Ex-wife and her children

carmanna

My fiance' is going to invite his ex-step children from his first marriage. I have met them and I just don't want them there. Every time I have seen them they are either drunk or high.

The next issue is his ex-wife.  His daughter is going to be in the wedding so I have to go and find her a dress. He thinks his ex is going to pick it out, of couse that was a NO.  I'm just frustrated and we have gotten into one argument ever this already.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:24e187a5-b151-4cd2-ae58-d0d715aac9c2">Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance' is going to invite his ex-step children from his first marriage. I have met them and I just don't want them there. Every time I have seen them they are either drunk or high. The next issue is his ex-wife.  His daughter is going to be in the wedding so I have to go and find her a dress. He thinks his ex is going to pick it out, of couse that was a NO.  I'm just frustrated and we have gotten into one argument ever this already.
Posted by carmanna[/QUOTE]
Even if they're no longer married, he clearly still considers them part of his family and part of his life.  You're going to have to accept that they're a package deal, because they're not going to go away just because you don't like them.  And given that it's her daughter and she's more than likely paying for it, I don't think it's unreasonable that the ex-wife should have a pretty significant say in the dress.

tldh

These are problems that go far beyond your wedding.  You are trying to exclude people whom your husband still considers to be his family.  I'm not saying you have to be happy about it, but you do have to be accommodating.  I'm going to be Dear Abby for a second and recommend counseling.  If you cannot afford a family counselor, then please speak to a member of the clergy.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:24e187a5-b151-4cd2-ae58-d0d715aac9c2">Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance' is going to invite his ex-step children from his first marriage. I have met them and I just don't want them there. Every time I have seen them they are either drunk or high. The next issue is his ex-wife.  His daughter is going to be in the wedding so I have to go and find her a dress. He thinks his ex is going to pick it out, of couse that was a NO.  I'm just frustrated and we have gotten into one argument ever this already.
Posted by carmanna[/QUOTE]

You know what you're signing up for by marrying a man will all this extra baggage; that means <u>no complaining</u> after the wedding about the ex-wife or ex-stepkids. Got it?

JulietMichael

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:96db0ffd-aff2-4673-9b5b-28e152e27315">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]These are problems that go far beyond your wedding.  You are trying to exclude people whom your husband still considers to be his family.  I'm not saying you have to be happy about it, but you do have to be accommodating.  I'm going to be Dear Abby for a second and recommend counseling.  If you cannot afford a family counselor, then please speak to a member of the clergy.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

I agree wholeheartedly - if you're having problems with this at the wedding you can't even imagine how a lifetime of these will play out.  It's time to get them ironed out and workable BEFORE you commit!

MairePoppy

Those are his children (even if they are not all biologically his) that you are talking about. You need to respect that or you're headed for big trouble. Get some pre-marital counseling before you make any solid wedding plans. You need to work out what role these children are going to play in your marriage and what role you are going to play in their lives.

Srbageldog

I do feel sympathy for you, being in a relationship where my FI has children from previous relationships. It is hard dealing with it sometimes, but you have to be big about it and accept it. It's a bit easier for me I imagine because neither FI's ex's want him to be a part of his children's lives (ugly breakup situations, unfortunately the children suffer in retaliation by being kept from their father.) I know it breaks my FI's heart not being able to be a part of his children's lives, and he would love for both daughters to be at our wedding. Though since they are both still fairly young (his oldest will be 10 and the youngest 5 by our wedding date) that would mean they'd have to be accompanied by their mothers, which just is not going to happen.
However, I think I'm getting off track. It sounds like your FI is still on friendly terms with his ex, or at least they are still civil to one another. I understand that might make it hard for you, but, as other people have pointed out, your FI is a packaged deal. I knew what I was getting into when I started my relationship with my FI.
Also, as you are now going to be your FI's daughter's step-mother, how you handle situations like these regarding her real mother are going to play a big role. Don't ever talk badly about your step-daughter's mother in front of her. You can have your own feelings in private, but keep them private. Otherwise you are putting your FI's daughter in a very awkward situation. If her mother wants to help pick out her dress, by all means, let her. Can the three of you make an outing of it? How about trying to decide on something together? If you are not comfortable doing that, then maybe just give the mother certain details that you are looking for, such as style, color, etc. Also, how old is your step-daughter? If she's old enough, why not let her pick out her own dress?
I realize it's hard dealing with ex's, especially when children are involved, but the bigger you are about it, the better it will be for your new step-daughter. It's better to have a civil relationship with her mother, than for you to both hate each other and put this poor girl in the middle. I'm sure she's going through some major adjustments right now (divorce and remarriage tend to have major effects on children in a family.) Try to make the transition to this new stage of her life as easy as possible.

loop0406

I once dated a man that told me if I loved him, I'd have to love his children.....

the children, regardless if they drink or do drugs, are going to be a part of your life...probably forever so accept them now before it gets drama-tic...

As for the dress issue, if she doesn't have to match someone else (is she bridesmaid, flower girl...?) then I would let her or her mom choose the dress as long as they find something in the color, length you want. If she does have to match exactly with others, you can have fiance tell his ex-wife and daughter that you've already chosen her dress and she just needs to get fitted...

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:4292b963-5a86-4199-a1c8-160c0ec447c7">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]I do feel sympathy for you, being in a relationship where my FI has children from previous relationships. It is hard dealing with it sometimes, but you have to be big about it and accept it. It's a bit easier for me I imagine because <strong>neither FI's ex's want him to be a part of his children's lives</strong> (ugly breakup situations, unfortunately the children suffer in retaliation by being kept from their father.) I know it breaks my FI's heart not being able to be a part of his children's lives, and he would love for both daughters to be at our wedding. Though since they are both still fairly young (his oldest will be 10 and the youngest 5 by our wedding date) that would mean they'd have to be accompanied by their mothers, which just is not going to happen. :/ However, I think I'm getting off track. It sounds like your FI is still on friendly terms with his ex, or at least they are still civil to one another. I understand that might make it hard for you, but, as other people have pointed out, your FI is a packaged deal. I knew what I was getting into when I started my relationship with my FI. Also, as you are now going to be your FI's daughter's step-mother, how you handle situations like these regarding her real mother are going to play a big role. Don't ever talk badly about your step-daughter's mother in front of her. You can have your own feelings in private, but keep them private. Otherwise you are putting your FI's daughter in a very awkward situation. If her mother wants to help pick out her dress, by all means, let her. Can the three of you make an outing of it? How about trying to decide on something together? If you are not comfortable doing that, then maybe just give the mother certain details that you are looking for, such as style, color, etc. Also, how old is your step-daughter? If she's old enough, why not let her pick out her own dress? I realize it's hard dealing with ex's, especially when children are involved, but the bigger you are about it, the better it will be for your new step-daughter. It's better to have a civil relationship with her mother, than for you to both hate each other and put this poor girl in the middle. I'm sure she's going through some major adjustments right now (divorce and remarriage tend to have major effects on children in a family.) Try to make the transition to this new stage of her life as easy as possible.
Posted by Srbageldog[/QUOTE]

The more you post about your BF the more awesome he sounds.

Srbageldog

My FI is an awesome guy. His ex's don't want to be bothered by including him in the children's lives. There's no reason for it other than it's an inconvenience to them. One lives across the country and the other lives 5 1/2 hours away.
And FYI, your little comment was entirely off topic.

nickchick

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:25544a50-1a22-4048-af78-628f56c720ee">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI is an awesome guy. His ex's don't want to be bothered by including him in the children's lives. There's no reason for it other than it's an inconvenience to them. One lives across the country and the other lives 5 1/2 hours away. And FYI, your little comment was entirely off topic.
Posted by Srbageldog[/QUOTE]

I hope i don't come across mean, but i'm just wondering why is it up to the EXs? If he's their father and really wants to be part of their lives, why do they get to stand in his way?

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:25544a50-1a22-4048-af78-628f56c720ee">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI is an awesome guy. His ex's don't want to be bothered by including him in the children's lives. There's no reason for it other than it's an inconvenience to them. One lives across the country and the other lives 5 1/2 hours away. And <strong>FYI, your little comment was entirely off topic.
</strong>Posted by Srbageldog[/QUOTE]

So? And boo-hoo, 5-1/2 hours. If he really wanted to be a part of their lives, he would be. He'd hire an attorney and work two jobs to afford it if he had to and he'd be fighting the birth moms tooth and nail to protect his rights as a father.

Srbageldog

My FI does work two jobs just to help make ends meet.  He can't afford an attorney right now, we've talked about it. I'll admit that he probably doesn't know much about his rights as the father. I don't want to go into a bunch of detail, I do know that both ex's screwed him over. I know he also worries about disrupting his daughters lives.

5 1/2 hours is a long way when you don't have a car that will make it that far and an ex who cut off all communication when they broke up.

What I posted has been completely taken out of context. I was offering this woman advice from my own experience. I know many people who use children as a means to hurt their ex partner (including withholding visitation), or making them feel guilty for loving the other parent and possibly other parents new spouse. Often children come into their parent's second marriage resenting the step-parent, and it is how the step-parent handles the situation that makes a difference. I saw red flags in the way OP was talking about her FI's family, and the way she talked about his ex and not wanting to include her in picking out the daughter's dress for the wedding. And while I can understand feeling that way, I know that when children are involved you need to act like adults and be civil to each other. It is the children who suffer the most in situations like this.

I discussed the situation regarding my FI's with one of my child development professors before, and she wasn't at all surprised to hear of his situation, as it happens often, and the children suffer. My FI's children are growing up not knowing their father, and are going to have feelings of being unwanted, and think that their father doesn't love them. He loves his children very much, but unfortunately at this time doesn't have the financial means and the proper knowledge to legally fight for his rights as a father.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:41ce60ff-4ea9-453d-ab76-a8bb6353cd18">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI does work two jobs just to help make ends meet.  He can't afford an attorney right now, we've talked about it. I'll admit that he probably doesn't know much about his rights as the father. I don't want to go into a bunch of detail, I do know that both ex's screwed him over. I know he also worries about disrupting his daughters lives. 5 1/2 hours is a long way when you don't have a car that will make it that far and an ex who cut off all communication when they broke up. What I posted has been completely taken out of context. I was offering this woman advice from my own experience. I know many people who use children as a means to hurt their ex partner (including withholding visitation), or making them feel guilty for loving the other parent and possibly other parents new spouse. Often children come into their parent's second marriage resenting the step-parent, and it is how the step-parent handles the situation that makes a difference. I saw red flags in the way OP was talking about her FI's family, and the way she talked about his ex and not wanting to include her in picking out the daughter's dress for the wedding. And while I can understand feeling that way, I know that when children are involved you need to act like adults and be civil to each other. It is the children who suffer the most in situations like this. I discussed the situation regarding my FI's with one of my child development professors before, and she wasn't at all surprised to hear of his situation, as it happens often, and the children suffer. My FI's children are growing up not knowing their father, and are going to have feelings of being unwanted, and think that their father doesn't love them. He loves his children very much, but unfortunately at this time doesn't have the financial means and the proper knowledge to legally fight for his rights as a father.
Posted by Srbageldog[/QUOTE]

He can educate himself by googling "Fathers Rights" and the state that has jurisdiction of the custody (usually the state that had the divorce proceeding).  That's a start and he might find a non-profit who can help him.

EDIT - also, does he pay child support, talk to them on the phone, exchange e.mails, send them birthday cards, etc.  Does he do anything to forge a relationship with his children?  Reach out to his ex's parents, siblings, the exes themselves?  Just saying the exes are vindictive raises a red flag.  One, I could see but two??  If I asked the exes why the kids don't have a relationship with your FI, what would they say?  Have you ever spoken to them because I'm starting to get on the boat of people who are not liking your FI one bit.  My suspicion is that he's not being truthful with you about all of the surrounding circumstances.

Srbageldog

You know, I will suggest that he do that.

carmanna

Thanks for the advice, but if the show up drunk or high they will be denied access by security. Considering I'm paying for the entire wedding  It's not going to be  full of pot heads and boozers

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:0811bc6e-48e4-4099-98b2-a922723c337e">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the advice, but if the show up drunk or high they will be denied access by security. Considering I'm paying for the entire wedding  It's not going to be  full of pot heads and boozers
Posted by carmanna[/QUOTE]

Are you ready for a lifetime of this? Because it sounds like your FI fully intends to continue being involved in their lives, which means you will be too. Are you prepared for that?

babygbride

Step kids suck sometimes. Especially if their's baby mama drama.

vegasgroom

I like it when people who can't even afford a car that will survive a 5 hour drive have multiple kids with multiple women.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:41ce60ff-4ea9-453d-ab76-a8bb6353cd18">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI does work two jobs just to help make ends meet.  He can't afford an attorney right now, we've talked about it. I'll admit that he probably doesn't know much about his rights as the father. I don't want to go into a bunch of detail, I do know that both ex's screwed him over. I know he also worries about disrupting his daughters lives. 5 1/2 hours is a long way when you don't have a car that will make it that far and an ex who cut off all communication when they broke up. What I posted has been completely taken out of context. I was offering this woman advice from my own experience. I know many people who use children as a means to hurt their ex partner (including withholding visitation), or making them feel guilty for loving the other parent and possibly other parents new spouse. Often children come into their parent's second marriage resenting the step-parent, and it is how the step-parent handles the situation that makes a difference. I saw red flags in the way OP was talking about her FI's family, and the way she talked about his ex and not wanting to include her in picking out the daughter's dress for the wedding. And while I can understand feeling that way, I know that when children are involved you need to act like adults and be civil to each other. It is the children who suffer the most in situations like this. I discussed the situation regarding my FI's with one of my child development professors before, and she wasn't at all surprised to hear of his situation, as it happens often, and the children suffer. My FI's children are growing up not knowing their father, and are going to have feelings of being unwanted, and think that their father doesn't love them.<strong> He loves his children very much, but unfortunately at this time doesn't have the financial means and the proper knowledge to legally fight for his rights as a father.
</strong>Posted by Srbageldog[/QUOTE]

Or the desire to change any of this.
 
You always come back with excuses for this guy. Did the two exes explain the situation to you and explain why they don't want your ex in their kids' lives, or are you taking his word for it that the big evil exes screwed him over for no good reason and he's completely innocent? I bet he gets screwed over a lot in life, huh?

Lisa8888

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:8562b777-07fc-4c81-851f-3589983d75d3">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]I like it when people who can't even afford a car that will survive a 5 hour drive have multiple kids with multiple women.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]


Good point.

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:fc2ee4e4-9a50-45b4-943e-61be3e7769d4">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ex-wife and her children : Or the desire to change any of this.   You always come back with excuses for this guy. Did the two exes explain the situation to you and explain why they don't want your ex in their kids' lives, or are you taking his word for it that the big evil exes screwed him over for no good reason and he's completely innocent? I bet he gets screwed over a lot in life, huh?
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]

I have to say that in her original posts I agreed with the FI that she needs to be a responsible adult and not quit her job, no matter how much she hates it, until she has another one.  I also saw his concerns about her becoming a full time novelist living off him.

This last post making excuses as to why he isn't an active father changed my mind.  There is absolutely no excuse for it especially with obvious access to the internet to get information.

Seriously, if this wedding goes forward, I am going to bet that in a couple of years there will be a third ex wife trying to raise a kid on her own with no help from the father.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:3ae1ffad-df19-4b40-a808-581a4417838f">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]You know, I will suggest that he do that.
Posted by Srbageldog[/QUOTE]

Suggest that he do what? Google "father's rights" or make the bare minimum effort -- the cost of a birthday card and a postage stamp -- to let his kids know that he still loves them and desperately wants to be a part of their lives? Because really, you having to 'suggest' that he do either one of these things just adds to the growing field of red flags about your BF.

gottahavashorti

OP - You cannot deny your FI's children invitations.  They're still his children who he helped raise even if they are not his children in a legal sense.  If you wish to marry him, you need to accept that.  If your FI wishes to choose and purchase the dress for his daughter, he can go dress shopping with her while he has visitation.

A couple of potheads and boozers does not make a wedding full of potheads and boozers.  Their actions are only a reflectance on themselves, and it would be far worse to exclude them.  If the issue was whether the ex-wife would get an invitation, that would be another story.


Bageldog - Long distance and bad breakups are no excuse for your FI to not make an effort to have a relationship with his children.  My grandfather lived across the world for most of my life and still made an effort to keep in touch.  DH's father lives on the opposite coast, is hated by DH's mother, and still keeps in touch with his children.  If he can't talk to them on the phone or get their address, he can send cards, letters and presents to their grandparents to give to them.

If he wants them at the wedding, he can use part of the wedding budget to pay for their travel.  Children can travel on the airlines without a parent.  He needs to talk to an airline about supervision for unaccompanied minors.  If he wants them to be at the wedding, he will make the effort to do that or to get a rental car so that he can pick them up.

Was there some issue with your FI where people were telling you to leave, or am I mixing up posters?

carmanna

I have no idea how my post got caught up with someone in FL. 

My question was about my hubby to be ex step kids ages 21 and 30.
We talked it out and they are not going to be invited, the only time he talks to them is when they call him for money to bail them out.  That's not being family that just using you. His mother was in the hospital  (10 days) and not one of them came to see her or check to see how we was doing.  If they were close then ok invite them and I would just have to deal with being messed up when they show up, but he's not close with them.  That would like me inviting my 3 1/2 brothers and 2 1/2 sisters that I have only seen a hand full of time growing up. I want people who I care about and truly cares about me and not some other motive.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:77839a34-f7ff-412a-8f04-454ae2342937">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]OP - You cannot deny your FI's children invitations.  They're still his children who he helped raise even if they are not his children in a legal sense.  If you wish to marry him, you need to accept that.  If your FI wishes to choose and purchase the dress for his daughter, he can go dress shopping with her while he has visitation. A couple of potheads and boozers does not make a wedding full of potheads and boozers.  Their actions are only a reflectance on themselves, and it would be far worse to exclude them.  If the issue was whether the ex-wife would get an invitation, that would be another story. Bageldog - Long distance and bad breakups are no excuse for your FI to not make an effort to have a relationship with his children.  My grandfather lived across the world for most of my life and still made an effort to keep in touch.  DH's father lives on the opposite coast, is hated by DH's mother, and still keeps in touch with his children.  If he can't talk to them on the phone or get their address, he can send cards, letters and presents to their grandparents to give to them. If he wants them at the wedding, he can use part of the wedding budget to pay for their travel.  Children can travel on the airlines without a parent.  He needs to talk to an airline about supervision for unaccompanied minors.  If he wants them to be at the wedding, he will make the effort to do that or to get a rental car so that he can pick them up. <strong>Was there some issue with your FI where people were telling you to leave, or am I mixing up posters?</strong>
Posted by gottahavashorti[/QUOTE]
Yeah, that's the one.  Her last major vent was that he hasn't bought her a ring because she doesn't deserve it, and he keeps creating conditions for having the wedding.  The nicest thing she's said about him is that he's not physically abusive.

longman801

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BlueBride11

I love it when the woman has a kid or kids with a man and then MOVES their kids far away .

You guys are a bunch of idiots. this is NOT wedding related. NOT your business and NOT part of the OP.

You have NO idea how little courts side with the fathers. EVEN if they pay child support. I work in family law and I know this for a fact. Don't judge when you DON'T know. Even with legal help you have little to no chance of getting 50/50. Unless you have a woman who is willing to give it to you. Its even harder to get more than weekend visitation when they are school aged kids. Who can afford in an economy like this to FLY your child to and from your house on a regular basis? I

BlueBride11

You should mind your own business. Do you sit behind a computer and pick on people for fun? Are you one of the mothers in this woman's life?  People like you give the knot a bad name

BlueBride11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ex-wife-her-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:635049c3-e4d2-4808-9035-149450e571e2Post:3ba648ff-3b56-4e36-9387-bd0833f79dc7">Re: Ex-wife and her children</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ex-wife and her children : Suggest that he do what? Google "father's rights" or make the bare minimum effort -- the cost of a birthday card and a postage stamp -- to let his kids know that he still loves them and desperately wants to be a part of their lives? Because really, you having to 'suggest' that he do either one of these things just adds to the growing field of red flags about your BF.
Posted by zitiqueen[/QUOTE]
 You have a daddy complex dont you...

[Deleted User]

Wow Bluebride, you really came unhinged there, didn't you? Impressive.