I'm unofficially engaged!!

prodigalgirl

Ok... kidding. 

But with the favors mod gone, it seems like the drama level here has dropped significantly!

In all seriousness, my BF called me his "future wife" the other day and I gave him a hard time about it.  I told him he isn't allowed to call me that until it's official

I kept hearing "Every time you say unofficially engaged, God kills a kitten" in my head!!

Hazel_B

lol, so much stuff has become ingrained in me as well.

I have definitely given the BF the side eye when he talks like that.

Elle1036

I don't have a problem with the term "unofficially engaged" at all.  I use it in complete seriousness, because it describes our situation.

...So... good for you!

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:41a1c1eb-f947-493a-aa5b-9fbf8c07bcbc">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't have a problem with the term "unofficially engaged" at all.  I use it in complete seriousness, because it describes our situation. ...So... good for you!
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">I have a problem with that term.  You can be waiting on an engagement, you can be in a relationship, you can be engaged and not have announced it to family and friends...you cannot be unofficially engaged.  It's either you're engaged (you've been asked, agreed to it, etc) or you're not (you may have talked but there's no agreement or proposal, etc.)  It's like being pregnant.  You either are or you are not...you can't be unofficially pregnant.</div></div>

sapphirebaby926

Pfft whatever Paige - I'm totally unofficially pregnant

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:62d71685-16af-4be0-bae9-c1d52ca0295e">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Pfft whatever Paige - I'm totally unofficially pregnant
Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]

<div>You're the exception;)</div>

deburnin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:5d3d038e-8382-4ed4-b080-9e7877b0651a">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm unofficially engaged!! : I have a problem with that term.  You can be waiting on an engagement, you can be in a relationship, you can be engaged and not have announced it to family and friends...you cannot be unofficially engaged.  It's either you're engaged (you've been asked, agreed to it, etc) or you're not (you may have talked but there's no agreement or proposal, etc.)  It's like being pregnant.  You either are or you are not...you can't be unofficially pregnant.
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

<div>A girl I work with says she's unofficially engaged all the time... For awhile she changed her FB status to engaged. The congratulations and people asking her to post pics of the ring were awkward. When they got into a argument she changed it back to them just being in a relationship... They've already picked out a date (in 2015). Drives me up a wall. She's a nice girl, but BSC when it comes to wedding stuff. They're also one of those couples that get into fights on a regular basis and update their FB statuses with the drama. *shakes head*</div>

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:d077f6e3-09f1-44a4-9ee0-c08cb4ee1e27">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm unofficially engaged!! : A girl I work with says she's unofficially engaged all the time... For awhile she changed her FB status to engaged. The congratulations and people asking her to post pics of the ring were awkward. When they got into a argument she changed it back to them just being in a relationship... They've already picked out a date (in 2015). Drives me up a wall. She's a nice girl, but BSC when it comes to wedding stuff. They're also one of those couples that get into fights on a regular basis and update their FB statuses with the drama. *shakes head*
Posted by deburnin[/QUOTE]

<div>I delete couples like this from my FB friends.  I can't stand it...and I'm a beyotch like that;)</div>

calindi

Oh man, there's this couple that's a real gem.  They're friends with my BSC cousin (the one who posts videos on her BF's FB wall of her lipsynching Jonas Brothers songs).  They started dating in February, have their little boxes under their profile pictures with the date they started dating and something nauseating like, "Luv muh baybee 4evuh".  As of like a month after they started dating, they put "Engaged to..." as they relationship status.  And guess what?  They actually got engaged a week ago!  Yep, they're 18 years old, have known each other all of 8 months, post "good morning my hubby" and "sleep tight wifey" posts on each others' walls EVERY SINGLE DAY, and are just generally the MOST nauseating thing you've ever seen!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:d077f6e3-09f1-44a4-9ee0-c08cb4ee1e27">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm unofficially engaged!! : A girl I work with says she's unofficially engaged all the time... For awhile she changed her FB status to engaged. The congratulations and people asking her to post pics of the ring were awkward. When they got into a argument she changed it back to them just being in a relationship... <strong>They've already picked out a date (in 2015</strong>). Drives me up a wall. She's a nice girl, but BSC when it comes to wedding stuff. They're also one of those couples that get into fights on a regular basis and update their FB statuses with the drama. *shakes head*
Posted by deburnin[/QUOTE]

oooh, that reminds me...I'd better hurry and get a venue reserved for my imaginary daughter's wedding in 2032 - she'll be 20 or 21 then; also better find a good family with a nice boy so she can make sure to have someone she can call her future fiance.

MLekathLEEN

Angie- Is your future DD unofficially engaged?! I didn't even know you were unofficially pregnant.

tehe

GreenPepperBurger

I don't care if people call themselves "unofficially engaged." I think it's stupid and people who talk like that in all seriousness look dumb, but hey, whatever helps you sleep at night.

bethsmiles

My BF would think I had lost my mind if I was telling people we were "unofficially engaged" I do not understand why anyone would feel the need to use the term. It just makes me feel like they are insecure in their relationship as it is.

loopy82

I thought this was going to be an "unofficially engaged" for real post. I was groaning as I was opening it. Was pleased with the content of the post.

calindi

Like GPB said, I don't really care what anyone else calls themselves.  But I will roll my eyes when someone says "unofficially engaged".  It's like someone who celebrates their "8 month anniversary" by putting it in their Facebook statuses and exchanging gifts - really?  A year mark I can see, but every fricken month?!  Look, "unofficially engaged" just sounds like you're trying to prove you're more serious than just dating.  You can say, "we're in a serious relationship" if you really want to emphasize that it's serious.  But honestly, no one cares.  Even engaged doesn't really count - it's just dating with an intention of getting married.  But there's no legal difference between engaged and dating.

My boyfriend has joked around by telling people who ask when we're getting engaged that we're already "domestic partners" so what's the rush?

PandaBurr

I'm not going to lie. I used to celebrate monthly with my ex-boyfriends. When I was still in high school. Six months was like totally such a big deal. *hair flip*

deburnin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:87fe3359-3f2c-4406-98f5-db75ae07c246">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I'm unofficially engaged!! : I delete couples like this from my FB friends.  I can't stand it...and I'm a beyotch like that;)
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

<div>I apparently attract the crazies to me. I have three friends who are like this. One I was very good friends with in HS, but her drama has just gotten me to the point where I hide her status updates and I've ignored her monthly message of her BF broke her heart again. It can be anything from he talked to another girl to he lied to her about going to a strip club or cheated on her again. The same night she'll have a status about how much she loves him and can't wait to be his wife someday and how he's sent from heaven. Blah blah blah. She deserve better than the cheating ahole, but there's only so much advice you can give a person...</div><div>
</div>

[Deleted User]

ekath...my imaginary daughter will probably be a honeymoon baby and I think we'll call her Princess Flip-Flops, sounds like a good name.  But she is definitely unofficially engaged...I'll be setting up interviews soon for her future fiance, so if any of you would like your imaginary son to be considered, let me know.

PandaBurr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:bfa5d075-6c29-485f-8eba-c868abcf6a93">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]ekath...my imaginary daughter will probably be a honeymoon baby and I think we'll call her Princess Flip-Flops, sounds like a good name.  But she is definitely unofficially engaged...I'll be setting up interviews soon for her future fiance, so if any of you would like your imaginary son to be considered, let me know.
Posted by AngieD&JoeD[/QUOTE]

You have to put her on that one show on MTV where the parents interview possible replacement boyfriends/girlfriends. I don't remember what it's called, but that is clearly the best way to do it.

bethsmiles

BF and I celebrated a 6 month anniversary. We didn't update our FB statuses or anything but we went out for a nice dinner and he bought me flowers. Personally I don't see a problem with a couple wanting to celebrate the fact that they've been together for a certain amount of time.Time is relative anyways so IMO celebrating dating or being married or whatever for any amount of time is just as worth while as another amount of time.

MLekathLEEN

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:bfa5d075-6c29-485f-8eba-c868abcf6a93">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]ekath...my imaginary daughter will probably be a honeymoon baby and I think we'll call her Princess Flip-Flops, sounds like a good name.  But she is definitely unofficially engaged...I'll be setting up interviews soon for her future fiance, so if any of you would like your imaginary son to be considered, let me know.
Posted by AngieD&JoeD[/QUOTE]

Planning two weddings at once? WOW I'd lose my mind.

I'd like to set up my sons interview. June 25,2015 around 2pm good? He may be pooping his pants still but he's an unofficial doctor!

PandaBurr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:f7946ef5-babb-4abf-be64-6ca801b80720">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]BF and I celebrated a 6 month anniversary. We didn't update our FB statuses or anything but we went out for a nice dinner and he bought me flowers. Personally I don't see a problem with a couple wanting to celebrate the fact that they've been together for a certain amount of time.Time is relative anyways so IMO celebrating dating or being married or whatever for any amount of time is just as worth while as another amount of time.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

My opinion of celebrating monthly anniversaries is just that though, an opinion. Someone can celebrate however many anniversaries they want, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm going to be giving them the major side-eye. To me, it's like celebrating half-birthdays, or quarter-birthdays. (Okay, I've never heard of quarter-birthdays, but you get my point)

calindi

I agree with you, Panda.  It's one thing to turn to each other and say, "Hey, did you realize we've been dating 7 months now? That's cool" and a whole other thing to make it into a bigger deal than most people have their 1st wedding anniversary.

And I'm fine with any excuse (or no reason whatsoever) for dinner and flowers, Beth.  It's more the "Seven whole months with my Joey-baby!  My sweety cuddle bear, you make my life so much better!  Kisses and hugs!*~* " splashed all over my newsfeed that makes me roll my eyes.  If I have to know it's your seven month anniversary, I'm going to roll my eyes.  If you really want to make a big deal out of it, then just keep it between the two of you and no one gets to judge anyway.

deburnin

BF and I celebrated our one month and six months way back in HS. Dang that feels like forever ago... Before BF started studying like a madman all summer we used to make the 21st of the month a "special" date night. If we were busy with school we would always take the time to go out to dinner or a movie together. We never advertised it as celebrating X amount of months, but I supposed it was kind of like that.

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:64add25d-25ac-4fda-856d-313ac598ea92">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm not going to lie. I used to celebrate monthly with my ex-boyfriends. When I was still in high school. Six months was like totally such a big deal. *hair flip*
Posted by PandaBurr[/QUOTE]

Haha, this is true... but in highschool 6 months was like, totally forever and a day... ya know?!

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:6351b677-660c-43af-ae25-f83b1abc0dbc">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with you, Panda.  It's one thing to turn to each other and say, "Hey, did you realize we've been dating 7 months now? That's cool" and a whole other thing to make it into a bigger deal than most people have their 1st wedding anniversary. And I'm fine with any excuse (or no reason whatsoever) for dinner and flowers, Beth.  It's more the "Seven whole months with my Joey-baby!  My sweety cuddle bear, you make my life so much better!  Kisses and hugs!*~* <3" splashed all over my newsfeed that makes me roll my eyes.  If I have to know it's your seven month anniversary, I'm going to roll my eyes.  If you really want to make a big deal out of it, then just keep it between the two of you and no one gets to judge anyway.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

I have over 400 "friends" on fb and I've blocked at least 20 for crap like that... I highly recommend it!  I don't defriend them because I have nothing personal against them other than them being annoying as all get out.  

leia1979

2015 wedding = hilarious
Angie's response = extra hilarious

I don't really understand what "unofficially engaged" would mean. Once BF asks me to marry him and I reply in the affirmative, we'll be engaged. Seems straightforward enough (that could also have the roles reversed, but there has been a request to let him do the asking).

Cate - we're not allowed to be domestic partners. In CA you have to either be same-sex or over 65. Though even if we could, there's no reason for us to do so right now.

[Deleted User]

Panda - I think that show is a must, we'll have to get it scheduled.

ekath - got ya penciled in, love that he'll be a doctor, I think specializing in pediatrics would be good, might save them a lot of money when they have kids.

OK, I'll admit that Joe and I did "celebrate" all of our "monthiversaries" this past year.  We basically just did like someone else said and had dinner or such and told each other "happy monthiversary".  I did post on FB at one point a status that just said "can you believe it's been 6 months" - nothing gushy or anything, just that simple statement.  I got so many responses from my friends who were genuinely happy for me/us.  But of course remember that my situation is a little different: I'm old and my friends had been hoping I'd meet someone special for so long (before I met Joe, I would go on a date maybe once a year or so and hadn't had a "BF" for about 12 years), they're all into it as much as I am, if not more (I had one friend - age 70 - who told me the day after our 1st date "oh, we're going to celebrate this marriage for years" - I asked her if we could go on our 2nd date before she had the wedding planned).  I agree, I don't like all the "mushy" postings everyone does, though, that's enough to make even me gag.

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_im-unofficially-engaged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:d660446e-c354-4e5d-8632-4153fcd629cfPost:f5a7a5ba-f4e8-473e-9b56-39fae2d77aee">Re: I'm unofficially engaged!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Cate - we're not allowed to be domestic partners. In CA you have to either be same-sex or over 65. Though even if we could, there's no reason for us to do so right now.
Posted by leia1979[/QUOTE]


Leia, it was a joke.  The only reason we did it at all was so that BF could get dental insurance through my job.  It was honestly the most anti-climactic event ever - we went to the bank, got the form notarized while standing up at the counter since it was so busy, then left.  Ta-dah!  BF says that to people more as a protest of anyone thinking that 'domestic partnership' is equal to marriage - it's not, and it's pathetic that people try to push it as an alternative for marriage for homosexual couples.

And I'm joking here because "domestic partners" would actually be considered a 'step up' from normal dating.  At least we signed a legal document!  Unlike "unofficially engaged" which means... nothing?

leia1979

I thought I remembered yours being for insurance. I know someone else who did that, too.

I just thought it was weird that in California, you can't get married if you're gay (at least not at the moment) and you can't have a domestic partnership if you're straight (unless you're over 65). One thing for everybody, people!

calindi

While we're on the topic of "total unfair", where does it make sense that your right to affordable healthcare should be tied to your marital status?  Or even your employment status?  Why do I have to use the healthcare that my company decides to allow me to use?  Why does it make sense that if people are unemployed, they should have to pay ridiculous amounts to be able to see a doctor?

In terms of healthcare, I honestly can't wait until I'm married and BF is active duty so that we can get on TriCare through the military.  For all its many faults, at least it's consistent and rarely would we have to pay anything out of pocket.