WEDDING MONEY ISSUES...PLLLLEASE HELP!

SarahSmile23

#1. I am from the south. In the current workforce, there are more proven cases of gender discrimination with regards to pay than racial discrimination. You'll NEVER hear me say that I can't save money for something I want because I'M A WOMAN.Again look at mexicans who work in the food ind. or farming. Tell me they get paid the same as a white person?#2. This was such an irrelevant point that I chose to ignore it the first time. LEGAL Mexican workers are protected by employment laws. If they feel they are not receiving the same wages as whites who are working beside them in the fields, they are more than welcome to contact the equal opportunity offices. They are also welcome to find a different job if they do not feel they are being treated equally.

goheels05

And the black card is a very valid one. I am white but i see every day that in some places of the US you get paid less depending on the color of your skin. Think the mexicans in the fields in CALI, tell me they get paid the same as a white person in the field in OH.You're comparing apples to oranges. I am white and I get paid less than a Hispanic CPA in NYC. It's not because I'm white.  It's because cost of living there is higher, as well as a multitude of other factors (he/she could have more experience, work for a larger firm, etc).  Comparison FAIL.

skhynes

Read before you make yourself look like a foolMaybe you should take your own advice.  She sure as hell used it as an excuse...she was the one who brought up the fact that she doesn't make enough money because she's black.  And maybe you should learn the difference between "your" and "you're" before trying to prove how much you know about race relations.

bingham101

SarahSmile I like your point... although this is a foolish debate. I sure in the h*** would hope those mexicans in Cali are making a lot more than the white guys here in Ohio . The cost of living is so much more in Cali than here in Ohio that you can't even compare apples to apples like that. Of course people are going to make different wages in states.

bingham101

in different** states

SarahSmile23

you two are blind. She never said anything about being unable to save money. reread the thread. ziti asked her why she isn't able to save money. she responded that it's because she is black.also, married ladies are the best resource here on the knot. it's pretty lame to try to banish us.

babbles270

Actually, I like hearing from people who have been married awhile.  They have much more experience than I do on many issues that come up, and it's a good perspective to look at.

duckie1905

She never said she has them pay for everything she wants she said they will give her anything that she NEEDS.Okay but in reality she doesn't need a $10,000 wedding that she is already over-budget on.  If she wants to get married she can go to the nearest courthouse and do so for $40 (which incidentally, is $160 less than she is already overbudget).So yes, they give her whatever she WANTS because she wants is a big, expensive wedding with no regard for her FI's worries about acutally paying for it.  She assumes that since they'll always provided for her and her wants they will continue to do so.This has nothing to do with the color of her skin but instead, with her poor saving habits, the spoiled and ungrateful way she was raised to behave, and her misguided faith in the fact that her family will always give her whatever she wants. 

BentleyBaby

You're comparing apples to oranges. I am white and I get paid less than a Hispanic CPA in NYC. It's not because I'm white. It's because cost of living there is higher, as well as a multitude of other factors (he/she could have more experience, work for a larger firm, etc). Comparison FAIL.This. You also have to take into consideration WHAT job anyone is doing. You can't compare a receptionist with a CEO, for example.Regardless of the situation- gender, race, income, job, education, etc- I hate people when they play the "victim."FYI- I'm not insisting OP is playing the victim here. But it did come across that way originally. I'm just saying that in general.

zitiqueen

Who assigned you to be the Board Police?This is a public message board. Anybody can post here, pumpkin. Even people who can't spell.

skhynes

If you think everyone gets paid the same across the board no matter your gender or race you must live in a diff country than i do. FFS woman, no one ever said that.  We just think it's completely irrelevant to her original post, and crappy to bring up race at all in this discussion.   Why don't you give this woman the advise she is asking for instead of spending time on here bashing her.Advice: Her FI is right.  It's foolish to count on money from others until you see it.  I've seen it time and time again on these boards where family members back out of paying for things they originally said they would pay for.  Especially in the current economy. 

SarahSmile23

"your" shows posession."you're" is a contraction that means "you are."I'm pretty darn nice and helpful. I just don't tolerate excuses and generalizations that aren't based on any fact. If she thinks her job is discriminating against her because of her skin color, she should go to the Equal Opportunity offices. The burden is on the employer to prove they are NOT discriminating. Blanket statements like saying you can't save money because you are "black" aren't productive.

BentleyBaby

your =/= you + are you're = you + are

skhynes

You're right, if someone says something completely absurd we should just ignore it and poiltely answer her original inquiry without question.  Got it.And it sounds like you have a little bit of an obsession with ziti.  You bring her up every time you post.  Get over it. 

BentleyBaby

its = possessive.it's = it + is

BentleyBaby

YOU'RE welcome. Have a great day!

goheels05

ziti- its still a wedding page HELLO if your already married and NOT GIVING ADVISE then why dont you just go away?Actually, look at the top of your screen.  This is the Chit Chat board.  Ziti and everyone else can talk about whatever they want; no one has to give advice (especially since good advice has already been given).  A good debate is encouraged here. 

SarahSmile23

 I could care less what you people think of me.Ok, miss speedy. This means that you do care. That's not a typo. That's misunderstanding an expression.Also, I am a human resources representative and I did give the OP helpful information in case she is facing discrimination in the workforce.

Leah&Christian09

Ty: practice what you preach. You've made several posts in this thread, but I see absolutely nothing helpful to the OP. All you've done is air your obsession with Ziti. Maybe you should take your own advice and just leave if you can't be helpful.

MissJohnny

I need to probably clarify one thing before I leave this topic alone completely. What I typed was not what I truly meant about not making enough money because I'm a black woman. I see it's caused a lot of controversy here. I solely meant it as a defendent rebuttal to Ziti's snarky comments. I received the notion that she thought I was some lazy lil' girl who sits on "granddaddy's wallet," and I wanted Mrs. Ziti to know that, yes, I am black, and that I do work in order to pull myself up from under my family and save on my own. It's hard to portray a tone of voice up here that doesn't sound whiny or bitchy. I thank everyone for their advise. Because of this, I'm gonna sit down with my FI this evening, review a budget, and set reasonable goals, then talk to my family about their contribution. Yes, slavery was over years ago. That's hilarious...because I'm black, my ancestors were slaves. Well said. On another point, good luck and plentiful blessings, rising brides.

skhynes

WTF?  Seriously, you are getting WAY too worked up.  I can't control what other people post on here, and frankly I don't want to.  I don't know who ziti is, but she's allowed to post an opinion just like everyone else.  It's the internet, people will judge what you put out there. 

salt78

[i]BentleyBaby- thanks for the lesson i type 98 words per min, and i dont think this board is important enough for me to go back and try to change my errors.[/i] Yeah well I type 143 WPM. And I can spell. So neener neener.

BentleyBaby

Typing speed doesn't mean jack unless YOU'RE accurate as well.askjdf;aoijdfa;k ndc;oiua;dljfadsuifoadu.^ I probably typed that at 200 wpm.

SarahSmile23

I'm gonna sit down with my FI this evening, review a budget, and set reasonable goals, then talk to my family about their contribution. Great idea, OP! Good luck! And thanks for clarifying your intentions behind your remarks.

skhynes

OP - sounds like a good plan!  Just make sure you're not totally dependant on contributions from your family so you don't end up in a sticky situation.  It's good to budget for what you could potentially afford if you had to, and then anything you get from your family on top of that is icing on the cake!

salt78

Actually I've seen ziti give excellent advice on here many times. So what's the problem?

goheels05

my issue with ziti is only because I'm sick of watching her bully people on here.. its not the first time she did it to me like i said before and I'm sick of it.We don't need you to be the bully-police around here.  I'm the moderator of this board.  If you have a problem, you come to me.  The first message on this board says "NEW?  READ THIS FIRST." My contact info is in there.

Leah&Christian09

It makes me not even want to post my questions here. Bye!

MissJohnny

Mrs. Go Heels, question: How do I delete this posting? lol

goheels05

Aww, don't delete!  You seemed to take the advice you got in stride, even the jabs about pulling the black card.