I don't like my engagement ring :-(

afrenchprincess

My FI gave me a custom made engagement ring very beautiful but it's set in Yellow Gold! Yikes! Yellow gold is very dated as we all know. He thought it was good idea because it "matched well with my skin tone" as he said. I just don't like it and I don't want to wear it :-( It's a custom made piece and other than the yellow gold color it's beautiful!
Am I so wrong in feeling this way about the ring? I mean everybody has WG now no YG as engagement rings. What can I do about it?
Thanks in advance!

LaceyH13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dont-like-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:3bee85da-b36a-40b1-a38f-1e96ee0041d0Post:a782c678-5d27-4bf1-bc40-48b637b4283a">I don't like my engagement ring :-(</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI gave me a custom made engagement ring very beautiful but it's set in Yellow Gold! Yikes! <strong>Yellow gold is very dated as we all know.</strong> He thought it was good idea because it "matched well with my skin tone" as he said. I just don't like it and I don't want to wear it :-( It's a custom made piece and other than the yellow gold color it's beautiful! Am I so wrong in feeling this way about the ring?<strong> I mean everybody has WG now no YG as engagement rings.</strong> What can I do about it? Thanks in advance!
Posted by afrenchprincess[/QUOTE]

Do you really dislike your engagement ring, or are you just trying to follow the trend? It's okay to like yellow gold, even if white gold may be more common at this point. If you look around at women of all ages, I'm sure you'll see that at least as many, if not more, engagement rings are yellow gold.

If you truly don't like it (regardless of what anyone else thinks), talk to your fiance. If you are going to marry him, you should feel comfortable talking about something like this.

I don't know anything about jewelry, but is it possible to have it re-dipped in white gold? It might be expensive, but considering you say it's a custom ring it might not be possible to return or exchange.

Just start by talking to him. Nothing will happen if you don't express how you feel, and the sooner you do it, the better. Exchange policies can be strict, so you should take care of it ASAP before time is up.

jujub423

I don't think yellow gold is "dated", A girl I work with has a yellow gold ring (she's in her early 30's), because she prefers gold. 

I'll admit, I wasn't super in love with my ring at first.  My FI asked what I liked/didn't like, we went and looked at rings together, then I ended up with a ring that had princess cut diamonds and it was a three-stone--exactly what I said I didn't really prefer.  But you know what? I love the ring now.  I know that he picked that out especially for me; he said he saw it and knew that was what he was going to get me.

Just focus on the fact that this ring probably means a lot to him--especially if he designed it.  He's committing his life to you.  It's really not about the ring itself, it's about what it stands for. 

firsttimersluck

I have platinum, but I don't think yellow gold is "dated", it's just not as "popular" RIGHT NOW. That doesn't mean it won't come back.. DO you really want a "trendy" ring, because you will be hating your ring every few years if that's the case... 

However, I understand not loving yellow gold. I rarely wear yellow gold, so white seemed to be the best for me, personally. If you love the ring itself, and just not that one detail, I would be honest with him about it when you guys go look for bands. Tell him that you rarely wear yellow gold. You LOVE the ring more than anything, but wear silver colored jewelry much more.. soo... it's a small adjustment to the same ring. 

I don't see an issue with that. If you two are partners, you have to be able to be honest about that. Just don't hurt his feelings... He obviously went through a lot of effort for that ring for you. :]

matcha

I have a yellow gold ring. I think it is very classic, a la Grace Kelly and other beautiful old hollywood types.  And I do have yellow undertones, so yellow gold compliments me.  

Don't hate on the yellow gold just because you think it isn't popular. in fact, if you look at a lot of style magazines, more and more celebs are wearing yellow gold. It very well may be back in the mainstream spotlight soon.  

However, If you fid it truly repulsive, you'll have to talk to your FI about replacing it.

afrenchprincess

Thanks! I think I don't like it because WG is the trend and people that I see with YG rings are usually older women i.e. my grandma.Though I do know people my age that have YG. I just imagined a WG e-ring. I'm such a fashionista :-) I understand what you say about changing with the trends he can't return the e-ring b/c it is custom made.
I will look into having it dipped possibly. Or I may just wear w/o changing it b/c I know he put a lot of thought into designing it and it came from his heart. I just wished he would have paid  more attention to the new styles LOL!

jagore08

I have a white gold wedding ring but I change up my jewelry (not my wedding ring, of course) between white and yellow gold depending on my outfits.  I think you should take some time and sit with your ring.  I think having a yellow gold ring these days is kind of special because most of the new rings these days are a white metal.

Cortney1982

If you don't like it, let him know and trade it in, but it's silly to not like the ring only because you think yellow gold is outdated!    I went with white gold because I have a cool undertones not because it's currently trendy.

kristiwashere

If you don't like yellow gold, because it's not your preference, then voice that opinion. if you don't like it because it's not "popular", that's silly. 

I will add though - my DF sold jewelry for many years, and says white gold/platinum is a better fit for diamonds because it allows the light to reflect better than yellow gold, which can sort of muddle the brillance of the diamond. So if you need an excuse, tell your DF that white gold would make the stone look better

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dont-like-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:3bee85da-b36a-40b1-a38f-1e96ee0041d0Post:a782c678-5d27-4bf1-bc40-48b637b4283a">I don't like my engagement ring :-(</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI gave me a custom made engagement ring very beautiful but it's set in Yellow Gold! Yikes! Yellow gold is very dated as we all know. He thought it was good idea because it "matched well with my skin tone" as he said. I just don't like it and I don't want to wear it :-( It's a custom made piece and other than the yellow gold color it's beautiful! Am I so wrong in feeling this way about the ring? I mean everybody has WG now no YG as engagement rings. What can I do about it? Thanks in advance!
Posted by afrenchprincess[/QUOTE]

Are you real?  Are you going to hate your wedding photos in ten years because they are dated and you want to be more up to date?  Are you THAT slavish to trends?

Hello - it's time to grow up and say what YOU like, not what the rest of the world tells you to like.  It's a sign of maturity and all.

As for me, I love my yellow gold ring.  It's my grandmother's engagement ring and I bought a yellow gold wedding ring to match.  I guess I'm un-trendy and silly for picking a sentimental ring over the something that is so ZOMG RIGHT NOW TRENDY!!!!!! 

Please.

meganb1977

My ring set is also yellow gold.  This is what I wanted because all my jewelry is yellow gold since my ears are sensitive to anything but real gold and it's easier to find earrings in yellow gold.  I also wanted emeralds (his birthstone) in my set and I thought they looked better set in yellow gold.  Each of the married ladies in my wedding party has a yellow gold ring engagement and wedding ring set.  One of them wears almost all silver tone earrings and necklaces and it looks fine.  Fiance also wanted yellow gold for his wedding band.

However, understood that it wasn't what you envisioned.  If your preference is silver tone, perhaps you can find a good moment (i.e. when you start looking at weddng bands) to suggest to your fiance that he did great and you love everything about your ring except you would prefer silver tone, and how would he feel about having it dipped or reset? Not knowing your fiance, I can't say how he would react, some guys might be understanding and others might take it personally.

artbyallie

Honestly, I think diamonds usually look better in yellow gold because it makes them stand out better. My e-ring is a sapphire and my band has both sapphires and diamonds, and are both white gold, mainly because that's my H's favorite metal (ha--nearly called him 'fiancé' and we've been married over 6 months now). I don't actually have a huge preference and wear both colors of metal, but most of my 'nice' jewelry is white metal simply because sterling silver is both durable and relatively inexpensive. I plan to wear all shades of gold (love rose gold too) when I can afford it.

AurorasEnvy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dont-like-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:3bee85da-b36a-40b1-a38f-1e96ee0041d0Post:d336807b-24a8-4c75-8c98-d61a5c6bf9a3">Re: I don't like my engagement ring :-(</a>:
[QUOTE]If you don't like yellow gold, because it's not your preference, then voice that opinion. if you don't like it because it's not "popular", that's silly.  I will add though - my DF sold jewelry for many years, <strong>and says white gold/platinum is a better fit for diamonds because it allows the light to reflect better than yellow gold, which can sort of muddle the brillance of the diamond.</strong> So if you need an excuse, tell your DF that white gold would make the stone look better :)
Posted by kristiwashere[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is exactly why I prefer WG to YG.  I could care less what's in/out right now, I've just always had a preference for WG since I was a child.  If you've always loved WG and decide you want to switch, maybe when you go shopping for your wedding band you can casually bring up the idea of how you love the WG wedding bands and segue into discussing changing your e-ring band to WG?  I'd tread lightly though, as he custom designed your e-ring you wouldn't want to hurt his feelings that you really dislike it.

</div>

skippylouwho

Yellow Gold is actually coming back in style. You'll see it more in trim on clothing now and the trend back to yellow gold is expected to continue.

blgrout

FWIW, I used to hate yellow gold.  But, the older I get, the more I like it and I actually have some yellow gold pieces in my jewelry box.  If you truly don't like it, then talk with your FI as PP suggested.  But, if you're wanting white gold because it's more "in" right now, just remember that  In 10 or 20 years, white gold might not be considered attractive at all, and then you might be wishing for your yellow gold band back again.

SCogs18

Personally, I don't think yellow gold is dated, it's just not my personal taste for most of my jewelry.  I do have some YG pieces I do love though.

If you really dislike the yellow gold setting, talk to your FI.  Perhaps you could have it dipped to make it appear to be white gold?

I didn't like the ring my FI proposed to me with.  It was his grandmother's engagement ring and it was falling apart.  It was missing a stone and the gold was worn very thing.  We took it to a jewler and it was beyond repair, so I got lucky and got to pick my own ring!

Grits8812

It sounds to me like you like your ring, you are just worried about it being considered "fashionable" and "up to date".

An engagement ring is timeless.  I have never seen one that I was like "Oh, that must have been nice back in the day, but that one diamond isn't in style."

You'll learn to love it.

Dulmaria

I think that yellow gold is the most classic and elegant there is.
Don´t follow the trends, you MUST be in love with the ER.
I changed mine three times until I found a ring that I truly loved, my first one was a three stone WG marquise and pear shaped diamonds.

I ended up with and 88 diamond cut three stone, 18 k YG, and I love it.
Sometimes I wish I had a solitaire, but I love the bling on my ring.

Think it over, once you get married, you probably won´t want to change the ring.

starryeyed77

I made it clear early on that I didnt' like yellow gold jewelry. 

If you really don't like yellow gold, I would tell him you love the custom ring but that you prefer white gold.  I'm sure the jeweler can reset it in white gold. 

bethanydiane09

My Engagement ring is yellow gold and I love it!! I'm only 20 btw....I think its classy, beautiful, and unique while still being traditional.

desertmomnm

I had a friend who got engaged at the end of college and her ring was WG because her mother's was.  She didn't like it because at the time all of the rings were YG.  Now it's true that more are WG or platinum, but I have heard that YG is making a comeback.  My friend who has only been married 7 years has YG too and so did someone else we know.  I think it might be because they're of the age when YG was more trendy. 

I hope you learn to love your ring.  I'd love to see a picture. 

tldh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_dont-like-engagement-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:3bee85da-b36a-40b1-a38f-1e96ee0041d0Post:a8e8058d-0937-44c2-8b8d-8f992ceb960e">Re: I don't like my engagement ring :-(</a>:
[QUOTE]100 years ago, many conservative ladies considered colored stones with diamonds to be vulgar.  They got rid of the pieces in their collection that had rubies, sapphires or emeralds because of fashion.  Now weren't they silly?
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

They'd be clutching their pearls at my e-ring then :)

OP - try living with it for a while before deciding that you hate it.  Ten years ago, DH started my collection of silver and platinum jewelry because he thought it looked better on me than yellow gold (which is what everyone was wearing for necklaces and earrings then).  Turns out that he was right about it looking better with my coloring.

timsflower81

I had a YG ring once and I hated it just because it was yellow gold.  I went to a jewelry store and paid like 30 dollars to have it rhodium dipped which changed it to white gold color.  It held up that way for about 2 years, then I had it redipped.  The plating wears off eventually depending on what you do with your hands.  This was a ring I wore every day and never took off.   Perhaps this is an option for you?