Tux shopping...with or without bride?

Salsera29

So, my FI mentioned going to pick out tuxes with one of his GM. I said, "And me." He said, "Who says you're invited?" (joking, I think). Those of you who are married, did you go to pick out tuxes with your FI? Am I being a bridezilla if I insist on coming (if he wasn't joking)?

Salsera29

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_tux-shoppingwith-or-without-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:43e8e88d-bff2-4da9-9457-b8beed6e05e1Post:bc29b7af-b6e6-44a2-b004-977cd84433e6">Re: Tux shopping...with or without bride?</a>:
[QUOTE]What does FI want? We picked out H's suit together. He is terrbile at dressing himself and wanted help. Originally we had nominated our best dressed male friend to go with him, but he was too tied up with work and school, so H and I went together and picked out his suit. <strong>How would you feel if he insisted on coming with you to pick a dress?</strong>
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, I don't think it's entirely the same thing, but I get your point. I think he would most likely be fine picking out his own tux, (and the GM tuxes). I suppose I'm a little bit of a control freak. Which is one reason I love TK message boards for helping to keep me in check lol.  </div>

jessi3617

Salsera I agree with u. He wanted black tux I wanted wihte or gray.. Sorry ladies I guess Im a control freak but I just did not want black tuxs. I would ask him if you could go. If he says yes just stand aside and let him look and if see what he picks out.. My fl knew I didnt want black but he did so when we went I stood aside and let him do his thing he found a gray one and said honey what do you think.. I never told him he couldnt have something I was just there if he needed help.

itzMS

A lot depends on your area. In my circle, the guys almost always wear black suits or tuxes and the groom just informs his groomsmen wear to rent from. We don't have many options.

I would think you should just let your FI pick his own if that's what he wants.

Maggie0829

I went with my H to pick out the tuxes, but that is only because he really would have had no clue what he was doing.  Any other time he needed a tux for some other event, either myself or his Mother went to help.  So yeah, he would have been lost.

I get where you are coming from with wanting to be involved but do you trust him?  If so, you need to trust that he won't pick some crazy Dumb and Dumber orange/blue tux with matching top hat and cane.  Just tell him the color scheme, if he doesn't already know, and show him the color your BMs are wearing.

Let him and his GM have some fun.  Just like you did when you went dress shopping.  Surprsingly there are some Grooms out there that don't want their FI to see them in their wedding day attire before the big day as well.

AddieCake

My husband went with his groomswoman b/c we were lin separate states for 3 months before the wedding. They sent me pictures while they shopped so I could weigh in.

Sierra524

I plan on going with my FI. He has no idea what he is doing and gets really overwhelmed with things like that. We both already know what color we are going for (gray), but not what style. Im actually looking forward to it.

bridalmarch

FI actually worked at a tuxedo shop during college, so he knows a ton more about that stuff than I do, but we went together. 

MrsHoward2Be

I didn't go. I trust him to pick something nice.

bunni727

My H picked out the tuxes. I think it's absurdly unfair for the bride to decide on his clothes as well as her own, unless he has asked for her help or input.

You may want to discuss level of formality before he goes. I was in a tea-length dress and H wore a tux; we would have been more evenly matched had he chosen a suit, but that wasn't something I was concerned with.

tlc35

I am going but if he really insisted on going without me I would deal with it. I wouldn't like it though.

JennaMichelle88

I'm planning on going since none of his GM are local, so he'd just be alone if I didn't go. I'm not going to tell him what to choose, but we still aren't decided on the suit vs. tux part so it will probably be a process.

gabriel0915

I only went with H because he got his suits at Macys and we happened to see them walking through the store one day. He picked his shirt and we already had his tie. He's definitely the nicer dresser in this relationship so I would definitely had let him go on his own.

csweaney

As long as you're clear with him about what colors, etc he needs to be looking at then I think it will be fun for him to go alone with his groomsmen. They can make a day out of it. 

You could just ask him "Hey babe, did you want me to come with you to your tux appointment or do you think you have it handled?" That way at least you're clear about whether or not he wants you to go. 

Salsera29

Thanks for the responses! I definitely wouldn't pick FOR him, we actually have done really well with making decisions together (flowers, cake, etc). I guess I'll just ask him what he wants and deal if he wants it to be boys only. 

mlg78

I went with my fiance and I'm glad I did...I briefly changed my shade of purple because of it.  I'm letting him go with his boys at a later date to do their thing and make a day of it where I'm sure they'll end up at a bar.  

My two cents:  Let boys be boys...but assist your husband in looking great on your wedding day and making sure he coordinates with YOU.  (ie - my fiance had no idea my dress was ivory)

princess pop

My fiance and all of his groomsmen went to pick out tuxes in England, before he moved to California. I don't think they would have picked something that matched the wedding scheme at all, but I sent his mother along to regulate. Boom.

Lisa50

I absolutely did not go (nor want to go) shopping with H when he picked out his formal wear.  He's a grown up and more than capable of making that decision on his own.

I did, however, go with my son (my best man) to buy his tuxedo.  Since I was paying for his tux and he'd only rented prom tuxedos in the past, I felt he needed the bride's input for such a significant purchase.  He'll have that tux for the next decade, at least.

Andama08

My FI and I both decided on a color (grey). I looked online and found a few options and so did he. I gave my opinion but he has to wear it so he has the final say.. I didn't care as long as the color was right.