bad parent

jenn.daniel

On my way to school this afternoon, I saw a man in a wheelchair going along side the road.  By road I mean divided, 2 lanes each direction (w/some turning lanes where appropriate), speed limit 45.  That really doesn't seem safe to me, but that's his own decision. 

When I got closer, I saw there was a kid riding on the back of the wheelchair, and I realized that they're my downstairs neighbors.  It's one thing if he wants to risk his life, but I can't believe that he would endanger his kid(s) like that.  This is the first time I've seen him so far from home (about 3.5 miles), but I've seen him multiple times going to Walmart, which is off a somewhat hilly road with a blind curve and no sidewalk.  When he goes to walmart he usually has both kids with him.

Should I have called someone when I saw him on the bigger road today?  Who would I report this to?  Should I report it now, after the fact?

If it makes a difference, the man is married, and his wife drives a van, which is apparently broken.  The man works from home.

Ghoti

I'm a little confused, but if there is no sidewalk, what is he supposed to do?

SarahPLiz

Would you feel better if the kid had a helmet, or a bike? If this is their only transportation, there is no sidewalk, and they are on the shoulder then just don't hit them, k? 

jenn.daniel

The public bus would be a safer option for both of them.  There's a bus stop close to our building.  I know it's not their fault that the city doesn't have sidewalks everywhere, but it still seems risky to me.  I guess I won't let it bother me then.

tidetravel

I think this is a case of someone not minding their own damn business.

sister2groom

If you were going in their direction, did you think of offering them a ride?

NillaWafer10

Maybe you could offer your transportation services next time?  I find that when I'm concerned about an issue, it's best to take positive, personal action.  Relying on the government or another organization doesn't always yield results.

jenn.daniel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bad-parent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:9925b038-b7e8-4dac-83b6-f572d2c140f5Post:9dbee2e0-426a-41d8-9af0-bf97859c79a3">Re: bad parent</a>:
[QUOTE]If you were going in their direction, did you think of offering them a ride?
Posted by sister2groom[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't be able to get the wheelchair in my car.  I can't be late for class either.

I saw them in the parking lot at home later in the afternoon, so I guess they survived.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bad-parent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:9925b038-b7e8-4dac-83b6-f572d2c140f5Post:a0a7db10-707f-436b-845b-651c1512d025">Re: bad parent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: bad parent : I wouldn't be able to get the wheelchair in my car.  I can't be late for class either. I saw them in the parking lot at home later in the afternoon, so I guess they survived.
Posted by jenn.daniel[/QUOTE]
So, instead, your first thought is to report them to someone and get them in trouble. 

lindsaynewbride10

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bad-parent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:9925b038-b7e8-4dac-83b6-f572d2c140f5Post:ef1df3e4-b647-4819-b2ec-f981d3ed6610">Re: bad parent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: bad parent : So, instead, your first thought is to report them to someone and get them in trouble. 
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

So fast to jump to conclusions these days- did OP even mention the option of contacting "the authorities?" She was concerned about the well-being of the child. I would hope that you would appreciate that seeing as you've got a baby and another on the way.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bad-parent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:9925b038-b7e8-4dac-83b6-f572d2c140f5Post:8436caec-caf2-4013-9e6f-d486197b227b">Re: bad parent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: bad parent : So fast to jump to conclusions these days- did OP even mention the option of contacting "the authorities?" She was concerned about the well-being of the child. I would hope that you would appreciate that seeing as you've got a baby and another on the way.
Posted by lindsaynewbride10[/QUOTE]

This statement leads me to believe she wasn't calling the highway authority to have them install sidewalks:

<em>Should I have called someone when I saw him on the bigger road today?  Who would I report this to?  Should I report it now, after the fact?</em>

Coming from someone who had CPS called by a neighbor who made bogus claims just to fuuck with us (growing drugs in our back yard - really?), what I don't appreciate is people sticking their noses where it doesn't belong.  I am a parent, and I'm perfectly capable of deciding what is and isn't best for my children.  If OP were truly concerned about the welfare of the children, there are other ways to go about it, other than reporting them to someone.  Maybe talking with the neighbors and offering help?  Obviously, they're hurting right now, with their transporation being down.  It may be the only way that they have to get the kids where they need to go.  But, OP, is obviously more concerned about getting to class on time, than actually helping these people.   

Ghoti

I just want to say that I'm with Tide 100% on this one. So anything she says, just assume I'm saying it as well

jenn.daniel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bad-parent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:9925b038-b7e8-4dac-83b6-f572d2c140f5Post:aab68191-e511-402a-85e0-ff9e54f240a9">Re: bad parent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: bad parent : This statement leads me to believe she wasn't calling the highway authority to have them install sidewalks: Should I have called someone when I saw him on the bigger road today?  Who would I report this to?  Should I report it now, after the fact? Coming from someone who had CPS called by a neighbor who made bogus claims just to fuuck with us (growing drugs in our back yard - really?), what I don't appreciate is people sticking their noses where it doesn't belong.  I am a parent, and I'm perfectly capable of deciding what is and isn't best for my children.  If OP were truly concerned about the welfare of the children, there are other ways to go about it, other than reporting them to someone.  <strong>Maybe talking with the neighbors and offering help?</strong>  Obviously, they're hurting right now, with their transporation being down.  <strong>It may be the only way that they have to get the kids where they need to go.</strong>  But, OP, is <strong>obviously more concerned about getting to class on time, than actually helping these people.</strong>   
Posted by tidetravel[/QUOTE]

We've helped them before and tried to talk to them.  We lent/gave them money when they asked to borrow some, even though we were pretty sure they'd never pay it back.  Later we found out they were going around to all the neighbors asking for money. 

Lately the talking has been FI knocking on their door and telling the mother the kids are throwing dirt at people outside (3 separate occassions).  She doesn't know b/c she never watches them (don't know where the dad was at the time).  Any other conversation with her is her complaining the people don't give her stuff, her mom doesn't bring a cake for her birthday, etc.  These people expect everyone else to take care of them, and I'm certainly not going to encourage it. 

As far as their only transportation for the kids, I'm pretty sure the 4 year old didn't have any pressing appointments.  The older one takes the bus to school.

Yes, I'm more concerned about my class than my neighbors.  I don't tolerate tardiness from my students or myself.  Excuse me for putting my job before helping people who expect handouts.  They obviously don't want to listen to us, and I was just wondering if this was serious enough to try to get someone else to talk some sense into them.  I guess it isn't.

TheCranberry

OP, I think it's good that you're worried about the safety of the children.  There are times where people see abuse and do nothing because it's a "private matter".  I don't think I would have called CPS or the authorities for something like this though.  Your heart seems to be in the right place, but it doesn't seem to rise to the level of child abuse.  It doesn't sound like you were planning to report them out of spite or because you want to meddle in their affairs. 

If you want to help, maybe you can give them information on services that help disabled people run errands or something like that.  Or perhaps offer to pick up a few items for them when you go to the store.

Soon2BeMrsTing

This isn't something I would call CPS about.  If he left the four-year-old at home alone (which seems to be the alternative this parent had the day you saw him on the road), that's reason to call CPS.

Sure, the child most likely had no "pressing appointments," but perhaps they were on their way to see a doctor or running some other urgent errand together. 

It is sad how many small towns in America lack adequate sidewalks, especially by the side of roads with heavy traffic.