who will walk me to the alter?

TeamCampos08

well my real dad has not been apart of my life since i was at least 6 or 7. he heard about the engagment and suddendly calls me. he made it clear that he will walk with me that day. (when i haven't asked him too, or even invited him)I've had a step dad since i was 4 years old. he supported me and my mother and older brother. i always planned on him walking me down.i don't want to be a B**** to my real dad, but i just dont want him to be at my wedding.... like at all!is that wrong?how do i tell him??

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If you don't want your dad to be at your wedding at all and don't care about having a future relationship with him, don't invite him. Don't tell him where or when the wedding is, either. But be assured, this will guarantee he will be hurt and angry. It will destroy any and all chance of a future relationship, now and in the future.If you want to remain on good terms with him, consider not having either of them walk you down the aisle to avoid hard feelings. Maybe work on your relationship with your dad before the wedding so you can be on good terms.How did he find out about your wedding? You must have SOME kind of relationship with him?

goheels05

I agree with PP.  What did you say when he called you and said he would walk you down the aisle?

peachkins

If you and your real dad are not close and you don't want him at the wedding, then no, I don't think it's wrong not to invite him.  I don't really think there's a good way to tell him- no matter how you put it he's going to be upset, because clearly this is important to him.  If you're planning on calling him to let him know your decision, you may want to write down what you want to say to him.  I find that if I write what I need to say ahead of time, I have a much better time of getting my thoughts out. 

tidetravel

"Bio dad, you gave up the right to walk me down the aisle when you walked out on me at the age of 6. My real dad (step dad) will be walking me down the aisle."

TeamCampos08

the only thing that i got in common with him is my twin brother and sister. other than that nothing else. (and my brother and sister dont live with him, but they talk every once and awhile. & they're in my wedding) i dont want to rely on him because even though i could afford prom and graduation... i asked him for help and he just said NO! so how can i trust him now!? honestly i'm not worried about him getting hurt, im worried about him ruining my wedding

TeamCampos08

tidetravel thats the best way that i could think of saying it! thank you

ck9586

I totally agree with you...but one of the PP was right in saying that you need to think ahead as well. This very well could ensure that you will have absolutely no relationship with him in the future. My daughter did the same thing (except she asked me to do it) and he stopped speaking to her for about six months and then finally returned his RSVP card marked "will not be attending". I mean, the RSVP card! We're pretty sure now that my SO is the only maternal grandfather her kids will have, sadly. So keep that in mind too. Again though, I do agree with you

dsouldiva

ditto tide

Asheia

It isn't wrong to not invite him. However, I don't agree with PP that not inviting him will ruin any chance at a future relationship. My mother had a bad relationship with her father. He left when she was young and she was forced to grow up and be the second parent way too early. When she got engaged he said he would walk her down the aisle. She said no thanks. She did not invite her father to her wedding. He did not show up. Her step father walked her down the aisle. Barely two years after her wedding her and her father started to work on their relationship and things got better. They aren't best of friends, but they have a relationship. Don't for a second think that because your bio dad isn't walking you down the aisle or even attending your wedding that you are cutting him out of your life forever. If you chose to have him in your life, I think he has shown by calling you on this occasion that there is a chance you guys could have a relationship...if YOU wanted one.

TeamCampos08

ashiea thank you! your right! i dont want a relationship with him right now... but who knows about the future! either way i wont be at loss... that was when i was 6! thank you all for your input! i've made up my mind! thanks

lilcassers

I am in the same boat, but I do want him there because by him showing interest makes me happy that he wants to be there. However, my mom is walking me down and thats all there is to it. This is personal choice. Know that if you want to reconcile one day, this may make it bitter. Maybe to be safe I would invite him and let him bring a buddy if he doesn't have a date.. they way it won't be as akward and he will have fun with whoever he brings and not try to interfere with you or anything.