How Fast is too Fast?

Hazel_B

Last night I finally got to talk to my dad about getting engaged. My parents seem pretty excited. Now I think my issue is a combination of being from a small town and having retired parents who have too much time on their hands.

This morning there is a voicemail at work from my dad telling me to call him, it is urgent. Thinking that someone has died I call right away. No, he has found a caterer for the wedding. There are certain caterers in town that he HATES and are completely out of the question. Then proceeds to tell me about the guy he wants and that he is booked for 2011 and already has 4 weddings for 2012.

Are you serious? It is February of 2011?!?!

HappinessByTheKilowatt

Don't book anything until you are engaged. They will require a deposit, and that is money you don't want to lose if things don't go according to your ideal time frame. But yeah, it can be typical for vendors to book over a year out.

Hazel_B

I am engaged, I got engaged on Sunday.

[Deleted User]

That is tough Hazel. I'm sure your dad just thinks he is being helpful. Maybe you can talk with him and let him know that you are so thankful he is willing to help with the wedding planning...but first you just want to enjoy your engagement. I know you just got engaged, but maybe once you have a date or time frame picked for the wedding, it will cool dad's eagerness a bit. Hang in there!

PaigeMcC

And it begins...

niknik15

I'm with allusive, just tell him to relax. You have plenty of time to plan. If you don't get a handle on them now things will spiral out of control fast. You have to lay some ground rules and tell them it is you and your FI's wedding not theirs.

I demand pictures!!! Or else I'm going to assume you are planning without being engaged

jeanacorina

Ugh, there ya go. Don't ever say I lied about the stress!

Look, I promise, even if you don't book things a year out, you will still have a beautiful wedding. Even if you take a little time to enjoy your engagement, you will still have a beautiful wedding, Even if you do not get that EXACT caterer, you will still have a beautiful wedding.

Please, please, please believe me when I say: START NOW with gently explaining that you don't want to rush the planning. Tell your dad thank you so much, but you are going to work things out in your own timeframe and it will all turn out fine. Tell him he'll be the first one you call with any questions about caterers.... but you JUST got engaged and you want to relax for a little while and savor it.

You WILL get married, and you WILL have a great wedding.... no need to rush.

And, obviously, we're all here for you if it gets crazy.

heyimbren

Hazel, I think it really comes down to your priorities. There are some places that book really quickly because they're so popular and bridesNEY get over eager with planning. That's probably the real problem.

My cousin just got engaged at Christmas, and she's looking at June 2012. The venue she fell in love with is booked for 2011 AND 2012. So she had to look for a different venue.

So I guess I would ask, how important is this caterer to you? Is it so important that you'd rather book it now and have that date picked out? Or would you rather just chill out for a bit, and if it's booked then you'll just find a new one?

My advice would be the latter, but that's because I wouldn't want to pick a date so far out and so early on.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fast-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d423c614-0901-4194-b0ab-206a1503d182Post:72fb00bb-9c4c-42fb-861c-a1d5c3f28ffe">Re: How Fast is too Fast?</a>:
[QUOTE]You WILL get married, and you WILL have a great wedding.... no need to rush. And, obviously, we're all here for you <font class="Apple-style-span" color="#FF0000">when</font> it gets crazy.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

<div>Fixed that for ya;)</div>

jeanacorina

Yeah... I considered that... but I thought maybe I scare people.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fast-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d423c614-0901-4194-b0ab-206a1503d182Post:d20790ec-a5d7-4b4d-a9c2-3327c08c1d72">Re: How Fast is too Fast?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah... I considered that... but I thought maybe I scare people.
Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

<div>I think it's good to be prepared.  I am fully prepared for maximum stress...and hopefully it will only be minimum...</div>

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fast-fast?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d423c614-0901-4194-b0ab-206a1503d182Post:924e20b7-76e0-463b-9531-9bce3753beee">Re: How Fast is too Fast?</a>:
[QUOTE] I demand pictures!!! Or else I'm going to assume you are planning without being engaged
Posted by niknik15[/QUOTE]

I'm prepping my flame thrower so you better get on it. ;)

My dad has had my caterer planned since I was seven years old.
He also had the venue planned since 2007 which it quite possibly WAY out of our price range and doesn't allow outside catering.
I've tried explaining that they will not let him have both but he doesn't get the picture. As soon as I was engaged, he'd bug me on a daily basis if I have booked a tour of his venue yet. There are two things my dad can be very stubborn and persistent with, my wedding and taxes.
Ditto PP's, do you have a DREAM venue that you must have or can you wait a bit? For me, there is no specific time we need to get married or a specific venue (minus dads) that we need to get married at. I did go to a open house with him and gathered info on the place, no deposits made and no dates set. I'd tell dad your not ready to settle on a date yet but if he'd like to go take a look you'd be more than happy to. Gotta love wedding happy dads :)

Hazel_B

Oh, I know I don't need to rush anything. I just haven't thought like a farmers daughter in awhile and am realizing that a wedding date needs to work around farm priorities a little bit or else a good chunk of my family may not be able to come.
Atleast my cousin who got engaged in December is looking at June 2012, so no worries on that one.