Hey, I have something that has been bothering me since my friend's wedding last weekend.
She asked me to be her personal attendant, and while at first I was flattered, I began to realize that the role seemed more like a "I want you to be a part of my day so that you can do all the stuff nobody else wants to do". Sorry, but this girl also had 5 bridesmaids and I just thought that the role was a little overmuch. Anyway, as her special day got closer the more resentful I became because she kept saying one thing and then saying another thing later. For instance, she said she wanted me to be in her bridal party dance, then said "I didn't need to" then said she wanted me to be up there for the bridesmaids special dance, then said "I didn't need to." Not to mention, the resentment started when she asked me to put on her bachelorette and I ended up forking over $300 because her MOH/sister didn't want to do it!!! Anyway, that is obviously petty, but like I said I was resentful. Anyhow, her wedding weekend arrived...
We went to the rehearsal dinner and everything was fine and a bunch of us went to a bar afterwards, everything was also great and we all had a blast (more so than the actual wedding reception!). She had told me earlier in the evening she wanted me at the church around 2:00 to help with the final touches....and also that she wanted me to join her and the bridesmaids for a brunch at 10:00 where she would get us Starbucks coffee and muffins. Sounds great and easy...right?! So anyway, Saturday morning arrives and I am about to hop in the shower to get ready for the brunch when I get a missed call from the bride so I call her back. She says that the plans had changed and that the bridesmaids and her were going to a nearby diner instead and that "could I just go ahead and take advantage of my continental breakfast at my hotel and that she would buy me a coffee at the diner while everyone else ate." Sorry, folks but that put me over the edge. The way I see it is here is this bridezilla expecting me to wait on her hand and foot all day and then she has the nerve to ask me to take care of myself while she provides breakfast for her bridesmaids!...it's not even a cost issue, because had she mentioned nothing about buying everyone else's and just asking if I would come to the diner, I would have probably offered to pay my own way anyway...she just basically told me to take care of myself. I just told her to go ahead with the girls and I would catch up later at the church or hotel (since my hotel was in a different location from hers and the adjoining diner).
So 2:00 comes and I call to see if she is still getting ready at the hotel (of course she is cause she is never on time!) so I go to the hotel. Finally, an hour later the bride is ready and she tells me to go with her to the church to help put on her dress. We go and everything is a bit tense because the hour that I was in the hotel waiting for her and the other bridesmaids to get ready she kept acting completely frantic (understandably so...to anextent) and was dropping hints on how her family and friends and bridesmaids had been running around crazy all day doing stuff for her. I feel bad because all these people were busting their ass all day, but at the same time I feel like I have been treated like a second-class citizen this whole time. Plus, I figured she should have been much more organized because her bags were all a hot mess and she couldn't find a thing....plus, I am sure many of the last minute things could have been avoided if she wasn't competely unorganized! Anyway, after the wedding she didn't talk to me at all including the bridal party ride to the reception and at the reception.... and I kind of avoided her cause I was definitely getting the vibe that she was pissed at me.
Should I feel guilty for not being more helpful throughout the day or was I justified in only helping from 2:00 on (where at the church I helped whereever I was needed)? I told her to call if she needed anything and she never did...and sorry, I don't have ESP, unfortunately.
I'm just am not looking forward to seeing her this next weekend (local town event and she and her hubby are back from their honeymoon). For background knowledge, we are relatively new friends and our relationship was growing but now I really just don't want to have anything to do with her. The only reason I know her is because she married my old roommate and while she was being a complete bridezilla he was being thankful and kind.
Let me know your thoughts cause this is really bothering me!