Not Engaged Yet

Need some advice

My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and have talked about marriage, he has been hinting a lot at it lately, so I think maybe I might get engaged this year...

However I get worried about a wedding ceremony and how it would take place as we currently live in the Boston area with both of our family spread out everywhere, mainly on the opposit coast.  His nuclear family being in Seattle, extended family in Ohio, and my whole family being in California.

I am posting this in hopes that anyone out there has any advice on some options for me to think of on handeling this situation (when engaged) in the future.  Also, I am wondering if anyone has been in this situation, I would greatly appreciate any information from your experience.

Thank you!

Andrea


Re: Need some advice

  • cu97tigercu97tiger member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2013
    In Response to Re:Need some advice:My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and have talked about marriage, he has been hinting a lot at it lately, so I think maybe I might get engaged this year...However I get worried about a wedding ceremony and how it would take place as we currently live in the Boston area with both of our family spread out everywhere, mainly on the opposit coast. nbsp;His nuclear family being in Seattle, extended family in Ohio, and my whole family being in California.I am posting this in hopes that anyone out there has any advice on some options for me to think of on handeling this situation when engaged in the future. nbsp;Also, I am wondering if anyone has been in this situation, I would greatly appreciate any information from your experience.Thank you!Andrea Posted by andreasoulcastle Hi Andrea! First, I think this is something you REALLY shouldn't worry about until you are actually engaged. Wedding planning isn't as glamorous as it appears from the preengaged side of things, so there is really no point in subjecting yourself to it until it's necessary. Also, this is a conversation that you'll need to have with your thenfiance. He will have a say in where the wedding is, too. When the time comes, the two of you will find a suitable solution. My first thought was to have it where you live, my second to have it halfway between Seattle and where your family is in CA. For reference, my DH and I were married where we lived AZ. All of my family travelled from NY and VA and my friends from GA, SC, FL, IL, TN, CA, etc.
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  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    If I were you, I'd wait and discuss this with your SO when the time comes to start planning your wedding. He might have a strong opinion about it (mine did). 

    I'm originally from Philly and I also lived in DE for a bit. We live in NJ now. We have family in all of these states and others. I would have been happy getting married in DE (no tax and cheaper in general) but my FI really wanted to get married in NJ, where he's spent his whole life. I didn't have a strong preference so I was fine with getting married here. But as you see, it was a conversation we had together and a decision we made together (once we were engaged).

    Good luck and feel free to stick around!



  • We got married in Maine and had family there from MA, CT, NY, NJ, CA, VT, Portugal and Italy. Plan your wedding wherever you want to have it and whoever can come will come.
  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited January 2013
    I have cousins who live in CA and have some friends their, but almost all of their family, both nuclear and extended, is from the New England area. They planned their wedding for MA. Ditto PP's about talking to your FI about this.
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  • OP - Tiger is right, wedding planning can become very stressful...so there is no reason to burden yourself with those decisions before you're even engaged. Enjoy this stress-free dating time with your guy.

    When the time does come for you to plan your big day (after you're engaged), I have one piece of advice. Plan the wedding you and your FI want, not the wedding you thing everyone else wants. You will never be able to please all of your guests...and if you try, believe me it will be a stressful and painful process. FI and I have been trying to make every decision by asking ourselves "is this what will make US happy on our wedding day?". It may sound selfish to some, but it's not about being selfish. Your guests have the option to attend or not - you and your FI will have these memories of your day for the rest of your lives. It's ok to do whatever makes you both happy. 
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