Found the dress-now how do I break it to my mom?

LeneeRee817

I went into a bridal store with my maid of honor on a whim one weekend. I tried on a number of dresses not expecting to fall in love with any of them-but I did. It was on sale, so I bought it. At the time, my fiance and I had just decided to set a date and had not told anybody but our best friends, and we planned to tell everyone together at the next family gathering. So I didn't tell my mother about the dress. I am my mother's only daughter and she was looking forward to the wedding dress shopping experience, and has started talking about going dress shopping with me. What would be the best way to let her know that I have already found and purchased my dress?

bridesrighthand

Oh, thath's a tough one. Maybe just tell her what happened and that it wasn't planned, then offer to go on a special trip to pick out HER dress. It will still be special, even if it isn't your dress you're picking out.

[Deleted User]

I'm the only daughter too. Tell your mom you love her and that you appreciate that she wanted to be there for you.  Next tell her you were just browsing in this store and you found a dress that hit you.  That you had to have it, you got the feeling this was the one and you couldn't stop looking at it. In a way, I know how you feel. I wanted my mom to be there for my dress try ons, but she was busy working.  She wasn't upset about it too much, she was actually glad I had found a dress that was what I wanted and it was in our budget.Invite her to your fittings.  She really shouldn't be to mad at you.  However, the longer you put off telling her the more likely you're going to get a response you wont like.Talk to her and tell her how you feel, she's you're mom. More than likely she will try to understand where you are coming from.

SarahPLiz

I hope you get more replies on this from MOBs, because I might end up in a similar situation. I am the 2nd daughter to get married, but my older sister eloped, so Im the first to actually go through the planning process. My mom lives 7hours away, so we planned to go shopping together when I am there for Christmas. However, I found my dream gown online AND someone is selling one used for less than half price, with the tags still on, in my size. I am going this weekend to try on similarly styyled gowns to see if that style would even look good on me. I will probably tell my mom, but I wonder how disappointed she will be.

Spim7

Just be up front with her about it and hopefully she'll be able to be with you when you go in for fittings.

mbcdefg

Just be honest with her, and let her know that you bought it out of convenience and not as a slight to her. If the store still has the sample, go back with your mom and model it for her. And maybe ask her to help you pick out a veil or jewelry on another shopping trip.

junelley

I am the only daughter and I bought my dress without my mother, but it was because she was states away from me.  What I did was the next time I was back to my parents' town, I took her (and my dad, too) to a local bridal shop that had my dress.  I told her to pick out dresses that she'd like me to try on, and then I also modeled my dress for them.  We took the chance also to look around the store for a dress for her and my flower girl.  (I didn't want to totally waste the store's time.)  That way, she still had that shopping experience.  In your case, I'd definitely tell her as soon as you can, and let her know that you did it because you couldn't pass on the opportunity and you still want that experience with her, then perhaps take her to a store like I did with my parents.

joebeth22

mbcdeft -- has a great suggestion! Go model the dress for your mom; tell her the story/truth.  There is so much more the making the dress PERFECT for your day.  The shoes, the VEIL (mom's love the veil, it seems) maybe gloves or gauntlet or a lace bolero, the jewelry, the hairstyle and hair jewelry, the bouquet -- you could involve her in some of this, no? oh, a purse... crinoline, fittings to be sure the seamstress gets it just right.  Now I'm getting nervous just thinking about all this!

stina93446

I would just tell her that you found it, but that you'd love to go dress shopping with her maybe? Or tell her that she definitely can come with you to find a veil/hair pieces or the first fitting.

sweety7946

I would go dress shopping with her and don't tell her you have a dress yet.  Try on stuff you'll hate so you won't get tempted lol.  Then call her later and tell her you were walking by a bridal shop and "she" was there and you had to buy her.  That way she won't feel left out.  I didn't buy my dress with my mom either.

alliecarrie41

wow i couldn't imagine doing this   i feel sad for your mom!  i'd go back and model with her in the shops at least.