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Chit Chat
planning your own proposal
So I was just lurking through the Not Yet Engaged board and I just don't understand this. There are multiple threads about women planning their own proposals or they've already started wedding planning but aren't actually engaged yet. It just made me curious...why would anyone want to do that? I'll admit my fiance was well aware that I wanted to to be engaged and plan my wedding but I had no idea how, when or where he would do it. I didn't pick out my own ring and I really only had ideas of what I wanted for my wedding before we got engaged, but nothing set in stone. I didn't even join TK until I was engaged!
Can someone enlighten me on this? Any of you plan your proposal or pre-plan your wedding.
Can someone enlighten me on this? Any of you plan your proposal or pre-plan your wedding.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: planning your own proposal
[QUOTE]I've always been perplexed by this too. I had no idea my proposal was coming and my ring is a family heirloom. I've never understood girls who try to dictate a specific ring or some sort of eleborate proposal. I wandered over NEY for the first time the other day and was so confused and blown away by the planning but not engaged yet thing. That just seems completely crazy to me. If I was a guy and my girl was already wedding planning prior to proposing I'd see that as a <strong>big red flag that screams batshitcrazypants all over it.</strong>
Posted by cnf2013[/QUOTE]
This just made me laugh so hard!
June 2012 Bride!
If people want to be coddled, they need to go to Weddingbee. NEYers don't let people get away with that sort of madness.
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
[QUOTE]I think it depends on how you define "engaged."<strong> Some couples start planning their wedding together before there is a ring or a proposal, though they have already agreed that they want to marry and that they are ready to start planning. These people ARE engaged (though some people don't think they are engaged yet). Planning a wedding together means you are engaged, even if you don't have a ring.</strong> On the other hand, some women start planning on their own before their partners state their intent to get married. These women are BSC.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
<div>We have a flow chart for this reason. True facts. </div><div>
</div><div>Some girls will plan the wedding with their BF, yet do not consider themselves engaged. They then come to the board whining and complaining: why oh why hasn't he proposed yet?? We're getting married in six months, but he hasn't propoooooooosed??? HELP MEEEEEEE!! And then when we tell them, hey, you're planning a wedding together, congrats! They come back all, we're not engaged! Who do you think you are!</div><div>
</div><div>Lurk around NEY on the regular and you'll see it all. People can be crazy pants. </div><div>
</div><div>And we occasionally get the BSC chick who's been dating her BF 2 months and is all OMG HE'S GOING TO PORPOISE!!!!</div>
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: planning your own proposal : <strong>We have a flow chart for this reason.</strong> True facts. Some girls will plan the wedding with their BF, yet do not consider themselves engaged. They then come to the board whining and complaining: why oh why hasn't he proposed yet?? We're getting married in six months, but he hasn't propoooooooosed??? HELP MEEEEEEE!! And then when we tell them, hey, you're planning a wedding together, congrats! They come back all, we're not engaged! Who do you think you are! Lurk around NEY on the regular and you'll see it all. People can be crazy pants. And we occasionally get the BSC chick who's been dating her BF 2 months and is all OMG HE'S GOING TO PORPOISE!!!!
Posted by audrewuh[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I love flow charts!!!
</div>
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: planning your own proposal : I love flow charts!!!
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
<div>I will find it for you!</div>
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
[QUOTE]One of my favorite classic Bette Davis films, "Old Aquaintance", has the line "No really nice woman ever wants to marry a man who doesn't want to marry her ." Ironicly, Bette was having an affair with her co-star's husband at the time. Those ladies really hated each other!
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]
<div>Hahaha! We usually pull out the Jenna Marbles Face or the Prince gif. </div><div>
</div><div>BTW, CMG, how is your son? He was in a fire a few months back, right?</div>
"You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc
[QUOTE]Tada!
Posted by audrewuh[/QUOTE]
<div>Love it!!!</div>
[QUOTE]I think it depends on how you define "engaged." Some couples start planning their wedding together before there is a ring or a proposal, though they have already agreed that they want to marry and that they are ready to start planning. These people ARE engaged (though some people don't think they are engaged yet). Planning a wedding together means you are engaged, even if you don't have a ring. On the other hand, some women start planning on their own before their partners state their intent to get married. These women are BSC.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]
We did this. We booked our venue, photographer, JP and I had my dress all before my ring. It was hard for me because although FI got congrats from everyone no one considered me "engaged" until there was a ring on my finger. In fact I pretty much jumped down a coworkers throat when he said "oh are you still planning your imaginary wedding?".
Personally i don't get the importance of the ring. We were getting married way before it was on my finger,
That being said I did venture to that board once..... And it was scary :)
[QUOTE] I don't understand the vitriol on the NEY board. They've all decided how things have to be (for everyone in the world), but it isn't always so black and white.
Posted by travelerkris[/QUOTE]
In Response to Re: planning your own proposal:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: planning your own proposal : We were getting married way before it was on my finger, That being said I did venture to that board once..... And it was scary :)
Posted by 1mobags[/QUOTE]
Man, I sure do hear a lot of baww'ing all up in here.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: planning your own proposal : We have a flow chart for this reason. True facts. Some girls will plan the wedding with their BF, yet do not consider themselves engaged. They then come to the board whining and complaining: why oh why hasn't he proposed yet?? We're getting married in six months, but he hasn't propoooooooosed??? HELP MEEEEEEE!! And then when we tell them, hey, you're planning a wedding together, congrats! They come back all, we're not engaged! Who do you think you are! Lurk around NEY on the regular and you'll see it all. People can be crazy pants. And we occasionally get the BSC chick who's been dating her <strong>BF 2 months and is all OMG HE'S GOING TO PORPOISE!!!!
</strong>Posted by audrewuh[/QUOTE]
Thats offensive to people who get engaged after a few months- my H proposed after 3 months- that doesn't make our relationship/engagement any less important than someone who waited 3 or 4 years. It just means we knew what we wanted.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: planning your own proposal : Thats offensive to people who get engaged after a few months- my H proposed after 3 months- that doesn't make our relationship/engagement any less important than someone who waited 3 or 4 years. It just means we knew what we wanted.
Posted by brittany634[/QUOTE]
<div>When you're 17, it's crazypants. End of story.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: planning your own proposal : <strong>When you're 17, it's crazypants. End of story.
</strong>Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]
thats fine, however making a statement saying that it's always crazy to get engaged after a short period of time is and can be offensive.
Stage- I understand the point of the post, I was addressing the one statement. Not the post as a whole.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: planning your own proposal : thats fine, however making a statement saying that it's always crazy to get engaged after a short period of time is and can be offensive. Stage- I understand the point of the post, I was addressing the one statement. Not the post as a whole.
Posted by brittany634[/QUOTE]
Drew wasn't trying to offend you with that statement. Try not to take things so personally. Does it surprise you that engagements that happen that quickly are often subject to a little skepticism? There are exceptions to every rule, of course, and everyone knows that, but when all I know about a couple is that they got engaged after just a few months, I'm going to side-eye a little until I get to know them. If you're secure in your relationship, that's all that matters. If you're going to get offended every time somebody makes a comment like Drew's, you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of indignation.
Also, I don't think Stage was talking to you.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:planning your own proposal:
You may not have had a ring or a proposal yet, which is fine, but their point is that the definition of being engaged is intending and planning to get married. So you were literally already engaged.
Saying you aren't engaged because you don't have an e ring or proposal is like saying you didn't have a wedding because you didn't wear a big white gown or have a tiered cake.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
EXACTLY. That's is my point. We were engaged but not one person considered me engaged until the ring was on my finger, my point being it was a double standard. For him congrats all around..... For me it was make believe until I had my diamond.
[QUOTE]Tada!
Posted by audrewuh[/QUOTE]
I flucking love that flow chart!