How many of you have....

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:90625c1b-4dd6-4d00-a291-7022e4912e0b">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand why most of you are picking me apart in regards to my age, why I have certain things planned already and a comment I made on another board. I just asked a question and simple yes or no would have helped. Everyone does things differently.
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]

You asked the question because IT DID NOT FEEL RIGHT.  You know it is not right.  You know it is on the crazy side. 

You wanted us to validate you, so that you could go and buy the dress.  It is really that simple.

In regards to your age, your posts make you seem immature.  By not answering, you are just confirming our suspicions. 

KD+BC

Alright OP, you refuse to tell us your age and you picked a wedding date based on a childish routine, therefore I will assume you are 18. Don't print invitations until much closer to your "wedding date." Don't buy anything else until you are "officially" engaged.

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:c6f5487d-8b3d-4839-8ce5-e163226df3c4">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to know what my age has to do with this and why any of you care? So I bought my invintations, big deal. I got them on clearance. There are reasons as to why I am not engaged yet but that is no ones business but mine. I asked about dresses.
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]

If you are not engaged, why are you PLANNING A WEDDING?!  You do know that the wedding is one flippin' day.  You do know that the wedding brings a marriage along with it, right?

You are not looking at ideas.  You are out buying crap.  You have more planned for your wedding than several women I know who are engaged and have dates earlier than you.  There is ZERO reason for you to be doing any of this right now if you do not consider yourself engaged.  You are depriving yourself of the actual engagement fun.  You are taking away moments that you cannot get back. 

Let me know how it feels a year from now when you don't like anything because you made premature decisions.  Have fun burning out on wedding crap. 

bajediva

GUYS! Wait, i mean, GALS!! You are being so mean and rude!! Just because you did not know what you wanted until you were 30 doesn't mean you should be jealous because she has figured it out at 17! I mean, if she's not engaged yet and doesn't buy the dress, and invitations and book the ice rink now, how will she ever assure herself that her pretty princess day is really going to happen? She's right. Everyone does things differently. Just let her have this moment of joy. In fact, we should help out. We should donate a tiara.

noelle24

Um, I'm getting married this October, and Crazy Chelsea here has more done for her "wedding" than I do.  Tell me, chelsea, does Todd know about all this stuff you've already bought?

noelle24

Also, WTH are you going to do for the next 18 months once you DO get a ring on your finger?  You've already got everything figured out!

dwest2201

I understand the urge to look or plan some things ahead even, especially in the case of a short engagement.  BUT Invitations 17 months out is ridiciulous even if you were engaged.  Dress shopping anything before a year in advance is a bad idea engaged or not IMO, styles change, your tastes may change, you could gain or lose a decent amount of weight in that time frame as well.  WAIT!

ekathleen684

Can I ask how much input BF has had in the wedding planning or is that also, none of my business?

sapphirebaby926

No, I didn't even look at dresses until I was engaged. I think it's stupid to buy a dress when your wedding is over a year and half away and especially so if you don't consider yourself engaged. There are very few circumstances that would justify buying a dress before you're engaged and your situation does not fall into that.

Kroliczku

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:bbe745e2-3e3b-4f3a-b645-4d472114536c">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]GUYS! Wait, i mean, GALS!! You are being so mean and rude!! Just because you did not know what you wanted until you were 30 doesn't mean you should be jealous because she has figured it out at 17! <strong>I mean, if she's not engaged yet and doesn't buy the dress, and invitations and book the ice rink now, how will she ever assure herself that her pretty princess day is really going to happen?</strong> She's right. Everyone does things differently. Just let her have this moment of joy. In fact, we should help out. We should donate a tiara.
Posted by bajediva[/QUOTE]

<div>I try really hard not to be mean to anyone here...but...hahaha..that was giggle-worthy. Thank you. </div>

PandaBurr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:af4cd485-9a41-451d-8166-4c33d5841e8a">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]Can I ask how much input BF has had in the wedding planning or is that also, none of my business?
Posted by ekathleen684[/QUOTE]

I also wonder this. It just sounds like you're excited about the wedding and not the marriage.

As for the wish thing, eh. So what? It's something from her childhood that she likes to do. FI and I still do the tunnel wish thing, mostly because we want to see who can actually hold their breath the whole way, but it's still something from our childhood that we find entertaining. I'm not going to judge her for that.

However, I am going to judge her for planning her wedding before she's engaged. Also, I'll have to agree that her responses and previous quotes do imply that she may be young. Not that she would admit it at this point anyway, so asking her is pretty much moot.

PaigeMcC

<div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">In Response to <a style="text-decoration:none;font-weight:normal;color:#1f1f1f;" href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:c6f5487d-8b3d-4839-8ce5-e163226df3c4">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]I would like to know what my age has to do with this and why any of you care? So I bought my invintations, big deal. I got them on clearance. There are reasons as to why I am not engaged yet but that is no ones business but mine.<strong> I asked about dresses.</strong>
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]

<div>*head pat* Don't worry, I will answer your question about dress, OP.  It <strong>IS </strong> silly to buy a dress that far in advance.  It <strong>IS </strong> also, generally, silly to buy a dress(and/or plan a wedding) before you're engaged.  FYI you do not need a ring to get engaged.  </div><div>
</div><div>Now, moving on to the age thing - we ask because we care.  We ask b/c we've been where you are and we've fought the BSC that you're facing.  We ask because we want to be able to give you relevant age-appropriate advice. But since you have decided not to disclose this information, or much other information, then we will all have to assume that you are young.  </div><div>
</div><div>Next, how does your <strong>boyfriend</strong> feel about this dress buying thing?  Does he consider you engaged? Does he know you've set a date and you're buying a dress?</div><div>
</div><div> I am getting married Sept 4/2011 and I am not even CONSIDERING looking at dresses until this fall/winter.  I probably won't purchase til 2011.  There's no need.  I don't want to over-think my dress, or regret it, or envy someone elses.  </div><div>
</div><div>Look OP, we're not always here to give the side eye to you and your dreams of wedding bliss - but we are here to give you honest advice and bring you down from the crazy cloud.  Take a breath, stop getting offended and answer people's questions in a logical way.  Then look at their answers - don't get your panties in a knot b/c we don't agree with you. </div><div>
</div><div><strong>Bottom line : Getting a dress this early is silly.  Looking is not.  Buying is.  Stop.</strong></div></div>

PandaBurr

Why is everyone's font all wonky? Anybody else seeing this too?

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:6c990309-b66a-4642-b446-62ae541fc64c">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]Why is everyone's font all wonky? Anybody else seeing this too?
Posted by PandaBurr[/QUOTE]

<div>Mine randomly goes wonky on me.  I have no idea why.  But yes, I see it. </div>

ekathleen684

I have nothing against the wish thing, I still do some of those things that I did when I was younger. I am not however, choosing my wedding date because of it.

That might be because she's from Detroit and that means one more venue is booked in the area on that day...DRATS! This is what I get for not being BSC and planning my wedding a month or more after I get engaged.

loopy82

http://www.thedepotminneapolis.com/ --they have ice rink weddings. I think it's actaully quite popular. They do however cover up the ice rink and you can not tell it is an ice rink. Not trying to encourage anyone - just thought I'd throw out that there as I found it kind of funny when I remembered that we have ice rink weddings here!

ekathleen684

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:9034806d-8722-4532-9289-7dc8438b2576">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]<a href="http://www.thedepotminneapolis.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.thedepotminneapolis.com/</a> --they have ice rink weddings. I think it's actaully quite popular. They do however cover up the ice rink and you can not tell it is an ice rink. Not trying to encourage anyone - just thought I'd throw out that there as I found it kind of funny when I remembered that we have ice rink weddings here!
Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]

Downtown Detroit has a pretty nice outside skating rink setup too. I'm not sure about their wedding policies though.

OP- Too bad Campus Martius' rink doesn't open until Nov 13th.

PandaBurr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:0382bc98-4cfe-402e-ac9b-33b3e4abd383">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]I have nothing against the wish thing, I still do some of those things that I did when I was younger. I am not however, choosing my wedding date because of it. That might be because she's from Detroit and that means one more venue is booked in the area on that day...DRATS!
Posted by ekathleen684[/QUOTE]

Yeah, it is a bit silly to choose a wedding date because of it, but maybe it's something cute that they do together or something. I dunno, I'm just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Also, I'm kinda iffy on the whole 'the date has to have some sort of signficance to the couple' thing. The way I see it, the date will be plenty important enough after the wedding. Maybe I just feel this way because we decided to pick our wedding date as the day after we graduate for convenience, since all of our family is going to be traveling to come. Mreh. No sappy reasons for us! Logic all the way!

PaigeMcC

We don't have any special significance to our day.  It's a long weekend and there are lots of OOT people.  We want to spend as much time as we can with everyone and we're greedy and want a few days off (while using less vacation).  

We don't really have any special dates...maybe our first date's date...?*shrug*

ekathleen684

You people and your logical wedding dates.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:2903f177-e6c9-494c-99f3-8de7a420bb20">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]You people and your logical wedding dates.
Posted by ekathleen684[/QUOTE]

<div>I know right - I probably should have made it coincide with the date that we first met, or our first date, or the day I plan to pop out our first spawn....we need to get with the program. *shakes head* </div>

desertsun

What I want to know is... what is she going to do for the next year and a half? TTC???

redheadfsu

OP (if you come back)
You are engaged. Congrats!
Because I hope, by everything that is holy, that your BF/FI had as much input on the date/ wedding items as you did. As the wedding, like the marriage, is about both of you working together. If you have done the wedding planning properly than you ARE engaged. As you both decided to get married & started planning. Congrats! However, I ditto that it is to early to buy the dress as your ideas might change. However do what works for you. But still run the dress buying idea passed your BF/FI.

PandaBurr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:b79482a0-e358-432c-b9f7-e4e5d4bfe040">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]What I want to know is... what is she going to do for the next year and a half? TTC???
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

I'm probably wrong, but a quick search tells me she already has a child.

chendrix77

I'm sorry if I am getting all defensive, I knew everyone wasn't going to agree with me and that is ok. That's why I asked for everyone's opinion. I didn't realize I was going to be questioned on everything I have done so far, plus it's been a crappy day at the office for me and I am a little stressed out because of it. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 28. He just finished his PT degree and is studying for his license so things have been kind of crazy. HE was the one who wanted that date and he helped me with picking the church and the hall. We booked it now because we both knew 11.11 was going to be a popular date. He has been very involved with the planning we have done so far and he is ok with it. Plus I have a government job and will automatically be off that day because we will be closed so that is a nice bonus too. Any other questions I can answer for everyone?

katanne9

I chose my date bc it was the only day our venue had open. I'm so callous.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:a04a0d8a-0eac-4d6d-9cf9-dbedf1dc8b00">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry if I am getting all defensive, I knew everyone wasn't going to agree with me and that is ok. That's why I asked for everyone's opinion. I didn't realize I was going to be questioned on everything I have done so far, plus it's been a crappy day at the office for me and I am a little stressed out because of it. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 28. He just finished his PT degree and is studying for his license so things have been kind of crazy. HE was the one who wanted that date and he helped me with picking the church and the hall. We booked it now because we both knew 11.11 was going to be a popular date. He has been very involved with the planning we have done so far and he is ok with it. Plus I have a government job and will automatically be off that day because we will be closed so that is a nice bonus too. Any other questions I can answer for everyone?
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is the right way to come back to the board.  Thank you for your mature responses.  Now, moving on, it sounds to me like you actually are engaged.  That isn't really for me to decide BUT you do not need a ring to be engaged.  I'm glad he's been involved in the process - still seems silly to plan a wedding when not engaged but whatev.  </div><div>
</div><div>Anyways, I wouldn't buy your dress yet.  You probably will regret it.  Just relax.  There's lots of time.</div><div>
</div>

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:edc8ed6f-b8a7-4c84-b980-65a83bf049c7">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE]I chose my date bc it was the only day our venue had open. I'm so callous. :D
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

<div>*shakes finger* tsk tsk tsk</div>

chendrix77

I've was getting hit with so many different responses and on top of everything at work and I just felt overwhelmed. So thank you for the understanding. To clear one thing up too, I have not mailed out invites. Even I know thats silly! I simply just bought them and they are sitting in my closet. I have never been engaged before so I have no idea what the time line is for a dress.

Acrosthec

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_many-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:c16be189-6014-4fb7-a781-389504b1781fPost:a64e2983-2bee-41fd-8249-2ea8ad7ff382">Re: How many of you have....</a>:
[QUOTE] I have no idea what the time line is for a dress.
Posted by chendrix77[/QUOTE]

It really depends on the dress/designer.  And even then, I've found that stores estimate high.  That dress I ordered because we were worried it wouldn't come in until a few weeks before the wedding?  It came in in 1.5 months, not 4-5.  The lady at the store was completely off-base.  But others DO take 6+ months.  You just have to ask when you're ordering.  I've never heard of a dress taking longer than 8 months to come in though, so if you start looking and trying after you're engaged or around the 1 year mark (if you get engaged before November), that should be plenty of time.