Just felt the need to share my story..

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:0b621bce-e2b5-4728-9cbb-34ebe608a617">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : That's not what I meant...
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

And yet it's what you wrote. 

gundy21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:5afd3bed-4de7-4913-a89d-abf0785a4455">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I had my son 14 days before I turned 16, I then had my daughter a week before my 21st birthday. I finished school and continued on to college which I have also finished. I am now an RN at the age of 24. For people to judge young mothers is a horrible thing to do. <strong>A lot of the time young mothers are better than older mothers, being as we try harder to make it and make our childrens life better than ours was, plus we're young and able to play with them and chase them around the house and keep up with them. Where older mothers start having health issues before their child is old enough to take care of themselves...  Just some food for thought... Judging people isn't anyone else's job.
</strong>Posted by DianasGoingToTheChapel[/QUOTE]

You did a pretty good job of judging people in your post, too.  As someone that will become a first time mom just before I turn 40, I find your comments highly offensive and downright untrue.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:9b34f3dd-ed47-4d34-a3d6-14720eea6ea2">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : So by this logic, any baby that doesn't make to term is what?  God's trash?  Some extra non-baby He didn't have plan for?  That's horrifically offensive.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

I understand what you're saying... I also think she is 18, she is not really an adult yet and isn't thinking straight... considering she thought getting married at 18 could have been a good idea, I wouldn't take what she is saying to heart. They are still very naive and clueless at that age... coming from the 31 year old dinosaur in the room hahaha

eesh33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:fba753ff-7681-4504-8f94-bce4c49e5b3e">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : And yet it's what you wrote. 
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Well, I said I didn't mean it. I'm tired of you making me feel worthless! Okay, your not better than everybody!

StephBeanWed61502

Owning, I work with high schoolers regularly.  I can guarantee none of the kids I work with would be so tactless as to suggest that people have miscarriages because "God didn't have a plan for your baby."  I don't give people a free pass on being tactless and heartless just because they're not old enough to legally order a beer.

Gabrielle76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:5afd3bed-4de7-4913-a89d-abf0785a4455">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I had my son 14 days before I turned 16, I then had my daughter a week before my 21st birthday. I finished school and continued on to college which I have also finished. I am now an RN at the age of 24. For people to judge young mothers is a horrible thing to do. A lot of the time young mothers are better than older mothers, being as we try harder to make it and make our childrens life better than ours was, plus we're young and able to play with them and chase them around the house and keep up with them. Where older mothers start having health issues before their child is old enough to take care of themselves...  Just some food for thought... Judging people isn't anyone else's job.
Posted by DianasGoingToTheChapel[/QUOTE]

It's wonderful that things worked out for you, likely because of your hard work and determination, but that outcome is far from the norm.  Women who have babies before finishing high school are much more likely to end up stuck in low wage jobs, and their children are at greater risk for many different psychological difficulties later in life (for many reasons). 
I'm not saying that anyone should judge women who get pregnant young, but there are many documented reasons why it isn't a good idea. 

courtski2004

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:23496cea-271e-415a-9d68-cc4c30dd47f9">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : Well, I said I didn't mean it. I'm tired of you making me feel worthless! Okay, your not better than everybody!
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

Take some time to fully think about what you're writing before you hit 'submit'. As my mom would say, "use your words." Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Nobody is acting like they're better than you, people were offended by what you said. Don't go all martyr here, seriously.

eesh33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:34707b0e-ba3b-470d-bf0b-fc1d3da12939">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]Owning, I work with high schoolers regularly.  I can guarantee none of the kids I work with would be so tactless as to suggest that people have miscarriages because "God didn't have a plan for your baby."  I don't give people a free pass on being tactless and heartless just because they're not old enough to legally order a beer.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Whatever I'm done arguing with you. This is ridiculous!

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:555dd3a9-b365-4658-909b-27d7229c8ffc">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : Whatever I'm done arguing with you. This is ridiculous!
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

No, what's ridiculous here is that you are completely and utterly unwilling to own up to the fact that you said a really, really stupid thing, and that you won't apologize for it.  "I didn't mean it like that" does not an apology make, sweetheart.

eesh33

For those of you who are questioning my education, I have straight A's, and always have. I'm in my first year of college. i graduated high school last year because I skipped the 3rd grade.

eesh33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:bb85a366-f8cf-46d5-8870-702729eabc2a">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : No, what's ridiculous here is that you are completely and utterly unwilling to own up to the fact that you said a really, really stupid thing, and that you won't apologize for it.  "I didn't mean it like that" does not an apology make, sweetheart.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry if I offended any of you ladies, and I'm sorry for being rude.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:60ccf1a3-3b71-4799-a6c3-571034da2a07">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry if I offended any of you ladies, and I'm sorry for being rude.
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

I'm picturing a five year old with pig-tails stamping her foot while saying this, just FYI.  You may be sincere, but it's not coming across that way right now.

eesh33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:0eec545d-f80b-4a05-ad44-50f9d95470a8">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I'm picturing a five year old with pig-tails stamping her foot while saying this, just FYI.  You may be sincere, but it's not coming across that way right now.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

I was raised to respect my elders, and I said I'm sorry for disrespecting you.

courtski2004

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:610a1a75-6c02-4283-97df-459c8f7620fd">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]For those of you who are questioning my education, I have straight A's, and always have. I'm in my first year of college. i graduated high school last year because I skipped the 3rd grade.
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

3rd grade must be where they teach the difference between 'your' and 'you're' and how to use ellipsis marks then.

In all seriousness, congratulations on continuing your education. It is the best possible thing you could do for yourself.

StephBeanWed61502

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:aecf8250-32c3-49fa-a109-2d0059a6c403">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I was raised to respect my elders, and I said I'm sorry for disrespecting you.
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

I don't care that you disrespected me, really, I don't.  I care that you basically told another poster she miscarried and you didn't because God had a plan for your baby but not hers.  Are you seriously not getting how profoundly fvcked up that statement is?

eesh33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:766b7ce2-721b-4fc8-9063-9c8cd9168eeb">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : 3rd grade must be where they teach the difference between 'your' and 'you're' and how to use ellipsis marks then. In all seriousness, congratulations on continuing your education. It is the best possible thing you could do for yourself.
Posted by courtski2004[/QUOTE]

I'm not writing an essay that I'm going to turn into my college professor, so I'm not really concerned on whether I'm using all that. Thank you anyway for congratulating me.

eesh33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:2f65a36e-6365-48a7-9b90-770abc400c24">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I don't care that you disrespected me, really, I don't.  I care that you basically told another poster she miscarried and you didn't because God had a plan for your baby but not hers.  Are you seriously not getting how profoundly fvcked up that statement is?
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

Iwent back and read all of it, and yes I realize how bad it sounded.

courtski2004

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:e5c12507-7fa0-429d-8294-2c66f6be214b">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. :<strong> I'm not writing an essay that I'm going to turn into my college professor, so I'm not really concerned on whether I'm using all that.</strong> Thank you anyway for congratulating me.
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]

So you'd just rather come off sounding like an idiot? Gotcha.

cwaggoner07

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:5afd3bed-4de7-4913-a89d-abf0785a4455">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I had my son 14 days before I turned 16, I then had my daughter a week before my 21st birthday. I finished school and continued on to college which I have also finished. I am now an RN at the age of 24. For people to judge young mothers is a horrible thing to do.<strong> A lot of the time young mothers are better than older mothers</strong>, being as we try harder to make it and make our childrens life better than ours was, plus we're young and able to play with them and chase them around the house and keep up with them. Where older mothers start having health issues before their child is old enough to take care of themselves...  Just some food for thought... Judging people isn't anyone else's job.
Posted by DianasGoingToTheChapel[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Aside from OP, this might be the most naive, offensive, and most untrue statement I have ever read. No one, baby or not, can honestly say that they wish motherhood on themselves at that young of an age. I appreciate that you tried to look on the positive side of you unintended pregnancies, but give me a break. Give me a fvvcking break.</div><div>I went and got an education and a well-paying job, and I exercise regularly and can probably run laps around all the young mothers out there (for that matter, my insanely fit mother can probably run laps around you). I'm pretty sure, at least on paper, I am m ore equipped to be a mother than you were at 15.

</div>

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:e5c12507-7fa0-429d-8294-2c66f6be214b">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I'm not writing an essay that I'm going to turn into my college professor, so I'm not really concerned on whether I'm using all that. Thank you anyway for congratulating me.
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]
The point of learning how to write and spell properly is to use those skills regularly in your daily life, not just when you're turning in a paper to be graded.  I'm saying this as a college professor, by the way.

OwningAHome1981

In Response to Re:Just felt the need to share my story..:In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story..:In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : I'm not writing an essay that I'm going to turn into my college professor, so I'm not really concerned on whether I'm using all that. Thank you anyway for congratulating me.Posted by eesh33The point of learning how to write and spell properly is to use those skills regularly in your daily life, not just when you're turning in a paper to be graded.nbsp; I'm saying this as a college professor, by the way. Posted by Viczaesar In all seriousness, some of it might not be her fault... The mobile knot site does not allow you to use parentheses, dollar signs and a few other things. I will agree and say though that at her age people should really know the difference btwn you're and your and there, their and they're. BTW if my apostrophes are not showing up it is bc I am on the mobile site

arendiva

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:4081af78-dce1-4a45-9251-7dd2930f53fd">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : 'm sorry for your loss. I'm just saying that if God didn't have a plan for my baby, something would have happened. 
Posted by eesh33[/QUOTE]


My god. Do they teach nothing in schools anymore. Miscarriage has nothing to do with "god's plan" and everything to do with biology and the fetus' development in the womb. If it develops incorrectly it often aborts. This can happen to women who are healthy and who do everything right or women who do drugs and drink alcohol. There's a million reasons why a pregnancy can end in miscarriage. For you to justify your teenage pregnancy by asserting that god obviously approves or else he would have struck the baby down, makes you sound very ignorant and no where near mature enough to be raising a child or getting married. But obviously you're going to do what you want to do.

My best friend in high school wanted to marry her then boyfriend (who was a few years older and was in the military) I begged her to rethink it and to wait a few years until she was older. My advice went unheeded. She got married the week before graduation (her bf was home on leave) she took her new husband to prom :eyeroll: Needless to say that marriage didn't last. I think they were married for two years before they separated and I think it was four years before they were officially divorced. Divorce is expensive and time consuming. They were happy together just long enough to concieve a son. Who she had when she was 19. So now she's stuck with a kid and her dreams of college are long since gone down the drain. Her ex is a deadbeat dad who never bothers to see her son, was dishonorably discharged from the military, and who doesn't pay child support. She's gone through more live in boyfriends than I can count anymore but at least she hasn't married again.

But by all means keep praying that you'll be the one teen in a million whose marriage lasts. And when your divorce inevitably follows you can console yourself with the knowledge that it must have been part of "god's plan"

eesh33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:224bccdf-6f97-443a-9748-7e55f1c17d01">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just felt the need to share my story.. : So you'd just rather come off sounding like an idiot? Gotcha.
Posted by courtski2004[/QUOTE]

I'm not perfect, sometimes I make mistakes and don't pay attention. SORRY!

GardenMaven

I would just like to give a big hug to arendiva for your post and StageManager for you picture.  The fail was hurting.

Also, why are there so many pregnant teenagers who NEVER think of adoption.  I was given up for adoption as an infant, because my birth parents knew it would be better for me.  I have since met them, and they ended up getting married AFTER college.  Something that never would have happened had they kept me.  It is a very good alternative, and I don't know why it is not advocated more.

MoonlightSilver

As someone who started dating my now-husband at 14 years old, and got engaged at 19 but knew the ring had already been bought when I was 18, can I give you some advice?

Wait.

Wait until you're older to get married. Live together now, if you can and/or want to. Act like a married couple. Make joint decisions on finances and careers and where you want to live. Do everything a married couple does, except don't get that important piece of paper that says you're legally married. 

Once you've lived like that for a while, decide if it's what you really want. If so, great- start saving and plan your wedding. If not, you've saved yourself a lot of heartache (though it'll still be difficult to separate).

Good luck.

cwaggoner07

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:82532dfb-f312-4d78-8a3b-1695f7e23125">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, why are there so many pregnant teenagers who NEVER think of adoption.  I was given up for adoption as an infant, because my birth parents knew it would be better for me.  I have since met them, and they ended up getting married AFTER college.  Something that never would have happened had they kept me.  It is a very good alternative, and I don't know why it is not advocated more.
Posted by GardenMaven[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I completely agree. I'll admit, I watch 16 and pregnant. It seems like so many girls know it's not the smartest thing to do to keep the baby, but they say 'I got myself into this mess and now I have to grow up and accept the consequences.' I understand they think they are taking responsibility (that they probably don't fully understand), but they are looking at it as mistake=punishment and not taking into account at all the quality of life for this person they have created.

</div>

sierraberry32

We have options nowadays! Just because you had a baby with him, doesn't mean you need to marry him as soon as possible. Besides, don't you want to wait so you can actually drink champagne/wine when you have your wedding toast? 

Also, having a baby at that age and saying God intended it, sounds like an excuse for a young girl that didn't take responsibility for herself when it came to sex, your man should have protected himself as well. Not saying you are a bad mom, just trying to say, waiting would have benefitted you.

arco13

Not that I'm defending the statement, but I don't think it's just immaturity that caused the OP to say the "god's plan" thing. This is just the ignorant nature of religion for a lot of people (not all-I know many very well educated ministers and religious folk). I mean, I know someone on fb, who thanks god for eh-heh-heeeeeeverything. "Aced my test! Knew prayer would work!" "I found my missing jewelry today! God works in such wonderful ways!" And I hear these types of things from people of all ages. I do live in Texas y'all. You should hear what all "God" had to say about the election...

Some people don't know what else to do, so they attribute everything that happens to God. It's a practice that dates back to ancient times when they didn't have science, so they didn't understand why things did the things they did, so they attributed it to Sun gods, etc. 

I still don't think it was right to be said, but I really don't think OP was trying to be malicious.

GardenMaven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:cc3067aa-d464-4337-a96c-bdd4d0d45729">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]GardenMaven, only five states allow adoptees to access their birth records. In other states, they are sealed by court order. "Open" adoptions are not enforceable by law. The adoptive parents can renege once the adoption is finalized - and many do once they've got the baby in their hot little hands. "My" judge won't give me my file even though I returned to my parents, took back my name, and got their consent and my adoptive father's (the woman was dead by then) to the release. In Texas you can only petition the county that finalized your adoption, even if you weren't born in that county (I wasn't). It's entirely up to the judge. Some do it on demand. Mine even refused a man whose daughter needed a bone marrow transplant. That's why adoption isn't advocated more...it treats birthparents as incubators and babies as commodities. People ask me why I didn't adopt. IVF was less expensive, and the social workers didn't like my husband's medical history.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>I know that the laws have changed a lot.  Both my sister and I were adopted as infants and they were closed adoptions.  (Records sealed till age 18.)  We have both been able to contact our birth parents after the fact, but it was a lot harder for my sister.  She is four years older than me and her records were very scarce compared to mine.  I would not advocate open adoptions at all, though I know some are successful.  I can only speak to the laws in Wisconsin as that is where my adoption took place, but I know that they give much more information now and make it easier to find your birth family, if they want to be found.</div><div>
</div><div>Are the records sealed forever in the other states?  Or just until someone is an adult?</div>

GardenMaven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_just-felt-the-need-to-share-my-story?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a5ef90ed-856f-40fb-97c8-3d60749b9029Post:005c773b-61a8-46a6-acf1-a6a1f90d0593">Re: Just felt the need to share my story..</a>:
[QUOTE]Some of you have some horrible things to say. This couple may be young, but they've been together three years. They took responsibility for their child, and are doing their best to raise her. The remarks about miscarriage, though, are heartless. I had six of them, and ended up infertile.  This is not "God's will" or "a hidden blessing," and it doesn't always mean "there was probably something wrong with the baby." Our babies died inside us. Yes, we lost a BABY. Maybe we never held it in our arms, but it was a child to us. We had hopes and dreams, and they were very much wanted. We do not want, or need to hear: "It's God's will." (God didn't decide we weren't fit parents, and chose to sterilize us). "You can try again." Maybe. That doesn't lessen the pain of losing this one, and sometimes you can't try again. All of mine were lost. "Well, these things happen for a reason."  So do car accidents and heart attacks. Does that make them less tragic? "It's not like it was a real baby." Oh, really?  That's not what the pregnancy test said. We had a name picked out. Eesh, I hope  you never, ever knowswhat this is like. I'm crying right now, and the last one was six years ago. The pain never goes away.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>I wanted to respond to this too.  My parents were unable to conceive through any means, including IVF.  When I asked my mom about it as a young child, I just remember the pain on her face as she told me why they had to adopt.  I can't imagine the pain of losing a child and I do count miscarriage in that.  My grandma is one of those, "It happened for a reason" people and I hate it.  I am sorry for the pain you have gone through and continue to have.  </div>