".  This creep I was dating bought me a blue topaz and diamond ring as a promise ring before I left for Germany.  We'd been dating a month.  When we broke up, I mailed it to him, and someone stole it out of the envelope.  Seriously, he got the envelope with the note saying "never speak to me again" and it had a corner torn off of it.

I have a silver dipped ginkgo leaf that a boy bought me in Germany.  We were never together, but that was his intention.  I love that leaf, and I think of him when I wear it, but not in that sense.  It's a pin/necklace, and took residence on a formal dress for a while.  It's pretty sweet.

As for BSC grandmothers with lots of jewelry, grandma used to go to all these formal dinners, so she's got a TON of jewelry, most of it fake.  When I called to tell her I was engaged she asked about my future wife (she thought I was my brother...) and when I told her about grad school, she asked how I liked middle school.  She thought I was in 8th grade.  Sigh.  But the fake rocks she has are huge.  I don't think I want any of her jewelry though, just the cedar hope chest she has...