Help! Upset BF, not sure what to do...

genj15

I'll try to keep this as brief as possible.... Could use some advice on this one.

BF works for the city, a few weeks ago, he hurt himself while on a job site.  At first he didn't think it was that big of a deal, but is now experiencing some residual issues and is going through this whole workman's comp thing.  Basically, what it comes down to is that he has to go in for an MRI tomorrow and he asked me to go with him.  Unfortunately, I have a work function that's been scheduled for months that I can't get out of.  I think he's a little freaked out about the whole thing since the Dr. that he saw initially told him that he'll probably need surgery to correct the problem, MRI was scheduled to confirm this suspicion.  I've already asked him if he can reschedule the MRI so I can be there with him, but since it's through workman's comp, he has to work within their schedule.  Any suggestions for something I can do to make him feel better since I can't be there with him tomorrow? 

loopy82

I take it there isn't anyway to be with him before the MRI then go to the work function or leave the work function early?

I understand wanting to be there. FI and I went to Mexico right after I started my current job, and I didnt' have any vacation time. On our last day in Mexico FI injured himself. We came back home and found out he broke his neck. Horribly scary! I had to be back to work on Monday and everyday and couldn't be with him at the hospital like I wanted. It just tore my heart out when I said he was so lonely sitting alone in the hospital room all day.

Maybe make him a CD/ MP3's  of meaningful songs. Maybe he can have that played for what he listens to in the MRI. I've never had one, but I've heard that they let you listen to music because it is so loud. 

I understand being scared, but at least and MRI is not surgery and basically just an x-ray.  

genj15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_upset-bf-not-sure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:d77fb816-481e-4b60-a492-3858631b0211Post:99c451fc-cb54-42ef-a17f-3a73974d7394">Re: Help! Upset BF, not sure what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]I take it there isn't anyway to be with him before the MRI then go to the work function or leave the work function early? I understand wanting to be there. FI and I went to Mexico right after I started my current job, and I didnt' have any vacation time. On our last day in Mexico FI injured himself. We came back home and <strong>found out he broke his neck.</strong> Horribly scary! I had to be back to work on Monday and everyday and couldn't be with him at the hospital like I wanted. It just tore my heart out when I said he was so lonely sitting alone in the hospital room all day. Maybe make him a CD/ MP3's  of meaningful songs. Maybe he can have that played for what he listens to in the MRI. I've never had one, but I've heard that they let you listen to music because it is so loud.  I understand being scared, but at least and MRI is not surgery and basically just an x-ray.  
Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]

Holy crap, is he ok now?  That's horribly scary!! 

Thank you for the advice.  I know that getting an MRI isn't that big of a deal.  I just feel bad that he asked me to be there with him and I can't.  Makes me feel like a bad GF :(  He'll be fine, and I know that if the MRI confirms that he'll have to have surgery eventually, I'll be able to make arrangements so I can be with him through that.

katanne9

I hate flying, and whenever I have to fly without FI I make him write me a note or a card to open on the plane.

I also think the playlist is a good idea. Or give him a book and stick a photo of you 2 in it.

PaigeMcC

That sucks that you can't be there with him but there really is only so much you can do.  Let him know you support him and give him a little extra love tonight.  I like the idea of a pic or CD. Maybe send him a sweet text before he heads out to let him know that you're thinking of him and waiting to hear back.

GL

loopy82

Yes, after surgery and getting metal rods in his neck, he is good. Well still in frequent pain, but he is not paralyzed, which absolutely amazed doctors as they had seem less severe injuries and the peole ended up paralyzed.

Wish him luck. Maybe tell him you'll take him out for a drink or two tomorrow night to celebrate him being brave (say being brave to maybe add a little humor)

felicity and reverie

This is late, but I am throwing my two cents in anyway.

Has your BF ever had an MRI before? If not, I totally understand the apprehension. Even if he has had an MRI before, the machines now are so much nicer than the ones even just 10 years ago.

I've had to get an MRI done of my head every year for the past 6ish years, so I'm going to pass on my tips & hopefully they will help with your brainstorming:

-Having a cd of music you like is great. However, not every place lets you play your own music. The place that I go changed over to satellite radio a few years ago. But it would be a nice gesture to give him a personalized mix in case he can play it.

-You can't wear any metal into the MRI room, so I always go in my favorite sweats to avoid any metal zippers on pants. If he has favorite sweats or pajamas, you could throw them into the laundry tonight to make sure that he has something comfortable (and comforting) to wear tomorrow.

-I'm claustrophobic and hate seeing how close the machine is to my head. I had a terrible MRI experience in middle school, so when I started getting my annual MRIs done, the tech at my new place gave me a washcloth/towel to put over my eyes while I was in the machine. You can't see anything and it is very calming. You could pick up an eye mask for him from Target to bring along in case they don't have a washcloth. -- /> link

-I also get drugged up before I go in for my MRIs because of the claustrophobia and when I come out I am super groggy and tired. Even if he isn't taking a muscle relaxant before, he probably won't be in the mood to do anything too strenuous afterwards, so on your way home from your work function, you can pick up his favorite fast food and you guys can eat in front of the tv.


Sorry it got so long. Hope some part of that was helpful.