7 years and No Ring :(

Panda2005

I've been dating my boyfriend since high school. We've both since graduated from college and have talked about getting married but he still has yet to propose. I'm working full time in Chicago and he's finishing up graduate school in Iowa. In December he asked my ring size and the style ring I want-good sign right? Since then, I haven't heard of the subject. We've past many holidays that would be a good proposal opportunity-Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, my birthday, our 7 year anniversary. I'm getting sick of waiting. What should I do?

catemeg

Be patient!  If he asked your ring size, he seems to have something in mind.

On the flip side, it's probably time for a sit-down adult discussion.  Not a whiney session "when are we getting married?" or an ultimatum ("You marry me within a year or I'm leaving!")  It's a serious discussion of, "Okay, I love you.  You love me.  We've been together 7 years.  I see us getting married at some point, is that something you see?  It is?  Great!  What timeline were you thinking?  I don't want to ruin any suprises you might have up your sleeve, but do you expect to get married within, say, 2 years?"

katanne9

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:7a21827f-a4b6-4ae1-bb92-022301f2cf42">7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been dating my boyfriend since high school. We've both since graduated from college and have talked about getting married but he still has yet to propose. I'm working full time in Chicago and he's finishing up graduate school in Iowa. In December he asked my ring size and the style ring I want-good sign right? Since then, I haven't heard of the subject. We've past many holidays that would be a good proposal opportunity-Christmas, New Years, Valentine's Day, my birthday, our 7 year anniversary . I'm getting sick of waiting. What should I do?
Posted by Panda2005[/QUOTE]

Have you discussed a tentative timeline of marriage? This should be something you discussed. If you are unsure of your timeline you may want to bring it up.

FWIW, my FI asked me my ring size and styles I liked nearly 2 years before he proposed.

Ana_2985

I think everyday is a proposal opportunity, no?

Decide what's more important to you.  Being with the person you love and have spent seven years of your life with, or being engaged right now?  If it's the latter, just leave him.

If not, be patient.  Know that if you force him to propose you will regret it very much.  If you wait, until he is ready also you will never have to wonder whether or not he really wants to marry you.

oceana919

Chill out. That's what you should do.

Seriously, there are girls on this board whose FIs/BFs asked about their ring size, even purchased a ring, then waited several months to over a year to propose. One girl on here has an FI that actually left the ring sitting on the dresser in plain view for a year before he proposed. It will happen when it's meant to happen.

All I can tell you is relax. Relax, relax, relax. Enjoy this stage of your relationship and the excitement that comes with the anticipation. You'll miss that stage when you're battling with your mother over cake toppers and wishing you had eloped.

PaigeMcC

PPs have given good advice.  Relax!

dwest2201

Relax and have the where do you see this going and when do you see this happening talk!

**Mutley**

My husband must really love me.  We were only dating a year before he proposed.  And he was so excited to do it that he didn't even have a ring.  Your boyfriend must not be that into you. 


Or you could listen to the PPs.

Buggalo

I can see why you'd be frustrated, but the PPs are giving good advice. Just relax. Breathe. If he asked for your ring size and styles you like, it's pretty obvious that he's thinking about proposing. But a little communication never hurt anyone. So just talk to him. If you've been together that long, then you should be comfortable talking about all sorts of things.

sunkisssed006

I completely feel your pain. I just had my six year anniversary with my boyfriend. I thought he was going to propose and he didn't. We are high school sweet hearts too. You just need to talk to him if it's bothering you. And I completely understand why it is. When my boyfriend and I talked I realized he already knows when and where he is going to do it and it will be within the next year. That helped me relax and just enjoy this part of our relationship. If you know that it's coming that should help you. If he acts like it's not even on his mind then I guess you have some decisions to make. Just talk to him, you may be surprised.

darkling_glory

Oh, Panda, I can empathize. My FI and I were together for around 8 years before we got engaged (though we started dating when I was 17, so there was some reason for that).

What, I suggest is just what PP have said. Sit down with your BF and ask him if it's a good time to have a serious discussion. Then, lay it all out there. Tell him you love him, you see him in all your visions of the future, and you'd like to marry him someday. If he feels the same way, he'll say so. Then, tell him that, you'd like to see if your timelines for "someday" match up.

Once you've had that talk, you can decide what you want to do.

What you shouldn't do is flip out, start yelling (or crying) and have an arguement about it. Not that you would, necessarily, I'm just saying. Rational conversation goes a long way.

Good luck!

desertsun

Ditto darkling -- RATIONAL conversation is key!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have a plan for the future -- that's just good common sense. 

Hazel_B

I agree with pps on this one.

Also, you mentioned he is finishing up grad school. Does he have the money to buy a ring that you and he would be happy with? Asking your ring size could have been part of his research and establishing a budget.

Just relax and have a timeline conversation with him.

jeanacorina

Aww, Mutley. That made me sad. You sounded so serious!

My husband and I were together over 5 years when he proposed to me. He probably knew my ring size for most of that time, and we talked about engagement ring styles for like a YEAR before he bought one and proposed.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:b2b05082-7449-418a-8e2c-153c9507ab1a">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]Aww, Mutley. That made me sad. You sounded so serious! My <strong>husband</strong> and I were together over 5 years when he proposed to me. He probably knew my ring size for most of that time, and we talked about engagement ring styles for like a YEAR before he bought one and proposed.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>teeheehee!</div>

ekathleen684

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:7a2d903f-b0c7-4583-9d45-6c2a051e5f74">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 7 years and No Ring :( : teeheehee!
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

I thought the same thing!!

jeanacorina

Me too! Today while talking to a classmate, I called him my fiance, and the guy said "You mean husband" and I was like woops! Yes, I mean husband.

And then Josh called me from work (which I don't have programmed in my phone) and said "Hey! This is your husband!" and I was like "Woah, it is huh? That's funny."

Sorry for the threadjack, but yes... it's totally giggle-worthy to me.

chipypony

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:a8515046-4679-4dc2-9623-481858c1ff8f">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 7 years and No Ring :( : I thought the same thing!!
Posted by ekathleen684[/QUOTE]

Me too

Oh and to the OP, just relax, he will get around to it. Grad school is stressful enough without having to worry about affording a ring

steffieallen

"My husband must really love me.  We were only dating a year before he proposed.  And he was so excited to do it that he didn't even have a ring.  Your boyfriend must not be that into you."
 ^ that was bitchy, don't listen to her, it sounds like she's trying to convince herself he "really" loves her.

"One girl on here has an FI that actually left the ring sitting on the dresser in plain view for a year before he proposed. It will happen when it's meant to happen."
^that's crazy!  I would've just started wearing it. 

Yes, be patient, surprises are wonderful, timelines are better in my opinion, so if you see the opportunity to get some kind of plan out of him, then go for it.  Otherwise, keep dropping hints and be someone he'd want to propose to.  If it goes on for too long for you to stay sane, dump him.

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:f204f491-cb86-40d0-a970-ab8cee7bef0a">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]"My husband must really love me.  We were only dating a year before he proposed.  And he was so excited to do it that he didn't even have a ring.  Your boyfriend must not be that into you."  ^ that was bitchy, don't listen to her, it sounds like she's trying to convince herself he "really" loves her.
Posted by steffieallen[/QUOTE]

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P.S. I am awesome in bed.  That is the real reason he proposed.  It had nothing to do with love and I don't kid myself about that.  I am just killer in the sack and he knew life couldn't get any better.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:f204f491-cb86-40d0-a970-ab8cee7bef0a">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]"One girl on here has an FI that actually left the ring sitting on the dresser in plain view for a year before he proposed. It will happen when it's meant to happen." ^that's crazy!  I would've just started wearing it. 
Posted by steffieallen[/QUOTE]

She is the crazy one? Um, okay.  <a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '2b314f29-4e7e-4fe9-b67a-73450462ce30', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/11/6/2b314f29-4e7e-4fe9-b67a-73450462ce30.medium.gif" alt="" /></a>

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:f204f491-cb86-40d0-a970-ab8cee7bef0a">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, be patient, surprises are wonderful, timelines are better in my opinion, so if you see the opportunity to get some kind of plan out of him, then go for it.  Otherwise, <strong>keep dropping hints and be someone he'd want to propose to.</strong>  If it goes on for too long for you to stay sane, dump him.
Posted by steffieallen[/QUOTE]
<a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '2b314f29-4e7e-4fe9-b67a-73450462ce30', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> </a>
How's that working out for you?  You've been on here a year and still no engagement?  Your boyfriend must not really love you to not be picking up on your hints. 

I am curious as to what a woman does to be someone he'd want to propose to.  Does this include making engagement chicken cake? 

katanne9

*Gets out lawn chair and reclines

It's been too long since a Mutley throwdown occured.

Goldlie11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:1c9e0bb9-7170-48a7-b4fb-740ee6ccaf04">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: 7 years and No Ring :( : P.S.<strong> I am awesome in bed.  That is the real reason he proposed.  It had nothing to do with love and I don't kid myself about that.</strong>  I am just killer in the sack and he knew life couldn't get any better. In Response to Re: 7 years and No Ring :( : She is the crazy one? Um, okay.  In Response to Re: 7 years and No Ring :( : How's that working out for you?  You've been on here a year and still no engagement?  Your boyfriend must not really love you to not be picking up on your hints.  I am curious as to what a woman does to be someone he'd want to propose to.  Does this include making engagement chicken cake? 
Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]
Mutely, you are a riot.

Buggalo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:f204f491-cb86-40d0-a970-ab8cee7bef0a">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]"My husband must really love me.  We were only dating a year before he proposed.  And he was so excited to do it that he didn't even have a ring.  Your boyfriend must not be that into you." <strong> ^ that was bitchy, don't listen to her, it sounds like she's trying to convince herself he "really" loves her.</strong> "One girl on here has an FI that actually left the ring sitting on the dresser in plain view for a year before he proposed. It will happen when it's meant to happen." ^that's crazy!  I would've just started wearing it.  Yes, be patient, surprises are wonderful, timelines are better in my opinion, so if you see the opportunity to get some kind of plan out of him, then go for it.  Otherwise, keep dropping hints and be someone he'd want to propose to.  If it goes on for too long for you to stay sane, dump him.
Posted by steffieallen[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh no she didn't. </div>

PaigeMcC

*pulls up chair next to Kat*
This should be fun.

jeanacorina

Engaugemint cihkiin cakkee wirked 4 meeee!!111!11111eleven!!!

Honestly, Mutley was being sarcastic. Before you go calling people bitchy maybe you should get to know them a little better.

raw1299

you need to really sit down with him and have a very serious long talk about your future together. its been 7 years for gods sake!!! personally, if it were me, i'd give him a date that if he doesnt propose by, then its goodbye. why be with someone for so long if you dont want to marry them?

raw1299

thats messed up, and that guy is seriously messing with his girlfriends head. thats not right. thats like saying "yea i have it, but you dont diserve it yet"

katanne9

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:bfeefe49-6415-460c-96e0-20a2465f1cb2">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]you need to really sit down with him and have a very serious long talk about your future together. its been 7 years for gods sake!!! personally, if it were me, i'd give him a date that if he doesnt propose by, then its goodbye. why be with someone for so long if you dont want to marry them?
Posted by raw1299@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

Yes. Because ultimatums are always a good idea.

oceana919

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:432fc1d7-d7ac-45a5-87c8-fcfe89858dcb">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]*Gets out lawn chair and reclines It's been too long since a Mutley throwdown occured.
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

::starts popping popcorn and making mojitos::

oceana919

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_7-years-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:adccc119-15c4-4230-a65b-1fcda2a3d73dPost:f204f491-cb86-40d0-a970-ab8cee7bef0a">Re: 7 years and No Ring :(</a>:
[QUOTE]"My husband must really love me.  We were only dating a year before he proposed.  And he was so excited to do it that he didn't even have a ring.  Your boyfriend must not be that into you."  ^ that was bitchy, don't listen to her, it sounds like she's trying to convince herself he "really" loves her.[/QUOTE]

It's called <em>sarcasm</em>, sweetie. ::pats head and hands lollipop::

Oh, and Mutley has the right to be bitchy. She grows people. What do you do?

[QUOTE]"One girl on here has an FI that actually left the ring sitting on the dresser in plain view for a year before he proposed. It will happen when it's meant to happen." ^that's crazy!  <strong>I would've just started wearing it</strong>.[/QUOTE]

You're one of those girls who used to just take sh*t out of her sisters closet without asking because you felt like it, aren't you?

[QUOTE] Yes, be patient, surprises are wonderful, timelines are better in my opinion, so if you see the opportunity to get some kind of plan out of him, then go for it. <strong> Otherwise, keep dropping hints and be someone he'd want to propose to.</strong>  If it goes on for too long for you to stay sane, dump him.
Posted by steffieallen[/QUOTE]

Yes, and if that doesn't work, just get pregnant. That will do the trick.

desertsun

Guys, I just had the BEST idea!

All these ladies need to do is plan a surprise engagement party -- their BFs will be FORCED to propose then!!!!

ice rink, anyone?