A double wedding???!!!

eowyn3

My FI and I have been engaged for nearly a year and our wedding is still  just under six months away.  We didn't plan it that way we had to push the date back twice due to financial trouble and now finally we have a date that looks like it will work.  This past Saturday my sister's boyfriend proposed, which is great.  When it first happened they said that they wanted to get married in the spring too, but will wait until after my wedding so as not to steal my thunder.  Two days ago on the other hand my father expressed his concern about relatives who would have to travel all the way from Michigan to South Carolina for both weddings this spring.  He was specifically concerned about my 80 year old Grandparents.  I understand his concern and I share it, but he was suggesting having my sister's wedding the day after mine in which case I would have to postpone my honeymoon or miss my sister's wedding.  Also, wouldn't that still steal my thunder?  I love my sister and I feel for my grandparents having to travel so far.  If this was her first wedding it would be one thing but this will be a second marriage for both her and her fiancee whereas I have never been married before.  I don't know what to say.  I can't control what date she will pick.  But do I say something about it?  Won't that look like I'm unfeeling towards my grandparents?  But I have had my date set for a while and my FI and I have waited so long to get married, I don't want to delay my honeymoon any more and I don't want a double wedding.

I <3 Seabass

Your thunder pretty much ends when your reception does, so no I don't think she'd be stealing it. And technically this isn't a double wedding, more like back to back weddings.

mandyandmike2009

Ok I first why would you have to postpone your Honeymoon? If your sister has her wedding the day after yours you could say get married on a saturday, your sister get married on a sunday and you leave for your Honeymoon on Monday. Besides taking a day between the wedding and leaving for the honeymoon they say is a great idea. That is what I am doing so I am not rushed and can visit with out of town guests. With that being said I wouldnt think that would steal your thunder I would think it would steal your sisters thunder by getting married the day after you. If she is ok with it then  so be it. As long as she isnt wanting to get married before you then I would think it would be ok. It will just be very busy with the rehersals and rehersal dinners, unless you do them on the same day.

notquiteblushing

Your dad has a point about the family having to travel far and while his idea is unconventional it may work for your situation.  Also like PP said your wedding will be over so having your sister's wedding the next day isn't the end of the world.  Is your dad paying for both weddings?

Mrs.B6302007

Besides taking a day between the wedding and leaving for the honeymoon they say is a great idea.Ditto this!  We were married on a Saturday and our flight was on Tuesday.  Having those extra days in between was one of the best decisions we made.

eowyn3

To answer some questions.  I know it's not a double wedding, but at first I thought that's what he was hinting at.  And no my father is not paying for both weddings.  He will probably pay for my sister's but my FI and I decided to pay for ours ourselves since my parents are still paying for my sister's divorce and her rent on her apartment.  One big obstacle is that my FI doesn't like the idea.  I'm still reeling from the shock of her getting engaged (I didn't even know they were serious and only met the guy a couple of times.)

Leah&Christian09

If you are old enough to get married, you are old enough to not worry about having your thunder stolen. Many couples get married on Saturday and wait until Monday to leave for their honeymoon, so waiting 24 hours really isn't a delay. Many couples I know waited a few months before their honeymoon. One day isn't going to kill you.

ffmaid

If you do not want to have back to back weddings and sister plans it for the sunday after your date you can always move your own.

Pirata13

And at least your wedding will be first. And I echo pps who said it's best to give yourself some time to breathe anyway before the honeymoon. We're waiting a few weeks, but even if we were going right after, we wouldn't leave til Monday.

nde99

Although I understand where other posters and your dad are coming from, I have to admit that I agree with your FI. The whole thing seems strange to me. That being said, in the end being married to your FI is the most important thing.

tidetravel

Hold up.  Your parents are still paying for your sister's divorce, but she is getting married again to a guy that she's only dated for a short period of time?  AND they're paying for her wedding?Keep your date - let you sis choose her own.

airidh80

Hmmm. I wouldn't say it's stealing your thunder, but I have to admit I wouldn't be super-happy about it either. Though not necessarily for the reasons you mention. Delaying the honeymoon by a day isn't a big deal; we're actually taking an extra day before we leave, just to have a second to breathe! But as a guest, the thought of going to two weddings, two days in a row, makes me extremely tired. While I definitely see your father's point about the relatives traveling in for two separate weddings, I would be massively burned out for the second wedding. And I'm in my twenties! I have to think that an older guest would be even more fatigued. In that way, I think it's sort of short-changing your sister's wedding. Anyway. From a guest's perspective, I actually don't like this idea. And I think you and your sister are probably going to both be a little too stressed out and/or tired to properly enjoy each other's weddings.

airidh80

I should amend my last post to say that if you're both having more laid-back weddings, ie, small church weddings with a cake and punch reception, over by the afternoon, then the two weddings is less of an issue for your guests. But even so, as a guest, I'd probably be like, "You guys want me to give up my entire weekend to weddings?" If you're both having evening weddings, alcohol, dancing, etc, then yeah. That's too much.

Asheia

Your sister should wait a year. I don't think she would steal your thunder, but seriously? She's having Daddy pay for her divorce, new wedding, and rent?? If I were you, I would suggest to her and your father that they wait until the following spring, and even possibly plan to have the wedding in Michigan so your family won't need to travel. It is better for a few younger people to go from South Carolina to Michigan than any elderly people. Since it is her second wedding, she should be able hold out for a year... maybe pay for the first one before starting the second.

suz0989

Wow, two weddings in a row?  I wouldn't want to do that if I was a guest!  And I completely understand why you would feel upset about the whole thing.  I would too.  Why does your sister need to get married so soon?  Couldn't she wait 6 months or more after yours?  I know you can't choose your sister's date, but if you guys are close, I would sit down and talk to her about it.  Don't be pushy, just talk to her about how  you feel.  Chances are, she doesn't want the wedding the day after yours, it wouldn't be as special for her either.  Good luck!  Hopefully, it works out for you both!

Leah&Christian09

Do not ask your sister to wait. That would be really bridezilla. If you don't want to be that close, move yours. You have 0 say in when she has her wedding.

peachkins

I agree with two weddings in one weekend being too much for your guests, and I would mention that to your dad.  I also highly recommend giving yourself an extra day between your wedding and your honeymoon.  That's what FI and I are doing, and I'm so glad we decided on it.  We'll be able to sleep in the next day and we won't have to try and find time to pack in the crazy time before the wedding.  Best of all, I'll be able to spend some time with my OOT relatives- my aunt is having a cookout the day after the wedding with a lot of family that I normally don't get to see, and I'm really looking forward to seeing them in a more relaxed atmosphere.

kikibaby

Ditto Tide.

[Deleted User]

I agree with Tide as well as pp who said I wouldn't be totally into this weekend full of weddings as a guest.

CallyKhS

Okay.. so this is my opinion on your situation. Only my thoughts and opinions, I'm not meaning to attack anyone.First of all, I agree with your FI and I would be irked if this happened to me, sister or not. Your dad has a fair argument in being concerned about your grandparents but for you to get pushed into somewhat sharing your weekend with your sister isn't a compromise just so the family doesn't have to travel twice in a few months.I think you should talk to your father and sister both, if you're not even sure they're serious and if the wedding is really going to happen just ask her about it. And I'd take your father aside and talk to him as an adult about him paying for your sisters on going divorce, rent and now her next wedding? I'm assuming he paid for her first too? He should take a step back and think about that before saying he'll pay for the second. Who knows if your sister and the guy will be together come spring if she's only known him for a short while.(No offense to any of those women out there who get married in a short time, it's just a thought!)I didn't see anyone else asking you about your honeymoon.. just telling you that you should wait a day or two because it won't be any different. Do you already have plane tickets/hotel reservations for the day after? If you do I wouldn't change it and if you've been waiting a year to get married in the first place I wouldn't change your dates or plans AT ALL. People who push you into changing plans as important as wedding ones are rude and inconsiderate in my book.So again.. I'd just talk to your sister and father both to see where they are at for sure before worrying too much. Sorry about the long response.. hope it helps some!

bethy362

I think that you have every right to be upset about this suggestion.  You are not being a bridezilla be saying that you would like to have your own wedding weekend.  It is a natural feeling.  Also, I think that some of the others are right about it being too much for one weekend.  I think that your dad and sister mean well, but that they haven't considered what damper this will put on your wedding day.