He asked my ring size...
We have been together almost two years. We have talked about marriage for a while, and its not a matter of "if", but a matter of "when". He told me when he proposes it will be a surprise. Every once in a while one of our friends will ask "When are you two getting married?" and he never ever seems put off; quite the opposite he participates in conversation and talks about having a small wedding...etc.
The other day we were watching TV and a jewelry commercial came on. The couple was getting engaged, and I elbowed him (in a hinting kind of way). The ring showed on the TV and he said "What size?" I thought he meant the carat size so I said, "I don't know, I can't tell" and he said, "No, what size do you wear?"
Needless to say I haven't stopped smiling since then. But now my brain is going non-stop wondering what he would pick out...and I have no idea whether he knows my taste. I mean, I hope he does after almost two years, but what if he picks out something I hate?
So my question is...how do you help him understand your likes/dislikes without coming across as a snot? I don't have anything picked out in my head, but I know what I don't want.
What would you do?
Re: He asked my ring size...
Ditto Desert, sit down and have a serious conversation about it. My FI really wanted to do it all on his own. I showed him a few pictures online (a year + before he proposed) and he picked out a beautiful ring that I love.
That doesn't work for everyone but the point is that we were able to have an adult conversation about it without him feeling pressured. In the grand scheme of things this is little compared to other decisions you will have to talk about and come to some sort of agreement on.
If you don't want to go with him, a conversation abou styles you like and don't like will help him out. Show him some pictures online. Personally, I'm in the camp of picking the ring out along with the guy so that we're on the same page, but I understand that this doesn't work for everyone.
Oh, and ditto Katanne - just because he asked now does not mean that a proposal is imminent.
GL.
The next time you both are talking about getting engaged, or he asks your ring size, or whatever, just ask him "Hey, I know I'll love whatever you buy for me. Would it make it easier on you if I showed you some things I liked?"
I highly recommend going to a store with him and browsing together. My FI and I went to a couple different stores (Tiffany's in NYC was fun) and I found out that I didn't like the look of princess cut on my hand and didn't like thicker bands. FI told me he didn't like solitaires for me. Then I let it drop and let him go from there.
Also, ditto PPs. Just because he asked now, doesn't mean the proposal is imminent. FI and I looked at rings a little over a year before he proposed. So just relax and enjoy this stage of your relationship!
Okay, now for the common sense - it's just a comment. He's SUGGESTING that he's THINKING about buying you a ring. I know we all like to take a small comment and build a whole castle around it with stars and fireworks, but really for now it's just a comment. Have a conversation with him about how he thinks of the whole thing - if either of you have a specific timeline in mind, if he wants to totally surprise you, if he wants input on rings, if he wants you to go shopping with him for rings, etc. This doesn't have to be an immediate thing - as BF told me, he wanted to have the conversations far enough in advance that he could still make it a surprise when it all actually happens.
For us, the cost of the ring was so significant for our budget that BF decided he wanted to make the decision together. Since we already share expenses and a mutual budget, it made sense for us.
We picked out two rings, both of which I love, at two different stores. Now it's up to him. And I will be surprised - I won't see the finished ring with the center stone until he proposes.
What? Too soon?
GL
[QUOTE<strong>]I really dont get why some people are so weird about this</strong>....I mean there are couples out there who pick the ring out together ( not my first choice as I like suprises!) but still...<strong><font color="#ff0000">My bf</font></strong> knows my ring size and we have been ring shopping various times to see size/shape/ price range. While I still want him to suprise me...what guy do you know that can just go out and pick your dream ring? I mean you will be wearing this (hopefully) the rest of your life. If I see something I like in a magazine or on-line <strong><font color="#ff0000">I send it to my bf so that he knows exactly my taste and prefernece when he goes and gets the ring....Don't leave it to chance!</font></strong> haha GL
Posted by NIKIKRUISE[/QUOTE]
What people are weird about this? Your post makes no sense.
Well, you aren't leaving much to chance anyways.
Posted over on May 2011
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2011-weddings_memorial-day-weekend-brides-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:645Discussion:8afc27b2-e09a-4e32-8e93-71eb17290931Post:c4ba268b-1e92-48cf-b4fb-bedbaedbc842">MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND BRIDES</a>:
[QUOTE]Has anyone run into any problems yet? Vendors more expensive/ uncooperative? Only willing to send assitants etc.? Thanks!
Posted by NIKIKRUISE[/QUOTE]
Poster over on her local
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_rehersal-dinnersbridal-showers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:116Discussion:33ab4348-f98d-4545-9716-cc52d280bc7ePost:77340ee0-4302-429f-97d0-9bfd9822b513">Rehersal Dinners/Bridal showers</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey ladies where are you all having/ or have had your rehersal dinners and bridal showers? I am looking to get some ideas of places people have had or booked these events to get some feedback. Thanks!
Posted by NIKIKRUISE[/QUOTE]
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_calling-grand-hall-priory-bridesor-anyone-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:116Discussion:c7195891-556d-4c51-9b05-4926aa1d721aPost:05fb5bf1-26a4-45b6-abf3-dbc71a858f72">Calling all GRAND HALL AT THE PRIORY BRIDES...or anyone with info!</a>:
[QUOTE]Anyone having/had their wedding here who can share some info? I really like it and was wondering prices/ insight you could share. Thanks Ladies! Nicole
Posted by NIKIKRUISE[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]I really dont get why some people are so weird about this....I mean there are couples out there who pick the ring out together ( not my first choice as I like suprises!) but still...My bf knows my ring size and we have been ring shopping various times to see size/shape/ price range. While I still want him to suprise me...what guy do you know that can just go out and pick your dream ring? I mean you will be wearing this (hopefully) the rest of your life. If I see something I like in a magazine or on-line I send it to my bf so that he knows exactly my taste and prefernece when he goes and gets the ring....Don't leave it to chance! haha GL
Posted by NIKIKRUISE[/QUOTE]
DISAGREE!! If he knows you and your tastes he should be able to determine what you'd like if he wants to go it alone.
My FI did the whole ring process by himself. He asked me a few questions, but I wasn't involved at all. I couldn't imagine anything else.
When FI and I started talking marriage, I actually specifically asked him how he would feel about me showing him what kind of ring I would like - I'm very particular with jewelry, and I wanted something that would work in field and lab settings. He was thrilled - he had no idea where to begin and was kind of hoping he could covertly work info out of me. We sat down together and I found a style I liked - he took the specs to a private jeweler and had them make me a ring, so there was a piece of me and a piece of him in it. Really simple process. All it took was one adult 20-min conversation.
"Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons
Planning / Married / Blog
[QUOTE]All it took was one adult 20-min conversation.
Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]
Ugh, stop being so uppity!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: He asked my ring size... : Ugh, stop being so uppity!
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KATANNE'S BEING MEAN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::footstomp::
"Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons
Planning / Married / Blog
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: He asked my ring size... : MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KATANNE'S BEING MEAN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::footstomp::
Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]
Silly newb mod stops being mod when you stretch it out and our mod is a vegetarian so don't moo at her!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: He asked my ring size... : Silly newb mod stops being mod when you stretch it out and our mod is a vegetarian so don't moo at her!
Posted by Button5807[/QUOTE]
Ok.
::deep inhale::
JEANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! KATANNE AND BUTTON ARE BEING MEAN TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::foot stomp::
::adjusts tiara::
"Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons
Planning / Married / Blog
MUAHAH!
For Kat, it worked for them not to look together. For Oceana, the exact opposite.
Only by talking with your boyfriend about what works for him, and figuring out how involved you want to be, will you have an answer for what's best for you.
My comments were aimed at Nikikruise. This - "Don't leave it to chance" - attitude annoys me.
::run and tackle::
Give me back my tiara, beotch, or I'm keeping your copy of the cookbook hostage.
"Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons
Planning / Married / Blog
Okay okay! Here it is!! Plus cookies!
My BF and I have thrown around the idea of just using a costume jewelry ring for the suprise part and then picking something out together. That way we have both the surprise aspect and the picking something we both like aspect.
I'm just worried he's going to get me a one-inch diameter cubic zirconia as the costume ring! He says, "If you're gonna go fake, go big!"
I haz a planning bio
[QUOTE]NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Okay okay! Here it is!! Plus cookies!
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]
Thank you.
::adjust tiara::
You're back in my good cookbook graces. Don't let it happen again.
::footstomp::
"Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons
Planning / Married / Blog
[QUOTE]Ooh, tiara. Just kidding, I'm staying far away before the fisticuffs break out. My BF and I have thrown around the idea of just using a costume jewelry ring for the suprise part and then picking something out together. That way we have both the surprise aspect and the picking something we both like aspect. I'm just worried he's going to get me a one-inch diameter cubic zirconia as the costume ring! He says, "If you're gonna go fake, go big!"
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]
Haha! That's cute, and a nice compromise so he can surprise you AND you can pick out a ring you love.
BF would get a huge ridiculous goofy one, too, if he was doing it that way.