Groom in jeans?!

Tarahays88

My F hates getting dresses up and since we're pretty laid back people I said it would be ok for him and his guys to wear jeans and vests and ties. After thinking about it, should he wear a jacket to set himself apart or just have a diff color vest or tie?! Suggestions?

HobokensFury

Sorry but jeans are not appropriate for any wedding no matter how casual it is.  Have him wear nice slacks.

LaceyH13

I disagree with PP. I think it would be better for your FI to be comfortable on his wedding day and to enjoy the day than to try to meet some random person's definition of "appropriate".

It would probably be a good thing for him to wear a jacket, at least for the ceremony. Then he could probably take it off during the reception to be more comfortable.

As long as the jeans are nice (read: not filled with holes or dirty) I think it can look nice. My best friend's husband and friends wore brand new dark Wranglers for their barn wedding, and it was just fine. The pictures are actually really cute, and it made him happy, which was the most important.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:0528254a-f149-48b9-ad83-4fb2734934f8">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry but jeans are not appropriate for any wedding no matter how casual it is.  Have him wear nice slacks.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

This.  And I absolutely hate guys who wear vests without jackets.  Either have them all wear jackets or have none of them wear vests.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:90fa8e0b-3693-4270-b258-37566b82e48f">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I disagree with PP. I<strong> think it would be better for your FI to be comfortable on his wedding day and to enjoy the day than to try to meet some random person's definition of "appropriate".</strong> It would probably be a good thing for him to wear a jacket, at least for the ceremony. Then he could probably take it off during the reception to be more comfortable. As long as the jeans are nice (read: not filled with holes or dirty) I think it can look nice. My best friend's husband and friends wore brand new dark Wranglers for their barn wedding, and it was just fine. The pictures are actually really cute, and it made him happy, which was the most important.
Posted by LaceyH13[/QUOTE]

I disagree with this.  My H, I know, would have been a lot more comfortable in jeans because he never gets dressed up unless we have to go to a funeral or wedding.  But he also knew that this wasn't just some random event or party, this was our wedding day and as such deemed something a bit more dressy and appropriate then jeans.

QueerFemme

Jeans are inappropriate for a wedding party/groom.  At least get a pair of dockers.  If he doesn't like formal wear...  he doesn't have to wear a suit or a tux... but, a pair of cotton khakis is not any more uncomfortable than a pair of jeans.

GoodLuckBear14

No. Under no circumstance are jeans appropriate wedding attire unless you are in Vegas, drunk off your asses and getting married for the hell of it.

cwaggoner07

I come from a VERY small farm community, and I saw lots of guys get married in jeans in a barn (and not the trendy rustic barn venues, like a legit barn they had to go clean out).
So I don't think it's strange but it REALLY has to fit the vibe of your wedding.

LaceyH13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:0f520b6d-9611-4bcc-abf1-28492c6d6b4a">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I come from a VERY small farm community, and I saw lots of guys get married in jeans in a barn (and not the trendy rustic barn venues, like a legit barn they had to go clean out). So I don't think it's strange but it REALLY<strong> has to fit the vibe of your wedding</strong>.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

This is partially what I was saying. All of you who think it's ridiculous to wear jeans to a wedding: I think it's ridiculous for a groom to be in full tux while getting married in a real, legitimate barn. The attire should suit the setting of the wedding.

Plus, don't you think it would look silly if the groom was super dressed up while his friends, standing next to him, were in jeans?

gundy21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:a6faa142-60a3-4662-8248-50549e1005de">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Groom in jeans?! : This is partially what I was saying. All of you who think it's ridiculous to wear jeans to a wedding: I think it's ridiculous for a groom to be in full tux while getting married in a real, legitimate barn. The attire should suit the setting of the wedding.<strong> Plus, don't you think it would look silly if the groom was super dressed up while his friends, standing next to him, were in jeans?
</strong>Posted by LaceyH13[/QUOTE]

The groom and his guys are going to look silly and underdressed if the bride and the BMs are dressy.

If the bride and her girls are very casual (think sundresses) then the jeans might fly, otherwise, I think the guys should be in Dockers or dressier. 

LaceyH13

I understand that that there is a huge range of attire between the two, but I also understand that this is one of those situations where the part of the country may dictate what is and is not appropriate.

People who live in urban New York or Los Angeles or Miami or, heck, even Dallas might not get it. And that's fine. People have different visions of what they want when they get married. Maybe they want a super casual wedding...to each their own.  That doesn't meanwearing jeans is always "inappropriate".

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:fc0f606c-9060-43e8-a880-644e9b1d750c">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Groom in jeans?! : There is a HUGE range of appropriate attire between jeans and tux. 
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

THIS !!!!    Khakis, a decent pair of dress slacks, a walmart pair of dress slacks.  Jeans are not appropriate.

ootmother2

You deserve better so tell him that

gundy21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:3355db25-54fb-441b-873d-310202b11611">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand that that there is a huge range of attire between the two, but I also understand that this is one of those situations where the part of the country may dictate what is and is not appropriate. People who live in urban New York or Los Angeles or Miami or, heck, even Dallas might not get it. And that's fine. People have different visions of what they want when they get married. Maybe they want a super casual wedding...to each their own.  That doesn't meanwearing jeans is always  "inappropriate".
Posted by LaceyH13[/QUOTE]

My grandfather was a dairy farmer.  He wore pinstripe overalls everyday.  He owned a sport coat and dress pants for special occasions.  I remember him wearing that to their 40th anniversary picnic and my grandmother's funeral.  There just are some occasions that warrant something a step or two up from jeans (no matter how dressy they are).

aragx6

I want to know what your dress looks like. Because if its at all formal you guys are going to make quite the interesting pair.

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:3355db25-54fb-441b-873d-310202b11611">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I understand that that there is a huge range of attire between the two, but I also understand that this is one of those situations where the part of the country may dictate what is and is not appropriate. People who live in urban New York or Los Angeles or Miami or, heck, even Dallas might not get it. And that's fine. People have different visions of what they want when they get married. Maybe they want a super casual wedding...to each their own.  That doesn't meanwearing jeans is always  "inappropriate".
Posted by LaceyH13[/QUOTE]

So far... I see people from Arkansas, Indiana, Wisconsin and Maryland, as well as the NY/NJ area and California...  saying, jeans for the groom is a no/no for a wedding.  Unless the bride is showing up to her wedding in something VERY informal...  and they are getting married next to a mud pit with monster trucks, the groom should spring for a decent pair of pants. Not a suit, not a tux... but a pair of pants that doesn't have "wrangler" or "levis" on the ass. 

I know a LOT of people who are very informal 99.9% of the time... but, they know when its appropriate to dress like it's a special occasion.

JoanE2012

Isn't your wedding day special enough that it warrants a step above your everyday jeans? 

Peavy

The bride and groom need their attire to match in level of formality, so if the groom is wearing jeans, then I assume that your dress is also very informal - short, cotton, etc.  If it's not, then the two of you will look like you're attending different events.  If you were going to a backyard barbecue and your fiance was wearing shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops, I doubt that you would show up in a sparkly cocktail dress and stillettos...because that's not appropriate for a barbecue and the two of you could not match in level of formality.

Same thing for your wedding.

ginadog

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:64835d88-708b-40a7-8032-e9261a81065f">Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]My F hates getting dresses up and since we're pretty laid back people I said it would be ok for him and his guys to wear jeans and vests and ties. After thinking about it, should he wear a jacket to set himself apart or just have a diff color vest or tie?! Suggestions?
Posted by Tarahays88[/QUOTE]

I think it can work depending on the context!

Look at these sexy cowboys.  So the groom is wearing black pants, but envision him looking like a groomsman.  Heck even black jeans could pull off the groom's look.

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Peavy

In the photo above of the bridal party, it looks like the men couldn't decide if they were going to a wedding, or going out to plow the north forty, so they dressed for both.

eileen1086

I'm in California and I see nothing wrong with your guy wearing jeans at your wedding. I know mine is planning on wearing a pair of black Wranglers and I have no problem with that. It is who he is; how he feels comfortable and I love him all the more for it. I am planning on getting married in December at the court house then BBQ for family on the 4th of July, with any luck I can find a blue dress that will work for both. Do what feels right for you as a couple and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. To me a cowboy in jeans is far sexier than some stuffed suit any day. As for if he should wear a jacket if you think he needs one then go for it, but all wearing vests works also. This isn't just your wedding it is his also. You wouldn't let him tell you what to wear so why should you be able to tell him what he can wear especially without accounting for his taste, comfort level and personality.

RamonaFlowers

You're wedding is a special day (A term I usually avoid like the plague using), so you really need to treat it like it's more "special" than any other day. If your FI doesn't want to wear a suit, okay, that's fine, not everybody's a "suit guy". But jeans? Really? Come on, you're not just hanging around the house/going to work/whatever that day: you're getting married. That's pretty freaking special. It should be treated as such. Even throwing on a pair of khakis with a dress shirt would be a thousand times better than showing up in "just jeans".

If it's any help, here's an article I really like directed towards brides that don't normally "dress up", but the logic/message can just as easily be applied to grooms. Maybe this can ease you and your FI's concerns about "dressing up" while at the same time maybe nudging him away from the jeans

http://offbeatbride.com/2010/03/what-to-wear-when-you-dont-want-a-dress-or-a-suit

JennluvsPaul

I really hate to bring up such a terrible topic, but think of it this way: what would you wear if you were headed to a divorce hearing?

If you would wear jeans to court, then fine. If you would wear slacks to court, then your wedding should at least be at that level or a step above that.

naforeman84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:64835d88-708b-40a7-8032-e9261a81065f">Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]My F hates getting dresses up and since we're pretty laid back people I said it would be ok for him and his guys to wear jeans and vests and ties. After thinking about it, should he wear a jacket to set himself apart or just have a diff color vest or tie?! Suggestions?
Posted by Tarahays88[/QUOTE]

My fiance and his BM and GM as well as RB are wearing jeans.  I believe with the PP that said it is your day and you should be comfortable.  I know most people dont think it is acceptable but do what makes you guys happy.  Some people have said to me you are going to look back at your wedding pictures and be like "what did I do",  no I wont I will look back and look how much fun we had and how happy my husband is.  :)  Good Luck hope to see pictures.  My FI and guys are going out tonight to get thier shirts, jeans and dress shoes.  and hey... what about those people that wear sneakers or shorts?  it will all work out.  :)  GOOD LUCK

Maggie0829

For all the brides on here that are having their FI wear jeans on their wedding day, what do your dresses look like.  Are they satin or lace?  Are they long and a bit full?  I just feel like most wedding dresses are on the formal(ish) side and paired next to jeans will just look awkward.  But if your dresses are short sundresses or very simple long dresses then that would coordinate...anything more fancy then that and you and your FI are dressing like you are going to two different events.

Anyway, aren't kahkis or slacks lighter and more breathable then jeans, especially in hot weather?  I would think that they would be a lot more comfortable then thick, hot jeans.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:f9c1832d-f0dc-4645-963f-d100c5600a6f">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Groom in jeans?! : So far...<strong> I see people from Arkansas, Indiana, Wisconsin and Maryland, as well as the NY/NJ area and California...  saying, jeans for the groom is a no/no for a wedding.</strong>  Unless the bride is showing up to her wedding in something VERY informal...  and they are getting married next to a mud pit with monster trucks, the groom should spring for a decent pair of pants. Not a suit, not a tux... but a pair of pants that doesn't have "wrangler" or "levis" on the ass.  I know a LOT of people who are very informal 99.9% of the time... but, they know when its appropriate to dress like it's a special occasion.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

You can add a Philadelphian born in raised in Cincinnati with a ten year stint in Cleveland to the list.

becky659

I had a friend who's husband wore nice wrangler jeans at their wedding. He wore a white western shirt with a western neck-tie thing (no idea what they're called?) and a cowboy hat. My friend wore a gorgeous satin mermaid gown with a huge tiara and a veil.
He did look a little bit informal, but it was so "them" since, like us, they live out on a farm and their lives revolve around their horses.
I don't mind it a bit. It made them happy and the pictures are gorgeous!

Red2111

blue jean's no, black jeans that look like slacks could be alright imo.


honeslty, i think whats more important is to analyze this form teh aspect of what the photos will look like.  you want to make sure that you and him share the equal spot light in the pictures.  

if you dress is casual, then dressed up jeans with a nice jacket will look great; espeically if the venue is rustic or vintage looking.  heck you can even make a theme out of it *nods*

but if your dress is cindarella ball gown, then the pictures are not goign to be flattering for him and will result in him either being embarrased or resenting it.

either way i'd say a definate yes to him wearing a jacket or blazer though *nods*

MyUserName1

men's dress clothes that fit properly are not any less comfortable than jeans.  I hate the "uncomfortable in suits" argument.  H gets all fired up when dudes complain that dress clothing is uncomfortable. Buy things that fit or get them tailored.

Also, ditto PPs that jeans are fine if the bride is wearing a sundress, or some other very casual outfit.  It looks stupid when the groom is wearing everyday clothing and the bride is in a ballgown.  Match the formality, people!

naforeman84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:20648aca-b17d-4ad5-937f-4d45c6a7c85e">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]For all the brides on here that are having their FI wear jeans on their wedding day, what do your dresses look like.  Are they satin or lace?  Are they long and a bit full?  I just feel like most wedding dresses are on the formal(ish) side and paired next to jeans will just look awkward.  But if your dresses are short sundresses or very simple long dresses then that would coordinate...anything more fancy then that and you and your FI are dressing like you are going to two different events. Anyway, aren't kahkis or slacks lighter and more breathable then jeans, especially in hot weather?  I would think that they would be a lot more comfortable then thick, hot jeans.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

My FI is wearing jeans and my dress is a long chiffon dress.  very simple.  i am not wearing a vail just some light curls and a flower in my hair.  with nice simple sandels.  the same for my BM... they are wearing simple black one shoulder jersey materal long dresses with red simple sandels and caring just a single rose.  very simple.  i think it will all come together.  :)

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_groom-in-jeans?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:0bffb424-58cd-444b-8cae-d8640680f6dbPost:0f520b6d-9611-4bcc-abf1-28492c6d6b4a">Re: Groom in jeans?!</a>:
[QUOTE]I come from a VERY small farm community, and I saw lots of guys get married in jeans in a barn (and not the trendy rustic barn venues, like a legit barn they had to go clean out). So I don't think it's strange but <strong>it REALLY has to fit the vibe of your wedding.
</strong>Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]

You know, if I saw a groom in jeans in the middle of an <strong>uber</strong> formal wedding I would side eye it but I wouldn't spend a lot of time on it.  While I do appreciate and encourage the whole party to match formality I am in the "who REALLY cares" camp.  It is his wedding too.

Back it he 70's my hippie brother got married in jeans at his hippie wedding.  It was complete with Neil Young music.  When I got married a few years later in a semi-formal wedding he walked me down the aisle wearing black jeans.  Wouldn't have had it any other way.  It was who he was.

I'm not encouraging jeans but I really just don't give a rip.  I want to see a happy couple, I don't care what they wear.  We also had a couple of guests show up in jeans and tshirts at last DD's wedding.  Yeah, I side eyed it for about 2 seconds but this just isn't something that gets my panties in a wad.