How do you decide?

bethsmiles

So since BF and I have been looking/talking about rings more lately I'm trying to decide what stone I want. I thought I wanted Asher or Moissanite but I also really like opal and sapphire. Pearls are pretty too. I don't wear jewlery (at all) so its all overwhelming! I know I don't want a diamond, which is why I think I'm having some pause about Asher and Moissanite - they look like diamonds. So how did you girls decide what sort of stone you wanted?

AudgiePodge

I like purple, so I went with a purple stone. Nothing really deep with my logic there. I'd stay away from pearl. They're not really tough compared to other stones on their hardness scale, so they're not a very good choice for an e-ring.

bethsmiles

Oh yeah. I always forget about the hardness of stones. I know a diamond is a 10 and a sapphire is a 9. How low is it ok to go for an engagement ring?

This is so hard! I don't wear any jewelry at all and I know nothing about it. I don't want to make a decision I will regret!

AudgiePodge

I'm not sure. I think it'll also depend on how often you wear it and what you wear it doing. KWIM?

bethsmiles

That makes sense.

artbyallie

Sapphires come in a multitude of colors, by the way. White (like a diamond), blue, orange, green, black, pink, red (which is a ruby, but it's the same mineral anyway so I lump them together) are all options for practically the same hardness as diamond but much less pricey. I love my sapphire, which I wanted because it is my birthstone.

Emerald is an 8, as is aquamarine, and pearl (and opal, I think but not sure) is far too soft to wear as a ring that you'll have on every day. I probably wouldn't go lower than 8, just to be safe.

loopy82

I would suggest not doing aquamarine. That is my birthstone and I think if it was you e-ring it would just look like a dirty diamond. I saw a yellow topaz ring - which looked like  a yellow diamond (wich equals $$$) and it looked really  nice. What color/ style best suits you?

I have a lab created pink sapphire that I got almost 4 years ago for my birthday that I have worn pretty much everday and nothing has happened to it. In fact the white gold on that ring looks a heck of a lot better than the platinum on my e/wedding ring(s).

bethsmiles

Yeah. I really love the unquie look of opals but they are soft Sapphires are pretty though.

loopy82

Hmm... IDK pick an inexpensive ring then you can change it out ever few years. Ok kidding. Well kind of. I know that doesn't suit most people. Personally I really think I would be ok with it. If I needed to replace my we-ring I would probably go with the yellow topaz I saw that was a fraction of the price. Have you been doing any researching online to see if you can gain any further information?

desertsun

I think you need to think about the color you want and how durable you want the stone to be.

Here's some basic info on the hardness of different gem stones:

http://jewelry.about.com/od/birthstonefactsandfolklore/a/mohs_scale.htm

bethsmiles

My favorite color is blue (though some sapphires are too dark for my taste). I want a stone that will look good in a yellow gold band because I decided I don't want white gold. I'm really low maintenance and I never wear jewelry so I just want something that I don't have to worry about much.

GreenPepperBurger

I saw a woman on the subway last week that had a gorgeous tanzanite ring.

I would decide what kind of stone based on what colors you like, how rough you are on jewelry to begin with, and your budget.

calindi

I think it also depends on WHY you don't want a diamond.  If it's because of the artificially inflated cost or the human rights issues, then an Asher or Moissanite would be a good option.

However, if you don't want a diamond because you want something unique, then be bold in your decision to not have a clear stone.  Be decisive, because you'd end up facing those annoying comments from random people who simply think it's a crime against nature to not have a clear stone.  And so if you're going to do it, be secure in your decision and proud of it.

Only you can figure out why you don't want a diamond, and how you'll handle the inevitable comments about breaking the norm. 

milazee

I went with Moissanite, also because I didnt want a diamond and was SO worried I was going to hate it. I got a .75 enhanced round stone solitaire,[ I think the .75 is big and looks larger than a 1 ct diamond. ]  and I love love love it. its amazing so beautiful. My SIL also has a moissanite, that  is 1ct solitaire antique type band unenhanced which is also beautiful. Although hers deff shows slightly more color than mine.

marleylikeair

It's funny, usually I end up with something different than what the crowd does, but for my E-ring, I really want clear stones. I want there to be no mistaking that it's an E-ring. I want it to be special and stand out from any other jewelry I might wear that would have colored stones.

I don't know if that helps much, since you're leaning toward something other than a diamond/clear stone.

I love sapphires, too. If you love blue, why not go for it? Especially since sapphires are the E-ring choice of yore? And of course, England's Princess-in-Waiting is currently wearing one! Of course, if you're looking for unique, you might consider that that ring may spark a trend, as it did when Di first wore the ring.

You also said you wanted a yellow gold band. IMO, a sapphire isn't the best color to complement that. I think a ruby would be better with yellow, or better yet, topaz or emerald.

Hmm. I'm really just musing here and not really making a point. Hope something here helps. LOL.

Beads921

I either want diamond or sapphire. Period. Sapphire is the only gemstone other than topaz (my birthstone) that I really love love love. I already have a gorgeous topaz ring, and I don't need another one. It's a pretty simple choice for me.

However, I think you should probably take the hardness of the stone into consideration, since it does need to last a long time. Pearls are nice, but probably impractical. Have you asked at any of the jewelry stores you've been in about what they think on the issue? I mean, I know a lot of them will just push diamonds, but a really good store with knowledgable staff should explain your options.

nottheonlydreamer44

I am seriously considering getting a colored stone band for my ring because it is so oddly made and nothing goes with it. I am on the side of not getting blue topaz. That's my birthstone and I have several - they're an odd color and show considerable wear and tear after awhile.

I think it depends on what you want for sure. I used to work at Helzberg (yes that beautiful company that does our awesome side ads) and Moissanite was extremely popular there. Though I would recommend never buying anything from that company.

Obviously I am no help. lol.

Ana_2985

I picked diamonds because of their awesome optical properties (brilliance, sparkle, etc). There are other stones that have "better" properties than diamonds but they're much more difficult to find in jewelry.

So if I was picking again, I would chose based on how well the stone "sparkles", how hard it is, and the color. Keep it mind that hardness really only protects against scratching. Diamonds are really hard, but they're also really brittle meaning that they can chip easily if you hit them a certain way. 

I agree with PPs. Think about what color you'd like then find out which gemstones are available in that color and then do a little research on those stones. If you have any questions, you are welcome to page or PM me. I love to talk about minerals/gemstones!

milazee

Also feel free to PM or respond here [responding here is prob better] and I can let you know anything you'd like to know about my moissanite. I know Panda had posted a while ago about it [which is how I ended up with the decision to get  mine]

mzm153

Of all of the stones, I like saphire best since I love dark blue. I also would like to go for something more unique, but not that expensive.

Ember01

I wanted the typical diamond ring, so it was an easy decision for me. K tried to talk me into a colored stone, but I was afraid people would think it wasn't an engagement ring or that it would go out of style. I don't know, I'm a pretty traditional person, so that's just my opinion.

loves2shop4shoes

If you do decide to go the non-traditional, colored stone route,  make SURE it's something that you LOVE and won't get sick of.

I always knew I wanted a diamond, but when I was figuring out what shape of stone and band I wanted, I decided to go classic.  I didn't want something that I'd like now, but not in 30 years.  Know what I mean?

DanielleZZ

I wouldn't go the pearl route.  I love pearls and really wanted one but when I started to do research I found they do not last well with everyday wear and tare and I didnt wan to ever take mine off.

Goldlie11

I knew that I really wanted something simple and classic.  I love the classic Tiffany solitaire.  However, FI's budget would have bought me a very small ring (not that there is anything wrong with small stones).  We knew that the budget would go farther elsewhere.  So, we got a replica of the Tiffany ring from Whiteflash.  

bethsmiles

Thanks for all the advice ladies! I've never wanted a diamond so I think that I'm going to stay away from asher and moissanite as well. I think I need to buy some cheap ring to wear so I can get an idea of how rough I am on jewelry because I have no idea since I never wear it.

Ultimately I know whatever BF gets I will love

jeanacorina

I wanted a clear stone because I wanted it to match anything I wore. I have several pieces of amethyst jewelry, since purple is my favorite color, so I didn't want a purple engagement ring that would look like everything else in my jewelry box.

If DH hadn't purchased a diamond ring, it would have been moissanite. We did a lot of research and liked both. However, I think a yellow topaz ring would look beautiful in yellow gold! Certainly go browse some jewelry stores and look at stones in-person once you know a little about their durability. Rubies and sapphires are also beautiful. It just depends on what really strikes you.

GreenPepperBurger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_decide?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:cb9a933d-216c-4daa-aaac-f3adb24f9ff2Post:ac4e1474-f917-4d19-83d5-abf6215e3a25">Re: How do you decide?</a>:
[QUOTE]It's funny, usually I end up with something different than what the crowd does, but for my E-ring, I really want clear stones. I want there to be no mistaking that it's an E-ring. I want it to be special and stand out from any other jewelry I might wear that would have colored stones. I don't know if that helps much, since you're leaning toward something other than a diamond/clear stone. I love sapphires, too. If you love blue, why not go for it? Especially since sapphires are the E-ring choice of yore? And of course, England's Princess-in-Waiting is currently wearing one! Of course, if you're looking for unique, you might consider that that ring may spark a trend, as it did when Di first wore the ring. You also said you wanted a yellow gold band. IMO, a sapphire isn't the best color to complement that. I think a ruby would be better with yellow, or better yet, topaz or emerald. Hmm. I'm really just musing here and not really making a point. Hope something here helps. LOL.
Posted by marleylikeair[/QUOTE]


This is what my mother says. I am very into colored diamonds, or a sapphire solitaire with diamonds around it - ala Kate Middleton. My mother is against that because she thinks people will think that BF couldn't afford a diamond. *facepalm*

CFar13

I want either daimond and/or white sapphire. They look very similar and would compliment each other if on the same band. White sapphires are much cheaper than diamonds as well.  If it's a color you want, I still like sapphires because of the vast range of colors they come in. [They are also my birthstone so I am partial]

Having done a little more searching on Moissanite, that may be thrown into the mix as well.

MissOwl

one note about pearls. they look gorgeous but they are very hard to keep clean and polished. they look dull really fast. a friend of mine got one for her e-ring and ended up only wearing her wedding band. just a thought.

i'm also in the pro-sapphire and pro-aquamarine camp! yay for non-traditional stones.

JMM4208

I always knew I wanted a diamond but I am terrible on my rings. My class rings have been garnet and my current one is an onyx, I didn't have any problems with scratches or anything. Good idea with getting a cheapy to figure out how hard you are on your hands.

leia1979

Beth, if you want a lighter blue, my coworker got a light blue sapphire. I'd never seen one before, and didn't know it was a sapphire at first. It's very pretty.

My mom has an aquamarine ring in yellow gold that she got for her 16th birthday. It's held up quite well with a lot over the last 40+ years. I will say her aquamarine is closer to the blue topazes you see now. I wanted to get her earrings to go with it a few years ago and all the aquamarines now are way lighter.