Wedding and then...baby???

teresastovall

I will be 30 next week and FI turns 34 in march.  Our wedding is in June 2011.  I had a child at 25 that FI has taken as his own!  We plan on starting TTC in August or September 2011.  Would be earlier but I have to wait till after HM to have my IUD taken out (sorry TMI for some) then have to wait a couple of cycles to clean out system.  I really would like a HM baby but that can't happen.

amandalee0830

I will be 23 when I am married in 2012 and have said that i will start thinking of having kids when i'm 25.  We will have been living together for 5 years by time we're married so it's like we have bee.  I think if you are both ready and you have a good home and job and a little money saved for the baby then go for it. I would also like to have a kid before i turn 30, but there is nothing wrong with being 30+ and prego.

shanna1420

I'm HOPING to be pregnant around a year after we get married. Hoping that it works out that I can tell my family on Thanksgiving I think that would give everyone something to be thankful for.
We are getting married Sept 2011 also. I will be 27 by then. So, I will be 28 1/2 when we start trying. I at least want some time to just be married. But...I have been having baby fever the past year, so it all might change. But there are things you have to consider. Although having a baby is amazing you have to think about money, childcare, you cannot do what you used to do, space, etc.
Make sure all of the cards are aligned before you get preggo on the honeymoon. I have been with my FI for 4 1/2 years, and we will be together 5 when we get married, but I still want some alone time with my husband

hollyjean380

I think this decision is one that only you and your FI can make.  I am 30 and my FI is 40.  We are getting married in May of 2011.  We will likely start having children 1-2 years after the wedding.  I feel young enough to wait longer than that, but it doesn't seem fair to my FI to wait much longer.  He has expressed interest in starting soon after the wedding, so we compromised to wait at least a year.  Each relationship is different.  I don't think either of you should be in a rush due to age, because people ten years older than you are having healthy babies everyday.  However, it is important to know where you both stand on this issue going in to the marriage. 

snj244

I'm 22 and FI just turned 25. We're getting married in June 2011 and then probably waiting about 2 years to have kids b/c I'm in medical school and that's the best time to do it before residency.  

For us it's all about the timing!

PhillyFoxy

Only you really know when you and your SO are ready. I'm 24, and my FI and I will be 25 when we marry next fall. Kids are simply not an option now and they definatly won't be then. I'm planning on going to medical school two years after I get married, and I don't really feel like dealing with a toddler on my knee when I'm trying to study. As someone else said, there's really no "right" time to have kids, especially for medical school students. But there is such things are "not so perfect" times and "Are you insane?!" times. Medical school, or at least the first two years, are one of those insane times. My biological clock is not ticking, so I'm not in a hurry. FI also agrees that we need a fairly stable income and I need to be pretty much wrapped up with medical school before we start trying. That will probably be in another 5 years or so.

I want to avoid getting pregnant after 40 for medical reasons, and due a hormonal disorder I have I can forsee myself having a hard time keeping a pregnancy or even getting preggers at all. But you know what? It's not the end of the world for me. We can always adopt if it's going to cause that much trouble. I was adopted and I have no problems with it. In fact, I want to adopt at least one kid.

[Deleted User]

I will be 24 (soon to be 25) and FI will be 27 when we get married. We are both eager to have cildren but with all the new obligations that come with marriage (e.g. we just bought our first house) we want to just take some time for ourselves and be more financially secure first. 

It's all about what you and your FH want. If you both feel you want children and can handle raising a child right away then go for it!

I want kids before I'm 30 too but that will still be 5 years away so there is lots of time!

elysekranitz

this is so funny! My FI and I have been together over 6 years, we are also getting married Sept 2011 and I'm 25- hes 28 too!  I am dying to get started with trying to have a baby like the wedding night but he wants to wait a year (or three) before we start trying.  My plane is to wait until the honeymoon (which we are delaying until Dec 2011) and then we will have been married a couple months and then suggesting that we try then.  I keep reminding him that even if it works the first time we try (unlikely) there is still a LONG 9 months until the baby gets here.  Hopefully he will go for it  
So my opinion is to get through the stress of wedding planning and then re-introduce the idea during the honeymoon or soon after!
Good luck!

Tiffany426

It is really personal choice. If you honestly think you are ready then is shouldn't matter how long after the wedding you wait. My fiance and I are probably gonna start tying on our late honeymoon which is a few months after the wedding. We aren't trying to beat any clocks. We've been together for 6½ years, 4½ of them we lived together. We pretty much lived the life of a married couple for the past 4½ years and neither of us feels that the title is going to change our lives so much that we'll need to put off children to "enjoy being newlyweds". We want to get married because we love eachother and that ceremony will bring us even closer together as a couple, but all the work that goes into managing a marriage and household together, we've endured. So we both feel the next step for us is starting a family which we can't wait to do. We have actually been talking about children for a year or so now and can't wait. We are young and probably better off than a lot of people our age that we know, which is why we feel more ready to take that step. I'm 24 btw and will be 25 by the time we get married. So there isn't any age too old or too young, it just depends on how ready you are for your life to change and how strong your relationship is to endure that change that comes with having a baby.

KarynR25

I say do whatever you and the hubby feel is right for you, within your own timeline, by your own rules. Having children is a lifelong commitment, and it will certainly change the dynamic of your relationship forever, but age and time is all relative. Whats right for me may be wrong for another and so on. Just make sure your both on the same page, and if so, away you go!!

BluValkyrie

we're not having kids; it's not something we want.

My parents had me when my Mom was 34 and my Dad was 36 almost 37 (I was born in between their birthdays); and that was after 13 years of marriage.

britbrat7

my fi wants to start almost immediately after the wedding, but i want to wait at least a year... enjoy my husband first!

naphthalene02

I'll be 31 when my FI and I get married next November, he will be 36.  We have been together for a few years but our decision is to start trying right away. But that is mostly because we already know we will probably have fertility problems (according to my doctor).  So the sooner we start, the better.  We will probably start fertility treatments at our 1yr anniversary.  But that is our situation.  At 25yrs old, enjoy your time together. You will have a family when the time is right, and it will be perfect no matter how old you are.

lizapugliese

I completely agree - Who wants to be at an age where you can't get your butt back after pregnancy? I don't think you can plan a 'timeline' since your life will change every day and it's more important just to feel ready, rather than have a five year plan or whatever. I am 24 and will be getting married right before my 25th bday, so I am in the same position age-wise. We've all seen people who are younger have babies and people who are older have babies and bad situations come from both - it's really where you are in life, Good luck with everything whenever you do start!

LaurdaJean

I've been with my FI since 2006, we're getting married in April, and we're hoping to conceive very soon after. We'll both be 23. I think it all really depends on how ready you both are to have a baby. We talk about having kids at least once a day, I've "mothered" both of my nieces in their pre-going to school years, so I'm ready to have my own. Go with your heart--do what's best for you and your FI.
Best of Luck!

Crazyfrog23

My fi are i at an impass right now on that.. I want them now lol but am content waiting till we r married. We have agreed to wait till a yr after we r married  to begin trying. I think that there is really no right time to have a baby if you 2 want a baby have at it!!! Congrats and good luck!!!

mastersheri2004

I will be 37 years old when we get married. We don't have children and we are still planning to wait about a year to have a baby. We want to have time to get used to living together and spend time together before we bring a baby in the world. There is nothing wrong in waiting.

monicapearia

We are totally unsure about timing on kids. We are trying to find a house first. I've never been really good with kids, so I have doubts about having my own. I feel like we should be very very sure first.

On another note, I feel like becoming engaged opens the gates for everyone to question our decisions about kids. The constant questioning about whether or not we are "trying yet" from everyone is driving me up a wall. Am I alone here? or does it strike you all as inappropriate and tacky too? 

amanda040

I am 25 my FI is 30. We are getting married Oct 2011. We plan on starting in Jan2012. Reason for this is my fI is 5 years older and fertility problems do run in the family unfortunately!

dianaraye

I am 29 and my FI is 30. We are going to start TTC In April (2 months before the wedding). That probably sounds insane, but we really are ready to have a baby. I don't drink, so it's not like it will ruin me having a "good time" at the wedding!

sassy1782

Well my FI seems to think that 30 is a deadline to have kids. I think he's nuts seeing as how I'm already 28 and if we have one, we're having 2.  I almost fell over when he said a few months ago that we'd have to try right after we got married.  He's got it into his head that he'll be "old" when they're teens and pregnancy after 30 is risky.  Which at one time it may have been, but times have changed. I plan on another year or two of enjoying us even though we've already lived together for a few years.  I think whenever you both feel ready than you should try.

pjen99

My FI and I are both 39.  Because I am concerned about my age we will start trying right away but I totally think everyone should decide for themselves what is best.  If age wasn't a factor, I would love having some "us" time with him before having children. 
Be sure to enjoy it all and be ready so you can enjoy the babies when they do come. 
Good luck!

MaggieEngaged

Every person chooses to put their life in a different order. My sister had her first baby at 18. My mom didn't have a baby until she was 37. As for my fiancee and I, we want to start young, preferably around 25, because there is a history of miscarriages in my family and I want to avoid all risks possible. We don't fool ourselves by thinking we can just pick an age and stick with it, though. Instead of setting up a timeline by age, we've set it up by our carreers; stable jobs and a stable home come before having a baby. Before we start a family, we want to make sure we can afford to give our children everything they need, especially because I want to work from home until all of my children are in school. If that isn't a reality by the time we're 25, then we'll wait. I agree with others, too, who say they want to wait a few years to enjoy their husband. Kids are a big, LIFELONG responsiblity... take some time to relax!!

CandaceGiroir

My fiance and I are going to start trying on our honeymoon....we have reason to believe that I will have problems becoming pregnant, along with other health conditions, and the longer we wait the harder it will be, if possible at all. We've been together for a year and a half, our wedding is in April, we are both 27. We feel that starting early will be ok because, not only is my body presenting a problem, but we're older, and we have just finished building our home and are settling into our life together already. We have talked this out and it continues to be a topic of conversation, so we know that we will be ready when we get pregnant. Granted, my health problems made it a little easier to decide to start early. As long as you and your fiance are on the same page and agree on the timing you've chosen, everything will be fine.

jimmieandbrittani

I agree with some others. It is totally up to you and your FH. I would get married and see how being a wife feels and then decide from there. People are telling me to wait 2-3 years but honestly I will do what is right for me, my husband and future children!

lpolak

I'm 25 (will be 26 when we get married in June) FI is 32 (will be 33 10 days after our wedding) and we've talked already and decided that we want to wait about a year until we start trying after we get married.  We've lived together now for 2 years, been together almost 3 and we want to own our own home before we start trying to conceive.  It's all up to you and your FI, but I know we want to enjoy it being just us before we add kids into the mix.

dianaraye

Ok I'm 28...where is my brain. I will be 29 when we get married tho

jhartford19

I am 29 and FI is 31. I would like to try right away, but FI is not too sure about that. We have been together for almost 12 years and have lived together for 7 years. FI has commitment issues :P So hopefully, he changes his mind next month after our wedding!

LilStormy1216

I'm getting married April 2012 and we're going to start the November after our wedding. (we would like an August baby) I'm 25 and he's 31. We've been together since 2004.
It's obviously your desicion in the end. Best of luck

sweetznme

I am 29 and will be one month away from 30 when I get married.  My fiance is 24 now, so he's got plenty of time, but fortunately, we both want to start trying for a baby right away.  If it were up to us we would get pregnant on the honeymoon.  I can't wait to be a Mommy and, come on, we weren't meant to wait until we were done living to have babies...that's just rediculous.  I think society has gotten progressively more and more self-involved and that's why you have all these 40+ year old women just having kids, I mean, come on, really...you want to be 60 when your kid is going off to college, noooo....so, I say, GO FOR IT...if nothing else, practive makes perfect and that's the always fun!!!