Flower Girls

stacie+luciano

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:6c2c6c57-331c-44d7-ba81-d04fd60ddee6">Re: Bald Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bald Flower Girls : Wow...so now she made her friend create a brand new account to come to her defense?  Why can't she just get back on herself?    OP- you are now just being a coward in addition to being a ridiculous bridezilla.... And no, I wouldn't have been caught off guard.  If my FI's cousin told us that her daughter (who is our flower girl) shaved her head for cancer, I wouldn't have gone on some bridezilla tirade about "how dare they not consult me and ruin my vision for my wedding". <strong> I would have thought she was such a courageous 5-year-old and probably would have started thinking about some way that I could announce at my wedding what a selfless act she had done....not worry about how to cover it up.</strong> Compassionate or not, the fact that she is upset that no one consulted her about their personal hair choices is the definition of bridezilla.  Good cause or not, it's none of her freaking business what ANYONE does with their hair.  OP, OP's FI, and OP's friend...you all need to get over yourselves.  Seriously.  And you are all making yourselves look bad by getting everyone and their mother to create an account just to defend your superficial request.
Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This. A zillion percent. 

</div>

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:b9ce08ff-ac11-4602-9590-9f0573c8194e">Re: Bald Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry I wasn't trying to make this conversation worse or look like minions were coming to defend anyone. I created this account a year ago.  All I was trying to say is that I think this got skewed into a bad way. These girls did a commendable thing that I wouldn't have the guts to do.<strong> I am proud of these little girls too.  Cancer sucks.  I have lost too many people to it.</strong>
Posted by tracipline[/QUOTE]

So let me ask you a question then...do you think your friend is correct to be upset that they shaved their heads for cancer without consulting her first because it would ruin her 'vision' for her wedding day and wanted ideas on how to cover it up?  Because that doesnt' sound like she's proud of them or very compassionate about the cause.  It sounds like she just wanted them to look cute for her pictures (especially since they said they may not have chosen them to be flower girls in the first place if they already had short hair)  I'm sorry, but I just don't see how that's a person I'd even want to be friends with....

fireytiger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:8c49b654-5258-4907-99ec-7d245bb31c4a">Re: Bald Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]I think everyone responding to this post is missing the bride's point.  I am a best friend of the bride and she is the most compassionate person I have ever met. She is also a nurse. So trust me...she understands what cancer is about. Both her and myself have lost family memebers to cancer and I didn't take her question as being an anti-cancer rant.  This situation just caught her by surprise that's all.  <strong>She is not in any way trying to say that people have to ask her opinion on every little thing.</strong> She was merely asking for thoughts of what should be done or if anything even should be done. Please stop attacking people that you don't even know.  <strong>You can't tell me that it wouldn't have caught you off guard if someone in your wedding party had done the same thing.</strong>  It was just surprising...she isn't mad just seeking opinions. And speaking of being mature adults...maybe all of you should start acting like them by treating peers with respect instead of by using malicious words on someone you don't even know. 
Posted by tracipline[/QUOTE]

Except that in her OP she specifically said that the mother of these two girls didn't tell her or ask if it was okay first. Then she later went on to say that "At least they could have ran it by me and maybe postponed the shaving until after the wedding." That implies that their mother should have asked the bride for permission first, which is ludicrous. She is their MOTHER, and she has every right to make that decision without having to get permission from anyone else first, with the possible exception being their father. Maybe you should actually READ the stuff your "best friend" is saying, and then get back to us about how mean we're being.

Oh, and for the record, if you'd bothered to read anything ELSE anyone had said, you would know that nobody else would be all upset and flipping out about someone in their WP shaving their head, or getting a new tattoo, or whatever else they wanted to do with their bodies. Why? Because the people on this forum are actually mature enough to realize that the people in their wedding party are special regardless of their physical appearances, and they value their friendships and family members more than their "wedding day vision", and how their pictures would turn out.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt on this one and assuming that you're just going off of what your friend told you, rather than what you've read. But if you actually have READ what she has said and what others have said, and you're still defending her, then you're just as despicable as her and her fiance.

RamonaFlowers

I spent the majority of my engagement not even sure whether or not my own sister/BM was actually going to be able to attend my wedding due to her many mental health issues. She was going through a very difficult period with her bi-polar disorder-in addition to her already big problems, she was also suffering post-partum depression, and found out that she was pregnant again, so she couldn't be on any medications that could possibly alleviate the situation. There were several times where we thought she might have to be institutionalized indefinitely.

If anybody did something "shocking", like shaving their heads, I would have been shocked that they shaved their heads ... not that they had the nerve to dare do so before my wedding. Like I have said several times in this post already: it's all about perspective. Going through all of the issues I did with my sister, I seriously did. not. give. a. damn. what anybody in my WP did to their physical appearance. The only thing that mattered to me was that they were all able to be there with us while we said our vows.

pixiedust84

Wow, OP - you are so very lucky to have such brave and compassionate little girls in your life. What an amazing decision they made to raise funds to fight a terrible disease. They are awesome.

THAT should have been your first thought when you heard they shaved their heads. Shame on you.

GoodLuckBear14

So I choose my cousins two little girls, 6 and 3, to be my flower girls for my wedding August 8. They did have cute little girl curls until today when I found out they had shaved their heads for a cancer fundraiser. Their mother did not tell me ahead of time, or has told me in any way. Now my two little flower girls will have hair maybe 1-2 inches long. What do I do? Should I have them ware hats? That wasnt my original plan. Should I have them wear head bands with big flowers? Or should I just say not have any at all. I dont know how to approach the mother and discuss my thoughts with her, I don't want to go Bridezilla on her.

Attn FI and BFF -

everything that is bolded was completely unecessary to her question.  What is bolded and esp. underlined make the OP look like a selfcentered bridezilla.

KellyBrian2013

Wow. I wish this was MUD... I really can't believe people are so shallow.

As for OP's fiance: If anyone in my wedding party dyes or cuts their hair ro gets a new tattoo just before my wedding? I'll still love them for them, because THAT is why they are in the wedding party. NOT because I thought they'd "look good" walking down the AISLE or in pictures, but because they are the people that are nearest and dearest to FI & me.

Oh, and FYI: FI, 2 BM's, and myself (bride!) will all have tattoos visible... and potentially MOH if she decides to get one before then. Hell - *I* might have a few more before then.

GET OVER YOURSELVES.

These are not your children. If you are SO concerned about how they look versus the amazing act they just did, then politely (LOL) remove them from your wedding to save their mother some trouble, and end that friendship... clearly, they don't need "friends" like you.


ETA Also, deleting the original post and changing the title of the thread doesn't change what was originally written AND quoted. But nice try.

KateyHumbert

Since you all have nothing better to do but comment on wedding posts like this, as indicated by some of your total posts tally (+17500) really?, Read this.

http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html

 Here's a mature forum that can respond appropriately and not personally attack a situation and call people horrible names. A car forum full of men was much more helpful than a wedding forum. This whole thing was obviosly a waste of my time. Perhpas you should get to know someone before you judge them on a few sentances they wrote.

Ghoti

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:460afdd5-124d-4052-82fe-6ae647a24a34">Re: Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]Since you all have nothing better to do but comment on wedding posts like this, as indicated by some of your total posts tally (+17500) really?, Read this. <a href="http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html</a>  Here's a mature forum that can respond appropriately and not personally attack a situation and call people horrible names. A car forum full of men was much more helpful than a wedding forum. This whole thing was obviosly a waste of my time. Perhpas you should get to know someone before you judge them on a few sentances they wrote.
Posted by KateyHumbert[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yes, you are the epitome of maturity, whining about your amazing flower girls because they wont match your pretty princess day, having your fiance come and "explain" that he too is a douche, and then having your best friend validate your lack of perspective and call *us* meanies. </div><div>Those girls would be better without people like you in their lives. Beautiful young souls, who aren't vain or petty, who shave their heads to support their mother and those they love who are dealing with cancer, are going to be crushed by your complete lack of empathy. You are in lala-land if you think for one second that your party photos are more important than what they are standing for.

</div>

Ghoti

Also, there is no point to DDing, everything you've said has been quoted. I suggest you change your screenname, or continue to get your wedding advice from a bunch of men on a car forum.

Good luck with your wedding!

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:460afdd5-124d-4052-82fe-6ae647a24a34">Re: Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]Since you all have nothing better to do but comment on wedding posts like this, as indicated by some of your total posts tally (+17500) really?, Read this. <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html">http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html</a>  Here's a mature forum that can respond appropriately and not personally attack a situation and call people horrible names. A car forum full of men was much more helpful than a wedding forum. This whole thing was obviosly a waste of my time. Perhpas you should get to know someone before you judge them on a few sentances they wrote.
Posted by KateyHumbert[/QUOTE]

Where were you called a "horrible name"? Seriously... I skimmed the last page or so. Did I miss it?

Notice most everyone on that thread is saying THE EXACT SAME THING that we are - and the ones that are telling you to "ask them to shave their head totally bald for the wedding" are WRONG WRONG WRONG. You CAN NOT dictate someone shaving their head for your wedding. Sheesh.

Also - being pissy because someone didn't ask you before allowing their children to shave their heads FOR A CHARITABLE CAUSE is anything but "mature"... so let's not talk about the maturity of others in dealing with your immature "situation".

<strong>ETA</strong> Oh, good GRIEF! People are legitimately telling you to make the girls wear wigs for your wedding and you think THEIR advice is appropriate!? Good luck with that. Guess I should have read all the way down that thread before replying here.

<strong>ETA Again..</strong> you say YOU were called "horrible names" but refer to the (helpful) ladies here as <font color="#000000"><em>"self righteous ass holes"</em>. You've GOT to be kidding me. FFS.</font>

Ghoti

Ok, and I read your special forum, they said the same thing we all did. I'm pretty sure the guy with the wigs was being sarcastic...

Anysunrise

You're totally right, OP. Don't listen to these mean women who obviously just make up arbitrary rules to ruin your special day! Here's how you solve this problem: Hire some child actresses to play the part of your flower girls. You know, like Dakota Fanning before she got all old and NOT adorable. That way, those kids get to shave their heads, and your pictures won't have kids with short hair! Cause you know, it's totally unheard of for a 3 year old to not already have hair down to her waist, and that 6 year old DEFINITELY doesn't have an excuse. You make sure to tell their mother what a horrible parent she is.

akakoli81

lol.  i cant sleep so I came to lurk once again..love lazy sundays..anyways..

umm we all gave you the same advice that the guys gave you.

AND your FI worded it much different from your post.  So get off your high horse and get over what strangers "insulted" you about.  Everyone was honest.  The way you worded it came off selfish..

And for the boys on that board..i am not lying.  Why would I lie on a message board where I do not know these woman.   I dont lie in general.  And I do not care what my family and friends look like....sorry I love them regardless of hair, weight, looks.  And I support many charities..so why the he** would I be lying about shaved heads.  One of my bm's have chopped and shaved her head for locks of love (I think thats what its called) and guess what if she did it the day of my wedding I would be proud of her again.  Sorry I am not self-involved...but thank you for striking a nerve

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:460afdd5-124d-4052-82fe-6ae647a24a34">Re: Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]Since you all have nothing better to do but comment on wedding posts like this, as indicated by some of your total posts tally (+17500) really?, Read this. <a href="http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html</a>  Here's a mature forum that can respond appropriately and not personally attack a situation and call people horrible names. A car forum full of men was much more helpful than a wedding forum. This whole thing was obviosly a waste of my time. Perhpas you should get to know someone before you judge them on a few sentances they wrote.
Posted by KateyHumbert[/QUOTE]

Yet another sign of your ever growing maturity...posting this on a CAR FORUM!  (and DD'ing...klassy)  Wow...yeah, you guys deserve each other. (and yeah, most of them told you the same thing that we did, so I don't know where you are coming off that you got 'better' responses)

Oh...and if any of the other car forum members read this, I can guarantee you that I would not feel the same way.  My wedding is about celebrating the fact that I'm marrying the love of my life and best friend....it isn't about wanting perfect pictures sans hairless flower girls.  Oh...and please read ALL the posts by Katey, you know...the one where they said they probably wouldn't have chosen these girls to be in the wedding to begin with if they had short hair.  They chose these little girls as props and are now upset because their props aren't fitting in with their "vision" anymore.  Then tell me if you still think we are being harsh....

SilverLining1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:460afdd5-124d-4052-82fe-6ae647a24a34">Re: Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]Since you all have nothing better to do but comment on wedding posts like this, as indicated by some of your total posts tally (+17500) really?, Read this. <a href="http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html</a>  Here's a mature forum that can respond appropriately and not personally attack a situation and call people horrible names. A car forum full of men was much more helpful than a wedding forum. This whole thing was obviosly a waste of my time. Perhpas you should get to know someone before you judge them on a few sentances they wrote.
Posted by KateyHumbert[/QUOTE]

<div>The things that I would like to say to you would definitely get me banned. If you wanted advice on how to style the hair, you would have asked how to style the FG's short hair. And frankly, I'm certain that you could have figured out how to do that yourself. You wouldn't have gone into the story practically begging us to validate your feelings. </div><div>
</div><div>To you, things are much more important than people. I don't think that there is anything we can help you with unless you want to change perspective.</div>

SilverLining1

And BTW, it's not 'YOUR DAY' anymore. You've chosen to involve other people in your wedding, and so the feelings and treatment of those people have to be considered. Sorry, but you're getting married, not being crowned supreme ruler of the universe.

AdeleDazeem

Honestly, OP - take a deep breath.

Would I be surprised if our flower girls shaved their heads a few weeks before our wedding?  Of course.  I think most people would be surprised.

But that is where all of our reactions end.  It's not our place to say or do anything and it is certainly not your place to ask if the mother should have consulted you.  It was this area of your post that was so inflammatory.

Also - I just got married 11 days ago.  I carefully picked out ceremony music, flowers, etc...  Once that ceremony started, I have no idea what happened.  I was just smiling, saying my vows and looking at my husband.  An elephant could have been standing behind me and I wouldn't have known.

What seems like such a big deal now is truly TRULY not a big deal.  Little girls with two inches of hair is not a big deal.  That's we're all trying to tell you. 

Also - it would be helpful if you read your posts objectively and maybe admit that you sounded a bit selfish in them.  Admitting mistakes is hard, but it's helpful.  It's okay to be wrong - we all are at some point.

futurepivko

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:9b6211fa-54bd-4b54-825b-d0136712d3f5">Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry for the misinterpretation. 
Posted by KateyHumbert[/QUOTE]

no, no i dont think there WERE any

NcsuPsych

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:460afdd5-124d-4052-82fe-6ae647a24a34">Re: Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]Since you all have nothing better to do but comment on wedding posts like this, as indicated by some of your total posts tally (+17500) really?, Read this. <a href="http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.fiero.nl/forum/Forum6/HTML/085113.html</a>  Here's a mature forum that can respond appropriately and not personally attack a situation and call people horrible names. A car forum full of men was much more helpful than a wedding forum. This whole thing was obviosly a waste of my time. Perhpas you should get to know someone before you judge them on a few sentances they wrote.
Posted by KateyHumbert[/QUOTE]



You know. . . running to some car forum and whining and crying about how you didnt get the responses you were looking for honestly makes you look like a freaking five year old.

GROW UP.  Those little girls are more mature than you and your fiance are.  If you dont like the responses. . .leave.

Every message board has a different atmosphere. This is why you should LURK a lot before posting dumb questions like you did. (Also, we ALL know it wasn't just about your surprise. You were mad that they didnt consult YOU about THEIR decision on what to do with THEIR hair).

Lastly, deleting all of your responses and the OP is so stupid seeing as you've already been qouted.

This wedding forum can be extremely useful and helpful but you must learn to take responses in stride and GROW UP. If you do decide to come back, I highly suggest you use a new username. 1. Because everyone can find your information simply by searching your username is they decide to do so. . its a safety factor. 2. Because this whole situation has made you look like a whiney bridezilla.



regardless, I'll finish with 'Good luck on your wedding' and I pray that these little girls never sense your disgust towards their amazing courage (kids are excellent at picking up stuff like that).

You want to be treated like an adult and get adult answers, try acting like one.

Arayx2

I know this thread is a little old but I had to comment.

Last summer, I participated in a Race for the Cure fundraiser and met an 8 year old girl who had no hair - battling with cancer. 8 years old!!!!! Can you imagine? The lady in charge of putting this fundraiser together had lost her 3 year old just 2 weeks before the event. If this is the biggest issue YOU have to face - How lucky are you?! GET OVER YOURSELF!!! And how dare you turn a beautiful gift your flower girls did into a selfish ugly issue about a wedding.

What is wrong with you?

EmilyW416

Its not that big of deal. If you want people to know WHY the girls hair is so short. Put it in your program. Plain and simple.

MandK9

I hope to God that these little girls don't catch wind of you two being disappointed in them and worrying about how they look. It probably hasn't even occurred to them that some insanely shallow people might think they look bad, and once they know that their older cousin thinks they look horrible and not suitable for photos, it'll probably crush them.

mkrupar

I hate to drag this up again, but your stupid car forum thread doesn't help your cause. I love how someone actually said we were lying through our teeth that we wouldn't be upset that this happened to us. Unlike a bunch of car guys, most of us really wouldn't care. Especially because, like OP said there would be 1-2 inches of hair for the wedding.

What don't you understand? NO ONE! I repeat NO ONE, including the BMs, GM, Flower Girls, Mom's Sisters, Aunts, Cousins have to tell you anything they're changing about their appearance before they do it. And to say (in that car guy thread) That you would have liked to try and pursuade them to wait until after the wedding SCREAMS volumes about the fact that these two little girls are just props to you.

"we're ok with them supporting cancer, but not if it ruins our "vision" of our big day" Being the bride & groom do not give you carte blanche to be selfish assholes dictating to your WP how they will look for your day. So take your stupid car forum and shove it. I'm still appaled by the two of you and the people over there that agreed with you are just as bad.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bald-flower-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:36c9e4bd-e88c-4c68-9107-b6a39a7d4d8bPost:5c35d465-e1ce-490e-9ae1-22bc0ef1d0ec">Re: Flower Girls</a>:
[QUOTE]"we're ok with them supporting cancer, but not if it ruins our "vision" of our big day" Being the bride & groom do not give you carte blanche to be selfish assholes dictating to your WP how they will look for your day. So take your stupid car forum and shove it. I'm still appaled by the two of you and the people over there that agreed with you are just as bad.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

*applauds*

carasad

I'm late to the thread, but wow...I spent the end of March/beginning of April in the hospital and then hospice with my grandfather, who battled Stage 4 Lung Cancer for about a year. We lost him on April 4th. He was courageous and strong and very optimistic right up until the end...and I would give anything to have him with us for our wedding...bravo to the brave little girls that support cancer awareness. I can't even begin to tell you how proud it would make me if something like that happened before my wedding.