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My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material!

Crazy what can happen in a week. Since I'm anonymous and have rarely contributed to the forums I thought I would share my story. It's so unbelievable I woke up this morning thinking it was just all a bad dream but came to the realization that it indeed did happen when I saw my items packed up in moving boxes. My wedding day, which was set to happen in 2 weeks has now been cancelled. I've left my FH and lost a few best friends in the process .... but seriously, WHO does this happen too?!?! Stories like this belong on fake 'reality' TV shows! Not real life!!!!!

I want to thank those who contributed and did their best to give me information regarding my last post about the STD issue. Here's the story behind the post:

My FH & I had our bachelor/bachelorette parties on the same weekend. Me and my girls had a swanky hotel room and went to a popular bar nearby, FH and his guys got their own hotel room (different hotel than me) on basically the very end of the long strip of bars and went out the bars/clubs down their way. The plan was to all do our own thing (guys w guys, girls w girls) for the party night and the following morning My FH & I were treating everyone to a big brunch to thank our wedding party.

The night started out fantastic. My girls took me out to a delicious dinner, showered me with inappropriate gifts (adult toys, lingerie) and then fed me my weight in shots & mixed drinks. The last thing I remember was dancing on a bar. I woke up the next morning with a killer hangover in our hotel room with over half the girls missing. Since most of them are single, I had assumed they went home with guys to do a one night stand type deal and didn't think much of it.

Fastfoward to current day: I find out I have an STD and going to the doctors does nothing but reassure me that it is, in fact, an STD. My FH and I both are clean (we've been tested). So I had thought that I either got it from a friend sharing a drink OR my FH cheated. My MOH came over to talk and filled me in with some details ....

Party night: after partying and drinking around 11PM I had my fill and needed to be taken back to my hotel room for some much needed sleep. 2 of my girls carried me home and put me to bed. The rest of the girls weren't done partying so they continued to bar hop and ended up running into the guys. They all went to the strip club and the girls paid for my FH to go into "the red room" (aka special services). Following the stripclub, they all decided to continue drinking at the guy's hotel room since most of the bars were closing. Well, the guy's hotel room had a strip pole and my promiscuous friend thought it would be fun to play stripper. Somehow, her playing stripper resulted in group sex between 3 groomsmen, my FH and 4 of my bridesmaids. One of the groomsmen decided to videotape some of it on this cellphone which was sent out to one of his buddies, who forwarded it to his girlfriend who happened to be one of the friends who took me back to the hotel to go to bed.

FH and I had a very long discussion. He promised it wouldn't happen again. I left him. I'm sad, hurt and heartbroken but I've come to the realization that I'm happy he decided to be an idiot and cheat because he saved me from getting in a marraige where cheating might've happened. Thank goodness we don't have kids!

Thought you all would enjoy the story. Count your blessings every night and be happy the one you love isn't off screwing your friends (and possibly his friends too...)
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Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material!

  • Hopefully that's not too difficult to read.... I apologize for misspellings/grammar errors & things that don't make sense. While typing that up made me even more angry resulting in what may be confusing story telling!
  • mmw&lmdmmw&lmd member
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments
    edited February 2012
    Holy crap - I'm really sorry to hear about this... That's nuts.  Best wishes, and glad you didn't go through with it after finding out.
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  • So first of all, your ex-FI, his friends, and your friends who were involved are grossly inappropriate human beings and you're well rid of all of them.

    Second of all, I guess it's safe to assume you did in fact get herpes from your ex-FI (which, frankly, always seemed like the most logical explanation anyway).

    I'm sorry this happened to you, but at least you got the chance to see your ex for who he is before the wedding rather than after.
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  • Wow.

    I don't even know what to say but sorry and I am glad you found out before the wedding!!
  • edited February 2012
    Woah! I'm so sorry this happened to you! I do remember your original post. I'm so glad you have the strength to do what is best.

    I can't even imagine what he or the friends would say about all this.


    Edit: You are So SO much better off without your ex FI and ex friends. What they all did is absolutely terrible!! They are all disgusting.
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  • Wow. I am soso sorry, but glad you found out what a bunghole he is before going through with the wedding. You are better off without all of them.
  • Holy $hit! If I could give you a hug, I would.

    I think you're very right in the mindset that it's best that you found out now, instead of after the wedding. It hurts right now I'm sure, but it has saved you so much more hurt during a divorce.

    I would clear yourself of all individuals that were involved. You don't need that in your life and what they did showed they have zero respect for you, your relationship and your friendships.

    I wish you the best of luck in the future! You're welcome to chit chat here too if you want more people to talk to :) We're all great listeners and we'll tell ya the truth too.

    Do what's best for you and your health. You're better off. I know its hard to hear, but it's true. Just always remember, you deserve better than that!
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  • I am so sorry this happened to you! I'm glad you had the strength to realize this is unacceptable and get out of the relationship. You deserve better.
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  • Wow. That is crazy and really shitty that all of those people did that to you. You did the right thing by ditching your FI and all of the crappy slutty friends. Hope you are doing ok with all of it. Best of luck to you.
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  • Kimster 05Kimster 05 member
    First Comment
    edited February 2012
    @ILoveMilkDuds, I changed the wedding date this morning when I signed in. It didn't make any sense to keep our wedding date on here as a reminder as what could have been. The last thing I need are reminder updates from the knot as our (what was) wedding date approaches.

    Thank you for all your support. It's a crazy story and at this point all I can do is just laugh and be happy I didn't get stuck! I'm not sure if the STD came from one of the bridal party members or the strip club but all will be well. There were some grossly inapproprate details but I spared you all lol. 
     
    I'm off for bigger and better things now!
  • I'm so sorry to hear that.  

    I broke off an engagement once with about 6 weeks to go when my fiance admitted to cheating on me (and getting the other girl pregnant in the process....she later miscarried).    We ended up getting SERIOUS counseling and got married about a year later, but it was a very difficult and verbally abusive marriage (on his part), resulting in his depression and ultimately his suicide about 5 years ago.   Not quite as Jerry Springer as your story is, but still feels really weird to talk about, like it happened to someone else and not to me.

    Anyway, I think you did the right thing by calling off our wedding and leaving him.  In hindsight, I often wonder what would have happened if my late husband and I never ended up getting married...would he still be alive?    Would I have ever met the wonderful man who is now my fiance?    Guess I'll never know.


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  • I remember your original post, I am so sorry for you! But like PP so happy that you found out now, until after you married the scum bag. Keep your head up! And your prince will come and sweep you off of your feet!
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  • Oh wow. I don't even know what I'd do if I found out my FI and friends were that disgusting. Glad to see you're handling it pretty well considering the circumstances and I agree that it's good you know now how terrible of a person he is now instead of finding out after the wedding and dealing with an annulment or divorce.

    Hope you can find some better friends and eventually a new guy who will treat you with the respect and love you deserve!
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  • Holy shitballs.  

    Sorry you got the herp.  Frown
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  • WOW, just wow. I'm glad you're moving on.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_my-life-should-be-a-soap-opera-great-reading-material?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:2c9c8b10-4d38-42de-b395-234fea69a222Post:0d31f116-2270-4cef-ac0e-8128bb884efc">Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material!</a>:
    [QUOTE]@ILoveMilkDuds, I changed the wedding date this morning when I signed in. It didn't make any sense to keep our wedding date on here as a reminder as what could have been. The last thing I need are reminder updates from the knot as our (what was) wedding date approaches. Thank you for all your support. It's a crazy story and at this point all I can do is just laugh and be happy I didn't get stuck<strong>! I'm not sure if the STD came from one of the bridal party members or the strip club </strong>but all will be well. There were some grossly inapproprate details but I spared you all lol.    I'm off for bigger and better things now!
    Posted by Kimster 05[/QUOTE]

    I'm sorry you are dealing with this- I cant even imagine what this is like for you.  However, I'm just going to put it out there that you would not be showing signs or symptoms of Herpes within a few days of this sexcapade happening, so I'm guessing he has had this for awhile and was either unaware or too cowardly to tell you.

    I hope you give yourself time to heal emotionally. Best wishes.

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  • I'm glad that something so outright obvious happened to make you realize that you needed to leave him. Because it wasn't just this one incident that gave you the STD, as it wouldn't have shown up that fast. I'm really sorry that you're going through all this. **hugs**
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_my-life-should-be-a-soap-opera-great-reading-material?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:2c9c8b10-4d38-42de-b395-234fea69a222Post:5730ee7f-68b5-4351-be02-3bb845a607d6">Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Holy shitballs.   Sorry you got the herp.  
    Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

    I feel like this should be on a greeting card.
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  • ElleB87ElleB87 member
    1000 Comments
    edited February 2012
    I'm so sorry you're going through this. Your ex and your ex friends are huge dirt bags and you're way better off without them. I also commend your attitude...if I found out what you did and that I was stuck with herpes I'd be effing sh*t up.
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  • I'm so so sorry. I think you are doing the right thing and moving on, but just make sure you keep the true friends and family close right now. Hugs.

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  • I am so sorry you have to go through something like this.

    I am in awe of your optimistic outlook on everything, truly amazing. You are off for bigger and better things, and after this, you definitely deserve it!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_my-life-should-be-a-soap-opera-great-reading-material?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:2c9c8b10-4d38-42de-b395-234fea69a222Post:4203ed13-e690-4fd0-8aca-8234f1f69899">Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material! : Sorry, I'm just usually skeptical when someone who has no posting history here comes in with balls to the walls drama. TBH, if my engagement had just ended the last place I'd be is on a wedding message board with a  bunch of strangers.  I hope you have some IRL people who can help you through this and assist you with canceling your vendors and notifying all of your guests.
    Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

    She told the boards about the herpes recently, so perhaps she just wanted to catch us up, since a bunch of people told her there was very little likelihood that she could get it anywhere but from her FI if she has been exclusive.

    OP, I am SO sorry to hear about this.  What a dissappointment.  I hope that you have good friends other than the ones who slept with your FI who you can fall back on.
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  • edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_my-life-should-be-a-soap-opera-great-reading-material?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:2c9c8b10-4d38-42de-b395-234fea69a222Post:11a023d5-867e-4d13-aa39-35355ed191e6">Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material! : I feel like this should be on a greeting card.
    Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/14/4/bedf8147-f8c4-49d9-b485-21514e84b6ee.large.png" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/14/4/bedf8147-f8c4-49d9-b485-21514e84b6ee.medium.png" alt="" /></a>
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  • Damn Ecards. Always beating me to it!
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  • edited February 2012
    Holy hell. OP, I'm so sorry for you.
    ETA: For some reason this posted before I was finished typing. Stupid TK.
    Anyway, I hope you are okay. Know that things will turn around and you will be better for it. You're free of that asshole and his filthy peen now.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_my-life-should-be-a-soap-opera-great-reading-material?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:2c9c8b10-4d38-42de-b395-234fea69a222Post:9a82d2b7-9556-411a-908b-627b618d7d9d">Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material! : I'm sorry you are dealing with this- I cant even imagine what this is like for you.  However,<strong> I'm just going to put it out there that you would not be showing signs or symptoms of Herpes within a few days of this sexcapade happening, so I'm guessing he has had this for awhile and was either unaware or too cowardly to tell you. </strong>I hope you give yourself time to heal emotionally. Best wishes.
    Posted by button6004[/QUOTE]

    This is not true.  Herpes simplex 2(HSV2), which is the STD form, can start showing symptoms 2-8 days after initial contact.
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  • I'm so sorry to hear all of this OP.  I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now.  *hugs*
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_my-life-should-be-a-soap-opera-great-reading-material?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:2c9c8b10-4d38-42de-b395-234fea69a222Post:667943a5-7a9f-4f2d-a691-f31026faec21">Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My life should be a soap opera. Great reading material! : This is not true.  Herpes simplex 2(HSV2), which is the STD form, can start showing symptoms 2-8 days after initial contact.
    Posted by vsgal[/QUOTE]

    But she also already was tested and got a positive test result back. Blood tests take at least a few days to a week to get back. During a time where I supported a friend who was sexually assaulted, doctors advised her that she would need to wait at least a month to be tested accurately.  I also read the first post earlier this week.  Essentially, the timing just doesnt add up.  Even if she had sex with her now ex the day after the parties, it wouldnt have been enough time between exposure and her diagnosis for symptoms to have seriously developed. Which is why I am skeptical and think that former FI has had this for awhile.

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  • Wow. Just WOW. 

     I don't post on here very often, but *HUGS* to you Kimster. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. You deserve so much better than this. I'm glad you seem to be handling it all very well. Better things are coming your way =] 
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  • I am so sorry!! That is so wildy innapropriate not to mention vile!  Glad you mad the decision to leave and not stick around.  Glad it didn't happen after marriage!  Best of luck with your future!!

    Hope he is happy with himself and his STD.
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