No Screaming Children Tolerated.

MissDuke2012

http://eater.com/archives/2010/09/07/restaurant-will-not-tolerate-your-screaming-children.php

I think this is one of the smartest things I've ever seen. As a parent, I know how annoying it is to have a child scream through dinner, even if she's mine. I certainly don't want to go for dinner and have to hear someone else's kid scream.

Edit: I understand kids have bad days, BUT the parents shouldn't act like its ok. Because its not, not all. Its disrespectful to everyone around them.

malleys

Honestly I'm not someone who would agree to something like this, but this is accetable. my son throws fits, ( he is very bad tempered..gets it from me i was the same way) anyways before we go out i give him clear rules ( he is 3 btw) that he listens, he dosent touched and if needs to have a fit, we will be going back to the truck. he is ormally good in resterants though their was one time he completly freaked out, like beyond freaking out, my fiance took picked him up took him out side and told him if he cant calm down he can sit in the trcuk while mommy and daddy ate ( of course he wasnt really going to leave him, but as cruel as it sounds he hates being alone and thats one threat that seems to work well)  anyways he took a couple deep breaths in ( we encourage him to, everytime he is done a fit he is still crying so i tell him deep breath in now breath out he helps him relax)  then calmed down, my fiace brought him back in and he sat nice and calm ate all his dinner and eve said thank you to the waitress. .  I think kids have fits, they act out ( we were all kids once we all did it) now its up to us parents to show them a fit wont get their way and that its not "nice"  I dont allow my so to have his fits in resturants because if i was out on a date or just with my hunny i wouldnt want to listen to that...i mean i could go home and do it for free.  I liked the duct tape part lol i always joke and say i need duct tape LOL anyways the point to my rant is I agree, Its a good idea, they are not being rude in any way, they will not kick you out but ask you to calm your child down..and that makes sense....my son has learned when we are out in public he is a good little boy, at home he can be crazy and hyper and do whatever he wants lol..I always get complaiments on how wonderful he is lol..and i think ya come to my house  and see how good he really is LOL

megk8oz

I'm all for something like this. I wasn't allowed to misbehave in public growing up, and it annoys the crap out of me when I hear screaming kids and see parents doing absolutely nothing about it. I think if a kid is screaming, their parents should be able to figure out "Take them out until they're calm" on their own, but clearly, there are parents that can't figure that out and need a sign to tell them.

And now that smoking has been banned in all restaurants in my state, I'm also all in favor of all the smoking/no smoking sections being converted into "children/no children" sections, lol. Kidding! (Kind of)

redheadfsu

Love it.

I hate it when I go to a nice dinner and a parents allow their kid to scream, climb around on the floor, and throw things. It happens all the time. How is the parent not mortified? Kids act up, but parents need deal with them or take them home. 

This past weekend at a nice restaurant (white tablecloth place) a couple had three kids crawling, screaming, and throwing things for hours. They were there when we got there and we left before them. The waitress had to keep coming over and cleaning up the kids' mess b/c the parents were not paying attention.

Meg1979

I completely agree with this.  I know kids can't help it, but parents sure can.  We really didn't eat out very much when we were kids.  I do remember my parents taking us outside to cry it out and then come back if we were calmed down.  I just chalk it up to people being rude.  They want their experience and they don't want their kids to interfere.  Maybe that's harsh, but it seems to be the case.

impslave

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_screaming-children-tolerated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:56c0a829-8bea-40ba-aa93-f92b4c6d1d12Post:9dc3ff38-cd8c-484d-807a-c2edd8fa70d7">Re: No Screaming Children Tolerated.</a>:
[QUOTE]And now that smoking has been banned in all restaurants in my state, I'm also all in favor of all the smoking/no smoking sections being converted into "children/no children" sections, lol. Kidding! (Kind of)
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I've always advocated that!

</div>

jenn.daniel

Dang it!  the knot ate my post!

I hate it when parents let their kids make a fuss in public.  My brother and I were NOT allowed to get away with making a scene.  When we're out, FI and I request a table away from children.  If I'm shopping, I'll leave if there are noisy kids.  If stores let that happen, I'll buy my shoes, make-up, etc somewhere else.

IF FI and I ever have our own restaurant, children will not be allowed in the dining room.  Child-care would be provided on-site, for a fee, of course.  FI has all sorts of ideas, and this is definitely his best one.

aerinpegadrak

I would eat there in a heartbeat.  I don't even really care if the food is any good, it would be worth it to have a meal in peace.  I knew as a child that if I ever threw a tantrum or pulled a stunt like that in public, we would be going home IMMEDIATELY, so I never did.  I think one of the biggest problems with our society is the fact that parents don't know how to discipline their children.

megk8oz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_screaming-children-tolerated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:56c0a829-8bea-40ba-aa93-f92b4c6d1d12Post:8f3d00ca-0156-4d22-886a-1a6010accfde">Re: No Screaming Children Tolerated.</a>:
[QUOTE]So funny that this came up.  I was involved in an interesting thread on snarky brides I think about a week ago and I was pretty much the villain because I shared some of these feelings about screaming kids at weddings.  Other posts went so far as to say (paraphrasing) there is nothing you can do about it so suck it up regarding a kid screaming through the wedding.  In this thread the kid was an infant.  <strong>Kust curious, would the age make a difference to you in regard to your feelings about crying/screaming kids?</strong>
Posted by mica001[/QUOTE]

I'm more tolerable of a baby crying, in terms of not "blaming parents for the behavior" because that's pretty much the only way babies can communicate that they need something. So an infant crying because they're hungry or need a new diaper is way different than a 4 year old throwing a tantrum for whatever reason.

But at the same time, I will side-eye a parent that fails to remove <strong>any</strong> screaming child from a public place, regardless of age, after it's clear the child isn't going to calm down any time soon. It's common-f*cking-courtesy.

aerinpegadrak

Kids cry.  That's what they do.  It's the parent's responsibility to take them somewhere that they can do it without pissing other people off.  If a kid of any age were shrieking his head off all the way through a wedding ceremony, my hate-on wouldn't necessarily be for the kid, it would be for the parent that's subjecting everyone to it.  Even the posted article said that the restaurant's policy is that children must be taken outside until they calm down, not that they aren't welcome at all or will be permanently banned if they scream once.

MairePoppy

When my children were little, I would head for the nearest exit with them as soon as they started acting up. One child was particularly difficult and it was very inconvenient to not be able to finish a meal, shopping or whatever. But we removed him from the scene anyway. It's not fair to everyone else to have to listen to a child screaming. And it certainly wasn't comfortable for us.

If parents were doing their jobs, there wouldn't be a need to post such a sign. I applaud the restaurant owner.

marriedfilingjointly

I love this!  DH and I don't usually have this problem because we don't usually eat at "family" style chains, but one time we were at the Melting Pot for an 8PM dinner reservation and there was a child screaming the whole time.  Who takes their small child to The Melting Pot at 8PM?  I wanted to talk to the waiter about it, but I didn't want to put anyone in the awkward position of talking to them, especially if someone's tip is at risk.  Ugh.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_screaming-children-tolerated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:56c0a829-8bea-40ba-aa93-f92b4c6d1d12Post:8f3d00ca-0156-4d22-886a-1a6010accfde">Re: No Screaming Children Tolerated.</a>:
[QUOTE]So funny that this came up.  I was involved in an interesting thread on snarky brides I think about a week ago and I was pretty much the villain because I shared some of these feelings about screaming kids at weddings.  Other posts went so far as to say (paraphrasing) there is nothing you can do about it so suck it up regarding a kid screaming through the wedding.  In this thread the kid was an infant.  Kust curious, would the age make a difference to you in regard to your feelings about crying/screaming kids?
Posted by mica001[/QUOTE]

Mica, here's the thing.  As a patron in a restaurant, it would be rude of you to go up to the parent of a screaming child and ask them to leave.  If that's the restaurant's policy and the manager wants to say something, that's his prerogative.  But as the bride, if someone's child starts crying and you say something to them, you come across as a major Bridezilla biotch to every single one of your guests, and that's how they will remember your wedding.  Yes, it's rude for someone to not take their screaming child outside, but two wrongs don't make a right.  That's why everyone told you there's nothing you can do without looking like a rude biotch. 

Most people know to take their child outside if he/she cries.  It happened at my wedding and I didn't even know about it.  People who are tactless and oblivious to their little angels are the exception, not the rule, so it's in your best interest to operate under the assumption that your guests are not rude a-holes. 

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_screaming-children-tolerated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:56c0a829-8bea-40ba-aa93-f92b4c6d1d12Post:8f3d00ca-0156-4d22-886a-1a6010accfde">Re: No Screaming Children Tolerated.</a>:
[QUOTE]So funny that this came up.  I was involved in an interesting thread on snarky brides I think about a week ago and I was pretty much the villain because I shared some of these feelings about screaming kids at weddings.  Other posts went so far as to say (paraphrasing) there is nothing you can do about it so suck it up regarding a kid screaming through the wedding.  In this thread the kid was an infant.  Kust curious, would the age make a difference to you in regard to your feelings about crying/screaming kids?
Posted by mica001[/QUOTE]

A wedding and a restaurant are different.The restaurant can decline business by telling parents to leave. Your wedding is not a business. You have to be a gracious host. Hopefully the parents of the kid will still take him outside, but as a bride/host you can't do anything without being rude.

MissDuke2012

Parenting these days is nothing like it was when I grew up. We got spankings when we cut up in public. And needless to say, we stopped acting up. Camden's only 16 months old and we already spank her. She understands what "no" means. Don't get me wrong she gets fussy, like any baby does, but we don't let her sit there and annoy other people.

Yesterday when I went to pick her up from daycare she threw herself on the ground kicking and screaming, I picked her up took her inside and spanked her. There is no since in her acting like that. A parent told me I was "too hard" on her. No, not really, I just don't want her acting like your kid.

Roxygrl2002

Haha. This post reminds me of that SATC episode where Samantha is in a restaurant and on her cell phone... there's a child acting all out of control, playing with his food, it's all over the floor, and he's being loud and they ask her to get off her phone. She says, I can't be on my phone in a normal voice, but you allow that (pointing to the child). And so they did, b/c it's socially not accepted to say anything to parents about their children... and she got up and told the mother what she thought. Of course she was promptly covered in food by the little boy, but it was still hilarious. There is a time and a place for children to be certain places and if they can act appropriately then I'm all for it, otherwise, stay home with your kids... OR controversially, gasp*, save the money for the meal on the kid and get a babysitter for a couple hours! Shocking concept I know, but it seems like people think it's acceptable for their children to act out of control. It's not.

flyjawn

i have ended friendships with people because they're kids are unmanagable, out of control and the parents show no signs of even recognizing the poor behaviour.

my children (3 and 5) are not perfect but i would never allow them to misbehave especially not in public and when potentially  disturbing others.

i had a friend who had 3 kids who would destroy my house when they were over, scream and yell and behave like lunatics.  i stpoped hanging out with her.... she now has 5 kids and i can't even imagine what they're like.  

Chasity08

Ya know, I thought having a child myself would make me more understanding to parents whose kids were awful in restaurants (I worked in a restaurant for about 3 years as my first job).....absolutely not. In fact, it made me more angry, because my daughter would NEVER act like that in public. I understand the whole "kids cry" and "kids act up" thing...but there's no reason why they should be doing that in public. My daughter has her moments, believe me, but they ALWAYS happen at home (or someone private), because she knows better then to act up in public. It's called discipline and guidelines. Some parents should seriously look in to it.

Some of these responses seriously put a smile on my face and made me laugh. It's nice to know other people are just as annoyed with this behavior as I am =]

nicolepmarinelli

I work in a deli and by far the worse I've seen has  been an infant, so tiny she looked like she could harldy have been more than one or two months old, just crying her poor little head off. The mom didn't just ignore her, she was chanting "keep crying, keep crying, keep crying, not gonna get your way," to the baby. An infant! I could not believe it! It took all my will power not to say something to the woman.

goetzr19

AMAZING!!  I give credit to this place for having the guts to do this!

mcornelissen

Awesome idea. All that screaming can cause indigestion.

AbbeyS2011

I go to a restaurant to have a nice meal out, to pay someone to cater to me and my party, to not have to cook. 

I DO NOT go to listen/watch someone's child tear up the napkins/table, scream, yell,throw a fit because they were told they cannot have ice cream!  My kids have been taught manners - I expect the same of other kids.  I have taken my kids into the bathroom and spanked them when necessary. 

I can and will say something to parents/kids - usually I will say to the kids, "I know your parents have taught you better than that" a bit loudly.  I was in a Wendy's recently, and some older kids were running around and acting up - the youngest was 7, I think, - and the parents just kept giving them dirty looks - did not help at all. I said something to the oldest boy within earshot of Mom and Dad on my way out the door - the parents glared at me -oh well! 

I applaud that restaurant and wish others would follow suit!  They will get my business in a heartbeat.

PS:  Crying babies (under 1 yr. old) is a entirely different ballgame. 

quirky75

I agree with what everyone is saying. I also cannot stand when there are screaming children having fits in public and the parents do not do anything about it and spoil them instead. I was definitely not raised that way and will not raise my children that way.

But there is more to this story the national news didn't cover: http://www.wect.com/Global/story.asp?S=13121508&sms_ss=facebook
A woman asked the owner about a special circumstance of a screaming child, her son with autism. The owner responded saying she could not believe the woman actually took her son out in public. This is where I disagree with the situation. Children with disabilities are still children and shouldn't be locked away inside all day like the owner apparently thinks.

KevinMegan1008

I love this also! My son is11 months. I don't take him out too much but I've had 1 time where we tried to take him out for lunch that he cried and we packed our food and went right home. He is still young so I can't control it right now but we still left immediately.

When he is older he will have manners and he will have rules when we are home & in public. My nephew has no rules or manners (he is 7). It's really stressful to even just try to go to dinner with him. He's loud, running around and it's embarrassing. My sister literally laughs at this behavior. I'll never claim my kid will be perfect but if he acts up in public he will have consequences for it.

amynwade

I have no children, but I love kids.  But I have to admit, when Wade and I are trying to have a nice dinner, there is nothing more annoying than a screaming kid.  One word comes to mind.. Babysitter.  How is the screaming child relaxing to the parents?  I would go to that restaurant.

MamaSally

I want to address two issues, first children crying in restaurants.  The child should be taken out immediately, food packed up and an explanation to the child (if old enough to understand) that bad behavior will not be tolerated..  A few nights out to eat without the child may make them decide that behaving while out to eat is more fun than staying home. This will only work with a child old enough to understand cause and effect.  Bad behavior =  home with a sitter.  I do think that some parents take children to restaurants at too young an age.  Either the whole family stays home, or you get a sitter.

Not to take the post in another direction, but, spanking a 16 month old accomplishes nothing.  They may understand "no", but connecting that no to a behavior doesn't come until the age of reason.  At 16 months does "no" mean don't cry when you are tired?  Or hungry?  Or wanting to stay and play? Or forgot her art project?  Forgot her stuffed animal?  A mother who spanks a child that young has no more idea why the child is crying than the child knows why she is getting spanked.  Spankings hurt and why someone would want to hurt a 16 month old is beyond me.

And good luck trying to explain to a child who hits others at daycare that as a parent you are the only one who can hit and hurt others. 

banana468

MissDuke, FWIW in just about all her posts, I've only seen MamaSally come on here and scold others prior to offering her opinion.

MamaSally

Ouch, banana that hurt!  Don't really see what I do as any different from some of the other posters here.  Only difference is I am new.  Your going to be really busy hitting all the topics warning people about how mean I am.

Miss Duke, hit your baby all you want.  A tantrum is completely different from biting.  I suggest you talk to your Pediatrician about tantrums and spanking.  I must say I have never heard a 16 month old baby's behavior referred to as "stunts". Wait till she hits the terrible two's. 

MissDuke2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_screaming-children-tolerated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:56c0a829-8bea-40ba-aa93-f92b4c6d1d12Post:f4af129a-6bf8-4bd0-a4f3-9c0ab570d107">Re: No Screaming Children Tolerated.</a>:
[QUOTE]Ouch, banana that hurt!  Don't really see what I do as any different from some of the other posters here.  Only difference is I am new.  Your going to be really busy hitting all the topics warning people about how mean I am. Miss Duke, hit your baby all you want.  A tantrum is completely different from biting.  I suggest you talk to your Pediatrician about tantrums and spanking.  I must say I have never heard a 16 month old baby's behavior referred to as "stunts". Wait till she hits the terrible two's. 
Posted by MamaSally[/QUOTE]

I like how you consider spanking hitting. So if you spank a four year old your hitting him or her right? Because you consider it the same thing and all. And no a tantrum is not any different than biting. Its unacceptable behavior. We pop her hand or leg and tell her no. Our pediatrician has seen us pop her hand before. And he said there is nothing wrong with teaching her early.

A stunt, when it comes to MY 16 month old, would be her throwing herself on the ground and FAKE crying because mommy or daddy didn't pick her up right when she wanted us to. Another good example, today at daycare she threw herself down on the ground because she didn't get a big girl cup of water instead of a cuppie with water in it. The owner said she didn't have a single tear. As soon as she got her big girl cup she stopped. When she's really hurt or wants something, she has tears. She lets us know when she's hungry. Believe it or not I know my daughter better than you think.

I would greatly appreciate if you would stop judging my parenting, you know nothing about my daughter or how she acts.

MamaSally

MissDuke-You are correct.I don't know you or your child.  But just humor me and look on the internet regarding punishment for small children.  American Association of Pediatrics is one site.  I won't be on after tonight, but at least you can get "validation" if you are correct about spanking.  Or are you afraid to look it up?

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_screaming-children-tolerated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:56c0a829-8bea-40ba-aa93-f92b4c6d1d12Post:770475a3-8971-4c7f-81c2-592c4e7f1aca">Re: No Screaming Children Tolerated.</a>:
[QUOTE]MissDuke-You are correct.I don't know you or your child.  But just humor me and look on the internet regarding punishment for small children.  American Association of Pediatrics is one site.  I won't be on after tonight, but at least you can get "validation" if you are correct about spanking.  Or are you afraid to look it up?
Posted by MamaSally[/QUOTE]

Yes Miss Duke. Google medical facts. I'm sure it's absolutely indisputable.

MissDuke2012

MamaSally, I know the difference in spanking and beating my daughter. I have never left a bruise on her body nor will I ever.

You rasie your kids how you see fit, and I'll raise mine.