To all the Brides to be

smmessinger

  I know everyone is as excited as I am to have found the love of your life and have the ability to take their last name. I just wanted to take a minute out of my day to say congratulations to everyone. I hope everyone has the wedding of their dreams without any bumps in the road. Good luck(:

smmessinger

 I would hope if you are getting married it would be a happy occasion? Other than that I am just wishing everyone good luck.

Anysunrise

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:85bf09e6-08f4-4a1c-8eb3-53eefc88f409">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE] I would hope if you are getting married it would be a happy occasion? Other than that I am just wishing everyone good luck.
Posted by smmessinger[/QUOTE]

Think she meant the taking his name thing. Which is probably why she bolded it.

jennipea382

I appreciate the sentiment but I think what Linger was getting at is that not everyone changes their last name. I personally will be, but lots of women choose not to (or to hyphenate) for various reasons. Just a thought :-)

smmessinger

 Sorry I didn't realize it. I guess I left some people out with that comment. It would be better to say for  everyone who has the love of their life.

emarston1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:260d69d9-f71b-464c-95ce-ad0c3f6a21d0">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, I kept my name.  One, for professional reasons.  <strong>Two, I'm lazy.  </strong>
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]
The process definitely isn't for the impatient.  It was a PITA and I still have some left that I need to change.

rlavach

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:49108ba6-3bff-41f5-a86e-507b8f2137e0">To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]  I know everyone is as excited as I am to have found the love of your life and have the ability to take their last name. I just wanted to take a minute out of my day to say congratulations to everyone. I hope everyone has the wedding of their dreams without any bumps in the road. Good luck(:
Posted by smmessinger[/QUOTE]
That's very kind of you, OP. As you can see, changing your last name is a bit of a controversial topic on here, as are a host of other topics. FWIW, I will be hyphenating and only because I'm the last generation with our last name in the US, so I want to preserve it a little longer. But it will really only be on paper. I'll go by Mrs. HisLastName socially.<div>
</div><div>If you lurk on some of the board, I'm sure you'll learn the other hot topics.</div>

smmessinger

 I didn't mean to offend anyone or cause a problem. I didn't realize that is was such a contraversial issue. Where I am from it is unusually to hear of someone not taking their husbands last name. I only know of one lady who hyphenated hers. I just know its nice when I am congratulated so I just wanted to share the congratulations. I do like hearing about why a person kept their maiden name or are hypenating it. 

acaponi87

Thanks! Congrats to you too!

RailWayWife

Congrats to you as well

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:81cc550b-2199-41c2-aff8-7e17a0ac118a">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE] I didn't mean to offend anyone or cause a problem. I didn't realize that is was such a contraversial issue. <strong>Where I am from it is unusually to hear of someone not taking their husbands last name. I only know of one lady who hyphenated hers</strong>. I just know its nice when I am congratulated so I just wanted to share the congratulations. I do like hearing about why a person kept their maiden name or are hypenating it. 
Posted by smmessinger[/QUOTE]

<div>I find that really sad.</div><div>
</div><div>Anyway, congratulations to you.  </div>

mellimel19

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:81cc550b-2199-41c2-aff8-7e17a0ac118a">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE] I didn't mean to offend anyone or cause a problem. I didn't realize that is was such a contraversial issue. Where I am from it is unusually to hear of someone not taking their husbands last name. I only know of one lady who hyphenated hers. I just know its nice when I am congratulated so I just wanted to share the congratulations. I do like hearing about why a person kept their maiden name or are hypenating it. 
Posted by smmessinger[/QUOTE]

I will be taking my FI's last name, but I will be changing my maiden name to my middle name. I personally don't really like hyphenating. And while it is important to me to have the same last name as my husband, my father passed away when I was younger, so it's important to me to keep my maiden name in some way, kind of like keeping a part of him with me. :)

ETA: Oh and congratulations to you too!

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:02d5bc94-6a77-42d2-aa60-2988b5ce1d78">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to To all the Brides to be : That's very kind of you, OP. As you can see, changing your last name is a bit of a controversial topic on here, as are a host of other topics. <strong>FWIW, I will be hyphenating and only because I'm the last generation with our last name in the US, so I want to preserve it a little longer. But it will really only be on paper. I'll go by Mrs. HisLastName socially.</strong> If you lurk on some of the board, I'm sure you'll learn the other hot topics.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

The same applies to me as well.  My family name will die with me as I am the last one and there are no boys to carry on my father's name, therefore, it will be hyphenated.

Congratulations to you!  This is a very exciting time in your life, so enjoy it to the fullest b/c it will fly by before you know it :)

MrsBee11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:333521f4-8007-4426-ab18-6f41d28ced4f">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: To all the Brides to be : I find that really sad. Anyway, congratulations to you.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

What about that is sad to you? And I'm not asking because I'm offended or trying to argue, I just don't understand how the fact that she happens to be from an area where more people stick to the traditon of taking on their husband's name could be "sad". It's a personal decision. Just the same as someone choosing not to.

ChristineNB

I will be taking my husband's last name, but only because I have choosen to do so.  He doesn't really care one way or another whether I take his name or keep my own.  My parents don't have any boys, but I see no reason to keep my last name.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:333521f4-8007-4426-ab18-6f41d28ced4f">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: To all the Brides to be : I find that really sad. Anyway, congratulations to you.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

Why in the world is that sad? Your post makes you sound like a condescending ahole.

Chobot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:49108ba6-3bff-41f5-a86e-507b8f2137e0">To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]  I know everyone is as excited as I am to have found the love of your life and have the ability to take their last name. I just wanted to take a minute out of my day to say congratulations to everyone. I hope everyone has the wedding of their dreams without any bumps in the road. Good luck(:
Posted by smmessinger[/QUOTE]

<div>It is a really good feeling right? Yay engagement!</div>

monkeysip

Congrats to you too, OP.  Hope you have a lovely wedding and fun planning!

smmessinger

Thanks everyone for all of your comments. I love hearing about things that are different than what I am used too. I def gave me a new perspective on things. It's not sad that where I am from people usually take their husbands last name.(I am from a small town in South Carolina) I don't think it is sad for people who don't. To each their own, but thank you to everyone who told me their stories for why they are keeping/hypenating their last names. Again I hope everyone has the best engagement/ wedding of their dreams(: 

RyansBelovedBride

I think I know you! I'm from South Carolina too and when you said that I looked at your screenname and thought "I know her!" Haha!

RyansBelovedBride

Okay, no I don't. I just went and facebook stalked the person I thought you were and you're not... but you're probably related. Are you from the Upstate?

smmessinger

No I am from Conway (bottom have of the state lol). I am 20 Mins or so from Myrtle Beach. (Most people haven't heard of Conway they just drive through it)

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:1082be49-a1fb-4c72-9204-51565c581848">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: To all the Brides to be : What about that is sad to you? And I'm not asking because I'm offended or trying to argue, I just don't understand how the fact that she happens to be from an area where more people stick to the traditon of taking on their husband's name could be "sad". It's a personal decision. Just the same as someone choosing not to.
Posted by MrsBee11[/QUOTE]

<div>It's sad exactly because it should be a personal decision.  Instead, no one is making the decision, they are just doing what everyone else is doing, because they aren't exposed to an alternative.  </div><div>
</div><div>It would be just as sad if it were the other way around and she was raised on some hippie commune where women never changed their name, and thus the decision would have been made for her the other way.  </div>

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:78373d79-52cf-4230-b8c2-2becd2571d5e">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: To all the Brides to be : Why in the world is that sad? Your post makes you sound like a condescending ahole.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

<div>It's sad that a whole group of women don't feel like there is an alternative, or that they have a decision.   </div><div>
</div><div>But thanks for adding a touch of class.  </div>

smmessinger

Who says it isn't a personal decision? It is not right to say what a person knows is "sad". I am not trying to fuss and I understand your point but the way it comes across isn't very nice. Tradition is a big thing here and that is not sad. Up holding a tradition is what a person chooses to do not something they are forced to do. I am taking my husbands last name but my younger sister always says her husband is going to take hers. What a person knows or believes is a reflection of where they are from and wether they choose to step out of the box or not is their decision. It isn't we aren't exposed to an alternative it's we choose to be traditional. I do appreciate your opinon though. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:38e4aada-53e0-4565-ac43-bc1b705576b2">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: To all the Brides to be : It's sad that a whole group of women don't feel like there is an alternative, or that they have a decision.    But thanks for adding a touch of class.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

I think you read way too much into her post. She never said there wasn't a choice. She just said that it wasn't the norm in her area. There is a huge difference.

bethanyj6811

OP I understand what you mean about not being used to that kind of thing. I live in a small town also. I am changing my last name out of choice, though. But congratulations to you too! have a great marriage and life!!

MrsBee11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:a8525224-05b3-4ea3-9272-b19fb12a1bd5">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: To all the Brides to be : It's sad exactly because it should be a personal decision.  <strong>Instead, no one is making the decision, they are just doing what everyone else is doing, because they aren't exposed to an alternative.</strong>   It would be just as sad if it were the other way around and she was raised on some hippie commune where women never changed their name, and thus the decision would have been made for her the other way.  
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

And you know that, how?

PrincessPeach2009

First of all to the OP, thanks. Congrats to you too! Next, my Fi always jokes that he's gonna take MY last name...lol. I can't wait to be Mrs.K. I don't want my initials to be SRP (aka SyRuP) anymore...lol.

foleyta

In Response to Re:To all the Brides to be:[QUOTE]nbsp; I know everyone is as excited as I am to have found the love of your life and have the ability to take their last name. I just wanted to take a minute out of my day to say congratulations to everyone. I hope everyone has the wedding of their dreams without any bumps in the road. Good luck: Posted by smmessinger[/QUOTE]

Thank you!! Congratulations to you as well!! You are very sweet to post that. Don't let anyone make you feel weird about posting that. I know what you mean about tradition and understand what you're saying. I am taking my FI's name and I look forward to it. I have learned that people are easily offended on these blogs and they leave mean comments or like to argue. I had an experience with that just yesterday. Your whole congratulatory message was overlooked by some, but I appreciate it. Good luck to you and the love of your life!!

bluesmiley78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_to-all-the-brides-to-be?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b0165128-2e03-49bf-ac62-1d53c87229bePost:0c88dd35-c4b9-490b-a015-e52900214d7f">Re: To all the Brides to be</a>:
[QUOTE]I will be taking my husband's last name, but only because I have choosen to do so.  He doesn't really care one way or another whether I take his name or keep my own.  My parents don't have any boys, but I see no reason to keep my last name.
Posted by ChristineNB[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Me too!!</div>